Responsibility

 Some old friends who meet after a long gap, or those who care about me most, knowing my present responsibility in the Province, at times ask how is it going?  

Like every responsibility, this role too has its ups and downs. But I firmly believe and have lived out this responsibility like every and any other responsibility I've taken up.  This task is no different or special to me.  I've never craved for position or honour; so I don't have to constantly carry that burden of retaining the post or seeking approval.  But love giving tasks I take up, my best - at least most of the times! 

So, honestly, this role is just another of the responsibility.  I'd be giving my best, in any responsibility I would have been engaged with.  The only question I care about is, if I've giving this task my best. And that I can state, proudly, that I am! 

Having said that, one great blessing that I truly am grateful for is that due to this responsibility, I am gaining the experience of engaging in policy decision-making.  More than the decisions themselves, the rationale and the process that I let myself be guided by and what I push for.  That has been one truly great self-test.  Being able to affect policy decisions, have I let myself be guided by the heart and the head.  I'd say, more by the head than the heart.  But that is what this role demands too!  More head, than the heart.  

Infrastructure vs Empowerment

 In the last council I had to AGAIN speak strongly about rethinking our investment and the priorities of our mission.  

Most of our financial reserves and earnings are being funneled into buildings and renovations!  Truly a black hole!  I firmly believe that we should shift the emphasis on building people, rather than buildings!  

Investments on infrastructure are a trap.  The attention they need and the constant care that eats ones time, resources and energy is huge.  That's one of the biggest drawbacks of institutionalisation.  We never have 'enough' of buildings and institutions!  We first invest in construction, then in maintenance, then in renovation and constantly seek beautification!  Not even half of that is invested in, what I feel is the most essential: people!  Skills, training, education, creativity, thinking... these need and demand attention.  That should be what we Salesians should be pouring ourselves (and our resources) into.  And for most of these, infrastructure is not the most essential; even if it is, very minimal of it would do.  

 I am convinced that if I truly offer QUALITY training or education, no matter how poor or little infrastructure I have, young people will soon realise the CONTENT and be the most direct beneficiaries.  

Dependence

 My recent reflection based on the FCRA cancellations and the upcoming concerns with foreign funding, brings back to the fore our reliance on projects, to the extent of crippling out initial passion to work by ourselves. The availability of funding actually makes us lazy!! 

Earlier our predecessors worked with a vision, firmly rooted in the context of the place. Their humble initiatives were not project-bound. They just did all they could. Their time, talents, will and available resources were the investment. Recognising this total and joyful commitment, donors offered their mite by way of financial resources. The focus of our early Salesians was not projects or funding; it was the apostolate. At no costs did they halt the apostolate, even when funding dwindled. God provided. 

Today we ride on the merit of their hard work. Our commitment levels are far lower than theirs. Riddled with personal agenda and selfishness, our apostolate is often a showcasing of ourselves rather than a genuine concern for the growth of the young people. In such a context, external funding only feeds our lethargy and selfishness. 

So I wonder, if my insistence on accountability is misplaced. The greater emphasis should be on discerning the real needs of the young, with a far sighted vision for their long term growth; earning by the sweat of one's brow; maximum utilisation of available resources rather than new resources - with a clear firm focus on the young and God, taking ones own wants out of the calculation. 

Everyone is leaving!

 An excerpt from the book of Teresia Bosco, on the life and works of Don Bosco... 

As I heard the following passage, I was struck by the first sentence itself! 

Can't you see that everyone is leaving us?

As soon as the work of the Congregation began, the external difficulties ceased and the internal ones began! 

I remember that once, seeing that many people were leaving, I took the liberty of saying to Don Bosco: "Don't you see that everyone is leaving us?" He replied: "God does not need anyone. It is we, his poor creatures, who must be grateful to him because he has called us! If we do not, God will call others, who will listen better to his voice. You will see how the Lord will provide to fill the vacancies! Look, I remember that when at the beginning of the Oratory I was abandoned by everyone, God showed me the church, the house, the clerics, the priests... People would ask me: "Where are they?". And I answered: "They are not there yet, but I can see them.  If you have patience, you too will see all these thing!" I asked: "But what kind of habit would these clerics and priests have?" He replied: "They must have the habit of virtue."  This answer convinced them that he was mad.  But in the meantime, came the Oratory, the church, the porticos, the clerics and the priests.  Then he said: "Don't doubt: we will overcome this difficulty too."

The caste menace

 I never really fathomed the extent of caste rot in the Province, till I actually started fulfilling my responsibility as the Economer of the Province. Over the last couple of years, I've seen first-hand the prejudices, anger, bitterness, irrationality and absolutely nonsensical idiocity of confreres swayed merely by caste affiliations.  It has amazed me how strong and deep are these connections that cloud the mind and heart so badly that one grows blind (and deaf, and dead and what not) to the most evident facts of life. If only some of these confreres (not even all such 'infected') were half so passionate about Christ and his Gospel values, we would have worked innumerable wonders.  Anything and everything is viewed and interpreted based on the caste equation. Even common sense, leave alone, spirituality and ethical reasoning, goes for a toss.  It is sickening!  

Religious life, or priestly ministry, or for that matter Christianity itself, has no place for caste.  As Salesians we either leave out the dirty caste politics out of our apostolate, or show ourselves out of the congregation and the Church.  

Rethinking apostolate

 We Salesians have earned for ourselves a reputation for 'going big'. Our interventions on behalf of the young are often mega events and involving large numbers.

Our buildings and homes are huge. So much so, that if we have a small residence or building we feel claustrophobic - the young therein are absolutely not bothered by the size of the building though! 

Perhaps this has been one of our characteristic style of operating. But we need to realise that we have huge multiple buildings but no children therein! If we do, they are so few that even if we allot a room for each, we will still have rooms to spare! We may still be blessed with 6-7 digit figure project funding, but those projects define our apostolate; not the need of the place or the poor that define our mission. 

Sooner than later we will need to radically rewire ourselves, our attitude and our approach to see apostolate as disjoint from buildings, projects, and a 'me-first' outlook. Move from 'going big' to 'going deep'.

Don Bosco's boys spilled all over the place and then he built bigger places; he didn't build mega houses and then look for boys to fill the house!

Our time and lives

In our fast changing times and lives, we seem to be living in a paradox. 

In our times, where the funeral matters more than the dead. 

The wedding ceremony is more important than the couple or the love between them and their families. 

The curriculum, rank and name of the school matters more than the child or the student. 

Building large and beautiful edifices is more urgent and necessary than having qualified and competent teachers. 

Having several social media portfolios and channels is more important than having genuine friends or clear conscience. 

The brand of our phone matters more than the quality and content of our conversations. 

Being unambitious

 Last night it struck me that in religious life, ambition has no place.  Ambition in the sense of personal ambition, wherein I am both the focus and reason. 

Being the Economer of the province I have asked myself right at the beginning, if I have any plans and ambitions to be achieved during my term in office. Plans, yes. Ambition, no!  

The biggest difference between ambition and commitment, I feel is when the ego comes into picture and worse still (or always is the case) at the cost of the other.  And as a Salesian religious, if God and the poor, the young are not the focus and reason of my every thought, word and action, then I'm not a genuine religious at all.  The yeast is to leaven the flour and ultimately become bread, not to stand out as yeast apart from the bread!  

Strangely enough, the first reading of today, as we commemorate the feast of St Francis de Sales is this: working for peace and justice, instead of being filled with jealousy and ambition. 

Study for?

 I came across the following passage in the Biographical Memoirs of Don Bosco (BM, XVII, 356)... quite direct and true: 

Don Bosco considered teaching catechism so much the core of his mission, that in one of his dreams the best way the devils could think of for destroying the congregation was to make the Salesians study for the sake of learning and attaining fame.  Then they would give up the festive oratories, teaching catechism and educating poor youth.  This would cut the congregation at its roots and destroy it. 

Once again, a radical challenge to stay committed to the poor, the young!  And of course, the warning about the real purpose of our study: For you (young people), I study...! 

Biting more than we can chew

Today was a rather challenging day... in spite of my natural tendency to be critical, I decided to enter into the meeting and discussion of the day (a particular apostolate at a centre) with an open attitude.  I did tell myself repeatedly that I needed to be optimistic and encouraging; rather than obstructive or pessimistic. 

Nonetheless, it was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to be and do, that I ended up being and doing.  I really had to clip wings, curtail fantasies and get our feet back on the ground.  And I'm not in any way disappointed with myself, even though I broke my own resolution for the day!  In a way, looking back (even though it is not much of a historical and temporal distance that I can claim) I'm happy to have played the devil's advocate. 

My basic principle was (has always been): Dream big, but start small.  And from experience in the Salesian life, all the more in the last three years as the Economer, I've learnt that we Salesians are good at 'wasting money'.  Not in a bad sense or in malice. But purely due to misplaced prioritisation.  

I firmly believe and have seen it in action (with regard to the school here at Bandlaguda) that when we embark on a new mission or apostolate, we need to build ourselves first; our quality, our expertise, our attitude, in order to make a real impact on the beneficiaries.  Once we actually deliver a quality service, we do not need to resort to campaigning or pleading for people to come to us, or avail themselves of our services.  They will be a queue eager to learn from us.  At that point, nothing else matters (lack of extensive of fanciful infrastructure, for example). 

If we deliver QUALITY, people WILL come to us for enriching themselves.  We do not need to beg, plead, campaign, canvas, advertise... And if we do have to resort to these, then it is a clear sign that we have fallen short of qualitative standards.  

Coming back to the start (of an apostolate), begin small, but with the best of quality (and I do not mean show). Riding on the success of that small initiative, then scale it up or widen it to reach more people or diverse services.  In the meantime we have gained the first hand experience of knowing and handling the challenges, so that we can avoid mistakes and build on our strengths.  

Working hard vs Working with a purpose

Jesus' mission of sending out the 72 disciples to the places he himself intended to visit, with the clear instructions as to what to do, and not to do, in practically each and every possible situation has a strange twist to it at the end of that passage.  This is the gospel of the coming Sunday (Luke 10; early verses).  

He sends out the disciples with clear instructions; a specific list of do's and don'ts - a perfect SEPP, with lines of action (as said by Sarath).  However, when they return and recall the great things they were able to achieve, (the evaluation of the same SEPP!!), Jesus states something he has not said a word about earlier! What they have achieved, and for which he congratulates them, is something he never spoke to them about!! 

Jesus tells them not to rejoice because they were able to work miracles, see Satan fall from heaven, heal the sick, cure diseases and what not; rather he tells them to be happy because their names are written in heaven!  Now that's not something he told them about before their departure.  

I take it as a lesson not to get lost in the immediate results or achievements; the petty victories or even the activities we so meticulously plan, implement and are proud of carrying out. The real progress and achievement is in setting in motion a PROCESS; a deep rooted change or IMPACT that works as a ripple effect, well after any of us has stopped working or even left the place altogether.  

The disciples being with Jesus learnt that he was not just DOING good things; there was something deeper and greater he was working at.  When following his steps, they subconsciously fulfilled what he had in mind; now he was calling their attention to becoming conscious of that purpose, while continuing doing the good things! 

Trust

Trust is something that is earned. It is not merited purely because one is a priest or a religious. At times there is this tussle in some of our encounters where confreres ask, ‘Do you trust that lay person or his word over and above your own confreres?’ Unfortunately, there is no relation between trust and one’s responsibility or role in an institution. Just because one is a lay person, does not make his or her word less authentic than a priest or nun in the same institution. It is not about one’s state of life that determines whether one is trustworthy or not; rather it is the life lived and the work ethics followed that makes one trustworthy.

Priorities and finance

 We are at the fag end of the academic year and at this time we usually end up our evaluations and look forward to the next academic year... drawing up plans, strategies... (hopefully) based on the evaluation of the present year! 

One of my long standing criticism of our own functioning as a council is that we do not have a list of priorities to guide us.  Most of our decisions, policies and actions are ad hoc, on a day-to-day basis.  The most serious issue with this is that while we do a lot of good, we end up making no significant progress.  It is like running on a treadmill and expecting to reach the next town!!  Only when we have a clear set of priorities that guide us in our decision-making, and everyone, every sector, every community, also works towards the SAME priorities, albeit in their own ways, can we actually gauge the progress. 

The other challenge that I face is the unhappy marriage of priorities and finances.  I understand that procuring finances can be one of our priorities; but if a priority is linked up so badly to finances, that without the budgeted amount, the priority will not be achievable at all, then my question is 'Is that a priority at all?'  Because a priority is something that is a cause of grave concern, and if overcoming that is entirely based on finances, then finance is a priority, not the concern itself!! 

Even if finances are required (certainly so), they are to be planned for.  It is not that I have a priority to be addressed and someone else should give me the funds for it!! The procurement of the needed funds too is part of the lines of action, addressing the priority concern. 

Last, but perhaps the most important point: in religious life, most of our priorities are (supposed to be) spiritual needs or concerns.  Even if speaking of priorities in our active apostolate, we are gifted with extensive expertise, years of formation and an army of fellow confreres and having all of these yet to wait for money to start (and do) some priority tasks is a sin! We do not turn these gifts into tools and means.  When that does not happen, I question if we do have priorities at all? 

Salesian priorities

 I came across this beautiful description of the shift in our Salesian approach towards young people, in the last General Chapter GC 28, p. 38 (AGC 433): 

We do not doubt this truth of the young people themselves, a truth we recognised at the same time in the Chapter hall: “They ask us for time and we give them space; they ask us for relationships and we provide them with services; they ask us for fraternal life and we offer them structures; they ask us for friendship and we provide activities for them. All this commits us to rediscovering the riches and potential of the ‘family spirit’”.[CG28, Priority of the Salesian mission among today’s young people. First nucleus, no.5]

I think this para exactly sums up what we should be focusing on (spending time, building relationships, developing friendships...), rather than what we are presently engaged in (creating spaces where we Salesians are missing, offering services, structures, and activities). 

Imitation

At times and in some confreres and communities there is this bug of imitation... not of the challenging or conviction aspect of others but of the grandeur and splendour of things!  That guy has remodelled his office, so let me also renovate my office and go for false ceiling.  He has gone to Hyderabad this month, so let me also take off.  That community has put up interlocking bricks along the drive, so let's do the same. In that community, they gave us each a t-shirt for this celebration, so let's give each a pair of branded trousers this time! My rector has taken 15,000/- this month for his expenses, so will I. 

This is precisely the offshoot of a misplaced focus: when our attention and priorities shift from Jesus of the Gospel and the poor, every glittering thing appears good and necessary. It is a matter of getting our priorities right. 

Needs before wants... all the more as religious, being generous and joyful in placing the needs of the poor before my personal luxury and desires.  

Person and his/her growth before setting my own legacy in stone (through a building or property). 

Christ and his values, before my own fancy plans and eogistic castles. 

Initiating a process of change, rather than complete an event with all pomp and glamour. 

Purpose driven initiatives

Last month Fr Biju, the regional councillor for South Asia, was in the Province and as part of his visitation of the Province, he gave a talk to the leaders of the communities and commissions during which he spoke of 4 components of any system.  Somehow it made much sense to me... perhaps because of my own insistence on right prioritisation and the need of a focused goal setting. 

The four components he spoke of were: 

1. Purpose
2. Organise
3. Process
4. Resources

Besides the listing, the order is also important. 

The PURPOSE is always shared and inspirational.  Without a clarity and consensus about this, all our efforts, however noble and serious, will only yield in scattered results and not a consistent useful trend.  This is something that needs to arise from within, as does it drive from within.  Therefore the setting of standards, quality, growth, change... 

With regard to ORGANISATION, boundaries do exist, but are permeable. And certainly the need of collaboration between specialisations. 

The PROCESS should be bound by rules, but with the minimum necessary. Fundamental policies need to be in place, with the possibility of local customisation. 

As for RESOURCES, they need to be used with great flexibility.  This requires 'variety'.  Careful planning for investment for developing new capabilities, innovation and not merely for sustenance. 

Religious apostolate

As religious our apostolate is taking up tasks that need to be done, and there’s no one doing it. We undertake works that are urgent and necessary but none willing to do. Doing what everyone is doing, especially if they are doing it better than us, is no charism. That’s the corporate mode or race. Not a religious commitment. 

Secondly taking up something new is not for the sake of ‘doing something new’ but because there is a felt need and our apostolate is a response to that need. 

Contextualising this for us Salesians I ask myself: As SDBs what is the need that is demanding our intervention, especially in the youth sphere? 

Whatever the need I could think of (work for migrants, those addicted to drugs or social media, those struggling with mental health issues, young couples...), it struck me that our response necessarily does not mean starting something totally new. It mostly implies transforming existing modes of apostolate into something relevant. Perhaps it is easier to start something new, rather than adapt obsolete traditions and works to something relevant for the day and today’s need.

 

What's my real need?

 The first reading of the day offers us a glimpse of why and on what basis was Jesus' coming as messiah read - or misinterpreted - by the people of His time. That he was looked upon as a saviour, a political liberator of the Jews from the rule of the Romans should not come as a surprise given the history of what the Jews have all along been fed.  

The reading from the book of Judges tells of the circumstances in which Samson is born and what the angel tells his mother prior to his conception and birth... 

"As for the son you will conceive and bear, no razor shall touch his head, for this boy is to be consecrated to God from the womb. It is he who will begin the deliverance of Israel from the power of the Philistines."

Moreover I do understand the angst of the Jews, especially those who felt burdened by the yoke of the Romans - and perhaps their own religious elders.  One would naturally want to be delivered and saved from such an existential risk and danger, than seek spiritual emancipation. Given this situation, spiritual emancipation appears more of a luxury in comparison to the basic question of survival posed by other existential circumstances.  To a person on the brink of starvation, if one were to offer a choice between food and the Eucharist, what would the person choose?  I certainly would choose food.  That the Eucharist is also food, and all that theology comes only later.  Not at that moment of extreme hunger and need.  

Choice

The liturgical commemoration of today and tomorrow are very much related.  Today we have John the Baptist who loses his head (literally) for standing up to what he believes to be true and right.  Tomorrow we have Jeremiah complaining to Yahweh that he cannot resist him!! Try as he may, he cannot but speak His word and be a prophet.  

One thing common in both John the Baptist and Jeremiah, is that they end up paying a heavy price for their adherence to what they believe as true.  Like Jeremiah, there could have been moments in the life of John too when he could have just walked away.  Given up all that he felt deep within, and taken the easy path - the path chosen by most people, anyway!  None would have noticed. None would have accused him of 'being normal'. Yet, neither of them gives in to that temptation, that desire, that feeling.  They continue living a life, not really chosen by them but they find themselves embracing it none the same! 

Rationally this is difficult to explain.  They did not choose to be the 'odd ones out' in the first place.  But by carrying on, are they really consenting to that life-style?  Surely there is more than the mind here at play.  Difficult to get the mind around it.  The heart finds its way! 

Love, God and others, as the essence

Post-resurrection there is a great interest in what the apostles have to say about the Christ.  People who had heard vague stories about Jesus, now hear directly from the apostles and are convinced of what they hear.  And so the obvious question: "What should we now do?"

Peter's reply, "Be baptised.  Repent for your sins and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." How did he and the early Christians zero in on this baptism?  That Peter was calling for repentance is understandable, since he attributed the death of Jesus to the Jews.  And therefore, the prescription for atonement for this sin, appears logical. Whatever way the Holy Spirit inspired them, the sorrow of Jesus' death and his absence would surely be part of their present state of mind. 

Am wondering what if Peter had responded to that zealous question of the Jews with a reply of this sort: "Love God and one another as Jesus taught and showed us!"  First things first!  Baptism initiates one into the Christian faith, but is not the cornerstone of Jesus' life and teaching.  If only we had really emphasised the essence of Jesus' message (love) from the beginning, we would have had less of rites and rituals and focussed more on our existing expression of love.  This is not to say that Christianity has not really trodden the path of love all these centuries.  It certainly and very visibly has.  Only that at times we have let the rubrics define what Christianity is rather than a genuine love - and this is mostly the fault of us, priests and religious!