God's inadequacies

 Watching the movie, Karuppu, reiterated even God's inadequacies in the face of human free will.  In a fantasy world, God can play the 'God mode' and 'set right' all things! But in reality, even God is limited! The movie attempts to 'liberate' God and assist him work 'outside the God-mode'. It even throws an open challenge to God to work in and as the human mould.  So far so good! 

However, the rest of the movie takes recourse to a fantasy, without making any serious effort at addressing an evil plaguing our Indian judicial system. The closest the movie comes to making a possible response or proposing a way forward, through the maze of the judiciary is citing fear.  Fear among the people, especially those directly involved in judicial matters: lawyers, judges, court staff... Fear primarily of the Divine.  But, that is a very lame attempt.  

For if those involved in the court process were God-fearing, the whole system would have never got corrupted in the first place.  And if everyone was so obedient to God, the courts would be redundant! 

In comparison to this movie, the other recent movie of Surya titled Jai Bhim is a much more powerful and sensible one. 

Nonetheless, the movie is a rather good trigger for discussion in a Theodicy class.  God is omnipotent, and almighty, all powerful; but before the human free will, God makes himself and is 'limited'. 

Travesty of Justice

To take my mind off the hundred and one things that were literally eating my brain, I watched the Tamil movie Karuppu, yesterday. Wrong choice!! It only added fuel and angst to my already preoccupied mind.

The movie is centred around the Indian judiciary system, or rather the inbuilt corruption and red tape that cripples the system so badly that while apparently everything is as per the process, the results are totally skewed and wrong.  The process itself, is so prolonged that even when justice is served, the intermediary costs are exorbitant.  The movie clearly indicates that even if God himself were to follow the legal procedure, he/she would be unable to do anything differently!  

Having to undergo the same judicial trials of matters concerning various issues of the communities, in the last four years, I could very much vibe with the sentiments of the victims, as I watched the movie.  The only difference being, the dozen cases that I'm involved in aren't anything serious or life-altering for me personally or for the community that I'm representing.  But that is not the case for most people approaching the courts for justice.  Their needs and demands are far, far, far more pressing, basic and absolutely human.  A decision - if at all, one arrives at it - is enough to break a family, shatter dreams, plans and even alter the lives of individuals and families irrevocably. Besides the corruption underlying the whole system, the duration these court cases take is perhaps the most agonising and traumatic aspect. 

During my 5 year tenure so far, there is only one case that has seen us walk out of the court for good. Only one.  That too after 17 long years! Presently there are 11 ongoing issues, with 9 of them being initiated within the last 5 years!  

Stand up (Cynthia Erivo)

I heard this lovely song this evening, and I first thought it was a Biblical song.  It felt exactly as if it was Moses of the Old Testament, singing this song about his task of leading the Israelites back to the Promised land.  

However, I then realised it mentions of a 'river' rather than the sea. That's when I looked it up. It turned out to be the title song of the movie 'Harriet'. The movie itself, is no less an Exodus tale: HARRIET tells the extraordinary tale of Harriet Tubman's escape from slavery and transformation into one of America’s greatest heroes. Her courage, ingenuity, and tenacity freed hundreds of slaves and changed the course of history.

The video of the song narrates the story by itself. The song is co-written and sung by Cynthia Erivo.  She is also the lead actress of the movie!! That's some real passion and heart. 

I'll need to watch this movie... 

I been walkin' With my face turned to the sun Weight on my shoulders A bullet in my gun Oh, I got eyes in the back of my head Just in case I have to run I do what I can when I can while I can for my people While the clouds roll back and the stars fill the night That's when I'm gonna stand up Take my people with me Together we are going To a brand new home Far across the river Can you hear freedom calling? Calling me to answer Gonna keep on keepin' on I can feel it in my bones Early in the mornin' Before the sun begins to shine We're gonna start movin' Towards that separating line I'm wadin' through muddy waters You know I got a made up mind And I don't mind if I lose any blood on the way to salvation And I'll fight with the strength that I got until I die So I'm gonna stand up Take my people with me Together we are going To a brand new home Far across the river Can you hear freedom calling? Calling me to answer Gonna keep on keepin' on And I know what's around the bend Might be hard to face 'cause I'm alone And I just might fail But Lord knows I tried Sure as stars fill up the sky Stand up Take my people with me Together we are going To a brand new home Far across the river Can you hear freedom calling? Calling me to answer Gonna keep on keepin' on I'm gonna stand up Take my people with me Together we are going To a brand new home Far across the river Do you hear freedom calling? Calling me to answer Gonna keep on keepin' on I'm gonna stand up Take my people with me Together we are going To a brand new home Far across the river I hear freedom calling Calling me to answer Gonna keep on keepin' on I can feel it in my bones I go to prepare a place for you I go to prepare a place for you I go to prepare a place for you I go to prepare a place for you

Saiyaara: love, music and mental well-being

 I watched the Hindi movie Saiyarra today... 

Am truly impressed! After long feel contented to have watched some great acting and a beautiful story.  

Liked most the acting and direction of the movie.  For first timers playing the lead role in a full length movie, I should say, they've done a fabulous job.  Of course, cinematic liberties aside, they appear spontaneous, and perfectly grooved into the role/character.  

Add to that I liked also very many other aspects which the story writer and the director have wonderfully woven into the love story.  It is true that the movie is primarily a love story - and a beautiful one at that too.  But along with it, I hope the audiences also take note and the media promote this movie as a support for the cause of mental well being.  Alzheimer is one mental illness that is specifically mentioned and spoken of, but I guess, it is a good beginning to help us Indians take the stigma out of such mental illnesses.  The movie also shows and explicitly states - rightly - how some such situations can be sensibly handled: the aspect of family support, regularity, role of emotions, medication, ambience...  

Then there is the family dimension that is upheld by the movie.  Be it in and through alcohol addiction, or facing Alzheimers... the irreplaceable strength and support of a loving and caring family.  The ending scene of the wedding, adds to the Indian cultural aspect of marriage and togetherness. 

The aspect of music serves as the invisible backbone/background of the whole movie.  But in a very clear way proving that music can be a very sensible way of handling mental well being. Well, let's say linking music, emotions and memories.  In this context, music evoking emotions and thereby reliving memories.  Those who have experience or know something about Alzheimer will realise the great link between the non-cognitive aspect (repeated actions, habits, hobbies...) and memories. 

Last but not the least, a typical characteristic of India: cricket!  Though not really necessary, the scenes and involvement of cricket into the storyline does not seem totally out of place.  

Jim Lovell: The Apollo 13 astronaut

 I read the sad news of the death of Jim Lovell, the famous astronaut of Apollo 13, who mouthed the iconic words: Houston, we've had a problem. 

As I read about his death, I came across the following news article on BBC: Jim Lovell, Apollo 13 astronaut, dies aged 97 

Very inspiring story of the man Jim Lovell was, right since his childhood.  How he pursued his dream right from the early age of 5.  How he made sensible choices in order to fulfil his dream.  

Jim Lovell, the captain of Apollo 13

It was interesting to note that even though he never managed to land on the moon, he lived contented that he did his best.  He got to live his dream: that of being an astronaut.  

I liked one of the lines in the news article, describing the Apollo 13 space mission: The mission was Nasa's greatest failure and, without question, its finest hour. 

The crew of the ill-fated Apollo 13: Jack Swigert, Jim Lovell and Fred Haise

Goes without saying, the movie Apollo 13, starring Tom Hanks continues to be one of my favourite movies! Of the many good and great aspects of that movie, is that the movie shows the whole rescue attempt of Apollo 13 as a team work. While the three crew members did best what they could, their whole back up team here on earth, spared no effort.  The movie does not miss out that effort of the back up team either.  

Inverse of values and roles

I’m beginning to notice a very strange but sure trend in movies. A growing subtle shift in preferences of negative personalities over persons with honest and value-based priorities is quite disheartening. The worst is that we very unconsciously side by the former, even to the extent of going against the latter (leave alone, mere preference for the former). So one finds oneself rooting and exalting for the hero who is actually doing evil; and the honest civilian or police officer or forest guard becomes the villain. A typical example of this is the ongoing blockbuster telugu movie Pushpa. 

In the movie Pushpa, a sandalwood smuggler is the hero and the forest guard (even though equally egoistical) is the villain. When I watched part one of this movie, I never felt anything odd. It is only when I watched part two of the same (which wasn’t as well made as the previous one) did it suddenly strike me that the whole movie is an exaltation of a smuggler!

Another blockbuster, Salaar, again is of a mercenary! The other recently successful movie, Lucky Bhaskar, is of a bank employee who scams the public fund. Each of these movies shows intelligent men successfully get away with illegal activities and are blatantly portrayed as ‘success stories’.

Philomena

I watched the movie Philomena, with Fr Peter this evening.  I had seen it earlier and found it very insightful and deep.  Knew Fr Peter would love it - I was right.  

In this viewing, as in the previous viewing, I again found myself on the side of the journalist - raging, unforgiving and deeply upset.  To really fathom the 'forgiveness' of Philomena and her attitude to what she underwent in the prime of her life, is something very very difficult.  To reach that state of equanimity where you see the past as something you wish didn't happen, but not exactly for the same reasons which you were then told.  

However, this time I understood to some extent the logic of the stubbornness of the former superior of the convent who hid the fact from both, Philomena and her son as well.  Her strong conviction that what she did and the way she did it was the right and the best thing to have done, and that God certainly would approve of it stems perhaps from a deep fear of having to face a past.  If she were to change her opinion and see that what she then did was not something good, would be to negate a whole lifetime - that too while having done and lived it with great fervour and dedication.  That fear of rendering one's whole life's effort - genuine and dedicated - as totally absurd and disgraceful would be too horrible a thing to do to oneself.  Especially at that age and stage of life where one could do nothing more!  When all you have is memories.  But Philomena actually shows that even at that advanced age and time, when unable to do anything more, she could still forgive!  The Sister, on the other hand, couldn't forgive herself!  

Parasite

Watched the movie Parasite the other day in with another confrere.  Cannot really say that I enjoyed it - not my favourite genre.  Not really.  But what I did like about the movie was the cinematography and direction.  There were no lose ends to any of the sub-plots in the movie.  All instances were well tied up and well connected too to the main plot.  Very well thought out and beautifully shot.  

The fact that one had to follow the english subtitles and at the same time keep an eye on the whole frame being screened was difficult.  But I guess one cannot help it if the movie is in another language.  Nonetheless I should say that there was great care to translate the movie well.  

One moral of the movie that came across strongly to me was the great risk of greed amidst poverty.  That poverty itself is no great curse is my firm belief.  Indeed it's a great opportunity.  However, when coupled with greed and ambition, it can lead one to a disastrous life. In contrast to the protagonist family, there is the couple in the rich man's house itself.  There is the woman working as a housekeeper and the husband living incognito in the basement.  They too were poor like the other family but did not seek the thrill of becoming rich.  They were content with what they had, even if it meant one of them living in the basement.  Contentment is indeed a very noble virtue.  

Resurrection: The bizarre but illuminating experience

The gospel of the day stands out for me for one particular line which sums up for me, the whole state of mind of the apostles.

They (the apostles) did not yet understand the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead. 

Witnessing the resurrection, or rather the empty tomb, the apostles are now at a very complex mode of understanding.  Amidst all the excitement and tension of the past three days, when things just seem to hit them like an avalanche, the latest awareness of the resurrection of Jesus makes everything so weird. All along they heard Jesus speak and preach, they journeyed along with him, saw all that he did, and now suddenly all of that takes on a totally different meaning and shape.  Every word, deed and interaction is viewed as if totally new - but not for the first time!

The Resurrection of Christ
by Nicolas Bertin

The only immediate analogy that comes to my mind of this state of 're-running the past' in a totally different light and thereby gaining a very different meaning, is the conclusion of the movie 'The sixth sense'.  The bizarre twist at the end of the movie reveals a fact that forces one to review all that one has watched for the past hour.  The strange feeling is 'how come I missed it'!  It was there all along, but I never really saw it. I did not even imagine it as per this new fact that is revealed.  The earlier viewing is not nonsensical or illogical.  It looks good in itself.  But with the fresh insight, the whole of it gains a totally different meaning.  Now that's a feeling after watching something just for 90 minutes.  Imagine what it would be re-running 3 full years of one's past life! Then there is also all that one has learnt about one's religion since birth!

This experience is like how one single thought can put a whole complex theory into a neat clear picture.  Once you see the whole picture, you wonder how come you did not see it, until you have the latest insight.  The Gospels do not explain the resurrection; it is resurrection that explains the Gospels! 

Respect

You don't throw a whole life away just because it's banged up a little... 

That's one of the punch lines from the movie Seabiscuit

Why respect some great thinker, politician or celebrity if somewhere in his or her speeches or texts he or she has a very "biased" opinion about a certain group of people?  Why respect Kant and Hume, if they strongly felt that the whites were superior to the coloured skin? Why read and appreciate Aristotle if he felt men were superior to women?  Source: Aeon

• Disrespecting the whole person and all his or her writings betrays a profound lack of understanding of how socially we are influenced, even the greatest of minds of any time. 
• Never take one of their personal convictions to be the bedrock of all their thought and philosophy.  
• We are judging them by today's standards and cultural openness - something that they did not have the privilege to in their times.  
• While an individual is ultimately responsible for his own thoughts and actions, one cannot be held solely responsible, if the whole ambiance of his lifetime is flawed or biased.  (Jesus saying, "You don't give the dogs food meant for the children")
• Accepting and admiring the deep thoughts of such men and women, is not affirming their 'racist or sexist' thoughts.  Racism and sexism were never okay, people simply wrongly believed that they were.
• See if their fundamental way of thinking would be negatively prejudiced if applied today. 

Given Aristotle’s openness to evidence and experience, there is no question that today he would need no persuading that women are men’s equals. Hume likewise always deferred to experience, and so would not today be apt to suspect anything derogatory about dark-skinned peoples. In short, we don’t need to look beyond the fundamentals of their philosophy to see what was wrong in how they applied them.

• Excusing them is not the same as excusing someone who's living today with some of those distorted values. We, the living, have the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons; we have history to learn from; we have the possibility of making amends; we may not be the ones who created such notions but are very much in a position to challenge them; we certainly are 'better equipped'... the dead have no such possibility! 

Karwaan... an enriching journey

Yesterday watched the movie Karwaan, a lovely hindi movie!  A very simple plot and not too many characters or complexities.  Yet very smooth and profound.  How three different characters, with perhaps nothing in common bond together and in the process help one another learn something profound about themselves, through their mere presence.  The best I enjoyed was the subtle and comic timing of Shaukhat (Irrfan Khan).

Though don't really agree that the lyrics of this song actually represent the lead characters but all the same, do speak a lot about them.

Poverty and happiness

I watched the hindi movie 'Hindi Medium' today.  Am quite impressed.  A very unlikely situation, but a very realistic one.  Without getting into the debate about the ethics of 'special' schools and education for the 'qualified' - for fear of fast running short of any serious valid arguments - I wish to dwell on the aspect of community support and the role of poverty.

While there are some hyperbolic cinematic liberties in the movie concerning education and living, the one that spot on is that there is greater happiness and joy among the poor than those blessed with material wealth.  While poverty is considered the curse of society, it also offers the most likelihood for happiness.  Living with the minimal brings people together.  It helps one keep one's feet on the ground and one's heart in the right place.  Too much of a comfort brings about distance among people and fosters a sense of suspicion among neighbours.  Most importantly, it is only in dire need that one truly discovers ones true friends and well wishers - something one will never be able to do when one has all one's material needs fully met.

This is me

The following song from the movie The Greatest Showman, titled 'This is me' is a good motivational song with a catchy tune too.  A song for celebrating individuality, being proud of who and what we are, no matter what others think and how they categorize me. 

Each one of us has our own inadequacies.  However, only those most insecure will make others feel insecure.  Only those who humbly embrace one's own weaknesses, lets others shine through their drawbacks... and in doing so, helps both... 

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down 
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out 
I am brave, I am bruised 
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me 
Look out 'cause here I come 
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum 
I'm not scared to be seen 
I make no apologies, this is me

Wonder

Last night I watched the movie Wonder.  A simple but well narrated story of a boy Auggie Pullman with facial deformities joining the school and facing all odds that come with his facial deformity.  What I liked beside the mainline story is how the movie narrates in parallel the lives of other children around him. There is his own sister who feels left out because all the attention and care is directed towards her brother. She knows too well that this focus of attention on her brother is not malicious or against her, but she also realizes that her own need for warmth and affection is at stake.  Then there is her best friend struggling with similar issues.  There are the bunch of friends of Auggie back in school, each of them has his or her own story running in the background. In all these instances what comes out is the presence of one or some individuals who assure the person struggling that he or she is not alone.  That mere presence and assurance makes the whole difference between making and breaking a life.

The influence of parents is vividly seen in the life of children.  Contrast the attitude of the mother of Jack Hill with that of the parents of Julian... worlds apart.  Children usually grow up to be what their parents in fact are.  The constant love and support that Auggie receives from his own parents is truly noteworthy.

I liked in particular one of the opening quotes of the movie:

Another quote that struck me is the one uttered by the Principal of the school, when interacting with the parents of school bully;

Auggie cannot change the way he looks. But we can change the way we see!

It's a good movie to watch, but both children and caregivers (in our Salesian context) ought to watch it together.

Darkest hour

Last night some of us from the community watched the movie Darkest hour.  It is a fine make by Joe Wright about Winston Churchill.  It is a one-man performance and a remarkable one at that too.  It is more a character sketch than a historical drama involving several characters and many twists and turns.  Seen as such, very many historical inaccuracies (such as Britain being the only one who stands up against Hitler, other countries falling like a pack of cards without any real resistance, the whole British population against surrender while only the politicians, at least those in the ruling party, seeking negotiations...) can be overlooked. 

The performance by Gary Oldman as Churchill is great.  Honestly a wonderful and remarkable transformation from Commissioner Gordon (of The Dark Knight series) to Prime Minister Winston Churchill.  You simply cannot recognise that it is the same person. 

One of the most interesting dialogues that I personally liked is stated towards the end of the movie.  When the whole parliament supports Churchill's decision to stand up against Nazi invasion rather than negotiate peace with them, there are some who are very skeptical.  One of them amazed at the response Churchill's emotional speech evokes, asks the other, "What just happened?" to which Lord Halifax replies, "He mobilized the English language and sent it into battle!"

Winning by losing

There is a beautiful scene towards the end of the movie The birth of the dragon.  The two great Kung Fu masters Bruce Lee and Wong Jack Man have fought one another.  But after a while of fighting both stop, thank one another and end the fight.  Those watching the fight cannot say who won.  When they ask both of them who won, they do not respond.  It is later when an avid student approaches Wong asking him to state who among them won, so that he could declare it to the world (and gain freedom for the girl whom he loves), does the following conversation take place.

Wong: My intention was to teach Lee Jun that his attitude was irreverent and his style inadequate.  If in defeating him I've driven him further in that direction then I have lost.  If in losing to him, I've changed his direction, then I have won.  

Mac: We're not in a monastery in China.  This is America.  In America we have winners and losers.  

Wong: Life is not always that easy.  

Not always is there a clear line dividing everything in the world into good or bad, white or black, win or lose, this or that, secular or holy...  The Western mind does not know or does not want to acknowledge ambiguity.  It seeks precise definite answers, even when there cannot be answers or when answers are not that simple.

Does Charles Taylor's understanding of reasoning (and faith) and his whole exposition of language pointing us to move towards this Oriental perspective?  Jesus' teachings too contain similar paradoxes: those who want to save one's life will lose it and those giving it up will save it;  last shall be first and first, last;  when you're weak then you are strong...

Elsewhere in the movie, Master Wong tells Mac, 

Knowing you opponent and knowing yourself are the two things Kung Fu is all about. The rest is eternity. 

A western mind would clearly state: 'The rest is irrelevant'... but eternity?  Now how does one understand and explain that.  Certainly not in any easy terms! 

Phenomenon

It's been more than two weeks since I posted anything.  Not that I was busy.  Rather, was totally free!  Once again prove the age old dictum: Give work only to those who are busy; they will find time to do the additional job too.  To those who have none, don't give any!

Well, last night I watched a decent movie, Phenomenon.  Am surprised I never came across it earlier.  (By now, I must have watched practically most movies which seemed to appear on the IMDb list!).  I liked this movie in particular for the acting of John Travolta.  Never thought such role would be done any justice by an actor of Travolta's type (action, macho, rough type).  The movie is fantasy drama about a man named George Malley who suddenly becomes very bright and intelligent, after he sees a bright light on his 37th birthday.  He then begins to surprise everyone, himself included, with his vast knowledge, increased hunger for reading, psychokinesis skills and lots more.  Only later it is revealed to him that he has a sort of brain tumour that accelerates his brain's potential rather than impede it, but none the less fatal.

Two instances stand out from the movie for me.  The first is when he is angry that the townsfolk are not anymore paying attention to what he has to say but carry on probing him for what they think him to be (in touch with aliens!).  Trying to calm himself he works in his patch of the garden and at one point looks up to the gently swaying of the branches of a tree.  Honestly couldn't make out what exactly was the director hinting at through that scene which results in him becoming more calm and serene.  But one comment from a viewer that it is the realisation that only he is at rage with the rest of creation for not wanting to listen to him. The awareness that the rest of reality, in spite of knowing things and being aware of far greater truths, is still peaceful is a very humbling experience.

The second scene is when a renowned doctor wants to perform a surgery on him just for the advancement of science.  George denies him saying that he is missing out the whole point of exploring the human spirit and is instead focusing on only his brain.

Here's the scene where George explains to the children his imminent death...

A funny scene when the questioner states that he will be specific!

On another lighter note, cannot but mention one of the online viewer comments: 

Someone was diagnosed with a brain tumour and on being told this, asked his doctor if he would now have some superhuman powers.  The doctor replied, "You are not John Travolta and neither is this a movie!"

McFarland, USA

Last night I watched the movie McFarland, USA.  Am surprised I never heard of it before (given the fact that I have seen more movies in the past three years than I've seen my whole life).  The fact that it is based on a true story is what makes it really inspirational.

The movie is about a group of young boys and their coach in the neglected state of McFarland who train and go on to become the best in cross country race.  What touched me was the ease with which these youngsters could take pressure, especially of work.  Not only did they work, they studied and they trained (which is equally grueling)... all at the same time.  And they did it all with a sense of determination and joy.  Liked the movie for it portrays the value of family, of a team, of belonging, of unity, hard work, of enjoying the little things of life, prejudices and values we hold dear...

There is a truth in the quality of life lived by those who do strenuous manual labour.  I do believe that hard manual labour, especially directly in touch with nature, is a great learning experience.  The following clip is a neat summary of my sentiments too (about all those who slog it out, day in and day out, )

Loved also the amusing clips wherein this coach, used to a posh and comfortable lifestyle and setting, finds the ways of his boys used to the hard life of labour strange.  There is one particular scene wherein after being invited to join the family meal of his team, he wishes to thank the father.  Assuming that he does not know English, he asks one of his sons to tell him that he felt honoured to being invited to his house.  The son repeats the same in English!  And the father tells the son, "Tell him, that he is welcome!" ... in English!

Dunkirk

Fr John invited Br Vlastik and me to watch the movie Dunkirk at Vue in Staines today.  Personally it did not really impress me at all.  Perhaps I am comparing it to other historical war movies which were more appealing.

Anyway, was amused by the first comments of people as they walked out of the theatre after the movie.  But before that I think the director and team need to be congratulated for speaking of a rather 'not-so-glorious' moment of British history.  Dunkirk is not about the victory of the British army or navy, as most movies normally are, but about the pitiful retreat of the British army from the marauding Germans.  Truly knowing the context of the war, helps much in understanding the movie better.

Now for the comments...

It is normally I who used to choose boring movies. Today it was your turn. 

The boats were the real heroes. 

Had to shake myself up a few times from falling asleep. 

And the best one...

It was as lame as the warships! 

Values

Another interesting insight about cultural differences in the East and West from my discussion with Br Vlastik.  We were talking about hierarchy, values and culture.  It is not always that we have different values.  Mostly it is difference in prioritization of values.

For example, here in the West, personal happiness takes precedence over and above family ties.  Hence the large number of divorces, remarriages and sexual liberty.  When a man and woman marry each other, and if they do reach a point in their life together at which they feel that their personal happiness is threatened by their marital bond, then they would prefer to go separate ways than sacrifice happiness.  In the Asian culture, family unity is considered of greater importance than personal happiness.  Hence even when a married couple realises that living together is nothing short of hell, they'd still stay together.  Most often it is the woman who bears the most in our culture.  But everyone tries to retain the marital bond than break it for personal fulfillment.

Naturally someone from the East will find the high rate of divorces and breakup in the West shocking, those in the West are shocked how couples live together even if both are not really happy in the marriage!  For a Westerner looking at an Indian wife spending her whole life taking care of the house, husband and children is 'atrocious'.  For the Indian wife she feels complete when she holds the family together, even if that means she is a full time housewife.

The Hindi movie Ki & Ka comes to mind in this context.  It rightly draws one's attention to the role of the man and woman in the house, in a marriage, especially in the Indian context.

Another scene with an interesting insight into relationships and roles in family life...