Grace before repentance

In our regular understanding and expression we most often think that repentance comes first and God's forgiveness follows.  It is as if God is responding to us.  

But I personally believe it is God who makes the first move. It is his Grace that moves us.  

In the Gospel of today we hear the incident of the prodigal son.  The son is repentant, after having lost all his possessions, and then thinks of his father.  His decision to get back to his father is not primarily because of his guilt; what precedes and supersedes that guilt is the trust that his father will take him back. Perhaps not as his son, in his earlier status, but at least as one of his hired servants... nonetheless, the son knew for certain that his father would accept him back!  

That benevolence of the father is the bedrock of our hope, our trust, our repentance. It is that same benevolence of the Father that draws us to approach the sacrament of reconciliation. Our repentance is in response to that benevolent grace; not the other way around. 

Belonging to God - a grace, not a reward

 I found the 'Collect' of this morning's commemorative Mass of St Bakitha very disturbing and in fact quite wrong!  The opening lines of the prayer read: 

O God, who led Saint Josephine Bakhita from abject slavery to the dignity of being your daughter and a bride of Christ, grant we pray, that by her example, we may.... 

It sounds as if she had to get out of slavery to become a child of God!!  That's atrocious!  No state of our life or circumstances in our living, and most certainly not of our own making, can prevent us from being a child of God.  At times our own choices and decisions strain our relationship with God but never does one have to become something in life in order to then become a child of God.  Being a child of God is not a reward, it is a grace - freely given and part of our nature.  

Peter and Paul

Peter and Paul, the two great stalwarts of the early Church were not the best of men around those times.  They certainly were not the most capable and celebrated individuals in Israel of those days.  Evaluating others among the apostles, there was John who was of an impeccable character.  Someone who was also loved greatly by the Lord himself.  Or there was Mathew or Luke the educated ones.  But it was Peter, the illiterate, the fisherman, the mild, who was appointed as head of the apostles and ultimately given the keys of the Kingdom. 

Paul was no saint. He was a scholar, yes, but if his history were to be examined, he would have been the last one to be approached for standing for Christ.  Yet, he is the one who goes out to the non-Jews.  Together with Peter, he plants the seed of Christian faith in the heart of Roman empire.

None of them were given the mission because of their worthiness or talents.   They were entrusted with the mission and grace followed.  A good reminder for each one of us that it is God who has blessed us with all our talents and gifts, we only exercise them to the best of our capabilities.  

Secondly, there was no single hero doing all the work.  Something we see in Bollywood movies - all down to one man to do all the good!  The Church was a living example of work-in-communion.  Everyone, including God, did one's bit. Nothing greater or better.  Just what one could with the given-grace.  

A blessing lost

Today during Mass - during Communion, to be precise - I witnessed a scene that made me feel sad.  It made me say those words that young John Bosco said of the priests who never replied to a simple greeting: "If I were a priest, I would not do that!" 

The scene was of a small boy (J), aged 6 or 7, approach the priest distributing communion, along with his mother.  I've seen and interacted with this boy and for him his small toy, Teddy, is the best thing in the world.  So every Sunday he brings it along with him to Mass.  Today he surprisingly brought in another toy - appeared like a tiger or a honey bee.  But what he does every time he approaches the priest for a blessing, instead of the Communion, is that he stands there holding his toy high up, for the priest to give it also a blessing!!  I guess his logic is, if I can be blessed, why not bless Teddy too! 

Unfortunately none of the priests so far have obliged him!  And every time his mother has to drag him off the line!  My simple question: What does one lose by giving that toy a gentle tap?  You don't even have to utter a blessing.  Just smile and tap the toy!  J does not want anything else!  He's not asking for his Teddy to be baptised as per the ritual.  Just a blessing!  And even if a priest did bless the toy, will the latter then become the body of Christ?  Or will his priestly power diminish? 

If blessing a toy is going to brighten the day of a little 6-year old, and with him that of his whole family, I'd gladly do it every day! In fact, it is not the boy who lost out on a blessing today, it is we grown ups, especially the clergy, and the Church as a whole, who've lost out on the blessing of a happy child!  

Grace

Grace is someone (God Himself) and not something (as when we speak of 'different graces').  We often forget the nature of grace as a free gift, and consider our relationship with God to be something depending more on us than on Him (as when we speak of our 'preserving' or 'losing' grace).  In reality, we can lose everything, except grace, because grace is the gratuitous (not based on merit or as a reward) and unconditional love with which God gives himself to us.  

Favourite people?

I've often heard priests preach on the main theme of today's reading from the Acts of the apostles, where we see Peter telling, "God has no favourites."  Really?  But the whole history of the world and recorded testaments of religious show that God does have favourites: he chose Israel over other nations, did all those wonders and miracles for them, restored them their land, guided them and led them through the centuries, then when he wanted to send his son, he again chose the same Israelites.  Not only that even among them he had the tribe of Judah as the favourite.  When Jesus came on earth, he chose the twelve as apostles, and among them John was cited 'as beloved' of the Master. 

However, that can be said to be one side of the story.  Viewed from God's side (if we may), I think God loves all.  That's it.  He isn't loving one more than the other.  But those who experience his love and are moved by that, feel privileged.  Those who feel that 'others' are privileged, often fail to see how blessed they themselves are! But we always calculate our blessings on the basis of what we do not have rather than what we have!  Or worse, on the basis of what other have and I do not! 

The danger is when those who feel 'privileged' or are seen by others as 'privileged' start to act differently.  Those who honestly experience God's love, will not differentiate or discriminate, least of all, look down on others.  They'd prefer to share that privilege in their own way with others, joyfully. 

So it is right to say that God has no favourites? Perhaps the better way to say it is that God loves us and I am his favourite!  

The matchbox

This morning during the meditation a certain analogy came to my mind.  Know not for what and why.   I think it was about God and graces.  It was about a matchbox.  What if I handed to someone a matchbox full of match sticks and told them never to use it but to carefully preserve it.  However, they are keep it on themselves all the while.  They ought to preserve it and see that it does not get wet or soiled.

So the one receiving the matchbox is puzzled.  What's the point of having a matchbox which one is never supposed to open or use.  Moreover one is to preserve it carefully.  Does not make sense.

On the other hand, it will not make sense if one is presuming that it has match sticks.  Or that it has fresh unused match sticks.  Secondly that matchbox is only used to light a match and start a fire  (perhaps there are other uses of a matchbox which I haven't explored or thought of).  It is also possible that I'm not to use it but perhaps others can.

Feel like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden!

Being vulnerable

Reflection for Palm Sunday (April 09, 2017)

We are at the threshold of the Holy Week. We now witness the vulnerability of Jesus. If He wanted, He could have opted out or chosen a different path. But by making Himself vulnerable, He touches our hearts. We often feel strong and secure when our weaknesses are not known to others. We feel powerful when our secrets are safe. However, very few have the courage to expose their weaknesses and vulnerabilities. It is certainly a risky affair. You never know what others would do with such an intimate knowledge of ourselves. In the gospel narration of today we come across several people who are conscious to keep their secrets safe. The apostles anxiety in the Upper room: “Is it I Lord?” Caiaphas and Pilate had their own demons to be hid. The chief priests and scribes felt powerful to see Jesus on the cross; their inadequacies will no more be challenged.

However in the crowd there is also Mary Magdalene. She had nothing to hide. She was well aware that the Lord knew her whole story. She was touched by Him because she did not hesitate to hide from Him her frailties. To be truly touched implies the courage to reveal our vulnerabilities. In His passion, Jesus reveals to us his weakness: love for humanity. This Palm Sunday as we walk with Jesus, in His penultimate journey, let us acknowledge and work on our vulnerabilities rather than devise plans and ways to cover and safeguard them. Let us risk 'being touched'. Let grace flow.

A year of the Lord's favour

The following passage (Is. 61: 1-2) has been a recurring text during this season of Advent, especially in the Christmas tide.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and
release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour...

Every time I read this passage, especially the last line, (...to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour...), I end up meditating on the numerous obstacles that were in the way and in spite of which today I find myself here in the UK! Not my personal objections alone which I gave up in the beginning of the year, but mostly the circumstantial ones which even delayed my reaching here.  I know for sure there are very many who would die to get here, in my place! And I'm not talking only of refugees or immigrants!  Yet, it is I who am here having this luxury of reading, study and that too in a reputed institution.

If I were a Hindu, I would have said with great certitude, that I had done 'very very many' good deeds in my previous birth to enjoy all the privileges and graces that I am blessed with. And this grace period of study, is but one of the many innumerable ones.

Descent of the Holy Spirit

Practically this whole week's readings, office of readings, scripture passages and all the intercessory prayers somehow lead to the event of the Pentecost.  A curtain raiser on the Holy Spirit.

The image of the whole feast of Pentecost too is a bit dramatic!  I guess there was no other way of expressing somethig which is not so common a phenomenon.  The flames landing on each individual!  Somehow I find it odd also.  Not the event but the interpretation and the way this descent of the spirit is treated by very many in the Church.

It is a top-down event!  God giving and we receiving... now that's fine with me.  But what I find it difficult to understand and accept (or even accept and understand) is that the moment that 'flame' lands on one, the whole person is 'ablaze'!!  Too dramatic!  Too charismatic (pun intended!)!

I'd like to see the picture as a spark which triggers.  Now for a spark to trigger off a fire, it has to feed on something.  If the spark lands on a sheet of ice, don't expect fireworks or a furnace!!  But if it does fall on something even remotely inflammable, not necessarily petrol or jet fuel but even something that can catch fire, if not immediately but after a while, then fine one can expect a fire, sooner or later.  Bereft of that basic requirement of 'combustibleness' no spark can launch a fire!  If it did, then there was something else that caught fire, not the 'ice'!

P.S.: Sparks are in galore!

Grace vs Hard work

Anything freely received is not much appreciated.  Neither will it be.  Perhaps it shouldn't be!  A product or something 'earned' which has your sweat mingled, will anytime be more satisfactory than something received, even if grand, but without any effort on my part.

(Now that's for someone whose conscience is still sensitive. For those whose conscience is blunted and hardened such gains without hardwork, toil, sacrifice, sweat and pain will be perfect benefits of life).

Nothing can ever supersede the genuine joy, satisfaction and pride of a hard earned meal!

God's grace flows in abundance in nature, in life... and it is for free.  But if I don't make that minimal effort to make the most of it, I'll be like a golden pot with a large hole at the bottom!

Religious Life and Holiness

This morning we heard a lay man share his views about priesthood and formation to priesthood.  One of the points he was very convinced of was that Priests are holy - more than lay people.  I asked him if his holiness had anything to do with his priesthood?  He was certain it was all about priesthood.

I feel differently.  Holiness is not the monopoly of priesthood or religious life... a fact that all would readily agree.  While most consider - like the above-said gentleman - that it is grace of God that really transforms a person, I am of the opinion that it may not necessarily do so. By doing so I'm not belittling God or His grace... rather I'm endorsing the same.  Because the God whom I believe in is not someone who would automatically work wonders in me, without my awareness, knowledge and most of all, consent.

I someone am convinced that religious life or priesthood is merely a path, just like married life or individual life, to holiness.  Perhaps it offers us greater possibilities of achieving that better and 'faster' but at the same time it also great risks ... with great possibilities come great risks!

Moreover God gives us all - ALL - opportunities; some utilize most of them, some less, perhaps some none.  But He certainly does not have favourites or pets whom he pampers with ready-made graces!  

Blessings come as opportunities

That God does not offer ready-made packages of wisdom or talent or anything for that matter is something that I learnt from a movie: Evan almighty! It is there that I began to realize that when I pray for courage, God does not swell my chest or strengthen my muscles; rather He offers me possibilities, occasions to be courageous. When I pray for love, He does not send some nice goody-goody feeling into my heart; rather He brings people into my life whom I can love and receive love from.

I told the boarders last night the same. God or Mother Mary is pleased with our fervent prayers, especially the ones we are offer privately at their feet in all earnestness. However, do not expect God or Mother Mary to do what you are supposed to do. They offer us chances, possibilities, opportunities to bring to fruition what we ask for. Asking God to help me study is not going to be answered if I squander all the many opportunities that come my way by way of study material, time for study, luxury of facilities for learning... Similarly Mother Mary is not going to score a goal in the football match on my behalf and make my team win... however hard I pray. She rather offers me the chances to learn football all along and the possibility of shooting goals during the game. To ask for help and then totally act indifferent to the opportunities that flood by is an act of foolishness.

Grace isn't free flowing!

I beg to differ from the view that Grace flows!  Flow it does, but not to where I am lazing around in bed!  I need to make that least effort of seeking it.  Take for example all those incidents in the life of Jesus, all those who were cured of their various ailments.  It is true that Jesus cured them. But it is not that Jesus went hunting for them.  He went about and each of them made a valiant effort to place themselves in His path. Some had to stalk Jesus, a few others had to beg and convince Him to heal them.  A few were helped by friends and family.

If Grace was something so free and readily available, as most of us conceive of it, then Jesus would (should) have merely waved His hand and cured them all.  He didn't at all have to leave his carpenter's workshop nor would anyone have to leave their bed!

I suppose this is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer also meant when he spoke of 'cheap grace' and 'costly grace'.

Search for God

Here's a beautiful reflection from the Pope himself in reply to 'Search for God'...

When a person searches for his or herself, they find God. Maybe, they don’t succeed in finding him but they are going along the path of honesty, searching for the truth, for a road of goodness and a road of beauty… they’re on the right road and it’s certain they’ll find God! Sooner or later, they will find him. But the road is a long one and some people don’t find him in their lives. They don’t find him consciously. But they are very true and honest with themselves, very good and lovers of beauty, so that in the end they have a very mature personality, capable of an encounter with God, which is always a grace. Because an encounter with God is a grace.

Coming from Pope Francis, means a lot.  Note: He does not speak of some high end Theology or dole out a list of Biblical verses.  He speaks of humanity, of truth, of goodness... How I wish we, clergy and religious, learn this basic fact and truth of religion and God, before we cause more harm in society, in the name of the one who lived in contrast to our understanding.

Read the whole interview of the Pope with a group of young people from Belgium (Note the number of times he laughs! A beautiful living example of how living one's humanity joyfully radiates divinity!)

Grace vs Freedom/Wisdom

I've heard many a preacher state that God gives us the grace! It is not our choice to get one. It is solely God's gratuitous gift. Well, I'm not talking about the puritanic bent of this concept but the usual and the normal "balanced" perception of 'grace'.

Frankly, I try hard to recollect my theology classes on 'grace' but am yet to succeed!  However, I have a slightly different take on this idea.  I really don't think, God gives me graces! No, not ready-made packages of virtues or gifts.  Certainly not my God!  I believe and love my God who in turn gives me not such gifts but rather gives me the possibility of receiving such graces.... the ability to understand the grace and the skill to cherish it.  In short, He gifts me with freedom to make my own choices... with knowledge to sift the choices and the loving support to cherish the choices I make and the wisdom to know the wrong choices I make.

The duck that drowned

A man once owned a small duckling and one day all of a sudden it drowned! The autopsy report said that the bird lacked a particular kind of oil which a duck's feathers naturally have.  Due to this lack of a natural ingredient, which was quite odd, the feathers soaked in the water and naturally the duck drowned.

Fr Basani Prakash, the retreat preacher, for our Brothers narrated this small anecdote to the Brothers as part of his homily this evening.

Lesson: If we do not develop what is naturally bestowed upon us, we take it to our grave much before time and with no use whatsoever, neither to others nor to ourselves! 

Hurrah!

I always wanted to do this, but never really did it till this day.  Yes! I did it... I didn't check my e-mails for the past one week!!! The only hick is that I did it without intending it!  It was not that I was away, just that I was too caught up with things to be done and I never really found time to check out the mails!  As simple and plain as that... Whew!

I am still wondering how I can got this far (it is just the beginning of the year!)... juggling renovation work of the dormitories, preparing lists and schedules of and for the Brothers, getting the place ready for their arrival, the various initial programmes upon their arrival and to top it all, my own MA exams. Just couldn't ask for more!

Thank God for the graces and gift of everything that you've blessed me with! Couldn't ask for more!

Grace of wisdom

The reading of the day, again from Ecclesiasticus, is all about wisdom.  I remember using this text as the opening prayer and theme for discussion during one of my courses in Karunapuram.  I may as well do that this year too.

He who loves her loves life; those who seek her out win her favour. He who holds her fast inherits glory; wherever he dwells, the LORD bestows blessings. Those who serve her serve the Holy One; those who love her the LORD loves. He who obeys her judges nations; he who hearkens to her dwells in her inmost chambers. If one trusts her, he will possess her; his descendants too will inherit her. She walks with him as a stranger, and at first she puts him to the test; Fear and dread she brings upon him and tries him with her discipline; With her precepts she puts him to the proof, until his heart is fully with her. Then she comes back to bring him happiness and reveal her secrets to him. But if he fails her, she will abandon him and deliver him into the hands of despoilers.

And Fr Maliekal's only line of reflection after the Gospel was the icing on the cake: We are called to seek wisdom and strive for it, but bear in mind that it is not something we 'achieve' through our efforts but something we are graced with!  

God empowers

We, as human beings, always wish God to treat us as babies when in difficulty and as youngsters for the rest of the time.  While the truth is that God treats us neither as helpless babies nor as carefree youngsters. He walks along with us, mature adults, grown up persons well endowed with grace and growth.  So while we wish that He carries us in His bosom, He gives us strength and points out the direction to tread on our own 'God-given' feet.  We expect Him to wash away our sins and make us 'as white as snow' but He gives us opportunities to have our sins forgiven.  God does not do things for us or instead of us, for in doing so He would be insulting Himself.  After all it is He who created us in 'his own image and likeness'. Why should He belittle Himself when He has already blessed us with all things necessary to fight and win the battle.  All that He joyfully does is accompany us, empower us.... not spoon-feed or babysit us!