Two years ago, I only needed to recharge my cell phone once a day. Now a days I have to recharge it nearly thrice on most days. Of course, the phone battery itself is not getting any younger or better, but certainly the number of phone calls have increased.
I am quite sure that this is not an indicator of my importance or status!! Far from it. If the increase in phone calls is an indicator it is of my inefficiency in making people and confreres independent. The more the calls, the greater their reliance on me, rather than on themselves. I understand and appreciate those calls which are more for keeping me updated; but if for any other reason, then rather than forming the confreres to be self-reliant and interdependent (primarily on their own community confreres), they are becoming dependent on me. Which isn't a good sign for growth and maturity.
So I constantly keep pushing the ball back in their court. Getting them to take primary responsibility and only assuring my support; not me taking on their responsibilities.
Sacrifice or detachment without a purpose is like going to the beach and returning without even getting ones feet wet in the sea! Good, but not noble enough. Having a purpose and higher motive ennobles the already good act of giving up something. Good to sacrifice, but let's not sacrifice the purpose!
Giving up meals or meat or something favourite for the season of Lent, could be a health benefit but if one wishes to make it a Lenten special, it has to be linked to Jesus.
Mother Teresa once compared her own charitable works to a drop in the ocean; nonetheless qualified it as important by concluding that if she were not to do that work, the ocean would be less by a drop!
Lessons:
We do not see drops of water in the ocean; we merely see the ocean. If each drop were to seek a distinct identity and not be seen as in union with the other, there would only be drops but no ocean. Unity in diversity is the key; not the latter alone!
Only the ocean survives the summer heat, not individuated water drops or small water bodies. Our vision should outlast our life and work.
Strive for quality; not rest on the laurels of some minor achievements. Aim small, achieve small. Aim big, achieve big!
Don Bosco, in his dream at the age of 9, saw the vast group of children before him. He later saw the wolves and was invited to change them in to meek lambs.
I was pleasantly amused to hear Fr Pascual Chavez, as part of his retreat talks to the GC29 members, speak about the modern need or task of the Salesians: To prevent the lambs from becoming wolves!
Very very true and challenging indeed.
Greater challenge, as for me, is to ensure that we Salesians do not turn in to wolves!!!
During the US civil war, a group of pastors met President Abraham Lincoln and while at breakfast stated, "Mr President, at this time of the civil war, we pray that God is on our side." To which Abe replied, "No gentlemen. Let us pray that we are on God's side!"
True indeed, a great reminder for each of us to seek God's will rather than expect God to support our desires and fantasies. That religion is more about being open to God than using God as a means to do what we want.
The Salesian formation guide, The Ratio, (at least in its earlier edition) states it clearly that formation guides while helping youngsters and young Salesians discern their vocation to Salesian religious life are to look for 'an abundance of good qualities'; and not just be satisfied by 'an absence of negative or bad qualities'.
There is a world of difference between the two. It is not enough to not do anything wrong or bad, or even do nothing at all. One needs to be passionate and active in doing good and striving to be good. Without that effort, one is already showing signs of being a parasite!
The readings of the day speak of the reason for the floods in the earliest of days, as narrated in the book of Genesis. God sees evil prevailing and wishes for a fresh start. In the Gospel of the day we see Jesus questioning the doubtful nature of mankind, even after witnessing his miraculous production of food for the thousands, from the little available.
What stands out for me in both these readings is the abundance that prevails in God's presence. Yahweh decides to destroy the earth, but he makes provision for life to replenish. He spares a human family and ensures that there is a pair of every living creature... that too a reproductive pair. Then Jesus brings out of the little bread and fish, the abundance of food for every person present on those different occasions.
As humans we often fail to see the abundance of goodness. We restrict our vision to the little and few. Nothing odd or bad about that perspective. Nonetheless, the Lord invites us to see and be part of the abundance that is bound to prevail, when in God's presence... Don Bosco's view of the Divine Providence!
At times and in some confreres and communities there is this bug of imitation... not of the challenging or conviction aspect of others but of the grandeur and splendour of things! That guy has remodelled his office, so let me also renovate my office and go for false ceiling. He has gone to Hyderabad this month, so let me also take off. That community has put up interlocking bricks along the drive, so let's do the same. In that community, they gave us each a t-shirt for this celebration, so let's give each a pair of branded trousers this time! My rector has taken 15,000/- this month for his expenses, so will I.
This is precisely the offshoot of a misplaced focus: when our attention and priorities shift from Jesus of the Gospel and the poor, every glittering thing appears good and necessary. It is a matter of getting our priorities right.
Needs before wants... all the more as religious, being generous and joyful in placing the needs of the poor before my personal luxury and desires.
Person and his/her growth before setting my own legacy in stone (through a building or property).
Christ and his values, before my own fancy plans and eogistic castles.
Initiating a process of change, rather than complete an event with all pomp and glamour.
Someone admiring a very old, large and ornate Cathedral, especially its design, craftsmanship and grandeur, sighed loudly enough for the one standing next to him to hear, "Why can't we build so today? Why can't we build with such pride, such craftsmanship today? After all, we now have better technology and facilities than back then!"
The other man replied, "Well, they had convictions; we, mostly, only opinions! They had passion; we, mostly, only fashion!"
Last week, while in Goa the emphasis of the workshop and meeting was on focusing on the impact of our work, rather than carrying out charity in old mode of merely doling out. The effort (or rather, the demand of donors and benefactors) to show how our work would impact the society, rather than merely do some good is indeed a challenge.
While not everything in life can be measured in terms of quantifying an impact, the stress on making every effort be geared towards an impact (long term wider and deeper process initiation) can never be discounted or disregarded.
One tangible and necessary strategy of adapting an impact-focused effort is the personal discipline of REFLECTION on EXPERIENCE. Everyday we undergo so much in life. There are so many experiences we gain. But unless and until we are willing to REFLECT on those - if not all, at least some, and that too seriously - we tend to miss out on a very valuable means of growth, of training, of formation!
A sincere reflection, I believe, will lead me to make sensible CHOICES. And a string of consistent and bold choices invariably lead to better CHARACTER.
With all the talk and push for greater visibility and marketing of our services, in contrast to the earlier humble silent 'do-your-own-work' mode, there is always the risk that one may go overboard with this advertising model.
I firmly believe that we truly need to showcase our works; not so much to impress others but to put out there what we truly do, in the light of all the rumours, character-assassination and negative media bias. Nonetheless, we do what we do because we are truly convinced of it and give it our best.
It is said that Michealangelo while painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would spend hours doing very fine art work. One of his young artist students asked him as to why go through so much pain and effort at something no one will notice from the ground. "Why put in so much when no one will notice?" To which Michaelangelo seemed to have replied, "I will!" I do what I do, because I can and I will!
I returned home yesterday from a visit to a few of our communities in the Vijayawada-Guntur region. Add to that my daily quota of phone calls from confreres expressing their difficulties and issues. All this makes me wonder, if only we are able to find and celebrate those reasons that bind and unite us than thrive in meticulously finding reasons to fight and differ from one another.
In each community there are SO MANY factors and possibilities that can bring us together. Yet time and again, we choose to see the few frailties and shortcomings of one another and harp on them to such an extent that neither do I do anything worthwhile nor do I let others do any good. Together we spend our time, energy and passion in tearing down one another!
I know there is no magical formula to better the situation. But I truly wonder, if after years of formation and training, this is what we end up as, then there is something wrong in our priorities or methodology.
This image truly expresses my present feeling and experience!
Today a few of us attended the funeral of Ms Thumma Agathamma, the aunt of Mr Gopu Balareddy. Although the aunt, he respected and loved her more than his own mother, because it was she who brought him up.
Before and during the funeral Mass, listening to the virtues of the deceased and her adopted son, it struck me that both of them have been utterly selfless and generous towards the Church, especially priests and religious. Their respect for the clergy and their charitable works has been truly commendable. Certainly Mr Balareddy imbibed this virtue from his aunt.
Nonetheless the thought that occurred to me was that if at all they continued in their religious life, which they both did try to discern and choose sometime early in life, their impact on the Andhra Church and those lives they touch(ed) would not have been the same. I feel they have been of greater help to the Church as lay people than if the were to have become priest or a nun!
That is what I believe is the mystery of a vocation (any vocation, be that of a priest or a businessman, of a religious or a housewife). It is a call to which one is invited to respond. Not a mere career one chooses by oneself.
Attending the workshop on understanding social impact management, I found myself at a loss and some topics going over my head. Nonetheless I did grasp most of the points about project writing and related matters. Although the last session of the impact management on evaluation and stuff was too nuanced for me to understand.
However, what surprised me was the availability of resources and methods of conceptualising and articulating a project proposal. Among the participants, I may have been the only guy who was not from the Planning and developmental (PDO) works sector... although ironically I'm supposed to be the director of our Province PDO. So quite a bit of it was new for me. But looking around, I was surprised to see that there were others too who appeared to be hearing these things for the first time.
One of my learning has been the distinction between output, outcome and impact, especially in the social work area.
Although at several moments of the workshop I found myself deciding that I should delve more into this, I resisted the temptation. With my plate full and overflowing, I need to first get my act straight before taking up new hobbies!
Yesterday during the council meeting, the secretary fumbled at a point while reading the minutes or report. He fumbled while reading numerical digits running into lakhs. He was not really familiar with lakhs and crores and therefore was struggling to understand and read those numbers.
I chuckled to myself at that moment as I was reminded of my own exact predicament when I was the secretary myself, years ago. What amused me was not the memory of my own struggle, but the fact that I was now sitting at that very same table, 18 years later as the financial head (Economer) having to handle and read those numbers everyday!!
Of course, not always are those lakhs and crores appearing in our bank accounts, but more often as debts and payments!!!
During our session on Social impact management by Ms Anita Rego, I was struck by one particular point she mentioned early in her presentation.
She spoke about respecting the life of the beneficiaries whom we reach out to and often make a remarkable contribution in alleviating pain and suffering. She said that once we make this intervention, at times over years and varied means, and the individual is free of that what stifled his or her growth and life, we must let that life grow by itself. Just because we have made a difference in the life that individual does not mean that the person has to be indebted to us for the rest of his/her life. I do not 'own' that person. He/she is totally free to live his/her life on his/her own terms. Neither do I have to feel entitled to his/her decisions or plans nor has that individual to feel 'burdened' under our 'charity'.
It is no rocket science to know that the two do not go together! With mosquitoes around one can hardly meditate. Besides the stings, the singing itself is dreadful. However, mosquitoes are perfect creatures as example of meditative efficacy. Their heat-seeking natural accuracy makes them perfect models of efficacy from good meditation practices. That singular focus is truly an outcome of good meditation skills. This whole reflection was my meditation this morning – all because I was swarmed by mosquitoes!
Commemorating the day of consecrated life, I participated in the Mass at the Charity convent. Most of the sisters are elderly and infirm. Participating in the Mass in their company I could sense their pride and achievement... having lived their religious life for so many years and with such diligence.
The best part of the Mass for me was the Eucharistic distribution. As usual, at the time of receiving communion, we stood in line in the aisle and returned to our places. After that, the Priest and a Sister went around the different parts of the Church to where those who cannot walk were seated.
That part of the Mass is where I felt the Lord responding to the elderly Sisters years of commitment: You have run around and done much in my name; now when you do not have the same physical strength, I'm more than happy to come to you!
I have been travelling by road for the last one week. Most of the time we set out early to beat the traffic to the next place. Invariably it is still dark and being winter often misty too. Nonetheless the most common people we see already up and about their work at that time of the day are the vegetable and fruit farmers and vendors.
The farmers or the vendors are either transporting their produce or products to the market or are setting up the shop, for the sale. And I wondered if the vegetables or fruits are not sold. It is a double loss for them and their families: They do not earn much and unless they themselves consume the fruits or vegetables, they are going to get spoilt. From the mere observation of the lives of these poor people, they'd hardly afford fresh products for themselves. Even if they have to eat it, rather than throw it away, they'd wait till the end, hopeful of some buyer purchasing them.
The rest, those who sell imperishable goods, I suppose do not have such a tension. They can conveniently pull down the shutter to their stores, hopeful for a better sale tomorrow - assured that their wares are not going to get spoilt by then. They can afford to open the shop anytime after 10 am.
There is an iconic short story told of a famous boxer who loved to brag about his abilities. He often spoke of how he would 'conquer the world'.
It is said that one day, he came to a big city with two huge suitcases. As he got down the bus, putting the suitcases down, he looked up to the tall building tower and exclaimed: “I will conquer this city!”
When he looked down, however the suitcases were gone!
I narrated this to the Brothers the other day, reminding them of not losing sight of the basics while dreaming of making it 'big'.
Don Bosco never bragged about himself, but he certainly dreamt big for his boys. His essence was all but for his boys! There was hardly anything of himself - although, by temperament, he was very proud and impetuous.
Although I have decided not to talk about our SEPP (annual plan) and its process, nonetheless, I found the criteria stated in the Frame of Reference for the evaluation of the same something very meaningful. We are good at making plans - however, haphazard and useless they are. But what we never dare to do is evaluate. Perhaps it is linked with our planning itself. Primarily because they can never be evaluated!!
Nonetheless, here are three criteria:
Is the plan centred on the young, especially the poor?
Is it communitarian in nature, involving all the stakeholders? In other words, is the mission owned up, the responsibility shared?
Is the plan relevant to reality?
More than points for evaluation of a plan already in place, I feel these are good signposts to gauge the quality of our plan, prior to implementation itself.
In the episode of Don Bosco and Bartholomew Garelli, in the sacristy of the church, which marked the beginning of Don Bosco's work for the poor and abandoned youth, there is a very clear distinction between the way Don Bosco approached the boy and the sacristan.
For the sacristan the boy was 'useless' unless he was able to serve Mass. A very utilitarian outlook. From this perspective the meaning of life is defined only in terms of what I do. The significance is derived from my achievements. Hence the emphasis on responsibility, role, position, status, success...
For Don Bosco, the boy was relevant just for himself. His significance was his mere existence and presence. Who I am. Hence the emphasis on relationship, spirituality, care, concern (for self and others). In this sense, a dimension that I need to grow in, when it comes to viewing others and myself is this: How deeply is this sense of identity rooted in God?
The Constitutions of us Salesians, art. 23 and 60 speak of our profession/vow, as '... a radical living of our baptism...'
Most often we miss out that radical dimension of our profession. It is the intensity of this radicality that characterises our religious commitment. It is this radical aspect that should set us religious, apart from the baptised.
If not for this radicality, we are not even Christians, leave alone Salesians or religious.
Last month Fr Biju, the regional councillor for South Asia, was in the Province and as part of his visitation of the Province, he gave a talk to the leaders of the communities and commissions during which he spoke of 4 components of any system. Somehow it made much sense to me... perhaps because of my own insistence on right prioritisation and the need of a focused goal setting.
The four components he spoke of were:
Purpose
Organise
Process
Resources
Besides the listing, the order is also important.
The PURPOSE is always shared and inspirational. Without a clarity and consensus about this, all our efforts, however noble and serious, will only yield in scattered results and not a consistent useful trend. This is something that needs to arise from within, as does it drive from within. Therefore the setting of standards, quality, growth, change...
With regard to ORGANISATION, boundaries do exist, but are permeable. And certainly the need of collaboration between specialisations.
The PROCESS should be bound by rules, but with the minimum necessary. Fundamental policies need to be in place, with the possibility of local customisation.
As for RESOURCES, they need to be used with great flexibility. This requires 'variety'. Careful planning for investment for developing new capabilities, innovation and not merely for sustenance.
To tell you the truth, I was afraid of losing in a quarter of an hour this little bit of liquid of gentleness…
… which I have attempted to gather for twenty-two years, drop by drop like dew in the vessel of my puny heart!
All of us have our own likes and dislikes. Each one of us is certainly entitled to our own opinion. We also have the liberty to express our opinion or likes and dislikes. These opinions and expressions do not necessarily define our identity. But there is a certain line you do not cross, especially in communicating ones own opinions or likes or dislikes. Once you cross that line, you are no more expressing your opinion but revealing your character.
No more is it about the other or that which I intend to speak about, that aspect outside of myself; it is now I who am on display! It is myself that I am exposing unabashedly and totally unconsciously. And all the while think that it is the other that I am speaking about.
I do not have the answer to the question that I am asking myself but certainly I feel that there is something missing in our prioritisation and process of stressing on prayer and a meaningful prayer life.
The insistence on prayer (especially community prayer) is a very common reminder that I have heard of since my initial years of formation and training. Nonetheless, I fear that we have consistently misplaced our importance. That we have put the cart before the horse. That we have missed stressing the core and have focused on the accidentals or sure by products.
For me, the insistence and effort should be at offering our young people, our formees and certainly ourselves, a profound personal God-experience. A sincere thirst, a passion for God. Now how exactly do we do that, I have no magic formulas. But if I truly taste God and have an experience of him, no matter how fleeting or far-in-between my many days on earth, I will find may own ways of staying in touch with him, relishing him. Prayer, attendance at the Eucharist, partaking in the sacraments, will all happen by default thereafter.
Aim big, achieve big. Dream small, achieve small! Certainly God-experience is no small aim.
This morning during our common discussion, Palli made a very profound intervention. Though very many were up in arms against him for that statement, without actually giving it a thought, they actually proved him right - even in their criticism of him!
What he pointed out to us all was that we Catholics often project ourselves out of the world and speak of ourselves as if there is the world outside of me and then there is me (or us).
While elaborating that point he made another distinct point which went unnoticed. It was about our perspective of God or even that of Jesus. We hold onto that perspective, most often what is commonly preached in the church, and refuse to see that perhaps sometimes even God himself may not be happy with that imagery we have of him.
To drive home the point Palli stated that Jesus said, whatever you do to the least of your brethren you do it for me... he never said, do it to your brethren because you love me. This reference to the Scriptural quote was to drive home the point that God does not wait for us to do good out of love for him. The very fact that we do some good to those in need is already done for God - even if we do not have that intention of attributing or sourcing it from God.
While trying to get my head around his passionate appeal, I was reminded of Richard Rorty's book Philosophy and the Mirror of nature. Remembering a philosophical title after long!!!
But, do I actually have to? Because they are more attuned to the reality of the world than I.
Perhaps it is more of learning from them. More of accompanying them. Standing by their side. At the most, offering them guidance (based on my experience and age), some direction, at times perhaps boost their morale, helping them stay focused...
The first question stems from our insistence in the province, on forming youth groups... which I feel, in itself is good, but useless. The formation of the group is useless if not accompanied or preceded by the question: Why form the group? What for? And if it is a group activity, all the members of the group will naturally vibe with that ‘why’, unless imposed by someone outside.
More than ever, I've come to realise that the more we invest in infrastructure, the more we are tying down our own selves, especially in terms of our apostolate. With our ever increasing craze to build structures, even with already built buildings lying idle or under utilised, we tend to push for newer buildings.
The skewed logic being: We needed the space, so we built. But over the years, the numbers are constantly dwindling and in quite a few places we hardly have any resident students or boarders. And since the building is there, we feel the need to fill it up with children. Even if the need isn't that or has totally changed. So the reason for staying behind and doing the same work as before is that there is the building!!
I'm reminded of an incident in Hollywood which struck me very deeply...Ward Kimball was an animator for the Walt Disney Studios in the 1930’s. He was on the team for the first full-length animated feature by the Disney studio, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937).
He spent 240 days working on a single four-and-a-half-minute scene. In that scene, the dwarfs were cooking a meal for Snow White, and he covered every detail.
When the time came, to review the film, Walt Disney personally reviewed the scene and commented: “That scene is hilarious. It’s terrific.”
Then, he added, “But, I think it interrupts the flow of the movie so we need to cut it out!”
So off went that scene - 240 days of immense work, scrapped in order to preserve and enhance, the greatness of the film!
I wish we had that courage and vision of Ward Kimball to be able to see the greater picture and adapt accordingly, however painful it may be.
As religious our apostolate is taking up tasks that need to be done, and there’s no one doing it. We undertake works that are urgent and necessary but none willing to do. Doing what everyone is doing, especially if they are doing it better than us, is no charism. That’s the corporate mode or race. Not a religious commitment.
Secondly taking up something new is not for the sake of ‘doing something new’ but because there is a felt need and our apostolate is a response to that need.
Contextualising this for us Salesians I ask myself: As SDBs what is the need that is demanding our intervention, especially in the youth sphere?
Whatever the need I could think of (work for migrants, those addicted to drugs or social media, those struggling with mental health issues, young couples...), it struck me that our response necessarily does not mean starting something totally new. It mostly implies transforming existing modes of apostolate into something relevant. Perhaps it is easier to start something new, rather than adapt obsolete traditions and works to something relevant for the day and today’s need.
But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”
I think this edition of the text is much much more mature and sensible, than the one's I always have heard. The translations I have heard so far are always used to exalt the 'supremacy' of priestly and religious life - something I have always condemned.
No vocation is greater or lessor. Only our response to it!
In 1871 Don Bosco sent professor Don Paolo Albera, who was later to become his second successor, to found the Morassi house in Genoa.
Don Albera had accepted a few gifts of money from friends and acquaintances because he knew he would need funds to set up the new house. Before he departure, Don Bosco asked him if he needed anything.
"No, thank you, Don Bosco! I already have five hundred lire." (500 lire then would be approximately INR 35 today!)
"But that is too much money," protested Don Bosco. "You will find Providence in Genoa as well as in Turin."
The saint took a few lire from a drawer, handed them to Don Albera and took the five hundred lire bill.
When this became known, everyone laughed, and Don Bosco chuckled: "It would be an insult to Providence to put away a fund for future needs."
Such was Don Bosco's trust in Divine Providence. While he struggled for funds all his life, even as a boy, he never doubted the maxim 'God provides', no matter how big or small his initiatives were. I think a major source of this confidence comes from the realisation that all he did was actually God's work, not his!
When Don Bosco was being photographed (photography a rare novelty then) he chose to be photographed hearing confessions; and the boy making his confession is young Paul Albera.
I’m beginning to notice a very strange but sure trend in movies. A growing subtle shift in preferences of negative personalities over persons with honest and value-based priorities is quite disheartening. The worst is that we very unconsciously side by the former, even to the extent of going against the latter (leave alone, mere preference for the former). So one finds oneself rooting and exalting for the hero who is actually doing evil; and the honest civilian or police officer or forest guard becomes the villain. A typical example of this is the ongoing blockbuster telugu movie Pushpa.
In the movie Pushpa, a sandalwood smuggler is the hero and the forest guard (even though equally egoistical) is the villain. When I watched part one of this movie, I never felt anything odd. It is only when I watched part two of the same (which wasn’t as well made as the previous one) did it suddenly strike me that the whole movie is an exaltation of a smuggler!
Another blockbuster, Salaar, again is of a mercenary! The other recently successful movie, Lucky Bhaskar, is of a bank employee who scams the public fund. Each of these movies shows intelligent men successfully get away with illegal activities and are blatantly portrayed as ‘success stories’.
Salesian Youth Movement (SYM) is an apt name. And I think we Salesians should not lose sight of the meaning of this very name... a movement. Not an event, a mere celebration or an achievement. But a movement. A process.
The greatest challenge we face is to regularly ask ourselves (and subsequently, the youth) as to what is the PURPOSE of this movement. Without a clarity and consensus about this purpose and goal, our youth groups, fests, gatherings and other such events are scattered mount Tabor experiences – leading to a good and nice feeling at the moment, but of no real use in the long run.
The greatest risk is that we make our youth dumb and superficial. By nature, the youth are a dynamite; but if they are not challenged well beyond their capacity, they become hollow and settle for the least of standards and capacities.
There once was a farmer who grew award-winning ‘corn’ (maize).
Each year he entered his corn in the fair-competition conducted at the state-level, where it won a prize.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him. Among the many great practices that this farmer had adopted, the reporter also learned something highly interesting about how this farmer grew corn…
… and which made him to win a prize every year.
The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn… his best variety seed… with his neighbouring farmers!
“How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are also entering into competition with you?” enquired the bewildered reporter.
“Why sir,” replied back the farmer, “didn’t you know one of the important realities of life? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.
If my neighbours grow inferior variety of corn, the cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn as well. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn.
This is the reality of life that I have realized: In order to get the best out of life, I need to give my best to the other!”
The other day I received a call and before I could answer it, the call got cut. Within a couple of minutes my phone rang. It was the same number that had called earlier. This time it rang long enough and when I answered it, the person at the other end politely apologised and said it was a wrong call!!! He had called the second time to say to me that the first call was a wrong call!!
This incident reminded me of an incident while at Karunapuram. Nagothu Balakishore was appointed the bell ringer for that month. One morning when he rang the rising bell I, as the assistant, realised that he had rang the bell one hour early (instead of 5.45 am, he had rang the electric bell at 4.45 am). By the time I realised that he had mistaken the time, nearly half of those who had woken up were already in the wash area brushing their teeth. They had now clue that it was only 4.45 am. I met a very confused Kishore near the bell, who was surrounded by a few of his companions, some not so happy!! Anyway, as I made a round of the wash areas informing the brothers that there was a mistake and that they could get back to bed for another hour, I suddenly heard the bell ring again!!
When I rushed to the bell switch I see Kishore ringing the bell again. Shocked, I asked him why the second bell. He sheepishly replied, "To cancel the first bell." Now those who had not woken up at the first wrong bell were also awake!!
This morning I was glad that I could make it for the Memorial Mass of Mr Anthony Noronha, the dad of Mario, a long time family friend. It was nice to meet very many of the family members, most of whom I last met when I was a little. Papa and Mummy always had/have a high regard for this particular family and from my little interaction with Mario I can sense why so.
I distinctly remember when Papa passed away and I was overseas. By the time I came home, all the arrangements for the Mass and funeral were done; mostly by Baly and Santiagu. But I also became aware that there were some family friends who had also chipped in. With Mario, it was particularly evident. He did not come to the limelight or make himself prominent. But he did greatly help at home. At one particular moment, after we returned home from the burial ground, we were serving meals for all at home. There were quite a few, with many from Mangalore. And Mario was helping out in serving. When I offered him the plate and invited him to have his meal he said, "Those of the family eat last, after serving the guests!" And he continued serving the 'guests' with a smile!
Today as I sat in the Church praying for the family, I repeated to myself what I had shared at Fr Maliekal's mum's funeral: I did not know her. I never spoke to her or met her. Yet as the saying goes, 'The tree is known by its fruits' I am happy and convinced to say that she was a very loving, hardworking and principled woman... all because I know two of her sons. And both of them are exemplary in their way of life. I therefore believe that it is more than grace that has made them what they are... which I attribute to her upbringing.
Hence my admiration and appreciation of the man whose Memorial Mass I was attending - a total stranger to me personally, yet not someone about whom I knew nothing!
Don Bosco's passion of working for the abandoned and vagabonds of Turin gets going in the sacristy of the church, on 8 December 1841. Don Bosco, while vesting for Mass, hears the sacristian chasing out a poor frightened boy who had sneaked into the sacristy to stay warm. He calls the boy back and initiates a conversation, only to get single word terrified answers, until the question, "Do you know to whistle?"
I can imagine the joy on the face of this boy when he hears a question to which he has a joyful answer!! I'm sure Don Bosco too would have whistled with him (although it is not recorded anywhere!). But it is only after the whistle did they pray the Hail Mary (with Bartholomeo Garelli, reciting after Don Bosco).
Wonder if Don Bosco had insisted on beginning everything with a prayer, where would we Salesians be - if at all, we did come to be!
Flying kites all by myself, with the whole terrace free and peaceful is a great joy. But flying kites with children, that's an adventure!!
The last couple of days I've been flying kites with a couple of our resident staff and their children... gosh, it is all confusion. Forget about the kites swooping down from up above, of the neighbours, coming down to clash with mine, there are a hundred other kites and threads running all across. While I managed to cut half-a-dozen of the kites in the skies, I lost two (the only two I lost) ... thanks to the kids around me who keep running around with the kites in hand and entangling every bit of thread.
Then there are some of these whom you have to constantly keep an eye on. Take your eye off them for a millisecond and you'll see them next on a ladder climber higher on the water tank, or trying to reach for the branch of a tree from the parapet of the terrace or scaling the solar panels!!!
Then there are kids who, while flying one kite, see another cut one flying kilometers away happily leave this kite in hand and run (mind you, we're on the terrace of a building!) to try and catch that cut kite!
By the time it is dark and we get off the terrace, there are nearly two dozen kites that we need to pick up from the terrace... not one of which will be intact! Not to say anything of the thread (brought in earlier or gathered from the cut kites)... it is all bundled as if one were rolling a mat after a night cap on the roof!
Nonetheless, of the two options of flying kites alone or with others, I'd still prefer the latter!
The last I flew a kite was when I was studying in Divyadaan, Nashik... way back in 1999. It is after 25 years that I again had the joy of flying kites the other day at Mothinagar. For the last three years I have kept telling myself that I need to again fly kites, but never managed to get to the terrace to actually fly one. Even though I collected some kites every year!!
So when the opportunity presented itself while at Mothinagar, I did not hesitate or feel shy! The next day, back in the Provincial house I walked to the nearest shop and purchased a charka and thread, since I had a good collection of kites which I had gathered from the terrace for the last couple of days.
Last Sunday had the joy of flying one with Willy and Anet. However, Anet couldn't get her head around the notion and act of standing in the sun and holding on to a thread! So, while flying the kite, she sat down in the shade and asked, 'How long do I have to do this?' I guess likes and preferences differ. Perhaps I'd have asked the same question if I were riding a horse, and she'd be dumb-founded at that question!!!
In the book Mister God, this is Anna, there is an interesting episode - among the many - where Fynn tucks little Anna into bed and ...
"Ain't you gonna say your prayers?" she asked. "Well, yes," I replied, "when I get to bed." "I want say mine now with you," she said. So we both god down on our knees and she talked while I listened.
I've been to church many times, and heard many prayers, but none like this. I can't remember much about her prayer except that it started off with, "Dear Mister God, this is Anna talking," and she went on in such a familiar way of talking to Mister God that I had the creepy feeling that if I dared look behind me he would be standing there.
It is that familiarity and closeness with which Anna 'speaks' to God that caught my attention. God, for her, was not a distant reality or a supernatural being to be adored. For her, God was alive and present, in person, for real and therefore addressed and spoken to as if present here and now.
I wonder how many of us will ever reach this stage of life, this personal experience of God.
In one of Don Bosco's dreams he sees a shepherdess leading a pack of wolves and wild animals towards the Church and eventually the lot of wild animals turns into meek lambs. This was read by Don Bosco as a sign of what he was to do.
When I heard of this dream, I asked myself, as a Salesian, all the more in my present role, if I look back and see those following me, whom would I find?
I once used to tell the Brothers at Kondadaba that when going to the villages for the oratory, they have an opportunity not just to 'do something' but to 'inspire and sow the seed'. The analogy I had in mind was that of the octopus and our ministry as leaders to not limit ourselves to be one of the tentacles, but the head of the octopus. Therefore, as I turn back and see as to who is following me now, I really don't expect to see many - or any, for that matter! Nonetheless, I know for sure of this: that I am being watched; I am being observed. The thoughts, plans, decisions and most especially my witness will challenge, inspire and perhaps help others, in due time. Because it is not for them that I be and do what I do, but because that is how God wants me to be and do and I concur with what is His plan.
Hearing today's gospel reading I was reminded of one of Papa's quotes, which we still fondly use at home: Shut up and keep quiet!
Jesus preached to the people with authority. If so why did he have to give the demon a double command: Be quiet and get out! He could have either told it to be silent or asked it to get out all together. Either way, the person would have been healed - at least mostly. But from experience of Papa's use of this statement, I think, unless the demon left and left silently, the harm done would be equally bad, if it were only silent and still plaguing the person from within.
