Move the chair

 

A little help, please

Five-year old Jack was in the kitchen as his mother made supper.  She asked him to go into the store-room (the place where much of the provisions were stored) and get her a can of tomato soup. But li'l Jack didn't want to go in alone there and cried: "It's dark in there and I'm scared, Mamma" 

She asked again, and he persisted in his refusal. Finally she said, "Jack, look… there is nothing to fear in going to that store-room. Jesus will be in there, with you…" 

 The constant request and this assurance made Jack to walk hesitantly to the door and slowly open it. He peeked inside, saw it was dark, got all frightened and started to leave… … when all at once an idea came, and he said: "Jesus, if you're in there, would you, please, hand me that can of tomato soup?!"

The anecdote ends here.

But just to add a twist... Jack does get his request fulfilled and he gets a can of the soup, standing at the door. He is ecstatic. Runs back to the kitchen clutching the can like a trophy. And tells his mum what happened. What would mum have said?

Unwanted pregnancy?

 I've come across the phrase 'unwanted pregnancies' many a time and perhaps it is standard term in vocabulary and linguistics. Nonetheless I prefer we rather use the phrase 'unprepared pregnancy' to refer to the same meaning. Or even 'unintended pregnancy'.

One can't 'want' to have sex and be 'unwant' about one of the natural outcomes of the same. Most importantly, I prefer the proposed change of vocabulary since the former phrase appears derogatory in its reference to a child, who has had no say whatsoever in its own existence. 

Flying kites... with children!

I've realised one thing about flying kites... 

Flying kites all by myself, with the whole terrace free and peaceful is a great joy.  But flying kites with children, that's an adventure!! 

The last couple of days I've been flying kites with a couple of our resident staff and their children... gosh, it is all confusion. Forget about the kites swooping down from up above, of the neighbours, coming down to clash with mine, there are a hundred other kites and threads running all across. While I managed to cut half-a-dozen of the kites in the skies, I lost two (the only two I lost) ... thanks to the kids around me who keep running around with the kites in hand and entangling every bit of thread. 

Then there are some of these whom you have to constantly keep an eye on. Take your eye off them for a millisecond and you'll see them next on a ladder climber higher on the water tank, or trying to reach for the branch of a tree from the parapet of the terrace or scaling the solar panels!!! 

Then there are kids who, while flying one kite, see another cut one flying kilometers away happily leave this kite in hand and run (mind you, we're on the terrace of a building!) to try and catch that cut kite! 

By the time it is dark and we get off the terrace, there are nearly two dozen kites that we need to pick up from the terrace... not one of which will be intact!  Not to say anything of the thread (brought in earlier or gathered from the cut kites)... it is all bundled as if one were rolling a mat after a night cap on the roof! 

Nonetheless, of the two options of flying kites alone or with others, I'd still prefer the latter! 

Wrapped in love

I received this photo from Mum today.  I thought it was the gifts that she received from those at home on the occasion of her b'day.  I recognized the drawing as a gift from my niece because I had deceived her into adding my name to her card.  What I did not expect was that she leaves out her own name from it!  But I'll have to speak to her to know what exactly she meant or had in mind when she put only my name on the card.   

However, looking at the bag in the photo I presumed it would have been a saree or a piece of clothing (as the bag was of a textile shop) gifted by Willy and Roshni.  But I was wrong!  Mum sent a voice message after the photo: "The drawing/card was handed to me in this bag.  The bag was the envelope!"

Kids and puddles

There's something about children and water, especially if it is in the form of a puddle!  Walking to school every morning and it has been raining practically every day, I almost tip-toe to school.  Carefully avoiding the water or even the soggy patches of fallen leaves.  But right beside and before me are students who are literally wading through water.  The only path they see is through the puddle - however dry the rest of the road is.  And if there is a stream of water or a large puddle, that's it!  There has to be a splash, and a wade through.  All this is even before they have reached school.  I wonder how they manage to sit through the lessons with their soaking shoes, socks and trousers! 

But that's children - that's childhood...

Blessing people

While the Rector Major was at Chertsey, he was at the Salesian school, Guildford site on Thursday, in the afternoon.  He was asked to bless the renovated school hall.  All the staff was assembled in the hall, but just a couple of students were in.  The school had wound up earlier. 

There was a short prayer and when called upon to bless, the Rector Major spoke a few words but concluded saying, "I will bless first, you, the people, then the walls!" Not only me, but some others too found that very meaningful.  Blessing people, rather than structures. 

Even at Battersea, during the concluding Mass of his visit to England, several small children who had come for the Mass along with their parents were asked to come forward with the offertory procession.  So after the bread and wine, there was a small motley 'crowd' of 7-9 year olds walking up to the altar and getting behind the altar.  And before blessing the bread and wine, the Rector Major very kindly and taking his own time, blessed those children.  For the children themselves, it must have not meant much.  But for their parents, it was huge!  I think it is such small but very very homely and touching gestures that makes the Battersea parish a very vibrant and active one.  For a child to be specially blessed, by a special visitor, that too during Mass at the altar, means much for a family.  Not sure how the English families felt about it, but the look on the faces of the Asian, African and Latin American families said how blessed they truly felt!  

Are you St Peter?

Fr Peter was assisting at the Year 3 retreat of a local school which was being held in the Church premises.  Of the 50 or so kids he said he recognised some who come to Church on Sundays.  One of these kids, at the end of the retreat, approached Fr Peter and asked him, "Are you St Peter?" 

When Fr Peter narrated this amusing event, I had a good laugh.  Children always come up with something totally unexpected and different.  Later was wondering what would have prompted the child to ask Fr Peter that question.  Perhaps it could have been a simple case of misunderstanding between 'Father' and 'Saint' - after all, both are abbreviated in common use.  But I think it was more to do with what the child had observed.  Fr Peter was the one who opened the Church and the various other places for them to use.  And what was the theme of the retreat?  Kingdom of God and heaven!  Most probably, there would have been some mention of St Peter having the keys to heaven.  And for the child, he must have put two and two together: Peter and keys.  Hence the natural question: "Are you St Peter?" 

Wonder what would have been the next question, if Fr Peter were to have said, "Yes!" 

A blessing lost

Today during Mass - during Communion, to be precise - I witnessed a scene that made me feel sad.  It made me say those words that young John Bosco said of the priests who never replied to a simple greeting: "If I were a priest, I would not do that!" 

The scene was of a small boy (J), aged 6 or 7, approach the priest distributing communion, along with his mother.  I've seen and interacted with this boy and for him his small toy, Teddy, is the best thing in the world.  So every Sunday he brings it along with him to Mass.  Today he surprisingly brought in another toy - appeared like a tiger or a honey bee.  But what he does every time he approaches the priest for a blessing, instead of the Communion, is that he stands there holding his toy high up, for the priest to give it also a blessing!!  I guess his logic is, if I can be blessed, why not bless Teddy too! 

Unfortunately none of the priests so far have obliged him!  And every time his mother has to drag him off the line!  My simple question: What does one lose by giving that toy a gentle tap?  You don't even have to utter a blessing.  Just smile and tap the toy!  J does not want anything else!  He's not asking for his Teddy to be baptised as per the ritual.  Just a blessing!  And even if a priest did bless the toy, will the latter then become the body of Christ?  Or will his priestly power diminish? 

If blessing a toy is going to brighten the day of a little 6-year old, and with him that of his whole family, I'd gladly do it every day! In fact, it is not the boy who lost out on a blessing today, it is we grown ups, especially the clergy, and the Church as a whole, who've lost out on the blessing of a happy child!  

Kids and philosophy

This video is really funny and insightful at the same time... children speaking of philosophical questions (creation, God, death, meaning of life).  The answers of the children show how they perceive things, how they pick up thoughts from the grown-ups, and how they put it all together.  Lovely, especially their thoughts about creation!

Les grands penseurs (The Great Thinkers) from karina garcia on Vimeo.

Directed by Karina Garcia Casanova
Illustrations by James Braithwaite
Animation by Darren Pasemko
Produced by John Christou and Karina Garcia Casanova
Year: 2009

Reading sentence

Came across the following article this morning:  A judge 'sentencing' a bunch of kids with a 'reading list' rather than a normal custodial sentence.

Graffiti punished by reading

The sentence I gave was harsher than what they would normally have received. Normally it would just be probation which would mean checking in with a probation officer once a month and maybe a few hours of community service and writing a letter to say sorry. Here they had to write 12 assignments and a 3,500-word essay on racial hatred and symbols in the context of what they'd done… It was a lot of work. (Alejandra Rueda, the judge, who drew up the list of 35 books). 

Children learn fast.  And depending on what they are taught, they become that!  Teach them to share and care, to value life and respect everyone, they become exactly that.  And teaching does not mean a classroom mode of lecture.  It is about helping them learn and form convictions for life.

And here's a list of the 12 (of the 35) books the teenagers were told to read and write about, one per month:

1. Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe
2. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou
3. The Tortilla Curtain - T C Boyle
4. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. 12 Years a Slave - Solomon Northup
7. The Crucible - Arthur Miller
8. Cry the Beloved Country - Alan Paton
9. My Name is Asher Lev - Chaim Potok
10. Exodus - Leon Uris
11. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
12. Night - Elie Wiesel

Feel a bit guilty and ashamed to state that I've read only 2 of these!  

Involve children in addressing childrens' issues

After many days and many articles and interventions suggested to encounter the growing knife-crime involving teenagers and youngsters in London, I found one article quite sensible and far-sighted in today's The Times (April 3, 2019).

The author Alice Thomson, in her article 'To beat knife crime, listen to the children', advocates involving the children in addressing the issue rather than excluding them altogether, and treating them as mere recipients of a service!

... we can't just blame the police or teachers or the internet giants; what these children really need... is an alternative to gang life that gives them status.

After listing all the possible solutions offered and debated thus far, she adds specific measures involving directly the children rather than teachers, police and the media.  

... the answer is to provide the young with opportunities rather than deterrents and to include them in finding solutions, rather than leaving it to the politicians to squabble.

We need to give them stable structures and purpose, help them at school with entrepreneurial skills that are useful, give them jobs they can do in their teens and be better role models when they don't have family support. 

Most importantly we need to listen to the vulnerable young rather than seeing them all as just an additional out-of-control, dangerous problem to add to our other woes.  

I'm sure Fr TD John and those involved in PAR, me included, will certainly agree with Alice!  

Green mangoes

Children have a totally different perspective of the world than we adults. They see things and the world in a totally different light than most of us. 

In one of my casual conversations with my 5 year old niece I asked her what colour are mangoes.  I only thought of yellow.  She, on the other hand, started with "Green, red and some are yellow!" At first I was prompted to 'correct' her and say mangoes are yellow.  But then I realized she was right.  Mangoes are green and red too!  

A questioning faith

For the first time today, I had the opportunity to gladly counter an argument that faith meant 'not questioning'.  When sharing about faith and merely accepting what is told, I feel that my faith does not call me to be blind.  In fact, I find my faith more meaningful, strong and supportive, when I really question!

Someone said, children question but then easily believe what is being told.  I replied, they do certainly believe, but that does not prevent them for asking questions.  To every reply you offer, there's always a question ready - almost instantly.  However, they do not ask questions to everyone.  They approach people whom they trust... not so much to get the 'right answer' but under all that inquisitiveness is the need to be listened to.

Faith is not about 'not questioning', or 'merely accepting'; it is about trusting the one whom I approach with those questions.  And often, like children, I'm actually not looking for the 'right answer', I'm just looking for someone who will listen - listen with love and care!

You be Jesus

Billy, aged four, and his brother Tommy, aged six, were arguing about who was going to get the first pancake that their grandmother was making at the stove. She took the opportunity to teach them a lesson, telling them that Jesus would let his brother have the first pancake.  Tommy turned to Billy and said, "Ok, Billy, go on then, you be Jesus."

Not just among children, most of us grown ups too have this tendency of 'letting or waiting for others to be Jesus'.  We'd rather not be one ourselves.  Admiring others be Jesus is good enough.  Becoming Jesus oneself is too complicated. 

On the other hand, perhaps we are not called to be Jesus.  Each of us has an identity, distinct from one another, distinct from Jesus.  Our vocation is to live that out to its best.  God calls each one of us, and the best we can do is to respond to him in the most generous and selfless manner.  

Experience!

Honest prayers

Talking with Mummy this evening, she was speaking about the prayers my nephew and niece say before they go to school every morning.  I remember Mummy used to make us also say prayers everyday before going to school.  However, now my Chris and Anet seemed to have a more free hand at the prayers.  So I gather that they add their own intentions too, after the 'routine' prayers. 

Roshni seems to have been hard on Chris one day while following up his homework and so the next day morning, here was Chris' prayer:

Jesus, make Mamma a kind woman!  

Anet, I'm told, has her fervent prayer almost everyday:

Jesus, don't go anywhere.  Stay with me!  

Talking of innocent and honest prayers, am reminded of Hubard, a brother from Guwahati province who was studying at Karunapuram a few years ago.  He was a very simple and joyful youngster.  He also had a very innocent outlook towards life.  Hence at times when we had spontaneous prayers during the night prayer, he would thank or pray for something so 'trivial' that very many of us would smile or laugh ("Thank you for the good chutney we had for supper!" or "Please Lord, send us some rain and I'm finding it hard to concentrate and study in this heat and my vegetable garden is drying up").  But he was serious about his prayer.  And all of us knew him well to know that he was not making fun or being sarcastic.  He was genuinely praying about something close to his heart. 

Wish we all retain that simplicity and honesty in prayer.  

Anet's commandments

Till I come back from school...

• you should not go out anywhere.
• you should not celebrate with anyone.
• you should not cut the cake before I come. 
• no singing at all, till I come home.  

Well, today is Mummy's b'day and those above were my 4 year old niece, Anet's orders before she left for school, this morning!

Happy b'day, Mummy!

Love for a person

Two different takes on the affection one can have for a person, even veneration!  Both from the Biographical Memoirs of the Oratory

Both are in the context of the admiration that boys had for Don Bosco.  Fr Giacomelli testifies

... they loved him dearly and held him in such veneration that all he had to do was express a mere wish to be instantly obeyed.  They avoided also whatever might displease him, but there was not a trace of servile fear in their obedience; it stemmed from their filial affection for him.  Indeed, some boys avoided wrongdoing more out of regard for him than for fear of offending God.  When he would come to know of this, he would reprimand them severely, reminding them that, 'God is much more than Don Bosco!' (BM III, 411) 

The other is a perspective from the boys, recorded by the theologian Piano, who was once a student at the oratory

We still feel the love we felt for you then ... Was it not here at the oratory that the majority of us were fed and clothed when we were destitute? ... This heart of mine will beat no more, before it ceases to love you.  We hold that loving you is to us a symbol of loving God (BM XVIII, 311-312).  

Estranged prayer

Teaching children to pray requires a different approach than leading a grown up person to pray.  Children by nature are spontaneous.  Hence the best way to help them learn to pray and see it as a great means of strength is to let them be spontaneous in their approach to prayer too.  Contrary to this our initial catechesis leads to an estrangement of prayer from real life.  We drag them to Church - where we pray.  Make them learn prayers by rote - something they are not always happy about.  Reprimand them about 'silly' prayers and 'improper' behaviour - very confusing for them to understand when to and when not, for sometimes when they are naughty we cuddle them and at times we scold them.  Slowly they learn that prayer is 'serious' business; done in the Church, away from where real life unfolds (home, playground, with friends...) and not to be trivialized. 

In this process, instead of leading a prayerful life (life immersed in prayer), prayer is neatly cut up from everyday living and 'sanctified' so high that it becomes a 'sacred' rite reserved for special days, special times, special ways.  Normal ordinary everyday life is not to vitiate prayer.