Dependence

 My recent reflection based on the FCRA cancellations and the upcoming concerns with foreign funding, brings back to the fore our reliance on projects, to the extent of crippling out initial passion to work by ourselves. The availability of funding actually makes us lazy!! 

Earlier our predecessors worked with a vision, firmly rooted in the context of the place. Their humble initiatives were not project-bound. They just did all they could. Their time, talents, will and available resources were the investment. Recognising this total and joyful commitment, donors offered their mite by way of financial resources. The focus of our early Salesians was not projects or funding; it was the apostolate. At no costs did they halt the apostolate, even when funding dwindled. God provided. 

Today we ride on the merit of their hard work. Our commitment levels are far lower than theirs. Riddled with personal agenda and selfishness, our apostolate is often a showcasing of ourselves rather than a genuine concern for the growth of the young people. In such a context, external funding only feeds our lethargy and selfishness. 

So I wonder, if my insistence on accountability is misplaced. The greater emphasis should be on discerning the real needs of the young, with a far sighted vision for their long term growth; earning by the sweat of one's brow; maximum utilisation of available resources rather than new resources - with a clear firm focus on the young and God, taking ones own wants out of the calculation. 

Staying put on the primary purpose

 The parable of the good seed and the bad seed, calls our attention to focus on the purpose and not be distracted or settle for something less (negating evil) than primarily intended (doing good).

Weeds are a nightmare for any gardner. They are those plants which have mastered every art of survival except that of growing in straight lines. Moreover they never can be got rid of. However the farmer in the parable chooses to stay focussed on growing wheat and not to focus on the weeds. He chooses to stay a farmer rather than turn detective hunting down the culprit who showed the darnel; or shift his attention to the weeds, at the cost of the wheat. 

The farmer stays put on doing good (growing useful wheat) rather than eliminating evil (weeding out the darnel). The former indirectly achieving the latter, while the latter does not always or necessarily result in the former. 

Thanksgiving rather than a petition

 Lord, stay with us! 

This was the theme of our recollection talk yesterday.  Drawing it sensibly from the passage of the Emmaus story and the numerous instances in the Bible, the talk highlighted the importance of this short but effective prayer: Lord, stay with us! Also a very very Salesian theme (accompaniment!). 

The talk also included the narration of an incident in the life of Mahatma Gandhi.  He was once travelling by train to Bhuvaneshwar to attend a rally.  He chose to travel in the general compartment, packed with people. Those accompanying him and others who knew him offered him a seat in that packed compartment.  A bulky man too entered soon after and noticed the extra space for this 'skinny man' - people out of respect dared not to cramp Gandhi and hence had made extra space for him.  This hefty man, not recognising Gandhi, was infact going to the same place to listen to Gandhi! They did interact a couple of minutes but not much.  Only on reaching the station and noticing the crowd gathered to welcome Gandhi, did he realise that he travelled a long distance beside the very man whom he wished to hear - without knowing and engaging in a conversation! 

Such is also our rapport with God.  While the prayer, 'Stay with us, Lord' is a very genuine and heartfelt prayer, I believe it is not always the right kind of prayer.  I believe, God is ALWAYS with us.  It is we who do not feel his presence.  Hence rather than ask Him to be with us, we ought to pray that we realise and cherish His presence.  From another perspective, more than a petition, the latter attitude or realisation is a prayer of thanksgiving: THANK YOU Lord, for being with me! 

Pick your battles

 This evening while in prayer it struck me that I ought to share with some young Salesians this advice: Pick your battles. 

With more and more complexities in community life and apostolate, the major hurdle often is lack of communication and discord within the community.  While there is much to be done outside, when there is discord within, there is hardly anything substantial or meaningful achieved elsewhere.  But when there is communion within the community, in spite of and through the internal disagreements and fights, miracles happen! 

In those places where there are people who are well intentioned and hard working, there is also this sort of ego clash that breaks the harmony.  The disagreement is not about the task as such but perhaps about the way of going about. Such and other trivial matters need to be cleverly handled and understood. They are often not the crux of the matter and hence need not - and should not - becomes obstacles for the process of good.  

If the matter is not concerning basic primary principles or values, but only accidentals, one can give in for the greater good rather than fight it out for the trivial matters and miss out doing the greater good.  Hence the need to be prudent to pick one's battles.  Not every battle is to be waged, leave alone won.  Not worth dissipating our energies on the non-essentials.  But if it pertains the core matters of our life and living, and it makes a world of difference to the beneficiaries, then it certainly is worth battling it out.  

Inadequacy of words

 I personally prefer to spend time in silence while in the Chapel.  Words and long prayers really don't offer me much of help.  But in silence and personal conversation, I find peace and great meaning.  

There is only so much that words can express.  Emotions and feelings often are on another level. The inadequacy of words is apparent all the more when the words and text are of someone else. While prayers and words of someone else often has a supportive character, they fall short of always being personalised.  I am unique and so is my context and life.  Hence it is very very difficult to match that with someone somewhere sometime and his or her life and context.  Sometimes even my own words feel insufficient or even obstructive. 

The best is that silence which does not easily let one be idle!  Silence in prayer has a totally different aura about it and the impact it has on oneself. 

 

Appreciation

 There is on some rare occasions a fervour aroused and a passionate appeal made on behalf of certain sections or professions in the society.  All of these professions are certainly noble and praiseworthy.  It is just that the fervent stirred is short lived!  Take for example, the focus on farmers.  Then there is the patriotic sentiment aroused in the name of the armed services. Or the doctors. The whole country is carried away by these 'advertisements'.  But their genuine needs and protests are not something that touches or moves us.  

The farmers agitation in north and south India went on for months.   During that time, there was much media publicity about these protests.  Slowly that wound up - the broadcasting, not the protest.  What happened to those farmers and their attempts is unknown!  But we had our supply of fruits and vegetables - and we were happy! 

Each of these services is truly of great importance. But when the span of attention and appreciation is very short and passing, the respect due to them is not genuine.  It is only a fad.  

I came across someone sharing their experience of some shops in Japan displaying, with the farm produce, the name and photo of the farmer who cultivated them.  That's something noble. A truly personal touch and link between the end-user and the producer of the fruit or the vegetable. 

Unnecessary complications

 As it is we have been having great trouble keeping up with the numerous Income Tax demands and notices that keep coming in every other day.  Added to that there is the constant flux of FCRA norms and rules.  

But the icing on the cake is when we have to explain to confreres how to send out mails: where to find 'reply all', how to log in using the recovery phone, that there is a thing call 'incognito mode', to send out a reply the main first mail using the text received in one of the subsequent mails in the same conversation, where to find 'bcc' or even 'cc' - leave alone explain to them what each stands for and does! 

Today is one of those days, where explaining a simple thing as sending out a multiple reply or logging into a mail account lying dormant for months, was more complicated and taxing than what those mails were about!!

Prayer and meaning - mismatch

 This particular thought occurred to me the first time when I was in the UK.  All of a sudden, when deeply engaged in reading the heavy philosophical texts as part of my study, it hit me that I was not really paying attention to what I was reading!  It was true that I wasn't distracted, or was not paying attention to the text I was reading, just that my mind was simultaneously busy with something else. 

I could conveniently read a text and still be gladly letting my mind think of something else altogether, without breaking the flow of reading. I tried if reading aloud helped me concentrate on the text, rather than let my mind be on something else and surprisingly I found that it was easier that silent reading!! 

I couldn't get my mind around this strange phenomenon that I noticed in myself and tried to see how and where could I have picked up this habit of disconnecting my eyes, mouth and mind! I soon found the source: during prayer! One day, sooner than later, it struck me that I was praying the breviary, the psalms, but my mind was elsewhere.  That's when it hit me that over the years, I've learnt to think of something totally unrelated to what I am reading - thanks to my community prayer moments!  I can confidently, in a loud and clear voice, read the psalms from the breviary, all the while thinking about my office work or plan a budget!  

Over the years I've tried to break this unhealthy habit, but with no success. I realise I've deeply imbibed it unconsciously, perhaps. 

'Head'lines

 Some headlines and the accompanying photos are a hilarious mismatch... 

The arrived

 Every group has a variety of members and a greater assortment of leaders! The Salesian community or Province too is no exception. 

Glancing at the working style (without making any moral or character judgement) of the leaders of our communities, we get to see a wide variety.  There are those who are simple. They know they are not complicated or omnipotent and therefore go about their work, seeking assistance and are open to guidance. Then there are those who go about as if they know it all. No consultation. Unwilling to alter course, even if they recognise they have made a blunder. And it is always somebody else's fault - everytime.

I remember a particular phrase Fr Camillus, the former Provincial of Chennai, would use to describe the latter: the arrived confreres!