Output to outcome!

 I'm attending the Mission Poverty Eradication, Rewind 2026 episode in Delhi since yesterday. 

Among the few significant aspects that the learnings of the two year enterprise that have struck me, the one that really caught my attention is the following fact: reflection. 

Although not still clear of the focus of this initiative, at least in terms of the methodology and procedure, more than the goal, I should say I'm fully with the ultimate purpose of this initiative: that we need to focus our attention on the poorest of the poor. 

Another aspect: Shifting from output to outcome.  The shift from asking "How many have we trained?" (output) to asking, "What has changed in the lives of those we have trained?" (outcome)

God as fulcrum

 "Give me a lever and a fulcrum," said a man of science, "and I'll shift the world."  Archimedes wasn't talking to God, so his request wasn't granted; and in any case he was only thinking of the material world.  But the Saints really have enjoyed the privilege he asked for;  the fulcrum God told them to use was himself, nothing less than himself, and the lever was prayer.  Only it must be the kind of prayer that sets the heart of all on fire with love; that's how the Saints shift the world in our own day, and that's how they'll do it to the end of time."

[Therese of Lisieux, Autobiography of a Saint, translated by Ronald Knox (Collins: Fount Paperback, 1985), 246.

God at work

In one of his letters to the Thessalonians, St Paul appeals to them saying that all that he and his companions did was to preach the Good News, purely out of love for God.  They had no hidden personal agenda.  Neither did they seek anything for themselves. To this end, he continues, they offered them 'not only the Good News but our whole lives as well'.

Can a genuine proclamation of the Good News be bifurcated from one's actual living?  It is as if to say, preaching is one thing and our actual life and living, is another.  Personally there cannot be a discrepancy or a divide.  Sincerely proclaiming the Gospel is life - not apart from it. 

However, there could be the case where one very effectively preaches the gospel but is not really moved by it.  The hearers or those who witness this proclamation are moved to change and transformation - but not the one offering the gospel.  This too is possible.  After all, it is not the one speaking or the one listening that solely decides the outcome.  God too is part of the process.  So God, the gospel values and the one undergoing change are at work.  And the preacher?  Yes, the one preaching too is involved, but not as a witness, but as an actor - a good one at that! 

The good Zaccheus

The episode of Jesus meeting Zaccheus is always an interesting read.  Somehow it has a certain simplicity and earthiness about it. Perhaps it has to do with Zaccheus climbing the tree - a joyful, children's play.  

However, contrary to popular belief that since Zaccheus was a tax collector and hence certainly a corrupt official, I think that he was basically a good and honest person, all along. First of all, to believe that all - everyone? - tax collectors were cheats, would be too much of an exaggeration.  Not fair! There certainly would have been some kind-hearted ones - at least a handful in a whole nation! Secondly, for one to immediately have a change of heart, that too so radically is not really possible.  That the confession and repentance was genuine, we know from Jesus' interaction with him.  Jesus would have called his lie, if Zaccheus wasn't speaking from his heart.  So Zaccheus would basically have been a good man, with perhaps some illegal dealings once in a way;  and that dishonesty would have been stirring his conscience over time.  The encounter with Jesus actually is the tipping point.  

And practically speaking, if he were that corrupt, repaying back all those whom he cheated, four times over that too after giving away half his property to the poor, would have made him an utter destitute! He would have had to borrow in order to repay them all!! 

Encountering God

Zechariah when he entered the temple to offer incense-worship meets the angel Gabriel whose message marks the beginning of a totally different lifestyle not only for Zechariah but also for his whole family.  That morning as he entered the sanctuary, I'm sure he certainly did not expect to see the angel or get a vision.  

Most of us stroll through life totally oblivious of the numerous ways and means through which God calls on us.  We are either too busy after something we have set our minds to or are too lazy to hear and ultimately respond.  God constantly interacts with us in the little and big things of life.  The more we are attuned to this, the richer our life will be, constantly transforming and growing into a better image. Just like Zechariah whose life undergoes a major shift on encountering the angel and God's message, so too is our life bound to change when we become attentive to the encounters we have with God!  

Slow burner

Among the numerous things St Francis, whose feast we celebrate today, inspires us the one that caught my attention today is the fact that conversion or any transformation is a slow process.  Often some dramatic event or circumstance is attributed with the change of heart in people.  Not necessarily.  My theory of Saul becoming Paul: that his point of conversion was while he lay in bed helpless and incapable of anything, rather than the initial encounter with Jesus, holds true even in the case of St Francis. 

His radical breakaway from his inheritance and his father was perhaps one of the turning points but not the only one.  I'm sure the whole year he spent in imprisonment after he was captured by Perugia was a time of great introspection and reflection. It is said that spiritual journey is a marathon, not a sprint!  So too, any radical and genuine transformation is a slow burner, not an instant ready-mix. 

Nicodemus, the willing

Reflection for April 24

Nicodemus, is an exception among the lot of the Pharisees. He is one who not only dares to believe in Jesus but acknowledges Him to be 'from God'. It was not that Jesus performed some special private miracle for Nichodemus or cured him of some ailment. Nicodemus' trust in Jesus is born out of the very same acts and words which Jesus uttered in public and which everyone, even the other Pharisees heard and witnessed.

What makes him stand apart is this willingness to be open to the working of the Spirit. 'To be born again … from above' could very well mean this very willingness to be swept off one's feet; to be transformed in totally unexpected ways. Nicodemus was open and thereby perceived something divine in Him.

Know not if Nicodemus later became a Christian or a disciple of Jesus. Even if he didn't he would not have been the same pharisee as before.

Holy Saturday: Silence

Holy Saturday marks the death of God. The day is akin to an eerie silence that pervades all around us and everything is still. Bereft of all plans, all hopes, of everything we had, we stand still. Not sure what next. It is like Saul after he was blinded after his encounter with the Lord near Damascus. Utterly helpless. Not sure what the future holds. Not convinced of the past one has lived. Yet it is these days that mark the conversion of Saul to Paul. His introspection where he has nothing to claim his own or anything for sure is what paves the way for his transformation. Holy Saturday offers us the same tomb-experience. Of being silent. Of being still.

As Christians, we often kill this experience or brush past this opportunity for the silence is haunting. We prefer the sentimentality of Good Friday or the thrill of Easter Sunday. The stillness of Holy Saturday is too demanding. Yet one is challenged to live it. Imagine the state of the apostles, of Jesus' disciples, of Mother Mary. They did not have the assured guarantee of the Sunday resurrection. They lived through the Holy Saturday and therefore Easter meant more than Jesus' resurrection to them. It paved the way for their own transformation too.

Contiued Conversion

We celebrated today the feast of the conversion of Saul to Paul. However, this is not the one time conversion that we need to commemorate and remember.  In the life of Paul there was a continuous process of conversion.  While the incidents on the way to Damascus and immediately thereafter were significant, they were not the only ones to alter his life and choices.

Even in his epistles we witness a continual process of conversion.  From one time claiming to be an apostle, though not directly chosen by Christ in his lifetime. Paul takes pride in this claim and asserts that he has done much more than the others...

For I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me has not been in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them—though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me (1 Cor. 15: 9-10).

Later his pride is no more as vivid as seen here.  From having him in the picture, he totally focuses on Christ alone.

I think think is what we need to celebrate: a person's loving encounter with Jesus which continually transforms him

When opportunities come by...

Two interesting facts which I find quite meaningful in this whole discussion of the 'desire to want to change'!

Change itself is yet to happen!!!

Change

Mr Conrad while speaking of his impressions about the whole process of Strategic Planning stated that there could be three causes for one to change:

1. One has undergone great amount of pain and hence wishes for a change 
2. One sees others around undergoing change and therefore wishes for a change in oneself
3. One changes because of one's own choice / decision to change 

His challenge was to avoid reaching the first mode. Why wait till you are on the edge of the cliff or desperate?  The second mode however is not the ideal motivation to change.

Elaborating further he said that while undergoing transformation, one does not throw out everything!  It is not becoming totally a new entity.  It is mainly about managing the present (60%), selectively eliminate the past (25%) and then create the future (15%).  Perhaps the crux of the process is that 'selective elimination of the past' - you really need to identify that which you feel is something you can do without.  Owe to you if you are not sure of your essentials and in the process of jettisoning throw out the essence!!

Of prodigal sons and fathers

The last three weeks or so have been quite interesting here at Ramanthapur.  Among the many things that keep happening, a new phenomena was the return of the 'prodigal sons'.  More than a couple of boys, seniors who took off some months ago at different times and with no apparent (stated) reasons, began to return.  These boys were among the "leaders" cadre among the boys.  Their departure did create some flutter in the community then.  So did their return!  Several boys who thought that those who took off have made it big, were quite humbled and in a way surprised to see them return all lost and weary.

While many in the community, confreres, staff and students rejoiced at this 'ghar wapsi', I found it quite unsettling.  While other saw it as a sign of our greatness to be able to attract the boys back home, I saw it as a drawback.  For me it basically meant that we "successfully" made them into cocoons, rather than help them find their wings and take off.  Rather than make it on their own, we have incapacitated them so badly that they cannot survive in the world on their own. Imagine:  a child from the street now is not able to live in the society, in spite of having some skill or trade or profession to follow.

For once, I'm unable to fathom the meaning of the parable of the Prodigal son, in this context!

An opportunity

The eagle is said to live almost 70 years.  However by 40 it is already 'old' and in order to live its full life needs to make a radical and painful decision.  It retires to a lonely high place, sharpens its beak and then pulls out all its feathers... painful.  It then waits for fresh feathers and wings to grow and with it get a sort of rebirth and go on to live another lifespan! (However, I also learnt a while ago that this is a myth... that eagles do not live more than 30 years and that they do not have the possibility of extending their life cycle! Read more...)

Unfortunately, unlike the 'mythical eagle', we human beings get our full quota of life on a platter.  Very few really risk the painful process of undergoing a radical transformation to renew their lives and living. We just merely exist, some live.

We commence our Provincial Chapter tomorrow and I wonder if we are truly willing to undergo this radical transformation, which the Chapter is calling for.  One of the main points is the restructuring of our institutions/communities.  The Chapter thus truly offers a lovely opportunity but the decision is ultimately ours... mine!  

Taking offense

In the community, as I go about my usual self now - I wasn't so, for quite sometime - I realize that very many Brothers take offense when I tell them something or point out something that they are supposed to do or know.  I demand that Brothers be on time for class.  (I am there myself and ensure that I stop class at the bell too) They would like to take their own time getting into the classroom, take time to settle down, chat about (immediately after a 15 minute break)... all of this while the Professor is yet to reach the class. In this case the Professor is to be blamed primarily.  But when one 'strange' guy turns up on time, the story is still the same!  When demanded that they be in class at the bell, they are offended!

Some Brothers are angry that their nonsensical thesis papers are not approved by their respective guides. So the guide, who is doing his duty, is the one at fault. The Brother does not see that it is he who failed to do a decent work, in time and with some finesse. Leave alone feel guilty or sorry about this; he feels angry that the guide has not approved his paper!!

In such an ambiance where people fail to demand and set standards, for themselves and for others as well; where all have settled for a comfortable level of mediocrity (either out of fear or laziness) ... any change for the better is always seen as a violation of 'fundamental rights'.

That, is certainly a sign that things need to change!  

Hurting and dirty Church

I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security... I dream of a missionary option  capable of transforming everything, so that the Church's customs, way of doing things, times and schedules, language and structures can be suitably channelled for the evangelisation of today's world rather than for her self-preservation. 

Pope Francis [Evangelii Gaudium nos 49. 27]

Judas' sin

It did not strike me before but today during the Mass in the morning, it struck me that Judas' did repent for his crime of handing over Jesus to the Jews.  Frankly speaking, being the political clout that the Jewish religious leaders wielded they could have just barged their way into Jesus' company and arrested him.  That they needed someone to 'sell' Jesus to them was merely a sham.

Anyway, coming to the point, I realized that Judas was indeed sad for what he did and wished to undo it.  He therefore goes back to the elders and even offers them the money he received for 'betraying' Jesus. I suppose if he had more money, he'd have willingly given that too just to get things back to as it were before his 'handing' Jesus over.  But then why is it that Judas always is portrayed in the negative.  For that matter, Peter also betrayed Jesus when he denounced him not once but thrice!  Going by that count, there are more heinous ways that we have 'betrayed' the Lord than Judas did!

His sin, I guess, is to believe that God would not forgive him!  Neither did he forgive himself!  These two facts coupled together saw him hang himself.  Certainly the society then - and now - would always have blacklisted Judas, had he lived on.  But he would have lived with that scar and through his life transformed it into a blessing for himself and others.  However, he was too miserly in his outlook of God... he never brought himself to believe that his crime would be forgiven - not by God and not even by himself!  

Challenging the 'Church'

We are nearing the completion of the academic year and it is time for the evaluation of the different aspects of life and works that we managed to accomplish during the year.  As I sat today collating and tabulating the personal evaluation sheets of the Brothers, something that struck me was the following.  This year, more than ever, we have been collectively and very very consciously re-moulding our image, opinion and convictions about very many things, especially the Church and spirituality. (I should say much credit for this goes to Fr Maliekal).

I very well know that it is a counter image that we are trying to project and help our students imbibe. Counter image only because the Church in Andhra Pradesh - or let me be more specific to say, that the clergy and those who really call the shots (unfortunately!) - is very often too narrow-minded and selfishly pietistic in its outlook.  This is evident, most of all, in the reactions and responses of the Brothers when we challenge them to a different perspective of things related to prayer, devotion, animation, spiritual life... But I'm glad and more than convinced that unless we do it here and now, I too will be culpable of not making the Church relevant and truly Catholic! I certainly am not in any way keen to build an institutional Church, but 'the Kingdom of God', yes! Someone needs to challenge some basic - and I mean, very very basic - issues that are neatly and conveniently compromised or totally misinterpreted.  Being in a regional Major Seminary truly provides the best possible ground.

It is not that I expect changes to happen tomorrow morning, but I very well can sow the seeds today! That's one point I certainly feel proud of...

Have to vs Want to

Perhaps the whole process of contemporary formation strategies can be summed up in this short formula:

Moving from the 'have to' mode to 'want to' mode. 

I really feel this is all that needs to be done... and of course, it is easier said than done!
Most of the students go through the grind of the various activities and events in the community as if they 'have to'. If only they would see the point and desire it themselves as to doing it for their own sake, rather than for the satisfaction of the staff or the formators.

Well, I suppose that's the challenge of being a formator.  If all of this was easy and smooth, then I guess, any Tom, Dick and Harry could have been or become a formator. 

Of yeast and mustard...

Strange but true, the yeast is not asked to be the dough, nor the mustard to be the jackfruit.  What is expected is that the yeast be the best it can be and do the most it can do.  Being in the minority it is asked to be a catalyst in the whole dough, not become the majority!  It is to transform the whole of the dough by being in the whole mixture, not outside, not away, not detached.  

Perhaps a lesson we ought to learn: rather than spend all our energies on increasing our numbers, as Christians, we need to deepen our own understanding of our call, and thus be agents of transformation in the whole society.  Statistically the world may then not be 'Christians' but in spirit and in truth, it will certainly be! 

Change

There is an instance in the movie The Mighty Macs, wherein a young nun tells the coach of the girls basketball team, after months of working together with her in getting the girls to a stage of respect and dignity, the following

You taught me that not only is change possible, it's as vital as breathing. 

I do spend quite a bit of time reflecting upon this statement everytime I remember it. However, I hardly have the courage and the patience to live it.  I suppose that's what makes us dread change.