Groundnuts (Part 2)

  Two stories related to groundnuts are famous in the Province. The second story, sometime in the 2000s, at Karunapuram. 

This incident was during the time of Fr Gopu Marreddy as administrator at Karunapuram.  This is narrated and verified by him in person! 

It was his first year as administrator at Karunapuram and there was the place around the football court that was cultivated once or twice before him.  The farmhand reminded Fr Marreddy that it was time to plant something in the garden and when asked what was planted the previous year, the farmhand replied that they had planted groundnuts.  So they decided to cultivate the same.  Fortunately there were some leftover seeds of the previous year and they decided to use them instead of purchasing again.  

The seeds were planted, they sprouted, the community was involved in taking care, additional people were employed to weed and spread manure and fertilizers and finally the crop was ready for harvest. The Brothers did the harvesting and the yield was good and plentiful.  

As a goodwill gesture, the same evening Fr Marreddy sent small portions of the harvest to the neighbouring religious of Karunapuram.  The next day morning when he went to the JMJ convent for Mass, he noticed the Sisters quite amused and jittery! He somehow celebrated the Mass without being able to shake off this feeling.  After Mass when he entered their dining hall for breakfast, the Sisters, in chorus, congratulated him:  "Congratulations dear Fr. We never ever heard or saw this before, but you successfully managed to grow seedless groundnuts!!"  

It turned out that although the harvest appeared good and was plentiful, it was empty inside for most of it!!! Thus began the saga of Fr Marreddy growing 'seedless groundnuts'!  

Groundnuts (Part 1)

 Two stories related to groundnuts are famous in the Province. The older story first. 

In the early years of St Antony's, Kadapa when the Salesians were entrusted with the house and much before the Hyderabad Province was carved out, Fr M. A. Jacob was the Rector and Fr EJ Mathew was the administrator.  So on the particular occasion of the commemoration of the multiplication of the walnuts by Don Bosco at the Oratory during his time, the Salesian houses then distributed groundnuts in India (for walnuts were not available). When it was the day, Fr Jacob reminded Fr EJ to get groundnuts for the Technical school boys. Fr EJ's Telugu was not that good, but somehow communicated to the staff to get the groundnuts. 

When asked how to distribute it, Fr EJ told the staff to fry them.  "But how?" asked the staff. "Mix them up in sand and roast them in a pan," was the instruction given out.  The staff looked puzzled and not sure if that was right.  After much insistence he did it. Before the distribution could begin, he brough out the bowl. Inside it was groundnut powder mixed with sand!!! The staff had understood groundnuts as groundnuts powder!!!  

Unnecessary complications

 As it is we have been having great trouble keeping up with the numerous Income Tax demands and notices that keep coming in every other day.  Added to that there is the constant flux of FCRA norms and rules.  

But the icing on the cake is when we have to explain to confreres how to send out mails: where to find 'reply all', how to log in using the recovery phone, that there is a thing call 'incognito mode', to send out a reply the main first mail using the text received in one of the subsequent mails in the same conversation, where to find 'bcc' or even 'cc' - leave alone explain to them what each stands for and does! 

Today is one of those days, where explaining a simple thing as sending out a multiple reply or logging into a mail account lying dormant for months, was more complicated and taxing than what those mails were about!!

'Head'lines

 Some headlines and the accompanying photos are a hilarious mismatch... 

A little help, please

Five-year old Jack was in the kitchen as his mother made supper.  She asked him to go into the store-room (the place where much of the provisions were stored) and get her a can of tomato soup. But li'l Jack didn't want to go in alone there and cried: "It's dark in there and I'm scared, Mamma" 

She asked again, and he persisted in his refusal. Finally she said, "Jack, look… there is nothing to fear in going to that store-room. Jesus will be in there, with you…" 

 The constant request and this assurance made Jack to walk hesitantly to the door and slowly open it. He peeked inside, saw it was dark, got all frightened and started to leave… … when all at once an idea came, and he said: "Jesus, if you're in there, would you, please, hand me that can of tomato soup?!"

The anecdote ends here.

But just to add a twist... Jack does get his request fulfilled and he gets a can of the soup, standing at the door. He is ecstatic. Runs back to the kitchen clutching the can like a trophy. And tells his mum what happened. What would mum have said?

Lizards around the tabernacle!

 In his sermon today, Santiagu spoke of four ways in which we who claim to be men of God, can turn to be Godless men.  

It was his description of the second stage that amused me most.  He spoke that in the second stage we use God for our survival.  Rather than Him being the centre of our lives, he becomes a tool we use to make a living for ourselves.  

The analogy he offered was the best: lizards around the tabernacle.  Those creatures who practically live around the tabernacle, do so not out of love for the Blessed Sacrament or because they have a personal relationship with Jesus (perhaps they do!), but because that's the easiest place to secure their food.  With the tabernacle lamp glowing day in and day out, insects naturally get attracted to the light and become prey to the lizards. Moreover, most tabernacles are placed in such a way that there is enough space to hide behind or around it.  

Great!  Fits some (or most) of the lives of priests and religious!

Perks or pricks of Freedom

 

From Telangana today... cartoon of the day 

Beyond amusing... birth certificate of cows

 Couldn't but ignore following headline and hence read the news article: 

Show birth certificates of cows...

Now in Bengal, under the new regime, some legislators are demanding birth certificates of cows to be issued, to prove their age!  While livelihood of Bangladeshis and voting rights of muslims are being snatched, the political system is keen to ensure calves are issued birth certificates. Rather than focus on educating and integrating knowledge with values, our political system is out to drag us back to the pre-human era. 

In another news photo that I by chance came across in the morning, some scientists dropped the carcass of a cow into the ocean. Of course, the photo was AI generated.  Luckily, this was in China, not in India, or else, it would have been the most debated and discussed news item of the decade!  

Dubious signage

My instant (and irrational) interpretation of the following signage above the lift, at Cochin airport... 

Go up a man and come down as a woman!

Telling the laity what a priest should do!

 The paradox of this evening's Mass on the occasion of Maundy Thursday was the sermon!  The Priest spent 90% of the time speaking about how a priest should be! What should be a priest's attitude? How should a priest carry out his pastoral ministry? What a priest should do and not do? ... on and on he went! 

And whom was he preaching to? Over 2000 lay people, mostly families with small children.  If at all he were to have preached his one hour sermon turning around facing the four priests who were on the altar, it would have made some sense.  No!! He gave us, non-priests, a full dose on how a priest should be!  

That's called brains! It is akin to berating those present in the Church about those absent! And still we religious want people to attend Church services and pay attention! 

Alarm blues

 Years ago while as students at The Retreat, Yercaud, I had a senior who was weird in every sense of the word and deed. He once borrowed (by force) from another companion an alarm piece. This alarm was a bit of a fancy one with multiple options and what not. 

This senior set the alarm much earlier than the usual rising time and woke up when it rang in the morning. So far so good. But he hadn't bothered to learn how to switch it off! And being in the dormitory of 30 people, most of us cousins of Kumbhakarna who love our sleep, this continuous alarm was a disturbance. This senior first tried to silence the alarm by putting it under the pillow. No chance of the sound not still being a nuisance. Then he put it inside the individual wooden locker. Still no much of a difference. After a few minutes of fellows yelling and shouting to put off the alarm, silence prevailed. 

After breakfast, during morning jobs, the owner of the alarm approached this senior and scolded him because everyone was cursing him thinking it was him who caused nuisance early morning - after all all of us knew him to be the owner of that alarm. The senior too was fed up with a few of his immediate neighbours who gave him a piece of their mind for the confusion in the dormitory. He told this owner, "Go, collect it!" "Collect it? From where?", asked the owner. "From the terrace!" came the reply!!

Some English tips!

 This morning one confrere during the meeting concluded his observation thus: 

One cannot expect everyone to know everything on one's FINGER SPOTS!

This confrere often comes up with such words or phrases, with such confidence, in public, that those who know a little good use of English sometimes begin to doubt their own knowledge!

Doggy conversation

 Sometime in the morning, while scrolling through a news article, I came across this particular teaching asking her students to come up with a creative writing essay about the conversation between two dogs.  I thought it was a brilliant idea evoking and tickling creative energies of children.  I'd love to see what my nephew and niece would come up with, if I were to assign them this task!  

And just as I was calling it a day - or night? - I came across this cartoon! 

A good way to end a rather satisfying day! 

Parking confreres

 I had a good laugh when I came across a statement in a letter written jointly by the Formation councillor and Economer General.  The statement reads 'Rome is not the place to 'park' out of the province for a few year difficult confreres'. 

What an expression!! Park confreres! Very very apt and direct.  Couldn't agree better! 

I remember almost two decades ago when I was in a student community comprising of priests and religious from various congregations, there were a couple of priests who certainly were there purely because their congregations had 'parked' them there!!  No other reason!  Not for studies. Not for their growth.  Not for the mission.  But purely for those back in their own Province or Diocese, to breathe easy for a couple of years... at the cost of that student community!  The only good thing the rest of the community felt because of their presence in our religious house was that the lives of two families (if these two gentlemen were to have got married and had families of their own) were saved! 

I guess that's one of the serious drawbacks of priestly and religious life: when someone is absolutely an unfit - even by his or her own judgement - in the community, province/diocese, anywhere and everywhere, no one can do anything other than bear and bear (the patience to grin is long evaporated!). Neither will the person himself/herself have the moral conscience to walk out; nor can others throw him/her out.  

Pride

A former and famous world heavyweight boxing champ, considered among one of the greatest sportsman of all time was also infamous for bragging, often saying, "I am the greatest!" 

 Once before the take off on an airplane the stewardess reminded this boxer to fasten his seatbelt. "Superman don't need no seatbelt," he told her with pride. 

The stewardess was unwilling to compromise. So she retarded, "Superman don't need no airplane either." 

 The boxer was naturally discomfited in his pride. In shame, he fastened his seatbelt without saying an extra word. 

 Pride can block a person from being open to the views, trends and wavelengths of other people and situations. Even shutting out God from our plans, proposals and journey - under the impression that 'I can do it all'.

Developed India!

 Last month a couple of us were travelling by train and part of the discussion was about the progress the government claims to have made and all that political jargon. 

And at Rajamundry station we got hard evidence of it all... 

Coming around

 The luxury of choice in human life is vast and unimaginable.  We make choices every moment of our life. 

From picking up good looking vegetables, to people we choose to marry; from choosing to sleep an extra hour to deciding to quit a high-paying salary.  Even in moments when we seemingly feel we are not making a choice, for in the very act of not choosing either of the options, we CHOOSE not to act!  Whatever it be, each of those choices, has consequences and impact on our life.  

One amusing statement that I recently came across: You buy good potatoes and reject the bad ones. The bad ones return in your life through samosas, chat, burgers, chips...!

Thunder and lightening

 In our Salesian religious communities, the common community prayer moments are a dynamic in themselves.  Often they inadvertently reflect the level of community relationship and the vibe. 

In most communities, after the initial days of new members joining and the people getting used to one another, fall into sync in a couple of weeks.  The prayers, usually recited in two choirs, have their own rhythm and there is some sort of semblance, in most places.  

Nonetheless, there are some communities where there is always an orchestra on!  The prayer, even though recited, is in two voices!  There is sometimes one or two who are out of sync in their speed, if not in the words themselves.  Either someone recites so fast that by the time one is halfway through the verse, the other has ended the verse.  Or someone is so slow, that no matter how slow you recite, the other will still be slower!  Akin to thunder and lightening - never together, always one after the other! 

Some confreres have no clue or intention of modulating their voice as per the size of the group.  No matter how many in the Chapel, their volume is set. There are a select few who have a peculiar tone of ending the prayer or the verse; and some cartoons like me are more attuned to these handful of individuals and their comical sounds, drawing amusement from paying closer attention to these, than to God himself. 

Then there are those who pray so loudly that the one sitting next to them is the only one who can hear them - not sure if God himself is able to!  Worse is when such individuals make an intercessory prayer. The rest of the community either does not hear what he says or cannot follow what or whom he prayed for.  So invariably there is silence after he has concluded the prayer - unless the one sitting beside him (the only one for whom, something is audible), starts the common response, 'Lord, hear our prayer!'. And someone mockingly does not resist from responding, 'Lord, hear HIS prayer!'

At times, there are those who start a prayer, but in the news-reading mode.  More than a prayer, it is an update on the event or the person; and by the time he has concluded his lengthy prayer, even God would be confused as to what exactly to grant him, as per the request.  

Ronald Menezes SDB

 Today is the death anniversary of Fr Ronald Menezes, a Salesian Priest from Mumbai.  I was in the same community as he in the year 2003 at Matunga.  I was a student then, studying outside the community or the Salesian educational institutions.  

I remember him for his gentle ways of keeping all of us in the community together.  He was a hard worker and expected everyone also to contribute their mite in keeping the works going on smoothly. One of his most striking features was his enthusiasm. He was always optimistic and enthused about life.  That was really contagious.  Be it among the confreres, the school teachers, people who came to the Shrine, or even the boys in the campus. 

He was always present in his rectors office which was in the school building.  Every school day morning, he would be at the entrance of the primary section greeting children and parents - always in his cassock.  He was such a familiar figure among the tiny tots that one day one of them walked up to him and said, 'Your mummy is at the gate!' Ronnie was shocked.  (His parents were long deceased). Looking at his face the boy realised that he didn't believe him. So the little one took Ronnie's hand and dragged him to the entrance.  And whom does Ronnie see there?  A nun, in a habit!  The little one had linked the 'matching clothes' and figured out that the one in the habit would be the mother of the one in a cassock!

I most appreciated his love and care of the boarders.  We then had nearly 60 boys with us in the Matunga boarding.  And he knew each of the boys, their family background and their strengths and weaknesses.  It was he who warmly exhorted us, three Brothers, to visit the homes of the boys during the holidays.  We went grudgingly.  But that one visit to the homes of the boys, made a big difference for our relationship with the boys.  When the boys returned to the boarding, most of them had a totally different outlook towards us.  They saw us Brothers as friends and relatives, who knew their families, their homes, their real living condition.  They didn't have to put on masks because we knew their real condition, and didn't treat them any different or less because of that.  

Ronnie was also very good in relating to people and roping them in to assist in the various works of the boarding or school.  He was keen that we three Brothers meet him every month.  And he was keen that we keep him abreast of our reading material and progress.  I think that was because he himself was an avid reader.  It was evident from his sermons and reflections.  

Anyway, I was blessed to have him as the Rector of the community when I was in Matunga.  And today, I thank God for him, in a special way.  

Feminism redefined!

 One of our priests, Cheru, who is already renown for his mix-ups and confusions, approached another priest and was speaking of someone as a feminist.  The listener, knowing the one in discussion, wondered if there was something about the person in discussion, which he was not aware of. So he continued listening to Cheru.  And Cheru kept using the word 'feminist' and 'feminism' to describe him.  Soon he realised that Cheru had totally misunderstood the meaning of the word 'feminist'. 

What he actually meant was 'womaniser'!!