Futile efforts

 For the past one week, I've literally been glued to my phone - hands, ears and eyes!  Just waiting all the time for the screen to glow, the message to ping or the call to come through.  All because of two parcels that have been causing untold havoc with my schedule and mind! 

One parcel contains a set of coin batteries that I need to return, because instead of 10 batteries that I ordered and paid for, I received only 8.  But that pick up is not happening since two weeks!! The online status of the product keeps changing more often than the clothes our movie stars change in a movie song! But none of those updates are true.  Sometimes it says I'm not available. At times, the agent couldn't reach the customer.  Other times, the pick up is being scheduled.  And most of the time it is 'on the way' - so I've no clue as to which day or time the pick up guy will actually land up!  

The other is a laptop replacement screen that I ordered from Bangalore.  This time, it is the delivery guys - the same useless, Delhivery service!  Five days ago the online status indicated that the parcel has reached the closest dispatch store, which is 11 kms from where I live.  I went in person two days ago to collect it, but it wasn't available.  The store manager even gave me the assurance that the parcel would reach me the same evening by 5 pm.  And gave me his number as well.  Neither did the parcel arrive, nor did the manager attend my calls!  For the last three days, I've been getting calls each day that the parcel is out for delivery and that 'my issue' would be resolved 'today'.  That 'today' is yet to dawn!  

For the time and peace of mind I've sacrificed for these two petty things, I could have truly achieved something great.  This morning as I sat for meditation, asking the Lord to help me sort myself out, it occurred to me that if I were to have invested the same time, energy and passion in pursuing these items and ended up getting frustrated, anxious, upset and angry, into the noble protests of the Gen-Z and CJP, it would all have been worth it.  I falsely calm myself saying that it is not about the money, but the principle of keeping up one's word, respecting deadlines, being professional that I'm challenging.  But truly not worth fretting about these things! 

One consolation of yesterday: managed to get the SIB mirror+ app installed and activated for one particular account - an effort of 6 months!! 

Set free (3)

 

This virtue of being sensitive to the needs of others is perhaps one of the many qualities a religious should acquire.  Not all ask or even speak out.  Yet they have something to say or are in a dire need.  Noticing them, is the first stage.  Without that we would only be responding to our imagination than an actual need felt by the other. 

Set free (2)

Jesus in liberating the woman possessed by the demon for 18 long years, rebukes the other Jews who cite the law to prevent him from curing the woman, all because the day is a Sabbath day. 

So besides the demon and her own physical illness, there is also the society and the 'normal' people who are keen not to see her well and whole.  As it is, there are umpteen number of things that plague us individually.  To this when others add chains and burdens, life becomes all the more tedious and painful.  

Secondly, this woman was suffering for 18 years.  That's quite a long time. I admire her courage to be able to live with this struggle for that long and still carry on.  I'm not sure how confidently or with what amount of faith she approached Jesus.  I'm not even sure if she came wanting to be healed by Jesus.  Because, it was Jesus who noticed her - not she imposing herself on him.  But I have an inkling that even if she were not to have received that cure, and got healed, she would still carryon with life, without a grudge or giving in to greater pessimism.  

In that sense, she had already freed herself, even before Jesus set her free.  That setting oneself free was the initial step for her cherishing the greater freedom.  Because I'm sure, if she had not grown that deep, even after her complete cure by Jesus, she would have still found something still binding or crippling her, of which she would mourn - and be bent, in a different way! 

Set free (1)

 We often think and assume that it is our addictions and inordinate passions that bind and cripple us.  In fact, nothing or no one can actually bind us.  

It is we ourselves who bind ourselves. We let our habits and behaviour imprison us.  Most often unconsciously we let ourselves be led into a trap and eventually into the prison.  And just like getting in is not a one day achievement, getting out too is not a one day conquest.  

Nonetheless, no matter how much of help we seek and receive, human and divine, it is ultimately I who need to set myself free!  Because it is I who have imprisoned myself, in the first place! 

Passion-extreme

 The tamil word for 'terrorist' is 'theevaravadi'. It is a different word than the meaning in other languages.  I think telugu has the same word - could be wrong, though. But the difference between the english and the regional words is the notion of who or what one does.  

The english word stands for one who spreads terror, destruction. The regional words, on the other hand, stand for an 'extremist', or a radical.  The latter can also be interpreted as someone who is a very very passionate about an issue, passionate to the extent of bordering on fanaticism.  

That said, it is also a fact that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (coined by Gerard Seymour in his 1975 novel Harry's Game)!  In the light of the recent protests and struggles, across the globe, and especially a closer unbiased review of each side on either struggle will reveal that no one is without reasons or valid issues fueling the struggle. No honest struggle can ever be termed wrong or bad.  

Tell me why - Declan Galbraith

 

Laity and the mission of the Church

 This morning's reflection on the laity in the church was an interesting one.   Just when I thought and was getting ready to listen to a long series of thoughts we all know, but are unwilling to practice, I was in for a surprise.  

Fr Albert Johnson, citing Christifideles Laici, reminded us that as priests and religious we DO NOT SHARE the mission of the Church with the laity.  Hell, we do not own it for ourselves in the first place!! The laity (defined as those called to holiness in their own way of life in the secular realities of the world) own the Church, as much as priests and religious.  The latter do not have the monopoly over the Church! 

As priests and religious we have a particular role and responsibility to fulfil - the religious aspect of the mission.  Similarly the laity have their role and responsibility clearly cut out by the Church - the temporal sphere or aspect of the mission.  (I guess, the clarity is in the documents and among some sensible people. Most bishops, priests, religious and even lay people themselves are not aware of neither the definition nor the mission!).  But together our collective mission, that of the whole Church is, evangelisation (the Kingdom of God).  

The clergy and religious carry out the pastoral and sacramental dimension of this mission.  The laity carry it out in the temporal or the secular sphere of the world.  The mode and the place are different, but the mission is one and the same!  

The sin of the prodigal son

 In the parable of the prodigal son, the younger son after his departure from the house and squandering the property inheritance, comes to his senses and says, "I've sinned against God and my father...!" 

This morning it struck me: What exactly was his sin?  Why did he feel that he has 'sinned' against God? Against his father, I'm willing to understand that he 'sinned'. Although asking for his share of the property is no sin; immature behaviour or lapse of judgement, at the most.  But no sin.  So, then, what was he repentant about, that too to God? 

After much thought and prayer, it struck me.  Hard and fast. It was when I placed myself in his shoes - that wasn't too difficult to do.  And that's when it occurred to me, the sin of which the younger son was aware of, was him pushing away God and his own father from his life. Shutting out God and his father, from himself.  That's the sin.  Denying oneself of the love and concern, of God and the father, and striking out alone, by oneself - that's the shortcoming.  

The famine, the hunger, the pigs, the poverty... all of that was incidental.  Happened to be.  I'm sure, even without these sufferings and struggles, the young man would have sooner or later realised this sin of denying oneself of God's love, of his own fathers love.  Even in his abundance he would have discovered the deficit!  Maybe difficult or late, but for sure.  I say so with confidence, because I know. I feel.   I'm not facing any hardship or great struggle right now.  Yet I feel myself shrivelling. Just, not feeling comfortable.  Something's not right.  It's like watching the rain, up close, and feeling sorry or bad about not dancing in it.  And who's preventing me? Myself! 

Furthermore, even if his request to his father for taking him in merely as a hired servant, and not as his son, were to have been granted, the youngster would have been mighty thrilled.  Just to be in the company of his father, he would do anything.  He would have gladly accepted looking after the pigs of the father, as long as he knew that he was in his father's presence.  The father, on the other hand, even if he were to have accepted him back into the household only as a servant, would never have ill-treated him or looked down on him or even held a grudge for wasting his hard-earned money.  That's the confidence of the father in his love for his child and his upbringing.  (On a side note, I don't think the father would be harsh or disrespectful towards any of his staff or workers!!). 

This is again the insight that connects me to the interpretation of the sacrament of reconciliation that I heard John Dickson speak about to the boys and girls preparing themselves for the sacrament of confirmation at Addlestone, years ago.  The starting point of the sacrament of reconciliation is not awareness or acceptance of my weakness or sins.  It is actually the love of the Father!!  I cherish the love of the Father and therefore approach the sacrament knowing He is merciful.  It is love and not guilt or shame or fear that should move me to confession.  If love is not the starting point, then even after my confession, I'll still feel guilty and sad.  Because my starting point and the whole focus of my approach to the sacrament is myself; not God.  My sin and not God's love and mercy.  This does not discount my need to be repentant. But merely shifts the whole emphasis on God's love and mercy as the most important aspect.  

Making your way into the necrology

 A young dean of studies at the novitiate house of Idaya Deepam, in Yellagiri, had just distributed the Province directories to the novices in the study hall.  The novices were all keenly flipping pages to their community page to see their names printed in the list of community members. 

That's when the young priest told them, "Never mind looking up for your names in the community page now; what's important is that they appear in the Salesian necrology!"

That was quite amusing ... and a real challenge as well! 

Lean on them

 In the 2011 movie, Touchback (writer-director Don Handfield), there is a particular dialogue by the coach Hand, (played by Kurt Russell) that has stayed with me for years.  In the movie, there is a tough American football match on between a small town college team and a professional team.  All eyes are on Scott Murphy, the hero played by Brian Presley, who almost single-handedly fights the opponents to keep in the smaller team in the game. During break, the coach advises the star player: 

Don't forget, you have 10 other players.  You don't need to do it all by yourself. You didn't carry the team here, you led them.  They may not be the biggest or the best players, but they are farm boys.  Lean on them. They won't break!

This is the same advice I'd love to give to very many of our Salesians, especially those who tend to look down upon the lay people working WITH us in our institutions.  There are those who treat them as if they are servants, our servants!  We tend to forget that, far from being servants, we are working WITH them.  We are in it together.  We are not the bosses or the owners.  Nor are they our slaves.  

I too need to follow this advice.  Learn to delegate.  Trust.  Share responsibility.