Some English tips!

 This morning one confrere during the meeting concluded his observation thus: 

One cannot expect everyone to know everything on one's FINGER SPOTS!

This confrere often comes up with such words or phrases, with such confidence, in public, that those who know a little good use of English sometimes begin to doubt their own knowledge!

Learning English at Salisbury Cathedral

Learnt two facts about the English language, the etymology of two words/phrases, while at the Salisbury cathedral...

Underdogs:  The word comes from carpentry.  When a tree is felled, the master carpenter and his apprentice would dig a ditch under the tree to saw off sections.  The apprentice would go into the ditch and hold one end of the long saw, while the master would be above the fallen tree.  (By the end of the sawing, the poor apprentice would be covered in sawdust and mud!)  'Dog' is a tool used by carpenters to hold back the fresh wood that they are sawing.  Thus the dog used by the master would be over dog and that used by the apprentice (who is in the ditch) as the underdog! 
(However, the common meaning seems to arise from a different source).

Second etymology, found it in the Magna Carta display room...

Power of words

Received the following text a few days ago:
I guess it is in light of the Brexit mess that UK finds itself entangled in...

Earlier we had empires and emperors who ruled over these empires.  Then we had kingdoms and kings ruled.  Now we have countries! 

Someone surely is quite pissed off!  Nonetheless, not counting the political tone or slant of that, the text is a very clever use of language to convey a very subtle, sharp and scathing remark!  Like Fr Maliekal saying, "saying without telling!" 

Blimey!

Among the few English words I've come across for the first time since I came to the UK, is this word, 'blimey'.  Never checked the meaning of it, but gathered that it was an interjection.  Only yesterday did I come to know that 'blimey' is an abridged form of 'Cor blimey' which actually means 'God blind me'!  Well, knew that blimey is an expression of surprise and excitement, but didn't know that it has this meaning... know not if those using this phrase lavishly (some whom I know well) are aware of the original meaning.

I guess, that would not be the only word, the actual meaning of which we are blissfully ignorant of!  But as long as it is functional and useful, it works.  We don't have to know everything about a word (or for that matter, anything) to begin using it.  

Rendering meaning

The dilemma of whether to use or not to use language is such that even to express its 'murderous' nature, we use it.  An interesting article on the meaningfulness of greeting cards inspite of them using cliches or outdated phrases...

Clichéd statements such as ‘I love you’ and ‘Sorry for your loss’ call attention to this double futility: language always fails but it is impossible to remain silent. Nowhere is this clearer than in the sympathy card phrase ‘There are no words’. Though the statement is true, in order to be given meaning it must be expressed and, in doing so, is falsified. This axis of articulation and absence, of speaking and silence, is the dilemma that language continually re-presents.

[Source: Aeon]

Expressions: Indian vs British

There are some words or expressions typical of the British English, as spoken in London.  I do not claim to collate them all here but thought it might be good to identify some of these before I get so used to them that I do not notice the difference:

• 08.30 am: back in India it would be 'eight thirty', but here it is 'half eight'.
• 'pavement' here and in India we call the same as 'footpath'. But certainly in India there is hardly any place where we don't tread! 
• Most people here use the expression 'you know' quite too liberally.  Initially I was tempted at times to interject, "No, I don't!' Though redundant, it is very much part of any conversation or talk.  In India, I've come across people who use the word, 'no?' quite often in their talks. 
• A tall building housing many occupants is called a 'towerblock' here.  In India we'd call it plainly a building. 
• 'Headmaster' or 'Principal' in India would be the 'head teacher' here in the UK. 
• Everyone here is addressed by their first name.  No matter who or what he or she is, no matter who is addressing, everyone calls everyone by their first name.  At the university, the professors are addressed by their first name by the students.  Not once have I ever heard the word 'sir' or 'madam'.  Only when addressing someone officially will one use the prefix 'Mr' or 'Mrs', but then it is followed not by the first name but the surname.  The name of the head teacher is James Kibble.  For all, staff and friends, he is James.  For the students, he would be Mr Kibble.  But even that, only while at school.  Otherwise it is James! 

Eat here!

Came across this particular signboard during one of my tumbling around on youtube videos!  Found the caption quite amusing!

Hay fever

One of the many pleasant memories I have of my 5 years of stay in Kondadaba was the continued learning of the local language.  Well it was Telugu, but not the same Telugu as elsewhere.  Most of all, it was a constant 'upgrade' trying to understand what Apparao our gardener spoke.  (I was better; Fr KT Jose who was there for 12 years still could not follow most of what Apparao spoke and neither did Apparao understand what Fr KT spoke!).  Anyway, the adventure was always enriching and entertaining.

Being here in the UK, one gets to pick up typical phrases and sayings of English particular to the British.  'Hay fever' is one that I learnt today.  In my usual existing vocabulary it would be 'pollen allergy'.  There are some who struggle much or little, especially the following morning, after a couple of hours of work in the garden.  Here in UK it is referred to as 'hay fever'.  Those allergic to pollen end up sneezing, blowing their noses, struggling for breath, eyes turning red or struggling to keep them open or close them...

Plan to go nowhere

This afternoon while having some fun at the expense of the English language, we were talking about some strange American English usage.   Fr Michael narrated this following piece of conversation between two American seminarians who wanted to go out for a walk.

"Would you like to join me for a walk, this evening?"
"Where are you planning to go?"
"Nowhere."
"Then, I'll join you." 

That's quite a plan: to go nowhere!! Well the point is 'nowhere in particular' but I suppose we can always enjoy a good laugh!

You know...

Every place and every person has their/his/her own vocabulary.  Some of these are so often used that they unconsciously become repetitive and unnecessary.  I discovered the predominant phrase of the Brits: 'You know...'

They say British English is the model for English language. From first hand experience I beg to differ. Or perhaps, I've met and interacted with the 'not-really-English'. One thing is certain, most use this phrase so often without even actually saying what they intend to say, that I now am beginning to feel the itch to interrupt and say "No, I don't!"

Another annoying thing about most conversations is the amount of clatter in every statement.  It looks as if they wish to make their point with as many words as possible and that will automatically make it look grand. May be it is the problem of philosophers - or those who claim to be aspiring to become one... to use 1000 words where just 100 would suffice. However, my years of teaching in the formation houses has helped me appreciate and strive for a language which expresses itself (and me) in clear, precise and short sentences.  Only when one is not clear of what is on one's mind, then all the words keep rolling, tumbling, falling and bouncing. The sentence may be there but to know what is being said, most of the words need to be jettisoned!

Tom Sawyer and the fence

Here's one my favourite sections of Mark Twain's, Adventures of Tom Sawyer: 

Tom gave up the brush with reluctance in his face, but alacrity in his heart. And while the late steamer Big Missouri worked and sweated in the sun, the retired artist sat on a barrel in the shade close by, dangled his legs, munched his apple, and planned the slaughter of more innocents. There was no lack of material; boys happened along every little while; they came to jeer, but remained to whitewash. By the time Ben was fagged out, Tom had traded the next chance to Billy Fisher for a kite, in good repair; and when he played out, Johnny Miller bought in for a dead rat and a string to swing it with--and so on, and so on, hour after hour. And when the middle of the afternoon came, from being a poor poverty-stricken boy in the morning, Tom was literally rolling in wealth. He had besides the things before mentioned, twelve marbles, part of a jews-harp, a piece of blue bottle-glass to look through, a spool cannon, a key that wouldn't unlock anything, a fragment of chalk, a glass stopper of a decanter, a tin soldier, a couple of tadpoles, six fire-crackers, a kitten with only one eye, a brass doorknob, a dog- collar--but no dog--the handle of a knife, four pieces of orange-peel, and a dilapidated old window sash. 

He had had a nice, good, idle time all the while--plenty of company-- and the fence had three coats of whitewash on it! If he hadn't run out of whitewash he would have bankrupted every boy in the village.

Reaching the doorpost...

Some amusing quotes of a confrere who speaks... and speaks a lot!

We are at the doorpost of the great celebration... (doorstep got bungled up as doorpost)

Who is that entering my office without knowledge? ('my' got scrapped out of 'without my knowledge')

English exam in summer!

The English answer papers are on my table... Here's a sneak peek (I'll try to be as verbatim as possible, unless the computer makes the changes automatically!):

Combine the two sentences using a conjunction

• He was punished. He was guilty. [A] He was punished therefore he was guilty. 
• I will come. I am not ill. [A] Though I am not ill, I will come. [another answer] I will come so I am not ill. 
• He has been wounded. He was cheerful. [A] He has been wonded because he remained cheerful. 

Write this in a proper question form: You went to Kolkata in February?

• When did you go to Kolkata in february? 
• in which mounth you go kolkata? 
• You went to kolkata on the february?

Sorrowy to here about it. (Let me 'translate' that for you: It is a response to a death news! And I suppose he meant, 'Sorry to hear about it').

Catch me so that you can. (The statement was: Catch me _____ you can)


Here are some sample sentences from the section which said: Write a sensible paragraph (only 60-70 words) on 'Summer season':

• In the Lent season we can know how the sun it is. 
• lent season begins in lent season. 
• summer season is very beautyful spring.
• when I see a summer season, firest of all i remember my childhood mamaries...
• I enjoy my summer holyday with my borthers... 

A student wrote a string of words related to summer, one below the other.  I couldn't make out why would he write mere words, till I read my own instruction for the umpteenth time... this time trying to see how he would have read it ... (only 60-70 words)! 

Sexuality (or English?) reinterpreted

Here's an extract (verbatim) from a final year student's paper on 'Human sexuality as interpreted by the Catholic Church'... mind you, only one of the many such!

Sexuality has got a greater meaning.  That the God created man in His own image. He created male and female to have a hetero sexuality, so that they can multiply the procreation and bear the posterity or offspring.  (emphasis added)

Now what am I to understand and how am I to interpret such texts? If English is a hurdle, then what of understanding the content (which is in English)? If understanding is the problem, then fine. But how does one express what one has understood - if not in English, in this case? 

Lots of 'Peace'

Let me begin my Advent blogging on a lighter note. This morning for the Responsorial psalm, the Brother reading it had not practiced too well. Naturally there was something for me to be amused about in spite of the seriousness with which I intended to participate in the Holy Mass. The Brother kept reading the word 'peace' fast and short, and for all of us hearing it, it sounded like 'piss'. So here's the psalm, as heard by most of us today: 

Pray for the PISS of Jerusalem!May those who love you prosper!
May PISS be within your walls,Prosperity in your buildings.Because of my relatives and friendsI will say, "PISS be within you!"

Well, that was a lot of 'peace'!

History of Plural Word...s

Here's an interesting historical lesson regarding English language, the origin of plurals, in particular.

Found it on Free Technology for Teachers.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me...

Timmy's Mom loved him very much and, being a worrier, she was concerned about him walking to school when he started kindergarten. She walked him to school the first couple of days, but when he came home one day, he told his mother that he did not want her walking him to school every day. He wanted to be like the "big boys." He protested loudly, so she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbour, Mrs Goodnest, if she would surreptitiously follow her son to school, at a distance behind him that he would not likely notice, but close enough to keep a watch on him. Mrs Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, Mrs Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, the little friend of Timmy noticed that this same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally, he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us all week? Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yea, I know who she is." The little friend said, "Well who is she?" "That's just Shirley Goodnest" Timmy said. "Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?" "Well," Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers cuz she worries about me so much. And in it, the psalm says, "'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life.' So I guess I'll just have to get used to it."

Greetings?

Why do we greet one another 'Good morning', 'Good evening' and so on?  Is it merely a statement or a mere expression?  If it is mere information, then one need not since the other person too is not such a dumb idiot to notice the goodness of the day.  If merely an expression, then need not be cliched!

I think these bits are a commitment to make the moment good, for myself and for the other too.  It doesn't make any other sense to me!

And I'm still wondering why this thought flashed my mind as sat for tea the other day at table!

Hole te cat

Try figuring out this: hole te cat.

Any idea what that means... and by the way that is English!

Well, the other day I asked one of the first year students, whom I often found distracted in class, to show me his class notes of methodology (my subject).  That day in class I had spoken to them about things they need to keep in mind while preparing and giving an exam (both in the written form as well as the oral  form).

I found the above said "language" in his notes under the 'Exams' title. I asked him what it meant. He looked at it for a while and then blabbered something. He again looked at his own writing and then said that it means how to hold the pen (the next line consisted of only one word, 'pen'). So according to him it (his own notes) read 'instructions to hold a pen during an exam'.

And just for all to know what actually I meant and he heard but mis-spelt is 'HALL TICKET'.

One need not think hard to imagine what would be the fate of philosophy and all that stuff, if the fate of hall ticket is such! 

Relearning language

The Hindu of yesterday carried an interesting article on language, busting quite a few myths and presenting some interesting facts about language.  The article, titled 'Stories they tell about languages' (written by Rama Kant Agnihotri) states that there is nothing 'pure' or perfect structure of any language, least of all, the language spoken by the majority.  Though I did not fully get the author's final solution, I guess he is proposing a strategy by which our school children learn languages, rather than a language. Moreover he is suggesting a logical enquiry into language rather than 'grammar' of one particular language.

In the opening para, the author clearly expresses his anger at the claim that the language spoken by the majority is the best, the most relevant.  Unless we replace the rote-learnt grammar with a scientific study of language...

We will continue to neglect the language of children and the community; the levels of silence will continue to increase in classrooms; the clamour for English will become more intense, privileging a handful and neglecting the majority on the margins.  Yes, there is something inherently wrong with the formulation 'minorities on the margins'; those minorities constitute the majority of our population. 

Interesting to note the authors wide horizon to speak of 'language of children... of silence... of those on the margins'. To conclude, I am reminded of a quote of Alvin Toffler who once said,

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.