Generosity

Two essential traits of a Salesian: joy and generosity. Talking to the young Salesians the other day, I told them that it is against these two virtues that they can gauge the authenticity of their vocation. Because these two qualities are purely my own decisions. They are not dependent on someone else or something else. No matter what others say or do, I can choose to be joyful and generous with myself, FOR OTHERS. 

The case of St Mathias, the saint of the day, is a typical example. He was elected into the group of the apostles, purely on his merit of being close to the mission of Christ. Neither before nor after his election would he have changed! I’m sure it would be the same of Justus too, Mathias’ contemporary who too was considered as a possible replacement of Judas. The fact that he did not get elected would certainly not have deterred him from being and doing the good he was already engaged in. 

This is what I call personal commitment to being joyful and generous when it comes to our purpose in life.

Making others feel at home

 A couple of days ago the readings of the Mass spoke of the only widow who was helped in Israel; then the only leper who was healed on the Jewish soil, and that too him being a Syrian, a non-Jew. The Gospel of the same day speaks of Mary as the chosen one to be the mother of the Messiah. 

What was special about the widow of Zarephath who was helped by Elijah?  What earned her a miraculous supply of food till the next harvest?  Her generosity towards a stranger. In spite of being hungry and well aware that sharing the only morsel of food she had, would result in the early starvation of her son and herself, she chose to offer the last morsel of food to a total stranger. She sacrificed.  She shared.  That too for a stranger. 

What was different about Naaman, the leper, that resulted in him being the only person to be healed by the Jewish prophet? He was open to the advice of everyone. He listened.  He listened to the advice of a slave girl who recommended that she visit the Jewish prophet to get rid of his leprosy.  He listened to his servants when in a rage he wanted to return from the doorstep of the prophet's house.  In spite of him being the army commander, he was open to kind words of others.  

Most importantly, even his servants felt comfortable to share with him their views.  They did not feel frightened or scared of him.  They respected him and hence wished him good.  This would have been  possible only because he was genuinely good to them!  

Generosity

This story is told that one day a beggar by the roadside asked for alms from Alexander the Great, as he passed by. The man was poor and wretched and had no claim upon the ruler no right even to lift a solicitous hand. Yet the Emperor threw him several gold coins. 

A courtier was astonished at his generosity and commented: “Sir, copper coins would adequately meet a beggar’s need. Why give him gold?” 

Alexander responded in royal fashion: “Copper coins would suit the beggar’s need but gold coins suit Alexander’s giving.” 

Generosity is not just about fulfilling needs it is a reflection of our character and our inner goodness!

A cheerful giver

 The saint whose name we heard most while at home as kids, was that of St Lawrence.  That's because both Mum and Dad hailed from Karkala, the place of the famous shrine of St Lawrence.  Besides, Papa was a great devotee of him.  

We grew up hearing different stories and hymns of St Lawrence.  So much so, my younger brother's middle name is Lawrence.  

It is said that St Lawrence when he realised that he would be the next to be taken into custody and face persecution, decided to give away the wealth of the Church to the people!  As a deacon he was the treasurer of the property and rather than let it be added to the wealth of the emperor, he decided to give it all to the poor and needy of the place!  

And then there is the famous line he uttered while being grilled! "This side is done, now turn me over!" Humour and charity.  Those were the two great virtues of St Lawrence.  Both of which were fed by a genuine love of Christ.  

The generous widow

Elijah is told to meet the widow in Zarephath and he goes.  He finds the widow picking twigs to prepare the last morsel of food she has for her son and herself.  And Elijah tells her to first prepare something for him.  Sincerely doubt if it was Elijah's own desire for food to ask of her bread, that too from someone who is so poor!  

No sensible woman in the right state of mind would do that: offer the last morsel of food that she is left with for her child and herself to a total stranger.  Yet she does this.  She shares the last morsel of food with this complete stranger merely because he asks her.  

The story can be about Elijah who moves to that place merely on the Lord's command.  At the same time it is very much of that widow who is generous enough to share the least she has with someone in need.  There are so many such men and women who selflessly share their gifts, resources and even their own lives for the sake of others... hope the Lord never empties their bowl and jug too!  

Generous sharing

One the foremost community characteristics of the early Christian community was the sharing aspect of its individual members.  They really took care of those in need.  Those with plenty or enough to spare did not mind putting their excess at the disposal of the elders to be given away to those who really haven't much or anything at all. 

This generosity does not necessarily and merely stem from a sense of pity or abundance.  At the root of this generous sharing is the sense of unity, of oneness and equality.  Those with plenty did not feel bad about giving away something and those with little did not hesitate to come forward and appeal for help.  Everyone, rich and poor, haves and have-nots felt at home with one another.  That being at home with one another was the Church! 

Moreover it was basically this community dimension that appealed most to the believers of other faiths.  The joy and serenity that they noticed among the Christians made them wonder what is it that they had going on among them.  How is it that this group of people could feel happy about giving away - generously - what was legally and rightfully theirs?  Why was there this feeling of 'being-at-home'? 

If it was this community sharing and concern that brought the people together, it was the Gospel message that strengthened the bond and deepened it, complementing charity with divinity. 

Generosity

Fr Sean narrated a story he heard from someone in Bootle sometime ago.  A small boy who loved cars once happened to see a large car roll up on the street he lived.  He ran out to admire it.  He saw a man get off it and excitedly asked, "Is that your car?" "Sure, it is," replied the man.  "It must be very costly!" stated the boy, to which the man replied, "I got it for free!"  The boy could not believe he ears.  "For free?  How come?" asked the boy. "My brother gave it to me," said the man.  The boy longingly looked at the car and said, "I wish..." 

Fr Sean paused at this point and asked us, "What would you have said if you were that little boy?"  At least my mind completed the boy's sentence thus: I wish I had a brother like that!  Fr Sean continued and said, the boy actually said, "I wish, I was that brother!" 

There is more joy in giving than in receiving.  

She put in two pence

In the gospel there is the instance where the poor old widow puts in two pence and Jesus cites her as the one who gave the most.

It now strikes me that there is a very strange affinity with what I'm researching: human meanings (those felt by us) and life meanings (those labelled).  In the instance of the old widow, she put in the least, in comparison with the others.  But she was most generous, again in comparison to others.  Or it could also be said that she contributed the most, again in simple logical mathematical ratio comparison.  Two different standards: in comparison to others and in comparison to mathematical ratio. Two contradictory results.

If speaking in terms of quantity and quality, then quantity wise she contributed practically nothing.  But qualitatively she contributed everything.  But again, quantity is in terms of cash; quality is in terms of generosity.

Two different standards of measurement and the resulting two conclusions can either be treated as contradictory or complementary.  Viewed from either side, the result of the other perspective is contradictory (even if we don't call it 'false'). But if viewed holistically. both the views are valid and compatible with one another - none truer than the other.

Only when we introduce criteria external to the woman and her action, be it either Jesus or the rich men and their subsequent critique of her and her action, do comparative words like 'little', 'much'... and all the other vocabulary flow in.  She put in two pence! 

Generous and abundant

Fr Peter arrived at Chertsey on Tuesday evening, after a fortnight at home in Slovakia.  I picked him up at the airport.  When we reached home from the airport he wanted to put some things he brought from home in the fridge.  As I helped him I noticed, half his suitcase was filled with snacks - varieties of them, in abundance!  And he generously unloaded it all in the kitchen. The last time he returned from home, it was the same.

That's typical of people from the rural areas, especially a mother - generous and in abundance!  Most of those from the urban areas don't sufficiently understand and appreciate this gesture.  All that hard work, forethought, and love, especially for people she has never met, seen or known... She knows that her son will never manage to eat all of that stuff, all by himself, even if he gorged on them alone for a month!  It is her generosity and love, not just for her son but for all those whom the son loves.  

We did, but you didn't...

We played the music but you didn't dance. We sang the dirges but you did not weep.  We did so much for you but you said nothing!  We gave you all this but you did nothing with it all. 

The pride of being the one giving, the one doing, the one bestowing... it can actually cancel all merit.  In some cases it may backfire as well.  Perhaps the one you were playing music for was deaf and did not really know what you were doing.  Perhaps the one you sang the dirges to, was returning home after a very glorious and joyful day.  Perhaps the one you did so much for, needed something totally different than all the great things you did, something trivial that you did not consider as required by him.  Perhaps the one you gave so much of material things after all needed just a few minutes of your time daily.  Of course, there is the question of holding the other accountable to what he or she has been blessed with.  But should I be the one to whom they should be accountable to? 

Charity does take a big toll on the one engaging in it.  It demands more than being generous.  It demands being able to give without asking anything in return.  It involves not claiming ourselves to be the 'saviour' - not with the ones being helped out, not to others, not even within/for ourselves.  Most of all, it involves genuinely being concerned for the other - it involves love.  

Of Divine providence and play

Initially when I joined the Salesians I was surprised to hear from the elderly Salesians that most of our benefactors were actually poor people - some much poorer than us Salesians whom they were helping!!  Only then the gospel of the widow putting in her two pence, her entire earnings, made profound meaning to me. 

The readings of the day from the book of the Kings, about Elijah the prophet and the widow, offer a similar insight.   Elijah is told by Yahweh that he has instructed a widow to cater to his food.  And who is this widow? A wealthy aristocrat? Not at all!  She is so poor that she has only one meal left and on the brink of starvation!  Yet she agrees to share the food, the only food she has, all that she has, with a total stranger. 

God continues to play tricks: initially by designating her to share her only meal with a stranger and then by never letting her jar of flour and jug of oil go empty!  And what's Elijay doing?  What he is designated to do!

Theological parable

Here's another of Fr Jose Louis Plascencia's reflection:
The reflection is based on the gospel parable of the poor widow putting in her only two pence in the collection box (Lk. 21: 1-4). 

... all of them contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on. 

In an ordinary sense it offers a very powerful ethical and moral lesson to trust God completely. A great moral motivator indeed. 

However, it one day struck Fr Jose that it could also be read as a remarkable theological parable!  Is the God of Jesus Christ like one of those rich people who "contributed much" but out of their abundance, or is he not rather like the poor widow who gave everything for our sake, all that was dearest to him, his only Son? 

The stranger

The first reading of the day, wherein a lady not only offers hospitality to the prophet Elisha but eventually makes room for him in her house, stands in stark contrast to the situation in the West today.  In the light of the immigration crisis there is a sizeable population in the 'developed countries' who do not want 'foreigners' in the land, except when they bring in revenue.  If they arrive as dependents, then they are not welcome!

Take for instance, Australia.  It takes in approximately 13,000 immigrants every year.  Given the size of the country and its terrain, even if that number were tripled it would still be able to accommodate them all. But it would not!  Well even I am not for immigration.  But for different reasons.  Why should a person be forced to move out of his own place, his home, his land?  Only wanderers love roaming around.  For most, we human beings like to get back home at the end of the day... even if that day is stretched to months or years.  So rather than 'rehabilitate', help make their homes and countries a safe place where they can continue to live.  They may not have the luxury and the comfort of another nation, but what greater place on earth than 'home'.

While hosting nations and citizens have genuine concerns about those coming into their country.  Some of them are worth discussing and do cause inconvenience to all involved.  However, most of the reasons cited by those against 'non-natives' are based on undue fear and heightened selfishness of a few.  The gospel of the day is then a challenge to each one of us to move out of ourselves, to risk, to be generous and see the world as more and beyond oneself.

Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and whoever receives a righteous man because he is righteous will receive a righteous man's reward. And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because he is a disciple--amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward. 

The true miracle

Reflection for April 28 (Multiplication of the loaves)

An alternative interpretation of this text of the multiplication of the loaves and fish suggests that the real miracle was not of 'creating' bread and fish, but of 'opening' the hearts and minds of all those gathered to share the little they had. So the miracle is more about sharing than creating.

Everyone gathered from afar would certainly have had something to eat. However, it would have been only for themselves. If a small boy could have so much (five loaves and 2 fish) how much more would each adult have! The miracle begins when that small boy generously comes forward to share what he had. All that Jesus does is opens the hearts of each one to share with others whatever they had. The result: not only is there enough for everyone, there is also much leftover.

In our world today there is enough for everyone to eat, drink and grow healthy, fit and strong. However, it is most often the greed of a few that causes starvation and deprivation. Jesus is always with us. We only need to open our hearts in generosity with the little we have to those around us, He will do the rest.

Love as self-giving

Reflection for April 26

“For God so loved the world...”

The book The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall, speaks of different types of gifts one can offer to others: of work, of friends, of learning, of time, of dreams, and finally of oneself. To give someone several material gifts but keep oneself reserved or away does not really make the other happy and even renders those given gifts meaningless. What truly matters is not the gift as such but the involvement of the one giving that gift.

We human beings are relational beings. However much we may possess, we still crave for the warmth of human love and fellowship. God understands this need of ours and gives us the best, the ultimate gift: of Himself.

All talk of love is empty and meaningless unless it involves a self-less giving of oneself. God shares with us not merely His thoughts, His plans for us, the material gifts we are blessed with but also His own Son and the Spirit – not to forget His other sons and daughters, whom we encounter day in and day out.

Novena to Don Bosco: Generosity

Novena to Don Bosco

(Remembering DON BOSCO and the significant people who shaped his life and works) 

Day 6: Benefactors 

(The bloodline of the Oratory) 

GENEROSITY 

Don Bosco, ever remained grateful to all those who contributed to his vast and noble work for the poor boys and the Church. He would personally take care to correspond, wish and pray for his benefactors. There were from all walks of life: kings, ministers, businessmen, farmers, past-pupils, friends, and even his own boys.

His own mother, Mamma Margaret and the mothers of some Salesians, generously offered their time, talent, energy and resources for the oratory.

They are the long hands of God Himself. 

That's the title he would give to his benefactors – all those who contributed generously, in whatever way they could towards the mission of Don Bosco. 

If we have nothing, we can give nothing; but if we have a little, let's give a little. If we have much, let's give accordingly. In all cases, let charity be our guide, for ultimately it will be to our advantage. 

Words of Don Bosco while giving some monetary help to those who came to him, while he himself had nothing much in his account.
(Click here to download the pdf file for display)

God provides

Came across the following short story on I'm so blessed daily:
A very poor woman with a small family called in to a radio station asking for help from God. A non-believer who was listening to this radio programme decided to make fun of the woman. He got her address, called his secretary and ordered her to buy a large amount of food stuff and take it to the woman. However, he sent it with the following instruction, "When the woman asks who sent the food, tell her that it's from the devil."

It was late afternoon when the secretary arrived at the woman's house, bringing all the stuff. The woman was so happy and grateful for the help that had been received. "Don't you want to know who sent the food?", the secretary asked. The woman replied, "No, just saying 'thanks' to whoever sent these.  I don't care who the person is because I know, when God orders, even the devil obeys!" 

The Coco-cola Girl

The other day as I left DBSM, Bengaluru I was at the portico (under construction) making a couple of calls.  At a little distance was a little girl there trying to open a coco-cola tin.  I realised she was using her thumb to press in the lid.  Just as I began to tell her to pull up the ring rather than press it in, she forced her thumb into the can!  In the process she injured her thumb and looking up at me she smiled.  She then began to suck her thumb. After a couple of minutes I looked up from my 'phone-world' to see if the girl was feeling better about her thumb, she generously offered the coco-cola can, saying, "Let's share!"  Honestly I was very touched. But since I do not drink soft drinks, I politely declined, stating that I do not have a habit of drinking soft drinks.  She was quite surprised and then solemnly declared, "आदत डाल लेनी चाहीऐ !" (You should form that habit!) This time it was my turn to smile!!

Two things, perhaps contrary nonetheless very revealing: the generosity of the child (retention of innocence) and the conviction that coco-cola is a healthy habit (immersion in modern culture).

Do not seek to be merciful... be a narcissist

Reflections on the Year of Mercy (3)
(courtesy: Fr T.D. John)

Do not seek to be merciful… Be a Narcissist, an egoist! 

Eugenio Scalfari, a journalist once pointed out to Pope Francis that Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves. So the love for one’s neighbour is equal to the love we have for ourselves. What many call narcissism is recognized as valid, positive.

The pope said that the word narcissism indicates an excessive love for oneself. The people most affected by this are those who have a lot of power. The narcissists abuse power and the abusers are always narcissists and suffering a kind of mental disorder.

During this Year of Mercy I will tell people that I am a narcissist and that I enjoy being one.

Statutory warning: Being a narcissist is injurious to mental health.

Small pockets but large hearts

Last night commenting on the parable of the multiplication of loaves by Jesus, Fr Palli offered the boys another version of the 'miracle'.  He said that perhaps Jesus did not really 'multiply' bread and fish.  But how then did the five thousand men eat to their fill?  Well, they certainly had their own tiffin boxes and carriages.  All that Jesus really did was touch their hearts to help them be generous enough to share with all what each one already had.  Thus not only was the food sufficient but there was extra/left overs too.

He concluded his goodnight thought saying: Even if the pocket is small but the heart is big, wondrous things can be done!

I guess this is the real story of most of our benefactors.  People with small pockets but large hearts!