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Interchange Jesus and Daniel

 A couple of weeks ago there was this reading where we hear of the trial of Susanna and the smart judicial move of Daniel, the young prophet.  The same day Gospel narrated of the incident where Jesus defends the woman caught in adultery.  

Attributed to François-Guillaume Méneageot circa 1779

All through the Mass that day and for a couple of days I couldn't get a particular weird imagery that flashed across my mind: what if the two, Jesus and Daniel, were to be interchanged! Would the incidents unfold the same way as we read them in the Bible?  In other words, would Jesus have forgiven the two corrupt officials, rather than them being sentenced to death.  Would Daniel have scripted the woman to now throw stones at the men gathered to put her to death, or atleast the one(s) who forced her into prostitution or adultery?  

Perhaps this has been plaguing my mind, since I too am faced with a similar situation wherein I need to take a stand.  However, I have in a way made up my mind... after much tussle and inner turmoil.  

More than the final outcome of the incidents with the interchanged characters, I seek to understand the process or the rationale or the principles that would guide each of them to come to whatever conclusions they would arrive at. 

Forgiveness and hell

 More than two decades ago while studying philosophy for the first time at Yercaud, I heard this particular theory of hell (from Fr Stan), which quite startled me.  He said that there is hell, but there's no one therein!  It was quite strange for me to hear that, after a whole lifetime of hearing that all bad people end up in hell.  Surely to now imagine an empty hell was quite a task.  (Of course, in the later years, visiting the Karunapuram Shrine and viewing all the graphic depiction of people being roasted on fire by two devils, or being deep-fried in boiling oil... was quite amusing!). 

Recently reading a particular court case of a woman being tried for a hit-and-run case which took place 7 years ago, and which he vehemently denied, even after showing clear evidence for the accident, the author spoke something similar about hell.  This particular woman, kept denying the accident in the belief that God told her that she only hit a pole and not a person, and after much evidence and proof, she accepted to only hitting a homeless person (as if there was no difference between a pole and a homeless person!).  The author of the article speaks of hell as something locked up from the inside.  And that we put ourselves there and only we can let ourselves out - but often, don't!  In the case of this woman, she put herself there, her self-deception put her there, her lies put her in... and she made herself at home! 

Meaning of success

 Some interesting quotes from Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Kind," said the boy.

 

"What do you think success is?" asked the boy. 

"To love," said the mole. 

 

"What do you think is the biggest waste of time?"

"Comparing yourself to others," said the mole. 

 

"One of the greatest freedoms is how we react to things"

 

"Often the hardest person to forgive is yourself."

Philomena

I watched the movie Philomena, with Fr Peter this evening.  I had seen it earlier and found it very insightful and deep.  Knew Fr Peter would love it - I was right.  

In this viewing, as in the previous viewing, I again found myself on the side of the journalist - raging, unforgiving and deeply upset.  To really fathom the 'forgiveness' of Philomena and her attitude to what she underwent in the prime of her life, is something very very difficult.  To reach that state of equanimity where you see the past as something you wish didn't happen, but not exactly for the same reasons which you were then told.  

However, this time I understood to some extent the logic of the stubbornness of the former superior of the convent who hid the fact from both, Philomena and her son as well.  Her strong conviction that what she did and the way she did it was the right and the best thing to have done, and that God certainly would approve of it stems perhaps from a deep fear of having to face a past.  If she were to change her opinion and see that what she then did was not something good, would be to negate a whole lifetime - that too while having done and lived it with great fervour and dedication.  That fear of rendering one's whole life's effort - genuine and dedicated - as totally absurd and disgraceful would be too horrible a thing to do to oneself.  Especially at that age and stage of life where one could do nothing more!  When all you have is memories.  But Philomena actually shows that even at that advanced age and time, when unable to do anything more, she could still forgive!  The Sister, on the other hand, couldn't forgive herself!  

Love at the heart of forgiveness

At the heart of the sacrament of reconciliation is not forgiveness, but love.  The graces of forgiveness, mercy and transformation are essential and integral to the sacrament of reconciliation but if love does not form the central aspect of it, then the whole procedure turns out to be no better than a vending machine!  You put your sins in and out comes forgiveness!  What actually makes the whole process alive and relevant is love.  Love that God has for us.  Love that we have for God!  Our repentance is primarily because we have consciously offended someone we love.  God forgives is always available because he loves us.  

Admission and denial

During the last lap of Jesus' journey on earth there are two people, both among his closest group, who deny him.  There is Judas who innocently asks, "Surely, not I Lord?" during the Last Supper to Jesus' statement of one betraying him.  Then there is Peter who denies Jesus thrice - after vehemently affirming his loyalty to Jesus.  At least Peter did not deny Jesus on his face. 

However, both repent.  Judas feels sorry and approaching the Jews, returns the 30 pieces of silver, in exchange for Jesus.  Peter repents and weeps bitterly. Both realise that what they did was not in conformity to what Jesus would have wanted them to do.  Both try to make amends.  The only difference is that Peter felt strong enough to live with his mistakes, in the hope that he would be accepted by his fellow companions - and most importantly, by Jesus.  Jesus knew that he would betray, but did not condemn him.  On the other hand, Judas did not have anyone to turn to.  He felt he had let down everyone and none would now accept him - not even the Lord.  He dies alone, or rather he dies a very pathetically lonely death.  He decided for himself that no one would give him a second chance.  And the ones whom he approached (the Jews) only mocked him.  Jesus, his main victim,  was beyond his reach now.

In that sense, his agony was greater than that of Peter.  His was an agony of loneliness.  The same loneliness that led to Jesus sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane.  The same loneliness that made Jesus cry out 'God, my God, why have you abandoned me?'  If only were Judas to admit his guilt to someone, we'd have another excellent model of human weakness overcome! 

Pre-requisites

Not sure how true or false this attribution to Shakespeare is but all the same, the message is worth a thought.

Before you speak listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you hurt, feel.
Before you hate, love.
Before you quit, try.
Before you die, live. 

Novena to Don Bosco: Discipline and Perseverance

Novena to Don Bosco

(Remembering DON BOSCO and the significant people who shaped his life and works)

Day 2: Francis de Sales 

(Patron of the Salesian Society) 

DISCIPLINE AND PERSEVERANCE

Don Bosco choose St Francis de Sales as the patron of his Salesian Congregation because he was inspired by the loving kindness of this great saint. The life of St Francis de Sales showed him that change is not only possible; that it is as vital as breathing.

Begin to practice self-denial in little things, so that later you will be able to do so in bigger things. 

In a goodnight to the boys of his oratory exhorting them to grow in the virtue of mortification and perfection in little things of life. 

Forgive others everything; yourself, nothing. 

Following the example of St Francis de Sales, Don Bosco learnt to be charitable to others, but never to oneself. He practised great tolerance towards his boys and others but was very austere with himself. 

Pray, pray, but with faith – with living faith! Courage! Onward, ever onward! 

One of the last words of Don Bosco on his deathbed in the month of January 1888. 
(Click here to download the pdf file for display)

Silence

Just returned from watching the movie 'Silence'...

The movie is about two Jesuits who volunteer to go to Japan to really find out about their mentor and confessor whom they revere much, but who is rumoured to have given up his faith.  They do not believe it and set out to find the truth.  Once they find themselves in the midst of hostile regime, they begin to see a different picture; not because they are persecuted but because of them, the poor native believers are tortured and killed.  That puts them in the shoes of their mentor and the choices they together make... the same as before, but lived differently.

I'll put my first impressions now and perhaps enumerate the deeper thoughts later.

• Not as graphic or emotionally gripping as I thought it would be, given it being a Martin Scorsese movie. 
• For those of us who have been second hand witnesses of persecution and evangelisation among non-Catholics, even those hostile to the faith, the movie does not come across as a big surprise or a shock.  To those who have had the comfort of a 'convenient' faith, untested by external inhuman conditions, this may be a bit shocking and gruesome.  
• The real crisis of Fr Sebastian: when he sees the image of Christ in himself, just before he is turned in to the Japanese. 
• Two facts which clearly indicate that Fr Sebastian, or even Fr Ferreira for that matter, never lost his faith, nor his priestly mission: when the former was willing to forgive the one who betrayed him and 'renounced' his faith time and again, repeatedly. Even in times when he doubted if the penitent really was worthy of forgiveness, he forgave.  The second is when he stamps on an image of Christ and he does it for the sake of the lives of those persecuted.  A Christian is not truly a follower of Christ if he chooses an image of Christ over and above the life of a human being.  
• When in the comfort of life, faith is lived out in terms of doctrine.  When life itself is in danger or questioned, true faith is lived out - doctrines don't really matter. Fr Sebastian bluntly recommends the villagers to apostate; Fr Garupe is shocked and opposes Fr Sebastian, saying that they cannot give up their faith.  The villagers faith was deeper than any symbols or religious artifacts.  
• Fr Sebastian's parting words to Fr Garupe: "They did not die for us! They did not die for us!" Something every priest and religious should always beware of: self-glorification in sacrifice.  

Over-all: Quite intense but quite long as well. Will appeal to the West not so much the East; the latter, live it in their everyday life (in different degrees) so will not find it as gripping as those whose faith has not been tested by external forces at such levels.  

New year resolutions

Here's a good message about new year resolutions from a 4 year old... cute and very insightful

Thanks to Fr Koshy for leading me to this. 

Dare to be

The other day during the inaugural mass of the Xavier Catholic Educational Board, there was this particular reflection read out after Communion. Quite apt for the occasion and meaningful too:

When something new begins, dare to smile gratefully,

When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light. 

When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it. 

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway. 

When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back. 

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some. 

When you're feeling tired, dare to keep going. 

When times are tough, dare to be tougher. 

When love hurts you, dare to love again.

When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When someone fails, dare to be the first to extend a hand. 

When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile. 

When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

When the day has ended, dare to feel as you've done you best. 

Dare to be the best we can. 

At all times, ... 

Defining sin/love

While at Karunapuram, Puma one day approached me asked, "Does God get offended by our sins?" I immediately replied, "That's up to Him. If He wants to, He will. If not, He won't."  His next question was ready. "Then why confess?" As I reflected, an analogy came to my mind, especially in the context of that day's reading where Jesus meets and praises the woman at Peter's home.

One day I scold and say bad words to ...

1. a drunkard on the road
2. my good friend.
3. my own mother. 

Am I then comfortable or does my conscience prick?  If the latter then in which instance haunts me?  It all depends on my relationship with that person. Naturally, I'll feel more guilty and ashamed of raising my voice against my mother, than in the other two instances.  The more I love, the more I feel... It is also because somewhere deep within us we prefer to love than harbor guilt, shame, fear, hatred or envy.  I therefore ask forgiveness from God because I love him and wish to savour that love better.

"Her many sins are forgiven, because she has loved much!"

Pardoned!

Something that was brought to my notice today as one small fellow was interacting with me, narrating to me in detail his trip to another place during the past two weeks of holidays...

For all the mistakes the children do, we adults hold them accountable and blame them, sometimes for life. Children, on the other hand, excuse so many of our major and serious offences, even those against them, as easily as a blink of an eye.  

This particular boy was narrating how the older boys in this new place were ordering and bossing over them all day and night.  When asked, weren't the other staff members or those incharge around, he so simply and honestly replied:

They surely have so much work to do... how can they be with us all the time. 

Philomena

Just watched the movie Philomena.

It is based on a true story of an elderly Irish lady looking for her long lost son who was taken away from her and given up for adoption in the US. All along a journalist assists her in this endeavour to meet her son... for a scoop. The story is BEAUTIFUL but the feelings are too hard to empathize.

I was viewing it from different perspectives. At times I found myself resonating with Martin (the journalist): his anger, his hatred for the nuns who separated the child and the mother, even when they had an opportunity to reunite them, his own growth in assisting someone discover her roots and relive the past, his flip-flops about being professional and humane...

At times I found myself in the shoes of Philomena: her simplicity and her attitude towards the Nuns who looked after her and all that they did for her. However, the ending scene is very moving. She forgives the nun who justified her actions, so convinced of her own virtue! When questioned as to how she could forgive someone just like that, she replies, “It is hard for me! But it is my choice!” The movie truly evokes contrasting emotions, giving you valid and true reasons for both the emotions... leaving you to make the decision!!

Something I learnt about religious life/ the religious: Why do we always think that it is about us? When all along our life and formation we are asked to shift the focus from ourselves to God and others! Why is it that we become so self-righteous and morally upright that all we do or say, becomes the parameter we judge others by? Why should we be anywhere in the picture at all when all along we 'vow' to let God shine through us? Why does mere practice of vows make us so proud, when they are actually mere means for a greater end: and without achieving that great end, we pride ourselves in merely, literally practicing the letter of the vows!

I'd like to get into the heart and mind of Philomena to know how on earth and at what point in her life did she learn to be a real Christian? After all she went through, how could she still be so magnanimous and forgiving? Where and how did she gain that attitude? Any 'normal' human person would grow bitter and angry and furious, if not at the treatment meted out to her all along but certainly at the insane and ridiculous justification of all the wrong, carried out by the same people, later on in years! But she chooses differently! How? Why?

Bless me, Ultima

I watched Bless me, Ultima, yesterday. A good movie to review how perceptions, beliefs and faith itself gets formulated in one's life, early on.  The character of Tonio is central, and so is that of Ultima. However, what really grips one is the sincere search of Tonio for answers.  He witnesses several things in and around him... in the neighbourhood, in his extended family, among his own siblings... The arrival of Ultima, serves as a great blessing for him.  He begins to open up, though he does not understand fully.  It is also amazing to see how the 'Church' (the priest, the construct of the 'church' in the family, school, friends, non-Catholics, society...) miserably fails to satisfy Tonio's quest.

However, it is important to notice how Tonio makes his own understanding of the situation and shows a maturity well beyond his years. The scene where Tonio is forced to enact as a priest at the confessional, by his friends in school, is really great.  It gives one a glimpse of Tonio's grasp of God, faith, forgiveness, religion and evil.

The scene during the First Communion too is very poignant.  There's the first boy who nearly chokes on the host!  How realistically portrayed!  Then there is the one after Tonio, who when asked if he feels anything (after receiving Communion) replies, "I feel hungry." Then there is Tonio himself, awaiting for that great revelation to happen, because now he is 'one with God'.  He awaits God to answer his questions about the evil he witnesses in his life.  The disappointment is evident on his face.

The brief conversation he has with his father in the van, on his way to his uncles' farm presents the other side of reality.  A simple but profound perception of good and evil. (Click here to read some of the prominent quotes of the movie and the novel).

The film does not take sides. Neither does it preach. It basically chronicles the sincere effort of a young boy seeking answers in a world where good and evil are all too often mixed up and no one really dares / seeks / wishes to get involved.  Most people prefer to watch on the sidelines as by-standers rather than get involved or take sides, on behalf of what they evidently see as good.  

When your brother has something against you...

"When you know that your brother has something against you, go first, get reconciled and then offer your gifts at the altar."

Going by this dictum of Jesus, He Himself would have never been eligible to offer gifts at the altar. Certainly He did have his share of 'offended brothers', the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Jewish elders, the tax collectors and so on.  Yet He offered Himself as the sacrifice.

In our times, if this is the case, no parent can genuinely come anywhere near the communion line!  How many times do children get 'offended' and sulk.  Do that mean, parents have to ask pardon of their children for preventing them from putting their fingers into the electrical sockets of the house? Or has the mother to seek pardon for forcibly feeding her child, in spite of and through the river of tears flowing from her eyes?  

Know not what they are doing

When on the cross, Jesus makes a very bold and startling prayer: Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!  This morning as I sat for meditation and looked up the cross this is what came to my mind.  Perhaps it is also because last night I came across a clip from the movie Ben Hur (the climax scene) where Ben Hur is touched by this statement of Jesus.

So I was wondering whom is Jesus referring to, when he says ´them´?  Certainly not the Roman soldiers, because he knew very well that they were only carrying out orders given to them.  If Jesus were to be accusing them of murder and praying for their forgiveness, it would be like holding a grudge against the hangman in a prison.

But if Jesus was referring to the Jews who were baying for his blood, then I think he got it wrong. They certainly did know what they were doing.  They had all along schemed and manipulated facts to consciously get rid of him.  So it is neither the Romans nor the Jews who come under the category of ´do not know´. Who then is Jesus referring to? 

Judas' sin

It did not strike me before but today during the Mass in the morning, it struck me that Judas' did repent for his crime of handing over Jesus to the Jews.  Frankly speaking, being the political clout that the Jewish religious leaders wielded they could have just barged their way into Jesus' company and arrested him.  That they needed someone to 'sell' Jesus to them was merely a sham.

Anyway, coming to the point, I realized that Judas was indeed sad for what he did and wished to undo it.  He therefore goes back to the elders and even offers them the money he received for 'betraying' Jesus. I suppose if he had more money, he'd have willingly given that too just to get things back to as it were before his 'handing' Jesus over.  But then why is it that Judas always is portrayed in the negative.  For that matter, Peter also betrayed Jesus when he denounced him not once but thrice!  Going by that count, there are more heinous ways that we have 'betrayed' the Lord than Judas did!

His sin, I guess, is to believe that God would not forgive him!  Neither did he forgive himself!  These two facts coupled together saw him hang himself.  Certainly the society then - and now - would always have blacklisted Judas, had he lived on.  But he would have lived with that scar and through his life transformed it into a blessing for himself and others.  However, he was too miserly in his outlook of God... he never brought himself to believe that his crime would be forgiven - not by God and not even by himself!  

The paradox

A heated conversation between two Catholics:

A: You said a lie. Didn't you?
B: Yes, I lied.
A: That's why I say, you're a liar! 

But didn't he just confess to have said a lie? He just said the truth by acknowledging his lie... and still he's a liar?