Pastoral service!

 Yesterday a youngster wanting to make his confession was directed to my office by one of our staff members (who did not know what exactly he was asking for!).  I was more than neck-deep in some urgent and complicated stuff, juggling more than a couple of them delicately.  Nonetheless, I tried to locate a Priest to hear his confession. That's when he said he wanted to confess in Malayalam.  So the search was narrowed down still further.  Unfortunately no one was immediately available and I asked the young man if he could come a little while later - more than for him, I was making time for myself. To my surprise, he returned exactly at the specified time. 

This time I walked up, with the young man in tow, to the neighbouring community in search of a priest.  I didn't find any - at least none who could speak Malayalam. So I again asked him for some more time.  I got back to my office.  And again, at the agreed time, there appears the young man at my door.  Looking at the fervour of this youngster, this time I was more than eager to assist.  

Ultimately I approached Fr AR Jose. He was in bed, unable to get up, due to his illness and was merely covered in a bedsheet.  Initially he wanted to get into his wheel chair but I thought that would be asking too much of him. So I convinced him to stay in bed, got him a stole and led the young man to his bedside. And returned to my office! 

My greatest joy in this whole episode was to be able to facilitate the reception of the sacrament for a young man so greatly desirous of it.  Greater joy was when the young man, after making his confession, joyfully came looking for me to thank me.  This act of mine may not be counted as a sacramental service, but is certainly pastoral!  And who says, Brothers cannot do pastoral work!! 

Grace before repentance

In our regular understanding and expression we most often think that repentance comes first and God's forgiveness follows.  It is as if God is responding to us.  

But I personally believe it is God who makes the first move. It is his Grace that moves us.  

In the Gospel of today we hear the incident of the prodigal son.  The son is repentant, after having lost all his possessions, and then thinks of his father.  His decision to get back to his father is not primarily because of his guilt; what precedes and supersedes that guilt is the trust that his father will take him back. Perhaps not as his son, in his earlier status, but at least as one of his hired servants... nonetheless, the son knew for certain that his father would accept him back!  

That benevolence of the father is the bedrock of our hope, our trust, our repentance. It is that same benevolence of the Father that draws us to approach the sacrament of reconciliation. Our repentance is in response to that benevolent grace; not the other way around. 

Don Bosco and the sacrament of reconciliation

In my reading in preparation for the talk on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I came across this book by Gianni Asti (translated by Fr Ian Doulton) titled Don Bosco the Confessor of his boys.  It is an interesting book chronicling the dynamics that showed the bond of Don Bosco and his boys, especially around the confessional. 

As part of my reading also realised that of the three lives that Don Bosco wrote during his lifetime, that of Dominic Savio, Mickey Magone and Francis Besucco, one common feature in all those biographies was a chapter dedicated to Confession and the sacrament of Reconciliation. 

The most striking thing among all these narrations from the life of Don Bosco is the familiarity that the boys felt with Don Bosco.  For most of these boys there was no one in the world.  For some they were far away and most often not in good terms with. Just like those in our navajeevans, the home for street children.  Yet in Don Bosco, they found one whom they could trust.  They were at home with him.  That feeling of having someone in whom one can fully trust, can confide, be oneself, is truly empowering.  No wonder, Mother Teresa used to refer to loneliness as the worst disease.  

The Father knows!

Last night I was asked to give a talk to the Salesian Cooperators of Chertsey.  They were about 20 of them present.  I was asked to speak about Don Bosco and the Sacrament of reconciliation.  I shared of how my personal insight changed my understanding of Don Bosco's notion of confession. 

The sacrament of reconciliation was always a kind of obligation that I felt needed to be fulfilled, earlier as a baptised member of the Church and then much more later as a professed Salesian.  However, it was only a few years ago that I began to really appreciate the sacrament for its great value.  And it was mostly the person of the confessor that made a whole difference in this aspect.  Have seen ample confessors who were so strict and abiding by the rule that confession was a real act of pain and suffering.  After the confession it a sense of relief that a 'job' is done, rather than savouring the grace of being blessed! 

What changed for me was the simple insight that the "Father knows!" So it was not something new that I was speaking to him about. There was nothing that would surprise Him, given the fact that I'm living in His presence.  So what's the whole confession about if He already knows? It is basically an acknowledgement of my present state of life, coupled with a genuine desire to be better.  This realisation helped me change my attitude towards confession and I really began to cherish this sacrament. 

Don Bosco's own writings and goodnights are rife with hell, sin, death, and all that stuff usually related to the sacrament of reconciliation, as was the trend of his times.  However, from my reading of his teachings, he never advocated confession to his boys as a fulfilment of an ecclesial obligation. He always recommended it as a means of personal experience, for growth and progress.  Boys loved going to confession to him. He personally gained and learned much about this sacrament from his own confessor, Joseph Cafasso.  It was from all that reading and especially observing the following photo of Don Bosco (one of the earliest original photos of DB) that it struck me that the boys not only were convinced of the fact that the "Father knows", but also felt greatly reassured by the knowledge that even "Don Bosco knows!" So it was a double, "Father knows!"

Notice the faces of the boys.  They are so serene.
No one's distracted or curious about the photograph itself - given this is the earliest history of photography
(at least in the oratory)

Confession was not restricted to the confessional anymore.  It was a continued relationship. It is in this light that Don Bosco's quote made great sense to me:

Want to be saints?  Here's the secret: Confession is the lock; the confidence in the confessor is the key.  This is how you open heaven's gates. 

Confession is the lock.  Confidence in the confessor is the key!  My earliest experience of shame and fear and guilt were replaced by a sense of love and comfort.  Mostly thanks to some of my confessors, especially Fr Lens. With him, I was at home. I did not have to be different.  I did not have to sift and mince words.  There was no fear or shame.  He knew me well enough that there was no need of a confession at all; but me confessing was me taking responsibility for my growth and him assuring his - and God's - continued support! 

As I was putting down these thoughts for the talk, it then occurred to me why Don Rua felt greatly pained when in 1908, the Vatican forbid the Rector to be the regular confessor of inmates.  I always thought he should have felt happy that he could focus more on being with the boys rather than being confined to the confessional.  But like Don Bosco, he had grown so intimately with his boys that not being with them in the confessional was like cutting out one important portion of their lives.  I realized how difficult it would have been for his boys!  That is not recorded anywhere!  In my years in the formation commission, I had neatly collapsed the distinct roles of the rector, as best non-compatible.  But I also understood my predicament why there should be such a fuss about Rector also being the confessor (and final authority on voting).  If I've been open to him, in and out of the confessional, I should have nothing to fear.  And if it in confidence that I have opened up to him, then I am also convinced that what he says and does is for my own good - even if it meant him asking me to pack up and go home!  Of course, in all of this the person of the rector or confessor does make a huge difference!  

Threw peanuts in the river

Three small boys approached the Parish priest and asked him if he could hear their confession.  The priest agreed and the first one came forward.  Among the other sins, he confessed, he said he was sorry for throwing peanuts in the river.  The priest found that odd but did not comment on it.

The second boy came and among the other sins, he too mentioned throwing peanuts in the river.  Even this time, the priest said nothing.  The third boy came and confessed. At a point where he hesitated a bit, the priest interjected, "Did you also throw peanuts in the river?" The boy replied, "I am Peanuts."

Novena to Don Bosco: Spiritual Direction

Novena to Don Bosco

(Remembering DON BOSCO and the significant people who shaped his life and works)

Day 3: Fr Joseph Cafasso

(John Bosco's guide and mentor)

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

Fr Joseph Cafasso was the confessor of Don Bosco right from his days as a student of Theology till the former's death. Every step he took in the direction of his vocational journey was always discussed with Fr Cafasso from 1841-1860. Fr Cafasso is also the patron of the prisoners and the gallows.

Do you want to become saints? Here is the secret: Confession is the lock: confidence in your confessor is the key. This is how you open heaven's gates. 

Advice of Don Bosco to his boys, exhorting them to frequent the sacrament of reconciliation and avail themselves of the opportunity of spiritual direction. 

Go to confession every week, but not oftener, because it is not the number of confessions which make us good, but the benefits we derive from each genuine confession (with a good resolution). 

Following the example of St Philip Neri, Don Bosco used to tell his boys to make their confession regularly, and preferably to the same confessor.

Relationship

A couple of days ago I posted a reflection on sin and love. The basic idea being that when we hurt those we love most we readily ask pardon because we prefer to love them rather than bear the guilt and shame.

The analogy of abusing one's own mother hurts me much because I love her. However it is not so much that I love her but I believe it is because of the knowledge that she loves me!!

The beauty of a relationship is not in the fact that you love the other but in the truth that you are loved by the other.

Defining sin/love

While at Karunapuram, Puma one day approached me asked, "Does God get offended by our sins?" I immediately replied, "That's up to Him. If He wants to, He will. If not, He won't."  His next question was ready. "Then why confess?" As I reflected, an analogy came to my mind, especially in the context of that day's reading where Jesus meets and praises the woman at Peter's home.

One day I scold and say bad words to ...

1. a drunkard on the road
2. my good friend.
3. my own mother. 

Am I then comfortable or does my conscience prick?  If the latter then in which instance haunts me?  It all depends on my relationship with that person. Naturally, I'll feel more guilty and ashamed of raising my voice against my mother, than in the other two instances.  The more I love, the more I feel... It is also because somewhere deep within us we prefer to love than harbor guilt, shame, fear, hatred or envy.  I therefore ask forgiveness from God because I love him and wish to savour that love better.

"Her many sins are forgiven, because she has loved much!"

Who is your Cafasso?

Today is the feast of St Joseph Cafasso, the spiritual director of Don Bosco... a person whom Don Bosco trusted with all his heart and who knew the young seminarian like a son.  Yesterday there was a news article on BoscoLink titled 'Who is your Cafasso' ... a very beautiful way of reminding one and all about the all important necessity of spiritual accompaniment.

For quite some time now, the whole congregation at large has been feeling the need to stress and draw attention to this important dimension of our religious spiritual life. The lacuna is two fold: confreres, especially the young ones, not feeling the need of having a spiritual director and the lack of competent and understanding spiritual directors.

Perhaps most of the issues the Province is today plagued by could be resolved if only we, as individuals and as a whole, work towards realising the gravity and depth of this simple yet profound dimension of life: discernment. Personally too, discernment, not only in matters concerning the conscience, but even in simple mundane matters is something I find difficult. Even when willing and keen to approach someone for directions or help, 'whom to' is a big question!  However, in times when it was really tough, there have been a few people whose help I could always count on. I wish I could say that more boldly and consistently.

Judas' sin

It did not strike me before but today during the Mass in the morning, it struck me that Judas' did repent for his crime of handing over Jesus to the Jews.  Frankly speaking, being the political clout that the Jewish religious leaders wielded they could have just barged their way into Jesus' company and arrested him.  That they needed someone to 'sell' Jesus to them was merely a sham.

Anyway, coming to the point, I realized that Judas was indeed sad for what he did and wished to undo it.  He therefore goes back to the elders and even offers them the money he received for 'betraying' Jesus. I suppose if he had more money, he'd have willingly given that too just to get things back to as it were before his 'handing' Jesus over.  But then why is it that Judas always is portrayed in the negative.  For that matter, Peter also betrayed Jesus when he denounced him not once but thrice!  Going by that count, there are more heinous ways that we have 'betrayed' the Lord than Judas did!

His sin, I guess, is to believe that God would not forgive him!  Neither did he forgive himself!  These two facts coupled together saw him hang himself.  Certainly the society then - and now - would always have blacklisted Judas, had he lived on.  But he would have lived with that scar and through his life transformed it into a blessing for himself and others.  However, he was too miserly in his outlook of God... he never brought himself to believe that his crime would be forgiven - not by God and not even by himself!  

Focus on love; not on preventing sin

Recently Pope Francis, stated that the Church should not be obsessed with gays, abortion and... In fact, what he left unsaid was that is should rather be obsessed with God's love and an intimate relationship with Him.

In my moments of clarity I do realize that when my focus is on His love, I barely have the time or the thought of straying away from it.  However when my focus is to be away from sin, I am wasting my whole effort and energy. In my effort, I may succeed too, that I remain spotless but I remain so 'dead'.  I am sinless is not the same as I am happy!

My experience with the Brothers too has been very formative for me in this perspective.  From the time I shifted my emphasis from telling them not to waste time during the evening study to giving them enough to do during study; from repeatedly telling them not to talk in the study hall or library, to helping them savour the joy of reading, of knowing, of learning more, the results have been great. In the process of achieving the latter the former is automatically done.  But as long as I was focussed on the latter alone, I realised that I wasn't giving them anything positive.  I only wanted them to be away from the negative.

Similarly the focus is not on reducing evil, but on being good.  The focus is not on preventing sin, but on cherishing love!  

Building Bridges

Bridge-builders, including Jesus, usually start building a bridege from one side.  You can't build a bridge from the middle as even an engineer will tell you.  You must choose a starting point. What the Gospel is saying, pure and simple, is that wherever you're going to start building  your bride, you better start from the side of powerlessness, not power.  Because if you start on the side of power you'll stay there forever. You really won't build any bridges.  

[An extract from Jesus' Plan for a New World, p. 68].

That's quite a revelatory and challenging thought for ministers of today.  Very true given the fact that there are no neutral positions when it comes to discipleship and commitment. 

A catacomb experience

For once I had a personal experience of participating in a Mass as though I were an early Christian and we were having the liturgy in the catacombs, in hiding from the Romans.  Well my reasons were totally different from that of the early Christians, but the experience was none the less same.  I know not but how 'free' that celebration of the Mass was.  There was always the fear of being discovered by the persecutors and therefore so many things to bear in mind all along.  Yet, that was the real cradle of Christianity.  Faith grew from these catacomb-meetings.

Another aspect I found reflecting as I participated in Mass was the grace of forgiveness.  I thought I was more cruel than God Himself.  While He surely would have forgiven and moved on, I still found it hard to forgive and reconcile myself to the fact that 'this' still is the reality.  

Take away the stone

The morning session today was on reconciliation and regeneration. This was perhaps the most challenging one for me to comprehend. I need to ask the preacher for clarification about the first stage of this whole process where he outlined the movement thus: reconciliation to repentance; repentance to reception and reception to regeneration.

However, what fascinated me most was the analogy which the preacher used, another Biblical character: Mary Magdelene. Her life has always been intriguing. The preacher pointed out that perhaps the three Gospel instances citing the woman caught in adultery (Jn. 8:1-11), the one who anoints Jesus with the costly perfume (Mt. 26: 6-13) and the one to whom the Risen Lord sends out as His first messenger (Jn. 20:11-18), refer to the same woman.

In his notes, the animator drew parallels between the two commands of Jesus: “Sin no more” and “Take away the stone.” When Jesus commanded, “Take away the stone” it echoes “Sin no more.” Probably we are not ready to take away the stone, for we find comfort in those stones, as we have grown familiar with them. We will have many justifications for not taking away the stones.

The Mission

Tonight I screened the movie The Mission for the Brothers in the Seminary. I watched the movie several years ago and I still find it very gripping. The fact that it is based on a true incident adds greater depth to the message it delivers and the way it is portrayed. The double standards of Christianity are very bluntly portrayed and so is the true missionary fervour of a handful. Values like courage, redemption, repentance, patience, simplicity, communion, sacrifice and zeal are beautifully portrayed.

Most of all, I hope the Brothers as they watch it, learn from it that when the word 'mission' is used, it does not begin and end with 'preaching the word of God'. There is more to it than mere 'proclamation' - to be read as sermonizing. I hope they see that being a missionary means living for His people and not just making a living in His name!

A true missionary is one who is filled with the Spirit of God and out of genuine love for God and His people, willing to put up with any difficulty and is ready to go to any extent to stand by His people.