The axe was long falling

 Today was another serious confrontation, butthis one was very peaceful and calm. Most probably because even before the individual entered my office he knew he had no line of defence. Yet, that did not deter him from putting forth some lousy illogical arguments, which was evidently not clear to himself in the first place. 

Within a few minutes into our dialogue, his initial little hope began to evaporate. I could see it on his face. I could read it in his eyes. He didn't put up any fight, but merely surrendered to what he already guessed would be the final outcome. 

At a point I felt sad for him, for he is much senior to me. I could see that he felt cornered and helpless, not because of me or my questions, but because of what has lead to this day, this heartbreaking dialogue - his own doings. 

Looking back at the whole discussion, given the context and content, I feel pleased with how I put forth my points - firmly and clearly, without in any way humiliating or disrespecting the person. Even though none of his responses were anywhere near truthful or convincing, I did not loose my cool, not even a frown. Perhaps also because he never 'fought'. He knew the axe was long falling.

Disconnect of the tongue

Like every other species on the earth, we humans too love to communicate... especially, by way of talking. So much so, for most of us prolonged silence is almost practically impossible. 

While that is the case of most of the population, there is a small portion of humanity which prefers to speak less.  Among this minority, there are few who barely speak at all. With people of such ability, conversation becomes very difficult. Then there are those whose silence cuts us off from even gauging what's going on in their mind.  

There are those rare few who speak very little but when they do speak they make utmost sense. Hence it is a joy to listen to them.  

A few people have a tongue that has a mind of its own.  Sooner than later, other realise how fickle such people can be.  

Then there are those whose tongue is totally disconnected from their mind; a total rapture of the nerve linking the tongue and the brain. I know of a handful of such and I stay away from them!  Worse still, if link to the heart is also missing!  Such people are toxic.  

Pathetic government websites

 In the last month of August, for various reasons and at different times, I had to access the national websites.  Gosh, most of these websites were a nightmare, even to login; leave alone upload or download anything worthwhile! 

One of them is the one that foreign nationals need to use to register (or allied services) when they land in India and are to stay for anything other than tourist purposes.  I spent half a day (more than 6 hours!!) just to complete and upload an application, while assisting a youngster from Germany, who is here as a volunteer.  It was not about the internet speed, but everything about the website itself that just drags you on without helping you get on with it.  Logging in required an OTP.  That never came through.  So I had to register myself with all my Indian details - just to get an OTP.  Once we were able to sign in, uploading documents was another nightmare.  Clicking the browse and selecting file was one game of cat and mouse.  And when we did manage to bell the cat, the 'upload' button would be hidden behind the file preview!! To access the 'upload' icon, we had to get rid of the file!! Imagine doing this for a dozen documents.  

Then the instructions all along are nothing but a bunch of jokes!!  Of course, at that moment of frustration, jokes don't go down well!  At one point, the guidelines say, if a particular document is uploaded, then this letter is not to be uploaded.  But when you complete the process and reach the submit threshold, the submit icon does not get activated till that file which was earlier stated as redundant is uploaded!  And so begins the whole process, all over again!! 

The comedy of the matter is when some documents are totally unavailable and explicitly stated as not needed and yet one has to upload those files.  Well, Indian as I am, got around this, by uploading a random pdf file!!  Just a blank while page, saved as a pdf.  That got accepted and I could proceed to the next level!  

The same website had a scrolling banner which stated that a new website has been launched.  Clicking on that link led to a bit more decent looking website.  But my hopes for a faster and easier task were dashed when the whole website, which explains things in detail, but has no links or icons to actually do the work of uploading and submitting the application!  

As I struggled with this particular website, I could not but wonder what on earth would foreigners be thinking of our 'advanced IT claims' when they land in India and have to wade through such horrific websites, just to register themselves. 

Self-display through communication

All of us have our own likes and dislikes.  Each one of us is certainly entitled to our own opinion.  We also have the liberty to express our opinion or likes and dislikes.  These opinions and expressions do not necessarily define our identity.  But there is a certain line you do not cross, especially in communicating ones own opinions or likes or dislikes.  Once you cross that line, you are no more expressing your opinion but revealing your character.  

No more is it about the other or that which I intend to speak about, that aspect outside of myself; it is now I who am on display! It is myself that I am exposing unabashedly and totally unconsciously. And all the while think that it is the other that I am speaking about. 

The interconnectedness

The secret language of trees... 

There is nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.  Ross Bob

Trees have a vast root system that supports not only survival of itself but facilitates a highly complex and intricate communication system between the various trees in the vicinity.  It is not just the trees roots that do all the work, but there is a whole invisible army of fungi, algae, microbes, sugars... that is at work.  Not all of this network and their mutual functioning and aiding is clear or understood by human science.  But the fact remains that there is a whole give-and-take going on underground.  Most of it is mutually benefiting, but not necessarily all of it.  

What's most interesting is that there is information too passed on!!  This sharing of information helps neighbours get ready to cope with factors (drought, insect attack, diseases...) not yet encountered by itself but by another in its vicinity. 

The bottom line of it all is the interconnectedness of nature!!  

Gentleness and reverence

The second reading of the sixth Sunday of Easter, a letter from St Peter, was almost a personal reminder of my own resolution, at the beginning of the year.  It was all the more striking because I failed in it even today!

Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear... 

I am aware that at times when I reply, the response is always laden with contempt and sarcasm!  It arises not just from the question or the immediate context, but from a deep rooted bias that I nurture against some principles or people.  However, good and worthy my point is, the fact that I condescend an opinion, and sometimes even people, I already lost the point.  My conscience is not clear!  One good cannot be wrought about by doing something worse.  I'm driving home the wrong message.  The problem is not with the message, it is with me. 

Gentleness and reverence!  

'Being offended'??

There is the incident in Buddha's life that comes to my mind when I hear about the whole debate between 'freedom of speech' and 'no platform'.  One of the basic bones of contention in this debate is offense (giving and taking). 

On an occasion when there were people visiting the Buddha, there was a man who came in and started abusing the Buddha.  But he sat there very calm and quiet.  He never retorted nor got agitated.  After a while, the abuser got tired and left.  The disciples then approached the Buddha and asked him, why didn't he say or do anything when he was being insulted.  The Buddha replied, "When someone offers you a gift and you refuse to take it, whom does it then belong to?"  The disciples replied, "The giver." And the Buddha replied, "He offered me a gift and I did not accept it!  So why get worked up about what is not mine!"

Besides, I know not if there is anything called 'being offended' - no one can offend me, unless I let them offend me.  Furthermore, resorting to anything other than verbal dialogue or debate, in order to show difference of opinion or contest the other person's views, is already conceding defeat! 

Everytime I get angry or hurt, I ask myself why is it that I'm feeling this way.  So rather than merely shut the other person up by shouting or insulting, I merely listen.  I then merely present my side of the story.  And then leave it at that.  If the person merely wants to insult me, by feeling insulted, I'm letting him win, without a valid reason.  And if what he or she says has a point, then it is for me to ponder and respond appropriately (both the other and myself - in the reverse order!). 

The same is true of 'bad words'.  When someone calls out, "Peter" I don't respond.  That's not me. So why should I respond to someone who calls me a 'sob'?  If I do respond, then I'm accepting that title!  

Documentation: Ayodhya issue as case

The article appearing on The Times of India online edition about the historical record of Ayodhya as a place of worship offers a reading which should be the basis on which any rational decision should be arrived at, with regard to issues whenever in dispute.  However, we often resort to every means other than checking records.  Primarily because we don't have records!! 

The article also makes interesting reading... how we come to know of Indian history from people who were not from India!  The article does well to explicitly state:

The British officials of the period demonstrated the opposite of the well-known Indian disregard for documentation. 

The article spells out how worship at Ayodhya was a joint-worship of Hindus and Muslims... peacefully and in perfect harmony... till 1857!  Besides the religious - or call it politicized religious - issue what makes interesting reading is the historical data provided.  And who recorded that data!

I think we Indians have a sort of allergy to put pen to paper!  We prefer the verbal testimony and that is how we think history should be recorded!  We really didn't learn very well from Valmiki, the first author, poet of the Ramayana.  If only we inherited his keen sense of recording history, in black and white, we would have had a better chance at being more 'educated'.  The same Valmiki is also credited with teaching the children of Rama and Sita the verbal song of the Ramayana.  Thus blessing us with both the verbal and written history record.  So later if there is any discrepancy between the two, the point of departure can well be traced and reasons for the same known - if people after Valmiki did what Valmiki did!  Even if they did not, at least we have the original document for further and future reference.  

Loneliness

An interesting understanding of loneliness, something that did not occur to me earlier...

By ‘loneliness’ Arendt did not simply mean solitude, in which – as she points out – you have your own self for consolation. In the solitude of our minds, we engage in an internal dialogue. We speak in two voices. It is this internal dialogue that allows us to achieve independent and creative thought – to weigh strong competing imperatives against each other. You engage in it every time you grapple with a moral dilemma. Every clash of interests, every instance of human difference evokes it. True thought, for Arendt, involved the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. True loneliness, therefore, was the opposite. It involved the abrupt halting of this internal dialogue: ‘the loss of one’s own self’ – or rather, the loss of trust in oneself as the partner of one’s thoughts. True loneliness means being cut off from a sense of human commonality and therefore conscience. You are left adrift in a sea of insecurity and ambiguity, with no way of navigating the storms. (Aeon)

And this loneliness is the common thread running through all extremists and belonging (to the extremist or terrorist group) gives them a sense of identity, a place where they no more feel lonely but valued.  So it is not that only those who are physically alone or isolated that are prone to loneliness, even those living amidst people and even those who are actively involved in the lives of others also can be victims of this loss of trust in oneself.  The key as I see it is communication and empathy.  

Good is not the word

Speaking of stating the truth without hurting or causing confusion and in a way acceptable to all, without in any way diluting the content of it, is an art. 

Many years ago a few Salesians doing a refresher course in the States were invited by a family for a meal to their home.  The household had put in great efforts to receive them, make them feel at home and lay out a grand meal.  However the food was not so great.  And when, at the end of the meal, the hostess asked the priests how was the meal, one of them prudently replied, "Good is not the word!" 

The Salesian conveyed what he wanted to convey, without in anyway offending the lady! 

Heart of communication: Communion of persons

The Church celebrates the World Communication day today.  Among the many messages and policies that clutter our media, I'm attracted towards this particular quote of Pope Francis

... that the heart of information is not the speed with which it is reported or its audience impact, but persons.  Informing others means forming other; it means being in touch with people's lives.  

The prayer concluding the message of Pope Francis on the occasion of the World Communication day 2018
Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Help us to recognize the evil latent in a communication that does not build communion.
Help us to remove the venom from our judgements.
Help us to speak about others as our brothers and sisters.

You are faithful and trustworthy; may our words be seeds of goodness for the world:
where there is shouting, let us practise listening; 
where there is confusion, let us inspire harmony;
where there is ambiguity, let us bring clarity;
where there is exclusion, let us offer solidarity;
where there is sensationalism, let us use sobriety;
where there is superficiality, let us raise real questions; 
where there is prejudice, let us awaken trust;
where there is hostility, let us bring respect;
where there is falsehood, let us bring truth.
Amen.

Concealing - revealing

Often we use different tactics to cover up our faults and failings.  We twist words, design a behaviour, manipulate feelings to our advantage.  Most often politicians and lawyers use language to manipulate meaning and convince their hearers into believing them, most often of things they know are not true!

Modern media and communication channels, far from merely portraying reality, are rampantly used to basically present a very biased picture of reality, convincingly.  The camera lens and the newspaper ink are not really rear-view mirrors.  Gleaning through these messages and information to sift and find out what actually is the case is not always easy. 

However, every time one generates a subtle message, or acts in a particular manner for the public, those words or actions cannot be totally classified as concealing or hiding.  They actually reveal what kind of person one is!  If one is careful to see through, the words or actions, one will notice what's hidden and real and not be bluffed by what is projected or presented.  In this process one gets a glimpse of not only the other person, but of oneself too!  

The cartoon link

This particular sketch neatly and succinctly links the recent Windrush immigration scandal that has hit the UK and the birth of the royal prince...  I guess only comedy and cartoons can achieve this unique blend of reality and bitter truth, without initiating a war! 

I guess this also portrays a sense of 'urgency' and the degree to which one can get paranoid when one is hell bent on achieving success at any rate!  

Cave paintings and emojis

Mankind took centuries and ages of painstaking effort to evolve communication and language from the earliest animalistic grunts and cave paintings.  Years of study and research has seen the development of syntax, grammar, spelling, dictionaries, translations and what not... all to polish language and make it more sophisticated.  In such a context it is amazing to see the use of language on social media, especially the ones most in use (twitter, facebook, whatsapp...).  Grammar has gone for a toss.  So have spellings. Words are shortened and abbreviated (euphemism for murdered and butchered!).  And most often there are hardly any words or letters... only emoji.  So much so, the word 'emoji' was announced as the word of the year in 2015 by Oxford dictionary!  Back to the age of cave paintings! But I guess pictures have always been a more powerful means of communication than words.

The Father's commandment

Reflection for April 4, 2017: I say and do only what the Father has told me to

All of us seek name and fame, in our own subtle ways. That is human tendency. There is nothing evil about it. However, as humans we really do not need all of it! We often forget that we are not called to be the sun, giving out light to the world. We are rather called to be reflectors of the sun spreading light to the dark corners of the world and peoples lives. Jesus Himself shows us the way when he openly admits that He is merely following the Father's commandment. All His words and actions that drew attention to Himself, He used it all to build the Kingdom. In this Kingdom, the light already exists; one is merely called to be reflectors of that light or atleast transparent enough for that light to shine through us.

Phone booth

With the rapid growth in communication technology, gone are the days of the public phone booth. So was surprised to see one during my walk today.  Only when I reached closer did I notice that it is totally abandoned. But the phone and everything else was still intact.  The presence of cobwebs and the word 'dead' scribbled on the door, give way to the fact that it is no more in use.

To recall yesteryears, these phone booths were much in demand and significant landmarks.  The most striking thing about the advanced mobile phones in comparison to years when there wasn't any such facility, is when I go to pick up someone at the railway station.  Earlier, all the information we would have is a postcard or an inland letter stating the date, train name and the time of its arrival.  Equipped with just that piece of information, we would still locate the guests and escort them home without any difficulty.  Now even with the latest of technology, our concern for the guest has not grown proportionately.

Then, found another thing, just beside the phone booth which is nearing extinction: the postbox!

Personalised greetings

Most people think that with an advancement in the means of communication, communion grows. That's not always true.  At times the danger is that instead of bring people together, the means of communication, distances people from one another or makes relationship superfluous.

I'm reminded of days, not too long ago, when b'day cards were sent out to loved ones to greet them on the occasion of their birthday.  Now these cards had to be timed in order to reach the person just before the day. That meant thinking about the person much before the actual day itself.  So there was a list of people close to us and their dates and addresses.  This list or diary was regularly looked at and invariably people remembered.  The greeting itself meant writing something worthwhile and good for the person.  Taking the trouble of going to the postoffice to get a stamp and then post it. Then came b'day cards which replaced the letter. But even then, one had to think of the person, in advance (and till the actual day).

With the internet, the e-mails made things "easier". One had to think of the person just the previous day or on the day itself.  Today, most people merely remember on the day and send a whatsapp message or a facebook post.  Gone are the personalised greetings. Wishes are now broadcasted not conveyed! What's more one need not even remember any date, they are all digitally recorded and reminded!

Understanding the unintelligible

Most of us agree to the notion that there are things which are beyond conceptualization. There will always be things which we can never fix into words and meaning.  They will always elude intellectual grasp.

Theologians and believers would call that the realm of faith. Philosophers would mostly not agree to this fact and try all the same.  For the latter, this exercise is what keeps alive the inquisitiveness of human life. Thus in a way it is healthy, for the mind and for life.

In an effort to conceptualize the unintelligible, most often we think of what harm we would be doing to the reality itself.  By trying to fit it into our mental categories we somehow distort it, at times beyond recognition.  But today it struck me that there is something else that is harmed too: the tools by which we try to conceptualize the yet-to-be-conceptualized.  By tools I mainly mean language.  No wonder, the first thing that goes for a toss in philosophy and mystic talk is language.

And how does one grasp that which is beyond language?  Primarily without language one cannot think; even to name a sentiment we need language; even to express what is felt, one needs a medium/language...

On either side of the phone

One commonly observed phenomena of UK and India:
Young people are most often on the phone both in UK and in India. The only difference is that in India they are chatting away and in UK they are texting away!

Another feature related to this but reflecting a more profound reality:
Here in UK people purposely use the phone to block out others.  Meaning to say, interaction with others is not something they look forward to or encourage.  While in India, being on the phone is another way of getting closer to someone.  Rather than an escape from people, it is a tool that connects people - though, mostly a distance away.  But Indians surely are not shy of interacting with one another, even if the other is a total stranger.

On air...

For the first time, I was on air/radio today. Fr John invited me, in the place of a friend of his who didn't show up, to be the guest of the day.  He asked me to speak about six special moments of my life along with some songs that best describe these moments.

Though the script (basic content) was there, I was a bit anxious because you never know which direction it would take once the conversation begins.  However I was quite relaxed too, for I said, I'm not going to say things which I do not know about. Those things I know, I know.  And what's the fear in speaking about things I know well.  Moreover the one sitting opposite to me leading me into conversation is a confrere, why fear!

As I went through it, I also realized things of my own, my own deep convictions and ideas.  Because when live on air and with questions or topics you're not really fully scripted and ready, and with the basic practice that you'd not lie, you hear yourself say what's strongest or uppermost in your mind.  It is not tension or fear but sincere thoughts clearly expressed.

So we spoke of how I became a Salesian Brother, my work with street children, days at school, bollywood, Hyderabad...

Speaking to John later, I realised how great this ministry is.  You never know whom you reach out to, (besides the one with you in the studio), how deep your impact is going to be and on whom.  But still with this kind of possibility, every effort is worthwhile.  Of course, you bring to it your own inescapable flavour of being a religious.