Nehemiah, the new discovery!

 This morning hearing the presentation on the first encyclical of Pope Leo XIV, I realised I heard something new from the Bible.  The text and the story of Nehemiah.  I can't remember hearing it before, leave alone reading it myself.  But the story left a deep impression on me.  There was this animated video of the story of Nehemiah played, as part of the narration of the Encyclical, and it was inspiring.  

• risk of power without accountability 
• prayer before action
• trust in God
• synodality and participative leadership
• response modes and content of the response, in the face of adversaries
• facilitating rather than autocratic domination
• restoration of not just the walls and gates, but of the people 

But as we finished viewing the animation clip, I said to myself I need to review the same clip, but this time, without the self-glorification of viewing myself as Nehemiah!  I certainly need to see that clip! I should read the text! I need to see and feel God's grace speaking!  

Prayer

This morning we began the annual leaders meeting.  There were several aspects going through my heart and mind and I was aware that I was disturbed.  There were a couple of presentations, that I was mostly coordinating, and was anxious not knowing what actually the presenters will finally come up with or how they would put across the core ideas. Besides, I myself was handling a delicate topic and was anticipating trouble from some lousy participants ... and was itching to wring someone's neck!  But sense prevailed... or let me be honest in acknowledging God's help in understanding my own situation.  So I said this silent prayer and even wrote it down, right in the hall, in the midst of the preliminaries: 

Lord, let me say and do what builds and paves for growth or transformation, rather than assuage my hurt feelings or boost my own ego! 

At the end of the day, as I re-read the same prayer from my scribble pad, I sincerely THANK GOD for hearing my prayer! 

Lizards around the tabernacle!

 In his sermon today, Santiagu spoke of four ways in which we who claim to be men of God, can turn to be Godless men.  

It was his description of the second stage that amused me most.  He spoke that in the second stage we use God for our survival.  Rather than Him being the centre of our lives, he becomes a tool we use to make a living for ourselves.  

The analogy he offered was the best: lizards around the tabernacle.  Those creatures who practically live around the tabernacle, do so not out of love for the Blessed Sacrament or because they have a personal relationship with Jesus (perhaps they do!), but because that's the easiest place to secure their food.  With the tabernacle lamp glowing day in and day out, insects naturally get attracted to the light and become prey to the lizards. Moreover, most tabernacles are placed in such a way that there is enough space to hide behind or around it.  

Great!  Fits some (or most) of the lives of priests and religious!

Hunger and its impact

 The Indian Express ran the following story yesterday of a kind hearted soul who has initiated a movement to bridge the gap between those wasting food and those sleeping hungry: Neemani Malleshwar Rao, the founder of the initiative, Don't Waste Food. 

A Childhood of Hunger, a lifetime of giving

Nothing glorious or pompous.  Just small steps to making someone's life better.  A journey learnt not from books or after having becoming a billionaire, but drawing inspiration from one's own life and its initial struggles. 

Such are the initiatives that make an impact.  No wonder the movement has spread across some other Indian cities, since its work began here in Hyderabad in 2012.  What began as an impulsive act of distributing excess wedding food that was dumped, to homeless people in the city of Hyderabad, might have appeared impulsive at that moment, but it had its deep roots in Malleshwar's personal life and struggle.  

In short, it is a matter of being open to being moved to action; rather than wait to strike big and then do some good. 

Desire and suffering

 The Buddhist philosophy directly and squarely places the blame of suffering on desire.  It is desire that is the root of all suffering.  Take desire off the equation, all suffering also ends.  

Although it may sound too dire or exaggerated, there is a great sense of wisdom in it.  The Buddhist thought rationally helps one understand this connection between human desire and untold suffering prevalent in the world, especially in one's own personal life. Therefore Buddha's own simple path: detachment.  No desire or attachment towards anything at all - not even detachment itself!  

The greater the plans and ambitions, the greater the toil and the consequent joy (on fulfilling the plan) or suffering (at failing to live out the plan).  And the comedy of human life is such that no matter what the outcome of the plan, we don't give up desiring!!  At the most, we desire something else.  But never do we totally renounce everything!  Perhaps this counter dimension is what Arthur Schopenhauer was driving at. 

These are the most rabid thoughts playing out on my mind, as we enter a week-long string of meetings.  We have mega plans, and I personally am almost certain that we are biting more than what we can chew.  So I'm not pinning my hopes on achieving much, leave along even to convince our confreres of half of what we want them to change or plan for this academic year.  Nonetheless, there is also a sense of calmness within, that what we are doing is truly a selfless animation for the good of the province. And that it is God's work, so he's actually responsible.  If he has other plans, I'd rather be open to his plan rather than stubbornly hold on to what I hold clear and sure. 

Everyone is leaving!

 An excerpt from the book of Teresia Bosco, on the life and works of Don Bosco... 

As I heard the following passage, I was struck by the first sentence itself! 

Can't you see that everyone is leaving us?

As soon as the work of the Congregation began, the external difficulties ceased and the internal ones began! 

I remember that once, seeing that many people were leaving, I took the liberty of saying to Don Bosco: "Don't you see that everyone is leaving us?" He replied: "God does not need anyone. It is we, his poor creatures, who must be grateful to him because he has called us! If we do not, God will call others, who will listen better to his voice. You will see how the Lord will provide to fill the vacancies! Look, I remember that when at the beginning of the Oratory I was abandoned by everyone, God showed me the church, the house, the clerics, the priests... People would ask me: "Where are they?". And I answered: "They are not there yet, but I can see them.  If you have patience, you too will see all these thing!" I asked: "But what kind of habit would these clerics and priests have?" He replied: "They must have the habit of virtue."  This answer convinced them that he was mad.  But in the meantime, came the Oratory, the church, the porticos, the clerics and the priests.  Then he said: "Don't doubt: we will overcome this difficulty too."

Construction

 The construction work is laborious - naturally for the one doing it, but also for the one who is carrying it out (the owner).  Without supervision, there are a hundred and one things that can go wrong, which the masons and team will not bother look at or see to. Not that the mason and team are bad or malicious, it is just that they are so focused on their task that they do not tend to notice any other tasks their job has created! As the home owner, one looks at the whole house, rather than just one portion that is being built or renovated. 

But one thing is sure, investment in construction and worse, renovation, is a dead investment! 

Forward looking

 One of the reasons our meeting go on and on is because we tend to focus on the past.  We keep repeating what happened, how it happened, why did it happen so, who was the cause (sometimes tracing it back to the series of causes, stopping just short of the Ultimate cause!), and so on.  While knowing the context in which things went on well or did not go on as expected and learning lessons is important for any evaluation, that shouldn't consume most of our time and energies.  We need to take stock of the facts and move on. We should focus on the future.  Planning our next move is more essential than prolonged dwelling on the bygone. Learning our lessons from the past and focusing greater attention on the future course of action, is integral to efficient planning. 

Unworthy renewals

 Rubbing salt on the wound, as if summer heat perspiration is not enough, is the laid back attitude of some who take life for granted.  Who have everything they need and still make no effort at contributing their little to the common pool of resources.  That was my thought as I sat at the back of the Church this morning, attending the Mass for the renewal of vows.  How I wished I could toss some of those sitting before me, not just out of the Chapel, but out into a furnace! At the same time, my mind was also telling me, that it is God who calls and perhaps he has a plan for these young Salesians - something of which I am not aware or, in my present state of mind, am unwilling to see! 

After three weeks of spaced out programmes and inputs, we found a couple of guys smoking in the rooms last night - just before the night of their renewal of vows! Last year, on this very day a few others were found with alcohol bottles in their rooms!  In the latter event, I wouldn't open my mouth to protest, because drinks are often served at table in practically all our houses.  So when the seniors drink, that too openly and sometimes, excessively, by what authority can I tell the younger generation that they ought not to.  But smoking??? When on earth do these guys pick that up?  

Sitting in the Chapel, it occurred to me, right now, we have within the Province, a long list of confreres, breaking every rule not just in the Constitutions but of the Gospel as well!  Confreres involved in financial mismanagement, unhealthy relationships, addictions, brazen disobedience, abuse of power, blinded by caste affiliations... and I don't mean, these are rare occurrences; these are habitual, brazen and seen as normal. 

Anyway, I have to remind myself, that it is ultimately God who is the master of vocations and it is His work that we are engaged in.  So if he feels a drunkard or a womaniser or a chain smoker is who he needs for his ministry, who am I to object?  Nonetheless, my conscience tells me that I cannot leave it all to God, for I am convinced he has put me here and now, with this role and that responsibility, for a particular purpose.  That does not let me see, without putting up a fight, my home, my family, my province go up in smoke! However I need to constantly remind myself that it is not God who needs protection or defense; it is the individual who needs accompaniment. 

The caste menace

 I never really fathomed the extent of caste rot in the Province, till I actually started fulfilling my responsibility as the Economer of the Province. Over the last couple of years, I've seen first-hand the prejudices, anger, bitterness, irrationality and absolutely nonsensical idiocity of confreres swayed merely by caste affiliations.  It has amazed me how strong and deep are these connections that cloud the mind and heart so badly that one grows blind (and deaf, and dead and what not) to the most evident facts of life. If only some of these confreres (not even all such 'infected') were half so passionate about Christ and his Gospel values, we would have worked innumerable wonders.  Anything and everything is viewed and interpreted based on the caste equation. Even common sense, leave alone, spirituality and ethical reasoning, goes for a toss.  It is sickening!  

Religious life, or priestly ministry, or for that matter Christianity itself, has no place for caste.  As Salesians we either leave out the dirty caste politics out of our apostolate, or show ourselves out of the congregation and the Church.