Hobbies vs Apostolate

 The other day we had a meeting of the Leaders and in the Varia points as part of the Agenda there was a discussion about one of our earliest communities.  The point raised was, what can we do at _____, given that it is one of our earliest Salesian initiatives in the Province?  The whole idea is triggered by this misinterpretation of 'Master plan'.  The itch for this is to see what NEW can and should be done, because we are already there for donkeys years. 

Sitting and listening to the proposals and ideas being proposed, I made no attempt whatsoever at getting involved.  Several months or more than a year ago itself I had made my stand clear:  Our 'Master plan' is primarily in response to a local need.  What more we need to do for the young people of the locality is what needs to be our guiding principle and criteria.  And that should not begin and end with infrastructural additions.  Rather it should be initiatives which are tested and if found worthy of investment (financial and personnel) time and our commitment will tell.  

However, since then the discussion of a 'master plan' is in the air, without any consideration of what is the need that we are addressing.  The whole focus is on what 'we want to do'!!!  But is that what we want, the same as what is NEEDED by the young people?? Secondly, the whole craze is to have new buildings! What for? The same things we already are doing!  So my basic question is what improvement have we done or wish to achieve, other than new buildings??  

Sitting in an ac hall we discuss matters about what we want.  That's deciding on hobbies, not finalisation of apostolate! 

Drops or floods?

 A few years ago there was an itch to engage in new ministries, new types of apostolate and be creative in reaching out those in need.  While the concept in itself looks appealing, there was a lurking danger: the focus was on trying something new, not on the purpose!  

Often we try to multiply or increase the number of services.  But the fact is not about the number of services or the creativity with which we engage in the outreach, although each of them has a significant impact, but about making our outreach impactful.  Rather than do a hundred and one unrelated good things, which do not have a direct impact on the lives of people, which create only a temporary or illusory effect, the attempt to be make our apostolate integral.  Rather than carry out the ministry as piecemeal, or scattered or segmented, the effort should be to make it unified and complementary. 

We do all that we do, with a singular focus and purpose.  Without that primary binding motivation and guiding principle, all our efforts remain scattered and like drops in the desert; while the efforts are proportionate to a flood in a desert!  

Desire and suffering

 The Buddhist philosophy directly and squarely places the blame of suffering on desire.  It is desire that is the root of all suffering.  Take desire off the equation, all suffering also ends.  

Although it may sound too dire or exaggerated, there is a great sense of wisdom in it.  The Buddhist thought rationally helps one understand this connection between human desire and untold suffering prevalent in the world, especially in one's own personal life. Therefore Buddha's own simple path: detachment.  No desire or attachment towards anything at all - not even detachment itself!  

The greater the plans and ambitions, the greater the toil and the consequent joy (on fulfilling the plan) or suffering (at failing to live out the plan).  And the comedy of human life is such that no matter what the outcome of the plan, we don't give up desiring!!  At the most, we desire something else.  But never do we totally renounce everything!  Perhaps this counter dimension is what Arthur Schopenhauer was driving at. 

These are the most rabid thoughts playing out on my mind, as we enter a week-long string of meetings.  We have mega plans, and I personally am almost certain that we are biting more than what we can chew.  So I'm not pinning my hopes on achieving much, leave along even to convince our confreres of half of what we want them to change or plan for this academic year.  Nonetheless, there is also a sense of calmness within, that what we are doing is truly a selfless animation for the good of the province. And that it is God's work, so he's actually responsible.  If he has other plans, I'd rather be open to his plan rather than stubbornly hold on to what I hold clear and sure. 

Forward looking

 One of the reasons our meeting go on and on is because we tend to focus on the past.  We keep repeating what happened, how it happened, why did it happen so, who was the cause (sometimes tracing it back to the series of causes, stopping just short of the Ultimate cause!), and so on.  While knowing the context in which things went on well or did not go on as expected and learning lessons is important for any evaluation, that shouldn't consume most of our time and energies.  We need to take stock of the facts and move on. We should focus on the future.  Planning our next move is more essential than prolonged dwelling on the bygone. Learning our lessons from the past and focusing greater attention on the future course of action, is integral to efficient planning. 

Fiasco in the making

 Most of the time we fail to plan. We are severely allergic to planning.  Even if and when we do, we do it so shoddily that we achieve nothing. By luck, (and by the hard work of some passionate lunatic) even if we do achieve something, for lack of a long-term vision, the little results fizzle out and we return to ground zero, sooner than later.  

The worse part of such an unplanned enterprise is that the whole endeavour not only does not cause any positive ripples (leave alone, impact) it also destroys all that has been built up or invested in, over the years. 

And the comedy of the whole process is that we, priests and religious, come out of it unscathed!! This whole failure does not pinch us a bit!! 

One of the root causes of it all is our allergy to planning.  Even when we attempt to do so, it barely has teeth. Most often it is wishful thinking, not a concrete SMART plan. And once prepared, the only thing the earns is dust.  That plan is never looked at, leave alone implemented or evaluated.  

Insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!

 This quote is often attributed to Albert Einstein.  Whoever may be the actual one who first decided to define insanity in such terms, is to be appreciated. 

Translating the word 'insanity' into the local telugu language sounds more powerful and apt! And there are quite a few Salesians who excel in this art of insanity.  But what qualifies some of us, more as perfectly insane is the stubbornness with which we justify doing the same.  Not even are we open to considering alternatives or possibilities or even an evaluation of the same. 

If Einstein were to have known some of these typical Salesians he would certainly have added another like to the same definition of insanity: Doling out money over and over again, without as much as a plan or effort, and expecting miracles to happen... that's a higher stage of insanity! 

Being unambitious

 Last night it struck me that in religious life, ambition has no place.  Ambition in the sense of personal ambition, wherein I am both the focus and reason. 

Being the Economer of the province I have asked myself right at the beginning, if I have any plans and ambitions to be achieved during my term in office. Plans, yes. Ambition, no!  

The biggest difference between ambition and commitment, I feel is when the ego comes into picture and worse still (or always is the case) at the cost of the other.  And as a Salesian religious, if God and the poor, the young are not the focus and reason of my every thought, word and action, then I'm not a genuine religious at all.  The yeast is to leaven the flour and ultimately become bread, not to stand out as yeast apart from the bread!  

Strangely enough, the first reading of today, as we commemorate the feast of St Francis de Sales is this: working for peace and justice, instead of being filled with jealousy and ambition. 

Missing out

 I've begun to realise that we often miss including or remembering to include the accessories and other tiny aspects of the bigger plans and projects. Every time we prepare and budget a project, we tend to miss out the small aspects that also cost and need finance!  We either take those needs for granted or at that time, feel that we can manage, without funding for them. 

Worst part of this issue is that the complementary part or item that is not listed costs as much as the whole project itself!! 

For example, we appeal for a solar power unit. But miss out calculating the cost of upgrading or replacing the transformer itself. 

We get an RO water plant; but end up paying the same amount for the accessories (pipes to the water outlets, water tanks, taps, motors, tin shed to cover it, exit pipes...) 

In our project proposal for a new building, we include only the construction costs; but fail to see the hidden costs, before, during and after the construction.  Even the ones directly related to construction, leave alone complementary or not related to construction.  Building permissions, land conversion, architects plans, demolishing and clearing existing sheds or rubble, water connection, non-salty water for curing and construction, 3-phase electricity connection, meter charges, transformer to the central console in the building accessories, lift (civil and equipment)... 

Jesus: In or out?

We had our monthly recollection this evening. Sitting before the Lord, in the Chapel at the Holy Spirit centre, I had the wisdom to ask the Lord, why was it that I wasn't able to plan and envision something for the next three years of my term in office.  After all, it was I who was insistent with the Council to set our priorities for the next three years.  And I was quite critical of the whole procedure and outcome. 

Looking back at the last three years as Economer, I wouldn't grade myself as having achieved anything significant.  Because I didn't set out to achieve anything grand!  I had clearly told myself when I accepted this role, that I wasn't the first, nor the last.  But I certainly would continue to be who I always strove to be.  So in that sense, I'm certainly not disappointed in what I've said or done.  

But today, talking to Jesus one thing struck me very powerfully.  Perhaps that's also got something to do with the next three years as well.  All that I've attempted is to get our basics or fundamentals right.  Of course, in finance and administration.  But I've also realised that these are still (even though our Province is more than 30 years old; and quite a few of us much more than that) found lacking.  Our financial and administrative inadequacies are not managerial, but mostly because of lacking fundamental religious values right. Or at times, human values right. Ok, I understand religious values are radically lived out human and Christian values.  And that's the main issue. 

So we are stuck in a rut.  We make no progress, because we are only going in circles, and that too at the periphery itself.  Neither deeper, nor wider!  So having a wider or grander vision is a bit of a challenge when one's foundation itself needs to be set right.  

But what touched me most, this evening, is perhaps the fact that I haven't really asked where and what does Jesus have to do with all of this.  In all my thoughts, plans, efforts He has never been part of it.  Not that He is not involved... He certainly has been blessing all our efforts and plans so very graciously. It is just that I have kept Him out.  So the question that is haunting me this evening is: what's the relevance and meaning of my religious life? Without Him being made part of my life and work, what meaning is my religious life?  Is being honest, good and hard working enough?  But for that I don't have to be a religious.  

The worst I feel is when I ask myself: Is it that I've not involved Jesus now, or that I've barely ever got him in the picture earlier as well?  

Proof of Concept (POC)

As part of our discussion today about revamping our approach and outlook of one of our skill training centres, I learnt some new technical aspects of the IT world.  

Most importantly I heard of the IT equivalent of what I've been blabbering about in my own broken English or religious language; namely, the idea of starting small, gaining experience and riding on the success of that initiative, scaling up or evolving it into something bigger and wider. 

In the IT market I learnt the same procedure is referred to as POC, Proof of Concept!  

Biting more than we can chew

Today was a rather challenging day... in spite of my natural tendency to be critical, I decided to enter into the meeting and discussion of the day (a particular apostolate at a centre) with an open attitude.  I did tell myself repeatedly that I needed to be optimistic and encouraging; rather than obstructive or pessimistic. 

Nonetheless, it was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to be and do, that I ended up being and doing.  I really had to clip wings, curtail fantasies and get our feet back on the ground.  And I'm not in any way disappointed with myself, even though I broke my own resolution for the day!  In a way, looking back (even though it is not much of a historical and temporal distance that I can claim) I'm happy to have played the devil's advocate. 

My basic principle was (has always been): Dream big, but start small.  And from experience in the Salesian life, all the more in the last three years as the Economer, I've learnt that we Salesians are good at 'wasting money'.  Not in a bad sense or in malice. But purely due to misplaced prioritisation.  

I firmly believe and have seen it in action (with regard to the school here at Bandlaguda) that when we embark on a new mission or apostolate, we need to build ourselves first; our quality, our expertise, our attitude, in order to make a real impact on the beneficiaries.  Once we actually deliver a quality service, we do not need to resort to campaigning or pleading for people to come to us, or avail themselves of our services.  They will be a queue eager to learn from us.  At that point, nothing else matters (lack of extensive of fanciful infrastructure, for example). 

If we deliver QUALITY, people WILL come to us for enriching themselves.  We do not need to beg, plead, campaign, canvas, advertise... And if we do have to resort to these, then it is a clear sign that we have fallen short of qualitative standards.  

Coming back to the start (of an apostolate), begin small, but with the best of quality (and I do not mean show). Riding on the success of that small initiative, then scale it up or widen it to reach more people or diverse services.  In the meantime we have gained the first hand experience of knowing and handling the challenges, so that we can avoid mistakes and build on our strengths.  

Working hard vs Working with a purpose

Jesus' mission of sending out the 72 disciples to the places he himself intended to visit, with the clear instructions as to what to do, and not to do, in practically each and every possible situation has a strange twist to it at the end of that passage.  This is the gospel of the coming Sunday (Luke 10; early verses).  

He sends out the disciples with clear instructions; a specific list of do's and don'ts - a perfect SEPP, with lines of action (as said by Sarath).  However, when they return and recall the great things they were able to achieve, (the evaluation of the same SEPP!!), Jesus states something he has not said a word about earlier! What they have achieved, and for which he congratulates them, is something he never spoke to them about!! 

Jesus tells them not to rejoice because they were able to work miracles, see Satan fall from heaven, heal the sick, cure diseases and what not; rather he tells them to be happy because their names are written in heaven!  Now that's not something he told them about before their departure.  

I take it as a lesson not to get lost in the immediate results or achievements; the petty victories or even the activities we so meticulously plan, implement and are proud of carrying out. The real progress and achievement is in setting in motion a PROCESS; a deep rooted change or IMPACT that works as a ripple effect, well after any of us has stopped working or even left the place altogether.  

The disciples being with Jesus learnt that he was not just DOING good things; there was something deeper and greater he was working at.  When following his steps, they subconsciously fulfilled what he had in mind; now he was calling their attention to becoming conscious of that purpose, while continuing doing the good things! 

Priorities and finance

 We are at the fag end of the academic year and at this time we usually end up our evaluations and look forward to the next academic year... drawing up plans, strategies... (hopefully) based on the evaluation of the present year! 

One of my long standing criticism of our own functioning as a council is that we do not have a list of priorities to guide us.  Most of our decisions, policies and actions are ad hoc, on a day-to-day basis.  The most serious issue with this is that while we do a lot of good, we end up making no significant progress.  It is like running on a treadmill and expecting to reach the next town!!  Only when we have a clear set of priorities that guide us in our decision-making, and everyone, every sector, every community, also works towards the SAME priorities, albeit in their own ways, can we actually gauge the progress. 

The other challenge that I face is the unhappy marriage of priorities and finances.  I understand that procuring finances can be one of our priorities; but if a priority is linked up so badly to finances, that without the budgeted amount, the priority will not be achievable at all, then my question is 'Is that a priority at all?'  Because a priority is something that is a cause of grave concern, and if overcoming that is entirely based on finances, then finance is a priority, not the concern itself!! 

Even if finances are required (certainly so), they are to be planned for.  It is not that I have a priority to be addressed and someone else should give me the funds for it!! The procurement of the needed funds too is part of the lines of action, addressing the priority concern. 

Last, but perhaps the most important point: in religious life, most of our priorities are (supposed to be) spiritual needs or concerns.  Even if speaking of priorities in our active apostolate, we are gifted with extensive expertise, years of formation and an army of fellow confreres and having all of these yet to wait for money to start (and do) some priority tasks is a sin! We do not turn these gifts into tools and means.  When that does not happen, I question if we do have priorities at all? 

The bigger larger picture

This morning during a particular meeting related to projects and plans, I got down to putting down all the various activities, possibilities and plans on one sheet of paper.  Just one excel sheet.  To see it all unfold within one frame was a great thrill. Just one frame, one page.  

That very exercise of putting several seemingly scattered tasks within one template and then collectively working out a strategy to take it forward was very satisfying and meaningful.  Personally when things sync and I'm able to see a larger bigger picture emerge from all the minute diverse activities we carry out, it gives me great joy.  

I'd rather see the bigger picture and then draw up the minute plans. That would be the ideal and the best way.  But at any given time, the other way around also works fine for me. 

On a practical note, I'm more and more getting to love the spreadsheet (excel)... for the diverse options and possibilities it offers. I think I need to take a crash course on it! 

Differentiating output, outcome and impact

Attending the workshop on understanding social impact management, I found myself at a loss and some topics going over my head.  Nonetheless I did grasp most of the points about project writing and related matters. Although the last session of the impact management on evaluation and stuff was too nuanced for me to understand. 

However, what surprised me was the availability of resources and methods of conceptualising and articulating a project proposal.  Among the participants, I may have been the only guy who was not from the Planning and developmental (PDO) works sector... although ironically  I'm supposed to be the director of our Province PDO. So quite a bit of it was new for me.  But looking around, I was surprised to see that there were others too who appeared to be hearing these things for the first time. 

One of my learning has been the distinction between output, outcome and impact, especially in the social work area. 

Although at several moments of the workshop I found myself deciding that I should delve more into this, I resisted the temptation. With my plate full and overflowing, I need to first get my act straight before taking up new hobbies! 

Planning criteria

Although I have decided not to talk about our SEPP (annual plan) and its process, nonetheless, I found the criteria stated in the Frame of Reference for the evaluation of the same something very meaningful. We are good at making plans - however, haphazard and useless they are.  But what we never dare to do is evaluate.  Perhaps it is linked with our planning itself. Primarily because they can never be evaluated!! 

Nonetheless, here are three criteria: 

1. Is the plan centred on the young, especially the poor?
2. Is it communitarian in nature, involving all the stakeholders? In other words, is the mission owned up, the responsibility shared? 
3. Is the plan relevant to reality? 

More than points for evaluation of a plan already in place, I feel these are good signposts to gauge the quality of our plan, prior to implementation itself. 

Purpose driven initiatives

Last month Fr Biju, the regional councillor for South Asia, was in the Province and as part of his visitation of the Province, he gave a talk to the leaders of the communities and commissions during which he spoke of 4 components of any system.  Somehow it made much sense to me... perhaps because of my own insistence on right prioritisation and the need of a focused goal setting. 

The four components he spoke of were: 

1. Purpose
2. Organise
3. Process
4. Resources

Besides the listing, the order is also important. 

The PURPOSE is always shared and inspirational.  Without a clarity and consensus about this, all our efforts, however noble and serious, will only yield in scattered results and not a consistent useful trend.  This is something that needs to arise from within, as does it drive from within.  Therefore the setting of standards, quality, growth, change... 

With regard to ORGANISATION, boundaries do exist, but are permeable. And certainly the need of collaboration between specialisations. 

The PROCESS should be bound by rules, but with the minimum necessary. Fundamental policies need to be in place, with the possibility of local customisation. 

As for RESOURCES, they need to be used with great flexibility.  This requires 'variety'.  Careful planning for investment for developing new capabilities, innovation and not merely for sustenance. 

Return to Don Bosco

The work of the reformation is not to go back to where our predecessors were, but to persevere on to where they were going. 

We had a couple of General Chapters and other significant reflections around the slogan, 'Return to Don Bosco'. I don't claim to have read them all or understood all of the little that I read! However, I wonder if the above quote found in the introduction to the book of Paul Tillich, The Courage to be (p. xxviii-xxix) would mean something for us too. As Salesians we look up not just to Don Bosco, but to all those Salesians who have lived after him.  As citizens, we may recall to mind all our freedom fighters, leaders, early sages and wise men who made a dent in the passage of time. 

Our predecessors were not backward looking adventurers. They were looking to the future; daring to risk, relying on their present. They wanted to be where we are (hopefully, if we got them right!). If they were mere conformists or simple blokes trying to live the ordinary, we wouldn't be here, least of all have this discussion. They were guided more by faith, or intuition (in non-religious terms), than by pure reason or context. They felt the urge, the itch to do more than what was otherwise universally considered 'enough'. Their aim was to do, to be, better. Looking back to them we draw inspiration from them, seek their courage, place ourselves in their ready-to-journey boots; not merely do what they did, repeat their formulas, study them in isolation from their times, imitate them, …

They followed him

The last line of the gospel this morning, left me wondering if the same call were to be given out today, how many would follow!  Leave alone, just drop everything, no goodbyes or settling affairs or  packing and what not... just follow.

The team fishing would have surely heard of Jesus.  They wouldn't have followed his instructions if he were not seen as someone whom they considered above normal.  Or else which fisherman would take instructions about fishing from a carpenter?  But this team did and when they realise for themselves, rather than the hearsay they relied on so far, that he was someone really special, they acknowledge him to be someone who is to be in better company than themselves.  Peter asks him to leave because they are not worthy to be in his presence.  Interestingly Jesus invites them to join him!  And when he invites, some of them follow him, right then and there! 

I wonder if we in our contemporary world have space for such a feeling of wonder, of being overwhelmed, of being called and promptly accepting.  We'd sit, reflect, consult, calculate, discuss, reason out, weigh the pros and cons, try to strike a bargain, ask a hundred and one questions... But Peter and company chose to follow him right away; all the above followed!  Of course, they did not at once leave their families and homes but they certainly did accept Jesus as master and were willing to do anything he asks of them, right after their first encounter with him.  

Certain hope

We do so many things in life, some of which are clearly geared towards a far distant dream.  We are hopeful and in a sense sure of achieving that dream - we wouldn't be spending all that time and energy if we were not 'so sure'.  However, not everything has to go our way either.  Things may go haywire and our sustained and years of effort may be totally lost, in view of the intended purpose.  It certainly causes pain and heartache. But I think what causes real pain and suffering is when you realize that the effort is 'wasted' not because it was worthless or you failed, but for some silly and absolutely ridiculous reason as your caste, or religion, place of birth, or some else's like or dislike. How to face angst? Helpless anger?

To see a life, especially a young promising and enthusiastic life, killed in some senseless violence.   To see an activist being murdered for fighting what everyone knows is a just cause.  To hear of a whole family shattered by the rape of a young daughter, only because they belonged to a particular caste, or religion or section of society.  To come to know of a friend who has been denied promotion or benefits due to him only on account of him being of a different group than the one in authority... all of this puts to question the notion of having a dream, slogging it out for it... If all one works for can be wiped off by something so trivial and for no reason, then why strain? 

Yet we do!  We invest our time and energy in our plans.  We slog it out for our dreams.  We plan for years ahead of us.  We hope! If we let doubts or fears grow, we'd not be able to do anything at all! 

(But merely having hope is like walking carefully through a minefield - hoping that we do not step on one!  As long as I'm not the one stepping on, everything is fine.  Doing something about the minefield itself is an act of courage.)