Passion-extreme

 The tamil word for 'terrorist' is 'theevaravadi'. It is a different word than the meaning in other languages.  I think telugu has the same word - could be wrong, though. But the difference between the english and the regional words is the notion of who or what one does.  

The english word stands for one who spreads terror, destruction. The regional words, on the other hand, stand for an 'extremist', or a radical.  The latter can also be interpreted as someone who is a very very passionate about an issue, passionate to the extent of bordering on fanaticism.  

That said, it is also a fact that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (coined by Gerard Seymour in his 1975 novel Harry's Game)!  In the light of the recent protests and struggles, across the globe, and especially a closer unbiased review of each side on either struggle will reveal that no one is without reasons or valid issues fueling the struggle. No honest struggle can ever be termed wrong or bad.  

Tell me why - Declan Galbraith

 

Laity and the mission of the Church

 This morning's reflection on the laity in the church was an interesting one.   Just when I thought and was getting ready to listen to a long series of thoughts we all know, but are unwilling to practice, I was in for a surprise.  

Fr Albert Johnson, citing Christifideles Laici, reminded us that as priests and religious we DO NOT SHARE the mission of the Church with the laity.  Hell, we do not own it for ourselves in the first place!! The laity (defined as those called to holiness in their own way of life in the secular realities of the world) own the Church, as much as priests and religious.  The latter do not have the monopoly over the Church! 

As priests and religious we have a particular role and responsibility to fulfil - the religious aspect of the mission.  Similarly the laity have their role and responsibility clearly cut out by the Church - the temporal sphere or aspect of the mission.  (I guess, the clarity is in the documents and among some sensible people. Most bishops, priests, religious and even lay people themselves are not aware of neither the definition nor the mission!).  But together our collective mission, that of the whole Church is, evangelisation (the Kingdom of God).  

The clergy and religious carry out the pastoral and sacramental dimension of this mission.  The laity carry it out in the temporal or the secular sphere of the world.  The mode and the place are different, but the mission is one and the same!  

The sin of the prodigal son

 In the parable of the prodigal son, the younger son after his departure from the house and squandering the property inheritance, comes to his senses and says, "I've sinned against God and my father...!" 

This morning it struck me: What exactly was his sin?  Why did he feel that he has 'sinned' against God? Against his father, I'm willing to understand that he 'sinned'. Although asking for his share of the property is no sin; immature behaviour or lapse of judgement, at the most.  But no sin.  So, then, what was he repentant about, that too to God? 

After much thought and prayer, it struck me.  Hard and fast. It was when I placed myself in his shoes - that wasn't too difficult to do.  And that's when it occurred to me, the sin of which the younger son was aware of, was him pushing away God and his own father from his life. Shutting out God and his father, from himself.  That's the sin.  Denying oneself of the love and concern, of God and the father, and striking out alone, by oneself - that's the shortcoming.  

The famine, the hunger, the pigs, the poverty... all of that was incidental.  Happened to be.  I'm sure, even without these sufferings and struggles, the young man would have sooner or later realised this sin of denying oneself of God's love, of his own fathers love.  Even in his abundance he would have discovered the deficit!  Maybe difficult or late, but for sure.  I say so with confidence, because I know. I feel.   I'm not facing any hardship or great struggle right now.  Yet I feel myself shrivelling. Just, not feeling comfortable.  Something's not right.  It's like watching the rain, up close, and feeling sorry or bad about not dancing in it.  And who's preventing me? Myself! 

Furthermore, even if his request to his father for taking him in merely as a hired servant, and not as his son, were to have been granted, the youngster would have been mighty thrilled.  Just to be in the company of his father, he would do anything.  He would have gladly accepted looking after the pigs of the father, as long as he knew that he was in his father's presence.  The father, on the other hand, even if he were to have accepted him back into the household only as a servant, would never have ill-treated him or looked down on him or even held a grudge for wasting his hard-earned money.  That's the confidence of the father in his love for his child and his upbringing.  (On a side note, I don't think the father would be harsh or disrespectful towards any of his staff or workers!!). 

This is again the insight that connects me to the interpretation of the sacrament of reconciliation that I heard John Dickson speak about to the boys and girls preparing themselves for the sacrament of confirmation at Addlestone, years ago.  The starting point of the sacrament of reconciliation is not awareness or acceptance of my weakness or sins.  It is actually the love of the Father!!  I cherish the love of the Father and therefore approach the sacrament knowing He is merciful.  It is love and not guilt or shame or fear that should move me to confession.  If love is not the starting point, then even after my confession, I'll still feel guilty and sad.  Because my starting point and the whole focus of my approach to the sacrament is myself; not God.  My sin and not God's love and mercy.  This does not discount my need to be repentant. But merely shifts the whole emphasis on God's love and mercy as the most important aspect.  

Making your way into the necrology

 A young dean of studies at the novitiate house of Idaya Deepam, in Yellagiri, had just distributed the Province directories to the novices in the study hall.  The novices were all keenly flipping pages to their community page to see their names printed in the list of community members. 

That's when the young priest told them, "Never mind looking up for your names in the community page now; what's important is that they appear in the Salesian necrology!"

That was quite amusing ... and a real challenge as well! 

Lean on them

 In the 2011 movie, Touchback (writer-director Don Handfield), there is a particular dialogue by the coach Hand, (played by Kurt Russell) that has stayed with me for years.  In the movie, there is a tough American football match on between a small town college team and a professional team.  All eyes are on Scott Murphy, the hero played by Brian Presley, who almost single-handedly fights the opponents to keep in the smaller team in the game. During break, the coach advises the star player: 

Don't forget, you have 10 other players.  You don't need to do it all by yourself. You didn't carry the team here, you led them.  They may not be the biggest or the best players, but they are farm boys.  Lean on them. They won't break!

This is the same advice I'd love to give to very many of our Salesians, especially those who tend to look down upon the lay people working WITH us in our institutions.  There are those who treat them as if they are servants, our servants!  We tend to forget that, far from being servants, we are working WITH them.  We are in it together.  We are not the bosses or the owners.  Nor are they our slaves.  

I too need to follow this advice.  Learn to delegate.  Trust.  Share responsibility.  

Religious community life is heterogeneous

 Religious life, by nature, strives for heterogeneity. Being multi-cultural, multi-dimensional and multi-EVERYTHING is innate to religious community life. 

However, we tend to make religious life homogeneous.  Like-minded people, individuals with similar interests and likings, similar age-group... But look at the apostles of Jesus. That was not a homogeneous group. It was an assortment of all species!  Fishermen, writers, tax-collectors, what not (except women, perhaps!). The early Catholic communities and monasteries and religious communities were a wide range of people.  All from different walks of life, age groups, varied interests, differently qualified and gifted. 

Yet look at what the apostles achieved.  Just with a 3-year formation. Mere 3 years with Jesus and they were a totally possessed group of men.  They shook the world.  They worked wonders.  They changed the face of religion, eventually across the globe.  Among the divine and spiritual gifts they were bestowed with, which they utilised to the maximum, setting themselves aside, is this attitude they embraced: singular focus on the mission.  Bearing witness to Christ, becoming alter-Christus, was their whole and sole mission.  

It is because of this, they bonded with everyone.  Disparities and differences didn't matter.  Not that those were absent.  They abounded. But what trumped them was their love for Jesus.  That bonding is what aroused curiosity among the people: These men are not related by blood, yet look at their bond. Look at their passion and their team work.  That curiosity led to questions.  And the apostles were happy to answer those questions.  Seeds of vocation! 

They didn't have to plead or beg with people to become Christians or disciples or eventually religious!  They truly, joyfully and openly witnessed to Jesus and his Gospel values.  People naturally followed them.  All sorts of people!  

Truly a religious community or life is heterogeneous in composition; but singular in mission! 

Help me Lord

 For quite sometime now I have been missing Mass and prayers in the morning. There is the travel and all that fatigue. But there are also times when I just don't get up in the morning. Sometimes it is the alarm that doesn't ring - strange, but true.  But mostly it is my lethargy that prevents me from getting my arse out of bed!  

However, does my work suffer?  Not at all!  In fact, I am known work-alcoholic and I am one! So working late into the night is a regular feature.  In that sense, I'm more of an owl than the early morning bird. So the work part of my responsibility is quite taken care of. Then what/why is it that I'm talking about? Why is it that I'm not comfortable about it? 

Because it does matter!  I may be putting in more hours of work, but the quality of my apostolate is questionable.  The point is this: If I'm not keen about making it to the Chapel in the morning; being part of the Holy Mass, then there is someone or something that has taken the place of Jesus.  Not that I do not love Jesus or that I deny his presence, it is just that I love something more than Jesus.  Therefore my time, energy, resources, interests, are invested accordingly.  The logic is simple: where my heart is there will all my efforts be. 

This is one realisation of my retreat.  I love my work, more than the Lord himself! I'm working for work sake, to fulfil a responsibility.  Not for His sake.  But I wish to regain and cherish that love for Jesus.  I wish to attend Mass and be present for morning prayers and meditation, not for fulfilling the attendance, but because I love Jesus and prefer to be with him.  I wish to spend time with him.  That, and that alone, should be my reason.  

So help me, Jesus! 

Animation

 Animation, in religious and ecclesial terms, is something that touches the anima! The soul. Something that enlivens one's whole self.   

It is not a seminar, or a conference or a talk.  Perhaps that is only a means in achieving that intended result of touching the lives of people.  And what if the event (animation) does not achieve that transformation?  

In the Province, and I'm sure across the region, and even in the whole congregation or the church, there are numerous efforts at 'animating' the confreres.  Yet, in spite of all these attempts, we still notice inconsistencies, lack of integrity, vocational fragility, unbridled negativity... in fact, some or all of these are on the rise!  

Why is that so? Perhaps it is because in the mind of the one attending these 'animation sessions', there is a fixed mentality.  A mentality that reinforces I-know-it-all. What's lacking is an openness to see the possibilities and opportunities.  Constant renewal, change, growth.  Perhaps our 'animations' need to focus on changing that mindset.  

Well, easier said than done! 

Silver lining?

 A priest boasting of his silver jubilee of ordination celebrations kept repeating at the function that he has 25 years of experience.  Someone who knew him well, commented: Not 25 years of experience, but one year of experience repeated 25 times!

Motivation and competence

 Fr Albert Johnson spoke about four types of religious - in fact, four type of people in any group or organisation... based on motivation levels and competence. 

Those with high motivation and high competence. Individuals falling under this category are an asset and offer much to the congregation and province.  They are mostly self-propelled and can be trusted, relied upon to bring out change, growth and impact. 

Those with high motivation but low competence. Those in this group need guidance and constant upskilling or training. But since their motivation levels are high the encouraging factor is that they will not do much harm. Moreover if they see the value in something, they will, by themselves, acquire the needed competency to achieve that output. 

Those with low motivation and low competence.  This groups needs to be followed up.  Good to give them clear, definite and time-bound tasks rather than leave them to themselves to figure out what needs to be done. 

Those with low motivation but high competence. Whew! This is a dangerous group!  Persons in this category need to be constantly kept in check.  One also needs to be extremely careful because they are fully capable of hijacking a whole enterprise in a totally different direction, if one is not watchful.  

For young people

 One of the points that struck me from among the reflections shared by Fr Albert Johnson, our retreat preacher, was the crucial point about our Salesian initiatives and enterprises. 

At one point he made the following statement: 

Even if we take up a Parish, we take it up for youth ministry! 

He went on to elaborate that our Salesian vocation is primarily geared towards the young.  And in all that we do or say or undertake, the young people ought to be the focus.  Whatever we do , wherever we are, whatever we take on, it is for the young people.  

And if that essential dimension is not at the back of our head, inbuilt into us, then we might end up being everyone else or anyone else, except whom we claim to be: SDBs! 

He has a valid point there! Somehow this is one criteria that I did not really give it a thought to, in all these years in office, discussing policies and initiatives.  I'm not sure, if it has become so embedded in me that this aspect is by default at play in my decision making. Perhaps it has. Perhaps, not! 

God sees you

 Don Bosco's message of 'God sees you' was plastered all around the oratory during his days. Don Bosco purposely made this phrase visible and clear to all his boys constantly. It was his way of reminding them that God is always watching, and therefore to avoid sin and live as per His divine will.  

Now this phrase can be interpreted as a 'warning', a sort of preventive measure, adopted to ensure that boys don't commit sin.  A sort of fear that God is watching, therefore beware! 

Whether Don Bosco meant it to be more than that, or differently interpreted than a 'warning' is something we can always discuss and debate.  Today, I believe Don Bosco himself would have changed it to read: God is with you! Pedagogically and psychologically viewed, the latter can be interpreted more positively than the former. The assurance that God is with oneself is an assurance that someone I love is accompanying me always.  Rather than God who is a judge, constantly watching me, scrutinizing me.  The type of presence, one feels, is perhaps crucial here. 

Of course, the crux of the matter is how one views and relates to God: as a loving father/friend or a judge, a dispenser of rewards and punishments. 

Mother Mary's courage

 Exalting Mother Mary and praying to her is rather easy. What is the most difficult and challenging part is to imbibe her virtues and be like her. 

I've not dared make this reflection so blunt and direct in person every time I have shared this insight.  To look upon Mary as the perfect model of obedience and humility and what not, is good.  But for once, think of Mary as a woman, a young lady. A simple village woman who must have had some plans for her life too - however, small or petty.  Of such a woman, God ask something he has asked of no one, ever!  And Mary accepts!  She confirms and lives out that Divine request knowing well the risks involved (even death by stoning) and/or the shame and social stigma attached to being an unwed mother. 

To make it more hitting and powerful, I invite the listeners (and readers) to imagine the annunciation scene, the first encounter with Joseph, the initial days after the annunciation and those related aspects, with our own mother or sister, instead of Mary.  What if my own mother or sister or sister-in-law, comes to me and says, "I'm going to be the mother of the saviour! God himself has made this known to me through his messenger!" What would be my response to that sharing by someone I know and love.  

This imaginary replacement of Mary with some woman dear to me, radically transforms our  perspective on Mary.  Reverence towards her hits a different note.  From her we are inspired THROUGH HER OWN LIVING OUT of the virtue of discerning the Divine will amidst the numerous messages we are constantly bombarded with every day; and then the COURAGE to live by that message, joyfully and generously.  

One's own toilet in the room

 One of the numerous things that I am most often grateful for is the luxury of my own toilet in my room.  The tranquillity and comfort of having one neat and calm 'throne' is something I'll most be grateful for. 

I travel quite a bit - practically two to three weeks a month.  That too most often not more than two days in the same place.  Often the travelling is at night.  So sleep is something that I really love to catch up.  Since I have that gift of falling asleep wherever and whenever I want, no matter the circumstances, I have absolutely no issues with sleeping in the different places, every other day.  Mosquitoes, I guess, are the only thing that can disturb my sleep.  Food, too is of no worry at all.  But not all bathrooms and toilets are the same.  But even that I've got used to now.  Nonetheless, returning home and especially to my throne, is always a BIG THANK you to God! 

Financial stability

 Willy and Roshni were sharing a joke they heard one of their colleagues in the horse-riding club were talking about, given the huge expenses involved in this hobby! 

To keep my children away from drugs I enrolled them into the equestrian club; and now to ensure their continuity, I'm selling drugs!! 

Another one: 

Talking of financial stability, my finances are all in the stable! 

A day in the courtroom

 On the 7th of this month, I practically spent the whole day in the Metropolitan Court at Nampally.  I was there to attend a case hearing of my own.  I was already told to be prepared to spend long this day.  So I took my time to pay attention and take note of things, as they happen in the courtroom.  

I was also told that I could sit inside the courtroom, rather than wait outside. This really was worth it - of course, not again!! Sitting in the courtroom, I came to know a bit about the proceedings and how things unfurl in a judicial system in action in the final place of hearing.  

Here are a few things that I could not but notice: 

the seat is for the taking... anyone who is seated can remain seated, no matter who comes in (except the judge).  One can continue occupying the chair and there is no need to give it up for someone senior or even an advocate.  Perhaps this understanding is only in this courtroom; but I think it is the case everywhere. 

Call of appearance is what takes the most amount of time. Merely taking attendance! Gosh! The name or names are called out and the person has to appear before the judge.  Most often, the next date of appearance is already announced! No discussion or argumentation or anything of that sort! Just the announcement of the next date.  Watching this reminded me of the learning shared by another confrere who has been attending the court for years now say, attending the court proceedings, adjournment after adjournment, for ages, without any guarantee or hope of the case coming to its end is itself the punishment... not the final verdict

The judge during the whole day's proceedings would have looked up at the people being called in, perhaps once or twice.  In the 157 cases being called out that day, some of which had more than one person being called in, the judge looked at only 5 persons!!!  The rest of the time, she was busy with the papers and at times looking at the advocates presenting some fact about the 'accused'.  Most often, she never even looked at the advocates!! 

I was amused at the way the paper work was being handled.  The court attender, had all the case files stacked up.  He kept calling out the names of those to appear and once the fresh date was announced, he'd keep the file aside - in some strange arrangement.  Amidst all of those, I wonder how on earth would all papers, all files remain intact and not be lost or misplaced or stolen!  The whole courtroom itself was the godown.  All along the walls were old case files bundled up and stacked from the floor up! Every advocate, except for one, came in with the physical copies of the papers.  Only one young advocate had her laptop, besides a couple of files. 

The judge never took a break!  She started the proceedings right from the time she stepped into the courtroom at 10.30 am.  I was there till 14.30. She never attended or made any phone call. No did she take any snack. She stayed put in her chair all through.  The only time she did something other than reviewing the ongoing case papers, was when a lady came in for her signatures a couple of times. That was something really really commendable. 

Patience!  That was one thing you really learn in a matter of court and legal issue.  There were five advocates who were with me for my case.  From 10.15 am to 02.30 pm they were with me.  And I stood before the judge for less than 3 minutes, only to be given a date in January 2027 (3 months from now!). All this while waiting for my turn among the 157 cases of that day - first for the call of appearance and then for the surety that I need to vouch for.  That's it.  

Growth inside-out

 During my latest visit to the community in Guntur, I spent hours listening to their plans and needs.  After each one had expressed their plans and dreams for their respective departments, one thing stood out clear: each one was limiting himself to his own territory, even physical space!  Yet each one kept referring to the 'Master plan'. 

Finally when I put across my perspective of things, having heard of their plans and having known of them for months now, I stressed on one aspect: growth, that is from within.  For too long and unhealthily the community has been dependent on external resources and finances.  Even this need for 'Master plan' which has been echoing across the province for more than a year, is 'waiting' to be formulated by someone outside!  Not to speak of finances, which have been poured into the place for ages, yet there is absolutely no proportional outcome or output - no where near it. 

Hence my challenge to the community was simple: Prove your capacity and competence in maximum utilisation of what you are already blessed with (plenty, really PLENTY!!), and then anyone and everyone, including the Province will chip in with what is deficient.  I categorically made it clear that there will be no external funding or support, without the community itself making the first and the most amount of effort and contribution.  

Far sight!

 Two days ago KT received a WhatsApp message from a priest saying that he is on his way to Hyderabad to participate in the national meeting and that he is landing at Hyderabad airport two days prior. He requested to be picked up since he is landing at midnight and it is his maiden visit to Hyderabad. He expressed his desire and plan to visit the Brothers from Northeast studying at Karunapuram. 

KT picked him up from the airport at midnight. And on his way to the house the priest told KT that he would leave early morning to Karunapuram. 

Next day morning KT was in the Chapel, early riser that he is. Sometime later when it time for Mass, and since none of us community members managed to make it to the Chapel, he noticed this priest enter the Chapel. 

KT out of courtesy invited him to the sacristy, offered him the alb and requested him to preside over the Eucharist. The guest backed away and declined. KT persuaded him saying that no sermon was expected. He still refused. KT then took off the Mass introduction as well. Still he was not ready to preside. In a final bid KT volunteered to read the gospel as well. Still no willingness. Having backed out at each offer, the guest was now almost out of the sacristy. 

That's when the guest revealed that he was not a priest at all. And that he was an ex-aspirant whom the guest priest had invited to join him to Karunapuram. All this while KT failed to recognise that the young man before him was not the same as the one whom he had picked up from the airport last night!!!! 

Move the chair

 

Hobbies vs Apostolate

 The other day we had a meeting of the Leaders and in the Varia points as part of the Agenda there was a discussion about one of our earliest communities.  The point raised was, what can we do at _____, given that it is one of our earliest Salesian initiatives in the Province?  The whole idea is triggered by this misinterpretation of 'Master plan'.  The itch for this is to see what NEW can and should be done, because we are already there for donkeys years. 

Sitting and listening to the proposals and ideas being proposed, I made no attempt whatsoever at getting involved.  Several months or more than a year ago itself I had made my stand clear:  Our 'Master plan' is primarily in response to a local need.  What more we need to do for the young people of the locality is what needs to be our guiding principle and criteria.  And that should not begin and end with infrastructural additions.  Rather it should be initiatives which are tested and if found worthy of investment (financial and personnel) time and our commitment will tell.  

However, since then the discussion of a 'master plan' is in the air, without any consideration of what is the need that we are addressing.  The whole focus is on what 'we want to do'!!!  But is that what we want, the same as what is NEEDED by the young people?? Secondly, the whole craze is to have new buildings! What for? The same things we already are doing!  So my basic question is what improvement have we done or wish to achieve, other than new buildings??  

Sitting in an ac hall we discuss matters about what we want.  That's deciding on hobbies, not finalisation of apostolate! 

RIP Br Charlie

 

Delete AND empty the trash

 

Unframe Jesus

 

Insulated against social issues

 In quite a few of our Province discussions and meetings, there is a small group of individuals who point out that most of all we do, say and think about is inward looking!  In other words, what happens in the country or even beyond our gates hardly makes an impact on us or on any of our interventions.  We consciously keep ourselves away from anything social or humane matters.  We say all the right things, but still be comfortably untouched by the socio-political-justice dimension of our wider society. 

It is not a matter of jumping into politics or dabbling with political matters.  It is more about looking at those oppressed and marginalised as my brother and sister, because we have One Father.  

My personal take on this conscious denial of the fact is that we have always been - and prefer to continue being - an inward looking, in-house focused congregation and Province.  We set up base and wait for people to come to us.  One of the first things we do when we go to a new place and buy or get a plot of land, is to put up a compound wall.  The wall not only is to prevent others from coming in, but also from letting us move out! We stay insulated.  We build and then spend the rest of our lives and energies safeguarding what we built!  

There is also the fear of safeguarding our FCRA, society status, or our built up image of 'spiritual leaders'! Not that we do not do good work or noble apostolate; but only those who come to us get that assistance.  The wider reality of the society and nation is not our concern!  Living ministry outside our walls is something we dare not venture out for! 

Round table of apostolate

 There is a great temptation in our apostolate to view one better or greater than the other.  Not maliciously but mostly out of misplaced fervour. But the fact is that there is no hierarchy of ministries.  There is only a round table of apostolate.  Just like at a round table, there is no one greater or higher.  We are all at the same level, face to face with one another and on an equal footing. 

The hierarchical or pyramidal view of the types of apostolate arises when one views 'pastoral work' as true religious apostolate (top of the pyramid) and other works among civil groups or human rights based activity as 'social work' (bottom of the pyramid). 

The criteria then is not what we do, but with what Spirit we do what we do.  By that criteria, where, who, when does not matter.  'Why' is of primary importance.  Therefore, if love of God is what urges us to a particular activity or service, then it is an apostolate.  If love of the Father does not drive one to clean the sacristy then that service is no better than a protest march carried out on behalf of our brothers and sisters for a just cause, even though the sacristy is closer to the altar! 

Chandur history (early years) - updated

 Chandur land near PHC (acres 6.19 guntas; Sy no. 39) 

 A brief history (as of 20 September 2026) 

 The Salesians were welcomed into the Diocese of Nalgonda by it first Bishop, Rev. Mathew Cheriankunnel in the year 1979. By then there was an informal presence of the Salesians in the diocese for pastoral and social apostolate already. Later Fr Koshy Thomas and Fr Muthalakhuzhiyil Sebastian, arrived in the Diocese of Nalgonda in 1981. They were based in the Parish of Bhimanapally. In 1979 itself the Salesians were requested to start a college for the young people of the Nalgonda diocese near Chandur. All that existed in the locality of Chandur was a government school and no institute of higher education. To this end, the Salesians were offered a plot of land (Plot A), measuring acres 6.19 guntas, near the town of Chandur. This plot was bought by the then Bishop Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel on 01 March 1979 (Saledeed 272 of 1979, Nalgonda). 

 When the Salesians wished to start the construction of the college on the proposed site, there was no water source found on location. Hence another plot of land (Plot B) close by was finalised and officially transferred to the Salesians in 1985 [Transfer deed 1848 of 1985, Nalgonda]. The transfer deed was necessitated and fast-tracked to procure permission for the college. This 10-acre plot is where the Salesians eventually built their residence, boarding and the college. The formal community was set up in the first half of 1985 (Fr Malayaty Jacob and Fr Koonananickal Jose). The identification and finalisation of both the plots of land was done through the kind favour and support of Fr Casiraghi, at the behest of Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel. 

 Plot A has been with the Salesians since 1981. The site was shown by the Bishop himself to Fr UV Mathew (Economer of the undivided Bangalore Province), Fr John Lens (Provincial Councillor) and Fr Emprayil Mathew (based in Vijayawada), already in 1980. This site was close to the Chandur bus stand. Later the Public Health Centre (PHC) was built nearby. This was the plot of land that was offered to us Salesians even before we set foot in Chandur [Appendix 1: Invitation Letter of Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel dated 05.09.1981]. All along the land has been in our possession and under our care. It was cultivated from time to time, and taken care of by the Salesians, especially because there were constant attempts at encroachments from the neighbours. 

 Over the years, especially during the time of Fr Malayaty Jacob and Fr Garlapati Kishore, former Rectors, attempts were made to register the land in our name. To this end, letters were issued by the then Bishops. Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel during his tenure as Bishop of Nalgonda itself issued the first letter [Appendix 2: Bhudana patram dated 08.12.1985]. The original sale deed of the land (Saledeed 272 of 1979) too was handed over to us to complete the formalities at the Registrar’s office. Later again a letter of intent was issued by Bp Govindu Joji [Appendix 3: Letter of Bp Govindu Joji dated 06.05.1998]. However, due to various factors the registration process was never properly completed. When we initiated the attempt again in 2011, a fresh letter was again obtained from Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel, who was at that time residing in Eluru [Appendix 4: Bp Cheriankunnel typed letter dated 08.11.2011]. This time only the passbook was processed, but in the name of Fr Pandicherry Joseph. Riding on the assurance of the Bishops over the years that the land was long given to the Salesians, the formal registration was never properly pursued till the end. 

 Sometime in 2008 or 2010, the road was laid out to the PHC. Till then there was no official path or road as such. And that whole area was an open ground. That formal road split Plot A into two portions: one of acre 5.11 guntas and the other of the remaining smaller portion (approx. 1 acre). Around 6 guntas was lost to the road and road-widening. 

 In the year 2019 the Salesians confirmedly decided to complete the registration of the land bit and approached the local leaders for assistance. In that process, a local politician was contacted to facilitate the completion of the registration of the land [Appendix 5: Passbook 1 (Acres 6.19 guntas)]. The smaller portion (approx. 1 acre) was given to the politician instead of financial remuneration/fees (including formal and unofficial expenses) for this registration process and to ensure that all encroachments were cleared. Besides he was to build a compound wall around the plot. The larger portion of acres 5.11 guntas continues to be with us Salesians [Appendix 6: Passbook 2 (Acres 5.11 guntas)]. And there is no intention of selling or disposing off that land as of date.

Weekend service: Beyond heaven

 A renowned Master who was a holy person was going out of the monastery every Saturday evening and returning late on Sunday.  The disciples began to talk and discuss about it on a regular basis. All of them believed that their Master was going up to heaven every Saturday evening, meeting God and returning on Sunday.  This was happening for a long time.  

One curious disciple wanted to verify.  So one Saturday evening he shadowed the master as he left the monastery, without the knowledge of the master.  He noticed the master going out of the village and entering an old dilapidated hut.  He went close and peered in.  

The disciple saw the master having a conversation with an elderly bed-ridden woman.  Later, he was shocked to notice the master sweeping the house, scrubbing the floor, washing her clothes and even giving her a bath. He spent the night talking to her calmly.  He even cooked some food for her for the week.  The next day he did a few other odd jobs in her house and then returned to the monastery. Before the master could return the disciple sneaked in to the monastery. 

The other disciples soon gathered round the disciple and asked: "Did our master go up to heaven?"  The disciple replied, "Our master did not go up to heaven. He went beyond heaven!"

Passion meets opportunity

 I am at Mariapuram today and was pleasantly surprised to see all the 23 boarders and one girl (daughter of one of the school helpers) making an all out effort to speak in English.  They recited the whole Rosary in English, perfectly well!  The little girl led the night prayers as well. And although she was reading out the text, her English was far FAR better than some of our Brothers and even Priests!! 

I think this is what happens when passion meets opportunity.  These children may not be the brightest of all in the school or the vicinity. But when provided with an opportunity to speak in English they have grasped it with both their hands.  

I would be a fool to believe that all 24 of them are equally passionate or motivated. But it certainly looks that most are!  They haven't had any language labs or special English tutors.  No professional help or assistance either.  It is pure old school insistence, practice, follow up and encouragement.  Much credit goes to the boarding master (an ex-Salesian himself, who I guess is keen to make an impression, to work a comeback! No harm, given the beneficiaries are the boarders!). 

The statue of Mother Mary, in front of the Church at Mariapuram, against the evening sunset backdrop

Education and emotions

 Reflecting on the Teacher's day and the Salesian method of education, a legacy left behind for us by Don Bosco, it occurred to me that for us Salesians, education is more than studies. It is more than mere subjects or lessons. It is basically about the whole person. It is about the whole life.  

But that's also the same of every genuine and loving teacher.  The Salesian slogan of 'education is a matter of the heart' is applicable to every teacher who truly inspires.  They inspire not because they taught well. But because they pour themselves out for their pupils.  

Teachers whom we remember affectionately are those who did more than merely covered the syllabus. In fact, one hardly remembers the content of their teaching.  But they are remembered because how they made us feel about ourselves.  The same can be said about those teachers whom we would like to forget.  They may have been the best 'teachers', content and delivery wise. But if they did not help us see ourselves in any way better than how we saw ourselves, we'd not remember them much.  

Leadership

Another characteristic of a good and noble leader... 

A true leader always stands in front during failure and stands behind during success. 

Switching on for years!

 The other day I had to change the switches in my office.  They were put in there less than 6 years ago, by my predecessor.  I guess the old switchboard and the switches were replaced as part of some renovation carried out in the office.  

On the other hand, I see the switches of the rest of the house.  They were the original switches put in place, when the Provincial house was built and ready in 1995.  They have been operational and functional for 31 years! And still going strong! 

The ones put in 1995 were of Anchor company and these have lasted for three decades. Not just intact, but fully and perfectly operational! Hats off to such products and their manufacturers.  They were build to last... unlike new products which appear fancy, but built to last the least amount of time!

The phrase, 'Old is gold' hold a great amount of truth in it.  

Attract rather than chase

 One of the only quotes I've ever had as a desktop wallpaper was the following quote: 

Of late I've realised it a perfect summary of what I've been trying to tell for quite sometime about the way we operate and seek funds. Most of us seek funds with only a concept in mind - never tested, never really the need (that's the real sin!) and never out of genuine concern for the poor but mostly to fan our desire to 'work'.  Instead of that, the best and the proper way is to identify the need, and start with something small, with whatever is at hand!  Let others see that noble and qualitative work you do, with the meagre resources you have and then they'll naturally pitch in!  If not with tons of financial resources, with what they have or can.  Most importantly, people for and WITH whom you are doing this apostolate will own it. 

Attract rather than chase!!! 

Windows 7 to 10, with an old key

 I had thought that a windows activation key is valid for any version of Windows. In other words, if I had a Windows 7 version and I extracted the windows key from it and then swapped or attempted a fresh install of Windows 10, I could use the same windows key. But Windows has for sometime now, blocked using windows 7 or 8 key to directly activate new windows 10 installation. 

But there is a way to work around that too. 

Basically the windows key is tied to the motherboard and not the HDD or the SSD. 

The trick is to digitalize the key, from within windows 7 

1. Upgrade from within w7 to w10... here
2. After upgrade, and once on the w10 desktop, connect to the net and go to windows activation (Settings>Security>Activation). This should read as 'W is activated with a digital license'
3. This digitalizes the license and links the license to your motherboard, recognizing your laptop with a genuine w10 license
4. Physically swap your hdd with an ssd
5. Install w10 using your bootable drive and when prompted to feed in the activation key, skip it to say you don't have the key
6. After the w10 installation is done, connect to the net and w10 connects to the net to recognize your laptop has a digital key on your motherboard and activates the key

Basically, learnt that the key is linked mostly to the motherboard rather than the ssd. 

PS: The key is hardwired to the system!  One cannot use a key on another system, unless the key is bought separately and did not come pre-installed with the system. 

Doves

 A couple of months ago I noticed a dove carrying twigs to build its nest right in our Provincial house, lobby.  That too on the small stand close to the ceiling used to place the internet modem!  I tried to shoo it away a couple of times.  Mostly frightened that they'd mess up the modem and internet connectivity.  And I took it for granted that it would not continue building there given that the junction is almost always busy.  It has the reception.  The photocopier is in there.  The children coming for their daily classes sit there. And it is practically the path most used by any and everyone coming into the house!  

I was wrong!  The doves did build their nest and two weeks ago I saw two tiny heads popping out of that pedestal!  There was barely any nest as such!  And since the last couple of days, I noticed the two tiny ones have already grown feathers and are now already taking their first flights! 

In spite of my reluctance, I'm in a way happy to see birds build their nest in our homes. It is a sign of blessing and tranquility for me. Invariably there are different kinds of birds building their nests inside the quadrangle, around the lawn.  Most often in the bushes around the lawn (white-browed wagtail), twice (doves, again) on the LED focus lamp on the first floor, at times in the creepers at the Chapel corner (sparrows) or outside the Secretary's office. 

Chandur history (early years)

 A brief history about our Salesian apostolate at Chandur... 

Fr Koshy Thomas and Fr Muthalakuzhiyil Sebastian were the first Salesians to arrive in the diocese of Nalgonda, at the request of Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel PIME.  The offer of the Parish of Bhimanapally was made by the Bishop to the Salesian provincial, Fr Thomas Thayil through a letter dated 4 April 1981. In the same letter, it is clear that the had already approached the Salesian Sisters too to welcome them to the Diocese.  Although he was offering us the parish of Bhimanapally, by this time already, it is evident that the Bishop had earmarked Chandur for a college and that this was his vision to have it as a Salesian base (with Salesians and FMAs).  The same letter of the Bishop also states that his decision to offer the parish of Bhimanapally was not without opposition and criticism.  But him being a zealous pastor, he was clear that if the Diocese was to truly and deeply grow, the presence of the religious was a must.  

Prior to this written communication, as early as 1979, the initially proposed site at Chandur and the parish of Bhimanapally were shown to the Salesians.  Fr UV Mathew, then economer of the Bangalore province, Fr John Lens, a Provincial Council member and Fr Emprayil Mathew, then based in Vijayawada first visited the two proposed sites in Vijayawada (Ibrahimpatnam and Guntupalli). From there they drove to the Bishop's house in Nalgonda and the Bishop himself accompanied and showed the Salesian team the plot in Chandur and the already existing parish of Bhimanapally.  

And so it was that in May 1981, the two Salesians were sent by Fr Thayil to Bhimanapally.  The then Parish Priest Fr Casiraghi was a good friend of the Salesians and helped us settle in.  The two Salesians were in the Parish from May 1981 to May 1985. In 1985 both Koshy and Sebastian were transferred and Fr Devasy (of happy memory) was posted as the Parish Priest. Koshy went to Guntur and Sebastian was moved to... ?. Fr Devassy continued the good work at Bhimanapally for more than a year.  Then in 1986-87, the Salesians decided to pull out of Bhimanapally and Fr Devassy was transferred elsewhere.  I guess this decision to hand over the Parish back to the diocese was purely to focus our personnel and energies on Chandur; there was no reason other than that.  In fact, the people of the parish too wanted us to continue and there was nothing untoward that would have pushed us to hand back the Parish to the Diocese.  With that ended the Bhimanapally chapter!

During the first year of our presence in the diocese itself the exploration of initiating a college was also underway.  The land offered to us by the Bishop, in Chandur for the college was near the bus stand.  A plot measuring little less than 7 acres.  However, when the Salesians visited the place and with the intention of preparing the ground for the Salesian residence, hostel and college, found that the plot had no source of water.  Hence another plot of land, measuring 10 acres was assigned to the Salesians by the Bishop.  That is where we ultimately set up base in 1985.  

In 1984 the diocese of Nalgonda was 8 years old and during one of their meeting held on 14 November 1984 the dire need of a college in the diocese to specifically cater to the Catholic students of the region was vocally made and recorded. This was a long simmering need that was openly acknowledged and in response to that need, it was agreed by the Diocesan council to invite the Salesians to open a college in Chandur.  This request was made by Bp Mathew Cheriankunnel in a letter dated 18 November 1984 addressed to Fr Thomas Thayil, the then Salesian Provincial of Bangalore.  He requested the Salesians to start the college by June 1985 at Chandur. 

By April or May of 1885, Fr Malayati Jacob was assigned to Chandur to initiate the college and was on the ground.  He was assisted by Fr Koshy in the first couple of months of that intervening period of March to June 1885.  Fr Koonananickal Jose reached Chandur as the administrator in June 1885.   

Hard work and personal witness

 Call it coincidence or serendipity.  Before leaving for the MPE meet in Delhi, Dc Banka Sagar was sharing one of his experience while during practical training in Manoharabad.  Prior to joining the Salesians, he said he used to once in a way work at construction sites, especially while putting in the RCC slab.  When in the novitiate, they was some renovation work going on and the sand unloaded by the lorry needed to be taken up a floor or two. Sagar spoke to the Master and the Contractor and agreed to do the shifting for a price of Rs 5000.  He got the novices one evening and completed the work.  They used that money for a special meal for the community. 

While in Delhi, the Salesian Province of Dimapur shared a practice in vogue in one of its remote rural mission station school, where the school monthly fees is about Rs 700 or so. That's a day's wage for labour in that part of the country.  With most parents being poor labourers or farmers, rather than insisting with them to pay the fees on time, some Salesian at some time in the past proposed a day's labour in exchange for a month's school fee.  So those parents or sometime grown up students themselves who wish to pay their monthly fee through work, instead of cash, collectively work on the Salesian farm on a chosen day.  The farm work progresses, the parents are happy that they need not give their meagre income to the school, children continue their studies uninterrupted for want of school fee payment!  A win-win situation for all. 

Reflecting on these two narrations, I was wondering how many of us Salesians and boys will not mind some such undertaking.  In a month, take up some work in some ongoing work in the neighbourhood, just for a day or max two.  That too a holiday or free day.  Use that amount for something noble of the house: fees of someone unable to pay the fees, salary of one staff for a month, purchase of a small equipment or gadget for the smooth running of the institution, cover some sick students medical bill... any such NEED of the house.  Of course, the Salesian should be the heart and soul of this initiative and undertaking!  Not that he is the first one to resist hard work or shun manual labour!  

It is easy to misinterpret this initiative or thought as a fund-raising gimmick.  The earned amount is only an auxiliary outcome.  The bigger goal is respect for labour and collective effort at addressing communal needs. Most of us are used to getting our needs met by others labour.  My bigger issue is how we treat our boys who share our residence and food.  We get funds and donations in their name, but most of it is spent for our wants (not necessarily needs). If only boys and our students see us passionately striving for their well being, not as outsiders or as different from them, but as truly their 'brothers' and 'fathers', they will not mind cleaning the sewage of the town.  I've seen them fight to do that dirty job, just because I felt that it should be cleaned and I was ready to jump in to do it.  

MPE Rewind 2026

 I've been wanting to pen my learning from the recently concluded Mission Poverty Eradication (MPE) Rewind 2026 meeting held in Delhi.  I purposely kept delaying it to achieve some sort of objectivity and fairness (historical distance!), rather than let my reflection be moved primarily by emotion. 

While I truly still feel, a virtual meeting would have sufficed, but to be fair, I cannot but appreciate the meeting content.  Rather than come without a set agenda and let things unfold, the meeting was aimed at collating the efforts of the last one year, across the provinces of south Asia.  So the best was that preparation done.  We did not walk into the meeting, arms swinging.  Each province had to prepare two definite presentations and a video. So, in that sense, there was much effort and planning and thought put into the meeting itself. 

What I'd sincerely appreciate is a little more of openness and synodal approach towards the whole enterprise.  This is about the methodology at work of the whole initiative rather than the meeting per se.  I somehow sense a strong suspicion underlying the initiative, that most Salesians are against this endeavour.  That outlook really hampers the owning up of the undertaking because much of it depends on involvement and commitment.  When people tend to feel emotionally hurt, the tendency is to either resist or stay aloof - both of which are foolish and immature reactions.  Neither of which is helpful for the dissemination and imbibing of a noble initiative like MPE.  

That said, I see the potentiality and the ultimate goal that this undertaking strives to achieve: an attitudinal and strategic change in the way we exercise our ministry, focusing our attention consciously on the poorest. 

God's love for young people

 One particular statement of Fr Fabio Attard, the Rector Major, during his talk to us in Delhi in the context of the meeting on Mission Poverty Eradication struck me: 

Let not the stories of Don Bosco distract you or keep you from knowing THE story of Don Bosco.  

He was challenging us to get to know the real spirit and mind of the man whom we claim to the Father of youth, the founder of the SDBs.  Not to being satisfied with knowing tits and bits of his life and works and trying to imitate those.  To know Don Bosco is to know his mind and his whole life story as one.  To be driven by what moved him most and best: God's love for young people. 

They are celebrating!

 For those who think they are smart, they will sooner than later find someone who will outsmart them, that too in a most humble and hilarious manner. 

Most recently during our table conversations, I heard of the following incident involving Fr VG Mathew.  He originally hailed from Chennai Province but moved around the other Indian Provinces before settling for good in Bangalore Province.  He was certainly not an easy character!  

One day he approached the then vice-provincial, Fr Koonan Thomas stating that he would like a small celebration in his honour.  The occasion being him completing 25 years of his moving from Chennai Province to the Bangalore Province.  To which, Fr Thomas immediately replied, "Why should we celebrate. The Chennai Province is celebrating!" 

Decided forum

 I was part of a two day meeting recently. Most of the meeting comprised of presentations and videos of various achievements and strategies of the various provinces across the region.  However, there were two sessions, in the afternoons, titled 'Open Forum'. 

Most of the participants were familiar with one another, and attending this programme for the second time in as many years.  As for me, I was attending this gathering for the first time, outside the Province. At one point, during the Open forum, I made a proposal citing a similar effort already underway, as the same initiative proposed earlier in the day.  I did not oppose the initiative proposed or negate the plan.  All that I proposed was that we could converge efforts and minds, because the methodology and the end result were exactly - EXACTLY - the same!  

However, what happened immediately after I made the proposal was really something I was not prepared for.  The reaction to that proposal soon made it clear to me that the planned initiative and the whole meeting was a highly isolated and individual effort.  This enterprise spanned everything but did not want anyone or anything else to touch it - leave alone, assist or impact it.   

Far from being a Open forum, it appeared to me as a 'Decided Forum'! 

Different purposes

 On my recent flight from Hyderabad to Delhi, I couldn't but pay attention to the in-flight announcements, especially by the Captain and the flight crew head.  While I barely could understand what the Captain spoke, the crew head's message was a little more understandable.  I couldn't help but compare the announcements with newsreading. 

A newsreader spells out the words in order for the hearer to grasp and understand.  An inflight announcement is to fulfill an obligation.  The former's whole endeavour is to articulate the message in as clear way as possible.  The latter has no such responsibility to articulate a communication (flight safety and convenience, being the priorities).  

Output to outcome!

 I'm attending the Mission Poverty Eradication, Rewind 2026 episode in Delhi since yesterday. 

Among the few significant aspects that the learnings of the two year enterprise that have struck me, the one that really caught my attention is the following fact: reflection. 

Although not still clear of the focus of this initiative, at least in terms of the methodology and procedure, more than the goal, I should say I'm fully with the ultimate purpose of this initiative: that we need to focus our attention on the poorest of the poor. 

Another aspect: Shifting from output to outcome.  The shift from asking "How many have we trained?" (output) to asking, "What has changed in the lives of those we have trained?" (outcome)

Morning miracle

 On 8 September 2026, the birthday of Mother Mary, three miracles happened in my own personal life: 

1. I woke up (thanks be to God, for the gift of life!) 
2. I woke up, by myself, without the alarm ringing (that has rarely happened!) 
3. I woke up, by myself, in time for Mass (that's the real miracle!)

Values and context in Vocation Promotion

 For quite some time a thought has been doing the rounds in my own mind, with regard to vocation promotion.  In particular, vocation promotion by myself, close at home!  I've been asking myself if I'd feel comfortable and confident to invite my own nephew or niece to join the Salesians, as a Priest or Brother and Sister.  

To be honest, I am neither comfortable nor confident in offering that invitation.  Nonetheless, I would still not mind speaking about this possibility to them, but with a rider: Join, only if you are willing to be true to your basic values and not fold up to the pressures which are in plenty and enticing too!  

Looking back and counting my blessings, especially those which have helped me keep myself steady and strong, I count the values inculcated in me by my parents and the context in which this was done as one of the most powerful one. While my parents hard work and determination was inspirational, their struggles were not hidden from my brother and I.  Their example and the financial situation of the times helped me grow without being shy of engaging in hard manual work.  

While I have no doubt about the values my nephew and niece witness at home, I seriously wonder if they are used to living a hard difficult life, not just without moaning about it, but joyfully embracing it as an opportunity for growth. That they may actually embrace the challenge is a possibility; but I also fear our present comfort level in the religious life is too enticing and tempting. 

I also need to remind myself that a vocation is initially God's call. So He who calls, also equips! 

AI and the mosquito bat

 A few months ago, I bought a tennis bat sold on street corners to kill mosquitoes. Those who have used these bats know that this can be electrically charged and used to 'shock and awe' mosquitoes.  However, prior to this purchase and use, I've spent days and months and years killing mosquitoes with hands... at times with just one hand. And I was good at this hand-killing!! 

But of late I noticed, that my hand-killing skill has gone dull or weak.  Relying on the electric bat has significantly reduced my reliance on using hands alone to catch and kill mosquitoes.  What began as an added tool, soon became the only 'skill' I knew.  

I guess this same is what can be applied to incessant use of AI in life and works. Using the support of AI certainly enhances the quality of our work; but relying solely on AI for any specific task or all tasks, severely hampers natural skills and talents.  

The calculator was an additional tool to help us calculate large numbers and figures.  Unfortunately, some of us now reach for the calculator to calculate 8 times 8!! Heavy and total reliance on the calculator has divested us of our ability to calculate even simple sums and mathematical calculations.  Let it not be said of our generation that complete reliance on AI has cost us our ability to think and reflect.  

Shrinking attention span

 The human capacity for paying attention has been shrinking rapidly, furthered to a great extent by the great advances made in communication technology.  

In cricket, Test matches running into 5 days were the craze.  Then came the One-day matches.  That transition took some time.  But the next phase of T20 was quick and brutal.  While those who love cricket genuinely and play the game know the worth of a Test match endurance and quality, most spectators would any day prefer a T20 game over a Test. 

In the entertainment field there were long movies, screened only in theatres.  That was the only place one could watch movies.  Then came the television and other platforms where one could watch old movies from the comfort of one's living room.  Then came sweeping the 'reels-era'. Now most people are addicted to scrolling reels on their mobile phones.  Not just in one's own living room, but anywhere and everywhere and every given time!  Movies lasted 2 to 3 hours. Now reels last not more than a minute.  

For information, one had to read newspapers.  Today printed newspapers are hardly subscribed for.  There are ample apps which provide 'news bits'. Just a para or a couple of lines.  That is sufficient.  From leading lengthy news articles to news slightly longer than the headlines, information grasping has shortened.  

The worse hit has been book-reading. Except, perhaps research scholars, and ardent book lovers, there are hardly any people who 'have the time' to read a book!  

More than the decline in attention span, the speed at which that span is declining is alarming.  Dopomine acceleration is indeed sabotaging the deepening of wisdom.  Information is today the biggest risk to knowledge and wisdom. 

Responsibility

 Some old friends who meet after a long gap, or those who care about me most, knowing my present responsibility in the Province, at times ask how is it going?  

Like every responsibility, this role too has its ups and downs. But I firmly believe and have lived out this responsibility like every and any other responsibility I've taken up.  This task is no different or special to me.  I've never craved for position or honour; so I don't have to constantly carry that burden of retaining the post or seeking approval.  But love giving tasks I take up, my best - at least most of the times! 

So, honestly, this role is just another of the responsibility.  I'd be giving my best, in any responsibility I would have been engaged with.  The only question I care about is, if I've giving this task my best. And that I can state, proudly, that I am! 

Having said that, one great blessing that I truly am grateful for is that due to this responsibility, I am gaining the experience of engaging in policy decision-making.  More than the decisions themselves, the rationale and the process that I let myself be guided by and what I push for.  That has been one truly great self-test.  Being able to affect policy decisions, have I let myself be guided by the heart and the head.  I'd say, more by the head than the heart.  But that is what this role demands too!  More head, than the heart.