Going solo

 We often have this tendency of going solo.  We prefer to do things by ourselves. The way 'I' want it. Even amidst a team or a group, it is preferably 'I'.  

In our lives as priests and religious too this tendency is very much to be seen.  However, the extreme of this procedure is when we even exclude God from our purview.  God does not feature in our plans, our projects, our endeavours.  Naturally when God does not find a place, people too do not find a place.  Adversely, if we are willing and happy to make place for God in our plans, and endeavours, involving people - ALL people - will not be too much of a hassle.  It will only be natural and joyful!

When I'm weak, then I'm strong

One of the many Biblical paradoxes: when I am weak, then I am strong. A very good meditation on humility and openness.  The weakness experience here is not oppressive, even though it is meant to be.  The weakness does not prevent one from buckling, even though that is exactly what weakness is all about.  Rather, in those moments of struggle and giving in, we feel strong enough to carry on.  Rather than give in, feel the urge to keep going. 

However for me to really experience that I need to be doing what God wants me to do;  furthermore, not my work, but His work. So it is not me doing His work, it is me sharing in His endeavours.  Therefore the task is not mine alone nor am I totally indifferent about the work ("not my responsibility").  I have the strength because I'm not alone; because he who has entrusted me with a task, is taking the major responsibility and I have only to accompany; because the achievement of result is not my goal, making the best of efforts is. 

The challenge is for me to be humble and open enough to see that I'm not in this alone.  There are others, there are well-wishers, friends, guides, confreres, loved ones... there is God.

Vulnerability and community building

People often say that trust is the bonding factor in a relationship.  In religious life too trust plays a very important role in building communities and lasting bonds.  However,  I also believe that prior to trust it is vulnerability that plays a crucial role.  Not just being vulnerable but recognising and having the courage to acknowledge that vulnerability to those whom I live with.  That indeed is risky and dangerous.  But there are no short cuts to forming real relationships.

Very often we as religious are reluctant to share our vulnerabilities.  No one feels great or is pleased to share one's own weaknesses.  All our achievements and strengths are broadcast but the weaknesses and failures we keep them private.  That is natural.  But in order to gain someone's trust the best way is to share with the person something personal, so that the person feels that the other is not just mouthing good things but sharing something of his or her own self.  What often keeps us from sharing our weaknesses from one another is the fear that the other may use them against me or make them public.  Genuine fears but mostly prejudiced. 

I've seen myself the strength of confreres working together once they have bonded well.  Individually they may not be exceptionally talented or gifted but once they learn to trust each other, we complement one another and the tasks at hand become adventures.  Communities that are willing to sit and share, talk, exchange not just plans and ideas but feelings, emotions and requests for help, have a greater degree of strength and effectiveness in apostolate.  The element of witness is truly inspirational. 

Evolving understanding of 'community'

During the meeting for the revision of the Salesian rector's manual, there was a suggestion that prior to laying down the guidelines for the Salesian Rector, it is necessary to redefine 'community'.  Perhaps if I were in India, I would not have understood or taken this insight too seriously.  Having spent more than 7 months here in the UK and observing the Salesian style of functioning here, I cannot but agree with this suggestion.

When I was in the initial formation, the word 'community' only meant those professed or the 'staff' of the community.  The rest of us were present in the house.  I do not say that we were ill-treated or anything. Absolutely no. But the understanding, even among us boys and youngsters, was that only the professed Salesians or the staff members were 'community'.

Later my understanding of the community grew a bit wider, especially during my work in Kondadaba, wherein all those in the house, even the non-Salesian Brothers were part of the 'community'. Even those who worked in the seminary, the 7 support staff, I counted them in as members of the 'community'.

Living here in the UK, I sense my own understanding of the word 'community' has grown to be more inclusive.  That's primarily because, the work of the Salesian charism is not carried out only by the professed Salesians.  It is equally and at times, even mostly carried out by non-professed members in the society.   I'm beginning to see the worth and the quality of partnership we professed Salesians have with the non-professed.

How I wish this level of collaboration and understanding was real even in India.  Most certainly, we would hear the 'no personnel' antiphon less often.  Much more could be achieved by way of outreach and professed Salesians would thereby focus their energy and resources on priorities and not doing everything all by ourselves.  But alas, I guess we are not very good learners!  It may not be till numbers drastically reduce that we begin to see the worth and need of genuine partnership with the laity.  Perhaps only then we will realise that we are not the sole inheritors of the Salesian legacy. 

The spectrawide Salesian community

Listening and getting a vibe of the various experiences of confreres from around the world, and most importantly having lived in a typical European Salesian community, I'm getting a feel of the spectra-wide diversity of the word 'Salesian community'.

Back in India, Salesian community meant all the confreres living and working together in a particular place.  Those 'attached communities' would always be taunted for being 'away'!  Someone working 'outside' the community, meaning in an activity wherein not the whole community is involved, is always frowned upon.

The situation of Great Britain and that of North America is more or less similar.  Salesians working individually in different parts of the city/town, sometimes in structures that are not of the Salesians at all.  Even if the institution they work in is a Salesian, the Salesians themselves have no real say in its administration!  Then there is the whole gamut of other possible 'communities' in Argentina, Germany, Ecuador where there is no Salesian at all.  Neither is it 'attached' to any Salesian community.  The Provincial is directly in-charge!!

What brings us to take cognizance of this situation is the work we are presently at: revision of the Rector's manual.  As it is there are numerous troubles with the concept of the rector of the 'traditional' (all in one place) communities.  Add to that the emerging scenario of Salesians working individually, in different places, sometimes in places not even owned by Salesians.

How does one draw up a manual for the Rector in such diverse contexts?  If it is too generic, it does not serve the purpose.  It cannot be specific because the contexts and situations are not homogeneous. 

Convincing witness

Reflection for April 23

“My Lord and my God!”

Thomas is often referred to as the 'doubting Thomas'. That's because he refused to believe until he personally saw the risen Jesus. While this incident does say much about the conviction level of Thomas, it also speaks much about the convincing level of the remaining apostles. After all, Thomas spent three years in the company of these men. He ought to have learned to trust and respect them, as companions. But even after all those adventures they had together, the witness of the remaining apostles was not enough to convince Thomas.

More than being like Thomas, who had the guts to openly acknowledge his doubts and seek confirmation for what he was asked to believe in, we are like the remaining apostles. Firm in belief, but hardly convincing enough for those who know us, even those close to us. Of course, there are some who do not bother to notice or blindly refuse, just for the heck of it. But not always can the blame be labelled on others.

Thomas' declaration and transformation led him to travel across the globe and even to martyrdom in India, as a testament of his undying love for Jesus. This Divine Mercy Sunday offers us a good challenge to ask ourselves as to how deep is our faith and how genuine a witness are we to the risen Lord.

Aspiration and ambition

Have been working on a paper trying to prove that addictions are more than just strong desires.  As part of the reading came across this particular difference.  (will cite the source when I remember!)

Aspiration is when we hope for a better tomorrow and use all our time, talent and resources to achieve it. It is about making life better. Most scientific discoveries that have benefited humankind are all results of aspiration. Ambition, on the other hand, is when we hope not only to be better than ourselves, but to be better than all others.

I came across this text in Harini Calamu's blog POV. Read the interesting text here.  In her blog post, the author cites the reasons for BJP coming to power.  She rightly proves what most know: The weakness of Congress and other parties is BJP's greatest strength! 

On size and Unity

Two lovely thoughts (African proverbs), sent across by a good friend...

The political

Am reading an interesting text by Carl Schmitt titled, 'The concept of the political' wherein he discusses what it means to be 'political'.  He basically asserts that human being is basically a political being. If one decides to stay alone, then fine...in that case, he is not political.  But then he stands all alone!  On the other hand, the human being is associated with other dimensions of reality and be part of those dimensions too, but in each and every dimension, it is in his decision making that the political comes to the fore.

Even a religious group is political - besides being involved in 'party politics'.

A religious community, a church, can exhort a member to die for his belief and become a martyr, but only for the salvation of his own soul, not for the religious community in its quality as an earthly power; otherwise it assumes a political dimension (Schmitt, 'The concept of the political' 2007, p. 48).

Schmitt's 'political' observations are quite interesting and very insightful.  That he was a staunch member of the Nazi party, does not diminish in any way, some of the concepts and theories he proposes.  I found his ideas on humanity very appealing.  

Solo Salesians

During our Spiritual reading the other day, there was this phrase 'Solo Salesians' which was condemned, in the light of our communitarian apostolate.

Well, if I were back in India, I would have perfectly agreed with it and seen the point. However, my experience here in the UK has been otherwise.  Well, let me not speak of somebody's experience or even a collective apostolate.  From what I have picked up over the years of Salesian life, I understand the community is basically the bonding and the witness. This is our primary mission. Not the activity that we do.  The latter is only an outcome of the former.  Of course, very often that activity is the only  existing and visible thing. Anyway, coming back to the point, if bonding and witness is the primary mission as a community, there ought to be members in the community AND there ought to be someone to whom we appear.  Now the first part of bonding, I see and agree.  No point being together but not knowing one another or even being concerned for one another.

The second half of the community dimension: witness. What if nobody really sees the community?  Honestly, in a place like where I presently live, each one works in a totally different place, totally disconnected from the other.  One in a college (not our own), the other in a Parish (that's ours) and another in a school (which is ours but not ours!).  Now the responsibility of each is such that we cannot have a rota wherein one can substitute the other (once in a way maybe, but certainly not for long).  Like someone asked at table the other day, "Do you have a rota chart for Mass at the Parish?" to which the Parish Priest replied, "We have! But it has only my name on it!" Now, I'm also willing to concede that there are possibilities of a community rotation - but very very limited and far stretched. So back to the question: whom do people get to see and experience? The "Solo Salesian"!

There are 8 houses in the block where I live and I haven't even seen anyone, leave alone speak to anyone at all... and it is two months since I have been here. The case is no better for those who have lived here for 4 years!! So where are those who see us?

What about the community dimension?  Honestly there is really no scope - not much though.  If tomorrow the community decides that we either 'give witness' together or not at all, then all us may end up being just in our own place. Nowhere to go, nothing to do!  Perfect setting for a cloistered monastery!  Call my view, biased, but there are hardly those who 'need' us!  Even those who do need our services would not like to be helped!  So we cannot spontaneously extend help, all we can do is offer and wait for them to accept and only then be involved. Anything before that is breach of privacy... and can do more harm than any good intended.

I understand that this is a really different and difficult challenge for the West. Fortunately or unfortunately India has not reached this stage of 'independence'.  Not that it has no issues (gosh!). But this does take toll on us as religious.  Perhaps this is the cultural shock that people always keep talking about(?). 

Water blues and Property issues

For the past two days we have some 60 guests staying with us in the Provincial house. They are members of some prayer group gathered for prayer.  However, besides what they do for most of the day, invariably in the evenings and mornings our electricity circuit starts acting funny. That's because the guests have equipped themselves with immersion rods and very many of them are using it in their rooms - besides the already installed geysers at the end of each corridor.  When we have our own Salesian meetings this problem does not arise. Each one collects the hot water - those who want - from the end of the corridor.  But I guess used to living in independent houses, the guest-families tend to see their room as the world.  So each one wants to 'generate' hot water in the room itself and in the process deprive everyone, including themselves, of electricity itself!

Reminds me of Adam Smith - I'm not very sure if he's the one who said it though - differentiating private property and common property.  The water in the well is common property, but when I draw a bucket of water from the same well, that water in the bucket is 'my' water!  Now let me take it a notch up further: but when each one, rather than go to the well and draw out water, drills a 1000 ft borewell in one's own compound then that's greed - not sure if there's water even at that depth!  Very soon the day will come when every household will proudly boast of a borewell in their compound but mourn the fact that they do not have water!

There is enough for everyone's need but not for any one's greed. (Gandhiji)

The image is the cover page of a book written by Susan George

Each particular vocation - a reminder to all

Here's another insight that I gained from the document on Consecrated life and the Salesian Brother... each vocation is a call to do something which all are called to do, but more specifically serve as a living reminder. Not that only those who choose that particular vocation are to do that kind of service or help but most importantly they are to help others do it, and how? By being exemplary models.

Not only are the states of life related and ordered to one another, but each of them also highlights and embodies a quality that belongs to all.  There is, within the church, a peculiar relationship between the particular and the universal.  The specific characteristic of the deacon, for example, is service; but the whole church is called to serve, so the deacon is best understood as an icon of service - a reminder to everyone in the church of our call to serve.  Within a church that is communion, the particular exists for the sake of the universal.  Abraham and Israel are chosen and beloved, but precisely so as to become a blessing for the nations. Each state of life in the church is a sign to the others.  

Do not seek to be merciful… do not allow Participation

Reflections on the Year of Mercy (7)
(courtesy: Fr T.D. John)

Do not seek to be merciful… Do not allow Participation in decision making 

Involving people in decision making is a waste of time. It is very messy too. When there is strong authority there will be unity of direction and rapid growth. Remember the emergency days! What do children and people know.

During this year of mercy I will take all the decisions. Each time I will tell the people that I am doing it to save them trouble. I tell them that I know what is best for them.

Statutory Warning: When people participate they will be satisfied and collaborate more.

Mockery of communion

I've always had an allergy for people's craze for food.  By now I've realized that very many in south India have this notion that serving food on a special occasion is one of the best means of doing good.  I totally disagree!  When there is the parish feast, everyone is served a meal... lavish arrangements are made and all and sundry are fed that one day.  Huge amounts are spent for this alone.  What's surprising is that very many who can comfortably afford and have a great meal at home, do not mind eating on this particular occasion.  Mind you, it isn't about eating like a 'family' or anything.  There is only 'eating'!!  I fear we have reached a point where we invite people to a celebration, especially parish feasts, and people come not for the communion (and I do mean the Holy Eucharistic communion alone), but merely for the food after the Mass.  And how does this event unfold?  Everyone rushes for food, as though they have been starving for ages (most fear coming later or giving preference for others would mean running the risk of not getting food later); Children are sent at 'courier boys' to fetch as much as can be carried home (great way of teaching children good manners!);  seating is always as per "my" people, none try to mingle with everyone or those from other families or strangers;  there is nothing of sharing or sacrificing, each one is up to grab as much as possible and woe to the Parish Priest and those serving food, if food runs short (that's announced and proclaimed for ages as the worst feast ever... naturally, every Parish Priest would like to 'outdo' his predecessors by providing more and 'better' food);  finally, the whole place is so littered with plates, paper/plastic cups and food (yeah, food!) that it would put Genghis Khan (and his battlefield) to shame.

High time the clergy first gets its priorities right and then helps everyone in the Parish realize this mediocrity of reducing a feast to a eating gala.  

Restructuring... but why?

Am just back from a rather dreadful preparatory phase of the Provincial chapter.  So far I thought I had attended the worst Chapter already... I guess, I was wrong.  The "best" is yet to come!!

One of the final points that was initiated was that of restructuring our presences.  There was quite a bit of explanation about what we would be doing and how we would go about doing this "restructuring".  However, not once did anyone at all as, Why?  Why restructure at all?  Naturally the next question of on what basis do we restructure? or what is the criteria for remodelling our communities? did not arise at all.  It was quite surprising for me to see, that without answering these questions or atleast attempting these, we have already decided to restructure!!

So much for growth and planned development!

Living OUR lives

While thinking of my views and opinions about others, especially those in the community, I remembered reading something in the book The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho:

When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming a part of that person's life.  And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry.  Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.  

This is very true of us religious living in a community, especially the last bit of insight.  But then I asked myself, how do married people live? Say, my parents or my brother's family?  They share their life with the same person till the end of their lives.  We religious at least have our annual transfers! The key, not to solve the issue, but to understand one another better is, communication... an open and sincere sharing of views wherein I talk as well as am willing to listen.  Lacking in which I only keep creating an ideal confrere while the real confrere is not really listened to. 

To walk is an art...

In what is turning out to be a real simple lifestyle lived rather than theological dogmas doled out, the new Pope Francis, is truly endearing himself to me, more and more! As I read his sermons, talks, informal conversations and spontaneous discussions with different group of peoples, I am truly inspired.  I guess, his lifestyle speaks much much more than anything. His words only compliment and add to that! And I, for sure, am listening ... and learning! Here's what I read today...

We need to be magnanimous, with bid hearts and without fear. Always bet on great ideals. But also magnanimity in small things and daily things... Magnanimity means walking with Jesus, attentive to that which Jesus tells us. 

(part of his spontaneous discussion with school children. Earlier, he put aside his prepared speech, saying "A little boring!")

When a student doubting his faith asked for words of encouragement, he likened the faith to a long walk.

To walk is an art.  To walk is the art of looking at the horizon, thinking about where I want to go but also enduring the fatigue. And many times, the walk is difficult, it is not easy… There is darkness… even days of failure… one falls… But always think this: do not be afraid of failure. Do not be afraid of falling. In the art of walking, what is important is not avoiding the fall but not remaining fallen. Get up quickly, continue on, and go. … But it is also terrible to walk alone, terrible and boring. Walking in community with friends, with those who love us, this helps us and helps us get to the end.

Demystifying 'community'

On February 12, 2013 The Hindu carried an interesting article by Sanjay Srivastava on it Op-Ed page, titled "Pathology of the hurt sentiment".  It shed some interesting light and presented some refreshing facts about community and feelings. As I read the article then, something struck me but I couldn't figure out what.  So I preserved that page and it has been rolling on my table (which is often clean of any papers except my planner) since then.  I picked it up again today and it occurred to me that perhaps there is some lesson for me about our Salesian or religious community in this article. So here are the excepts that led me to this insight:

A community is not a monolithic object and not all members of a community enjoy equal rights and privileges.  In fact, very frequently, the idea of not hurting public sentiments only serves to mask the fact that it is the attitudes of the most privileged that are being protected from criticism.  There are, actually, not only communities, but also individuals with different interests, and relationship to power and privilege.  

A note about the past, history... tradition:

When public commentators are urged not to hurt public sentiments, it is an an implicit plea to allow past practices and beliefs to dictate contemporary life. 

Continual glorification of the past is, in fact, a frequent indicator of contemporary cultural nervousness. 

Demands for respecting public sentiments are not only premised on the idea that there is a homogenous public out there, but that sentiments and beliefs are themselves unchanging.  Further, that the slightest questioning of an established way of thinking will lead to civilizational chaos, disharmony and social disarray. 

The idea of 'community' is, in the final analysis, both an objective reality as well as fiction.  For, we might, for instance, pray in a similar manner to many others (and the act forms an actual religious community), but to think that all members of a community must continue to believe in ideas that might have been prevalent a hundred years ago is to present a fairytale version of what community life should be about.  

Some bells about radical life of witness, community life, upholding tradition, preserving our heritage, identity, and the upcoming Salesian Brothers' Congress are ringing in my ears! 

Bread & fish vs Bread & wine

One interesting fact pointed out by the author, Richard Rohr in his book Jesus' Plan for a New World, is the overshadowing of the 'bread and fish' tradition by the 'bread and wine' tradition.

According to Rohr, the bread and fish meal stood for surplus (everytime Jesus multiplied bread and fish or there was fish involved, there always was a surplus of it, even after a mass consumption).  Secondly such meals involved the poor and hungry, not those already fulfilled, those who really came for Him and did not think of food and drink and all that - for such as these, He multiplied bread and fish. Thirdly, this meal was always an open meal - out in the open, under the blue sky, in the open fields, along the sea shore (I don't remember all the Biblical references, but I know there are).  Everyone was welcome - everyone!  Not just a select few or privileged ones.  Given these factors, I wonder how this was superseded by the one-time 'bread and wine' meal.  Of course, the bread and wine meal has a personal touch - Jesus says it is HIS body and blood that He is sharing.  Perhaps a combination of all these positive aspects would help us get a better picture of the 'Eucharist'.

And here's what Rohr has to say about the two meals:

The bread and wine tradition lent itself more to cult and ritualization. The bread and fish tradition, if retained, might have contributed to issues of justice, community and social reordering.  

Well, he has a point there. 

Milking the community

Yesterday I had a call from one of the confreres who is serving as Principal and administrator in a particular house.  He was narrating how the domestic helpers were trying to bluff him. Here are the instances...

The cow which was regularly yielding about 6 litres of milk suddenly began giving only two litres. When asked how come, this sudden reduction, the reply was: "It looks like the cow has realised we are running short on fodder and today is the last bit of it." 

Even those two litres never made it to the table.  There appeared only one litre!  When asked, the cook replied, "Well, milk evaporates when heated!"