Gentleness and reverence

The second reading of the sixth Sunday of Easter, a letter from St Peter, was almost a personal reminder of my own resolution, at the beginning of the year.  It was all the more striking because I failed in it even today!

Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear... 

I am aware that at times when I reply, the response is always laden with contempt and sarcasm!  It arises not just from the question or the immediate context, but from a deep rooted bias that I nurture against some principles or people.  However, good and worthy my point is, the fact that I condescend an opinion, and sometimes even people, I already lost the point.  My conscience is not clear!  One good cannot be wrought about by doing something worse.  I'm driving home the wrong message.  The problem is not with the message, it is with me. 

Gentleness and reverence!  

Visit of the Rector Major

The Rector Major of the Salesians of Don Bosco is visiting our community tomorrow.  This is his maiden visit to this Province and certainly to this community.  The last time a Rector Major visited Chertsey was 50 years ago - that was Fr Ricceri.

Well, I just can't help comparing this occasion here and now, and if it were to be in any of our Indian provinces!  Back in India, the preparations would have been going on for almost a year.  For the past one month or so, everyone in the house would have been going bonkers over the whole event.  The whole house taking on a new look - not only physical appearance, by way of painting, cleaning and tidying up, but also by way of decoration and additional beautification.  Besides everyone in town, and I mean, everyone, would know that he is coming.  Of that the Salesians and those living in the house would make sure of.  Then there is the whole extravagance of welcome, felicitation, cultural programmes, talks and invitation cards and related things - one of each of these in the house, the boarding, the school, the parish... Each place would like to have something special for him.  There will also be a long list of things he will have to inaugurate - even if they are still halfway through completion or have already been in use for sometime now!  And for all these events, who is invited and what role assigned to each, is thought over a thousand times - not to mention the seating arrangement at each instance!  Then there are the meals - ah!  Besides inviting the whole town, there is the special menu and the 'other' menu.  And within the special menu, there is 'the Rector Major's table' and his diet.  That is normally assigned to the Salesian Sisters.  All in all, by the time he leaves the place, everyone is so exhausted, we all need a week to recover.  Certainly much more than a week, to recover from the financial expenses!

But here, things are very sober.  No extravagance, whatsoever.  True that he is coming to Chertsey, and he is visiting the school, the university and the parish.  But at none of these places, is there any 'extra' decoration or pomp.  Hell, we did not even clean the house!  But that's because it is cleaned periodically - and is clean!  Food, there is a grand meal - but that's only for 18 people, including the 8 confreres living here.  He is inaugurating the renovated School hall, but even there all that is planned is a short prayer, sprinkling of the holy water and perhaps a ribbon cutting or so.  That's it.  I don't think the hall is specially decorated or anything for this.  And it was ready and in use since September.

Both these procedures and attitudes towards the same event, for the same person, have their own reasons and advantages.  It certainly has much to do with our respective cultural norms as well - especially those concerning guests.  The one great advantage of the former (Indian) style is the way we get our children and youth involved.  And for them too it is a matter of great joy and privilege.  But for every other reason, I see a greater virtue in the latter style.  Again, for the youngsters.  We do not put up a show for someone, but live the high standard of cleanliness, order, functionality, all through.  Most importantly, everyone is respected - whether that be a simple technician coming in to do some repair work or the Bishop or the Rector Major.  Of course, we do not lay out the grand meal table for the former, but everyone is treated respectfully.  Even in the case of the grand meal, the content of the meal is the same we would have for our feast days or b'day celebrations.  Not over the top!

I remember a confrere in the Province serving the Regional, during his official Canonical visit to the community, in a steel plate and tumbler!  His argument, "He is coming to share in our day-to-day life.  And this is exactly how we live our day-to-day life.  Why buy special crockery and exquisite glasses for his visit?"  I, for one, am perfectly in total agreement with that confrere.  

Respect

You don't throw a whole life away just because it's banged up a little... 

That's one of the punch lines from the movie Seabiscuit

Why respect some great thinker, politician or celebrity if somewhere in his or her speeches or texts he or she has a very "biased" opinion about a certain group of people?  Why respect Kant and Hume, if they strongly felt that the whites were superior to the coloured skin? Why read and appreciate Aristotle if he felt men were superior to women?  Source: Aeon

• Disrespecting the whole person and all his or her writings betrays a profound lack of understanding of how socially we are influenced, even the greatest of minds of any time. 
• Never take one of their personal convictions to be the bedrock of all their thought and philosophy.  
• We are judging them by today's standards and cultural openness - something that they did not have the privilege to in their times.  
• While an individual is ultimately responsible for his own thoughts and actions, one cannot be held solely responsible, if the whole ambiance of his lifetime is flawed or biased.  (Jesus saying, "You don't give the dogs food meant for the children")
• Accepting and admiring the deep thoughts of such men and women, is not affirming their 'racist or sexist' thoughts.  Racism and sexism were never okay, people simply wrongly believed that they were.
• See if their fundamental way of thinking would be negatively prejudiced if applied today. 

Given Aristotle’s openness to evidence and experience, there is no question that today he would need no persuading that women are men’s equals. Hume likewise always deferred to experience, and so would not today be apt to suspect anything derogatory about dark-skinned peoples. In short, we don’t need to look beyond the fundamentals of their philosophy to see what was wrong in how they applied them.

• Excusing them is not the same as excusing someone who's living today with some of those distorted values. We, the living, have the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons; we have history to learn from; we have the possibility of making amends; we may not be the ones who created such notions but are very much in a position to challenge them; we certainly are 'better equipped'... the dead have no such possibility! 

Respect and courtesy

Two days ago we received a letter from the National Rail informing us of the planned renovation work of the foot-over bridge at the local Chertsey railway station.  It informed us of the dates, time and the detailed reason for the renovation work.  It also had details of the types of work being carried out and proposals for alternates during the course of renovation work during which the bridge would not be usable.  The letter was sent to all the residents of Chertsey! 

Truly an amazing gesture and act of courtesy.  However, the residents of Chertsey see no great merit in this.  For me though it means much.  Coming from a place where repairs and renovations are hardly done and even when undertaken, no information, leave alone details of the procedure or duration would be available even on asking, this letter marks a significant sign of progress and respect. 

I remember even when our neighours hold parties they inform us and request us to bear the "noise" - music - and assure us by what time it would all conclude.  The note also includes the reason for the celebration and apologies, in advance, for the inconvenience caused.  Back in India, people blare music so loud and long that not only the immediate neighbours, but the whole locality would be unable to sleep the whole night or even do have a decent conversation!  But no letter or information, leave alone, an apology is issued, or expected! 

Respect and courtesy.  Two simple gestures ease so much of tension and go a long way in building relationships.    

Luxury of plenty

Some confreres still get surprised when they see me eat breakfast (for quite sometime now it is only brunch!)... just anything that is there in the fridge.  I mostly eat what is most likely to go in the bin the first!  No one in the community really eats anything that's left over of the previous meals.  Meals containing fish is a perfect 'no-repeat'!  However, with me, there is no expiry date for any food!  This morning someone asked me, "How can you take that for breakfast?"  I replied, "Why not? It is food.  For those who have the luxury of plenty and choice, there is 'breakfast', 'lunch' and 'dinner'.  For the many who hardly have enough to eat, it is just food!"

Coming from a culture where I food is valued with great respect and having grown up in a habit of not wasting any food, I now cannot stomach food being thrown.  There is also the respect for the farmer who slogs for months or years to grow the produce, be that a vegetable or an animal.  Then there is the animal or the fish that is slain purely for consumption.  If that sole purpose is so easily and fanatically discarded, then life itself is treated so. Here in the UK, sometimes 'health and safety' does cross the threshold of paranoia.

Free speech

For quite some time now, here in the UK there is a growing debate about 'free speech' and right to freedom of expression.  There are different takes on this issue.  Drawing the line between hate speech and free speech is one.  Between racism and tolerance on the other.  Of late there is another tendency that is noticed - something not very common in the West, at least not so apparent - the blunt shutting down of voices that differ or express a different opinion than one's own.

I remember Fr T.D. John sharing his secret criteria to know who among the debaters is losing the argument: the one shouting louder!!  And I have to agree that has always been the case: the one shouting higher and higher has run out of arguments and is therefore employing another tactic to win: shutting the other off, rather than proving his point.

Offensiveness or wrong-headedness hurt no one. The claim that they do is designed to shut down legitimate debate. 

The proper antidote to speech that offends is other speech.  Opinion anchored in reason can be countered by other opinion. Lies can be exposed by factual evidence. Truth emerges from debate and disagreement.  

The only sort of speech that deserves to be banned, on campus or elsewhere, is that which peddles true prejudice. This means speech that attacks people on the basis of an irrational hatred which by definition is immune to reasoned argument.
...
An opinion can be contested.  Irrational hatred cannot. Drawing the line between the two is to balance on a high wire. 

[From an article titled 'Where to draw the line on true free speech' by Melanie Phillips The Times January 2, 2018]

Respect

Know not if this distinction is sensible or unnecessary but speaking of respect, there can be of two kinds: appraisal and recognition.  While the former is something that I accord (or deny) to someone on the basis of their actions, virtues, words and so on.  In short, it is esteem. The latter is something that I accord to all persons irrespective of what they do or say or not.  It is recognizing their personhood and acknowledging that aspect.

While there can be a very limited number of persons in the 'appraisal' category but none can be exempted from the 'recognition' category.

Or is this basically a classification similar to love-like? That I'm called to love everyone but then I can like or dislike people for various reasons.  Anyway, makes some sense.  But there is something that tells me that all is not well with this distinction.  

Support system for the differently-abled

Have been reading something about the various facilities and services rendered for those differently-abled.  By all standards, those whom people call back in India call 'mad' and have no hesitation confining them to an asylum, are not looked down upon here in the West.  Those with autism have opportunities to suit their growth process and are certainly encouraged to be part of society's mainstream - much more than in India.  Then there are all the various facilities offered or made available in common places (ramps, lifts, allocated seats, parking spaces, tailored vehicles, separate office/department for additional help) for the physically-challenged is truly praise-worthy.

On this one count of the support-system for the differently-abled, I certainly respect the European culture.

The Holy Eucharist

A Protestant Pastor and a Catholic Priest were engaged in a conversation during which the Priest offered the Pastor a compliment.

I admire the way you break the Word of God and speak so passionately about the Word. 

The Pastor returned the compliment saying

I admire the way you clean up after the Mass... as if the Eucharist is the real body of Jesus Christ. 

(This was narrated by Fr Pandicherry Joseph, recalling one of Fr Loddy Pires' retreat talks, many years ago).

In a courtroom

For the first time I entered a courtroom today - a civil court in Sangareddy, Medak district. It was in connection with a land dispute we are embroiled in for the past ten years. I accompanied our accountant, who was to be cross-examined today as one of the witnesses who signed the gift deed (which is now being contested).

Anyway, I was impressed by the neat halls, verandahs and the whole structure of the building.  What impressed me most was the decorum in the courtroom.  Everyone who entered the courtroom, the lawyers in particular, would greet the judge with a namaste or a gentle bow.  That the judge hardly noticed these salutations is secondary.  It reminded me of our entry into the Churches and Chapels!  Then it struck me that this too is a place of respect and reverence.  Not necessarily for the person but for the role he is carrying out - that of ensuring justice for all.

The second thing I liked was the reverence all the lawyers had for the judge.  I'm sure not all would be pleased with him or approve of his decisions and that some - or most - would even curse him outside the courtroom... but in his presence they were all very very respectful and disciplined.  Even the senior lawyers much beyond the age of the judge himself, were of the same attitude.

Finally, the judge himself was very stern and sure of his role.  He reminded me of Fr Ivo who has the knack of asking one sharp question and leave us all bewildered.  Right at that moment we would not understand the relevance of that question but a calm and prepared reflection would help one see the centrality of that question to the matter in discussion.  This judge too had that unique ability.  He was stern but polite and most importantly swift.

Leadership

Who is normally elected as leader - of a rather sensible and mature group?
(Just a few of the essential characteristics in a context where those with neither brains nor balls get elected!)

• A person of certain moral standing, capable of living an authentic life of witness. 
• One who has both, the humility to ask for help and the courage to demand responsibilities/duties be fulfilled by its members. 
• One who can consult as well as take sound decisions, and stand by them. 
• One who can demand privileges for the group when rightfully deserving, on the one hand and on the other, pull up its members for falling below certain accepted standards. 
• One who is respectful towards all but frightened of none but God. 

What if some of these or none of these are taken into consideration when election of a leader?  I suppose, it goes without saying the poor quality of leadership and in a sense, the level of maturity of the group. 

Teachers' Day

Tomorrow, India commemorates Teachers' day... a day dedicated to felicitate the teachers in our schools and colleges, in fond memory of Dr Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan.  In schools this is really a day of celebration for children as they express their sentiments for their respective teachers, and being children they are sincere in their feedback!  However, as we grow older, this respect and admiration for the teachers turns into disrespect and despise.

Being teachers, as those involved in one of most noble profession of imparting knowledge and leading young minds in their search for wisdom, is enough reason to demand one's respect.  Irrespective of their educational qualification or lack of it, whether competent or not, respecting teachers is the duty of a student - not an optional privilege!  Indian tradition lays before us a beautiful example when it equates a Guru to God himself - the other two being mother and the guest.

... and the best gift or form of respect a student can offer to one's teacher is to grow in wisdom and build one's life on values.  This begins when a student is open and willing to learn, however little or much the teacher has to offer.  

Being a formator 2

To be appointed in a formation setting would not default make one a formator.  If that were the criterion then perhaps, our staff members who are serving the community for nearly 22 years are better formators than anyone else!

To be a formator one ought to be able to help the young grow in their vocation.  Now that word 'vocation' could be understood narrowly in the sense that of the consecrated life or religious life or in a broader and better sense to mean, vocation to life.

It struck me yesterday evening that to be a formator of religious or consecrated life, would demand of me that I am first able to form young people in their vocation to life.  How can I form vocation to consecrated life, if I have no idea or clue or interest in helping young people appreciate life... life in its basic form, in its human form?

Human life, Christian life, Consecrated life are concentric circles and not merely intersecting circles.  To reach the inner, more challenging aspect of Consecrated life, I ought to go through human and Christian life.  

The fire within...

The other day Fr Maliekal was speaking about Moses and his interaction with the Egyptians, his fellow Hebrews and his subsequent encounter with God. He highlighted the transition of Moses from one who was all strength and power (wherein he tries to settle things with the oppressive Egyptian and intervenes during the fight between the two Hebrews) to one who surrenders to God and His plan (before the burning bush) and that too with lots of reservations - I'm unable to speak, I'm not courageous!  What happened to that vigorous Moses? What happened to his fire?

I believe this is a real transformation.  I set out on my own and then in due time and occasion ask God to add His bit to my effort.  It is not that I initially set out in rebellion against God or out of pride.  No, not at all!  Rather I set out in respect and confidence that I've been blessed by God with those skills and energies to do my bit on His behalf.  As much as I can, I do... for what I'm able to achieve, is again not totally my own, but something gifted by Him.

Contrary to this strategy is the one wherein I 'surrender' outright and do nothing! This is a real lame excuse, according to me, of very many who call themselves spiritual or pious.  If God did not consider you and me worth anything, He'd have made us as sticks or stones, not human beings!  So rather than insult the creator or one who gifted me with what I have, I put to use these to do my bit.  That's prayer; that's respect; that's partnership; that's treating God as a person! 

Want fair treatment?

Quote, I found, quite inspirational for the day...

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. 

Respect precedes trust

Late yesterday it struck me that amidst all the "lavish" spending on maintenance and repairs, I never once thought of Divine Providence or even acknowledged its gracious blessings of late. Perhaps it is because its blessings abound, and may be only when we are dire straits we would petition Providence. The much spoken and true aspect of the role of Divine Providence in our Salesian tradition and life is something we often take for granted or are oblivious about. I would not say that we do not trust Divine Providence, it is just that we do not really acknowledge its gracious presence and works.

Truly then, the ideal prayer and attitude of mine ought to be that of gratitude and respect for Divine Providence. That it has blessed the community with so much and I am appreciative of it and thereby also take upon myself the responsibility to take care of things we already have - before we pray for new things. Respect, I truly believe is the pre-requisite of trust in Divine Providence.

A lesson in friendship and fidelity

In the Gospel this morning, the paralytic man lowered from the roof by his friends was saved more because of the faith of his friends, than perhaps his own (When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven"). Jesus recognises this man's ability to have such friends... the courage to pick and choose those who would be with him in thick and thin... then live righteously enough to win the respect and love of those friends who would go to any extent to see him well.

Who are my friends? Whom do I associate most with? Will they, when I am unable to approach Jesus by myself or am moving away from Him, lead me to Him?

Rephrased fourth Commandment

It has been one of those crazy days when you really do not know what is happening to you and what you are doing or what you will have to do next! Anyway, a good bath in the evening was refreshing.

Fr KT in his goodnight made a nice point when he rephrased the fourth commandment (Honour your father and mother): Love those who take care of you.

Calling one another to responsibility

Calling one another to responsibility is one great act of charity we fear to undertake. This is one of greatest curse of religious community life. And I fear this is the greatest source of motivation for young people to join us - setting in motion a vicious circle. I remember challenging some good students of mine - good, but not courageous enough to stand up for what is right - with this prophecy: if you do not have the guts to stand up against your own companions, you will never ever even whisper a sigh against the injustice you face in the world outside in your apostolate; leave alone demand justice and responsibility.

The humane-ness of Ruth

Among all the stories of the Old Testament in the Bible, the one of Ruth appeals most to me. Reflecting as to why this is so, I realise that the story of Ruth is one of common man. It is a story that tugs at your humanity. Nothing supernatural or extravagant, but a simple and straight story of love, concern and fidelity. Perhaps the divine element is there, (may be emerges later, when we see the connection between her offspring and Jesus Christ) but certainly not over emphasised.

This leads me to postulate that Ruth did have a good family upbringing. She sensed the pain and the loneliness of Naomi and therefore was willing to give up her comfort (and right?) to stand by her mother-in-law in her need. It is good to take note of this, lest we have a narrow idea that only the 'chosen people' were the most virtuous. Graces are bestowed upon all, irrespective of any distinction. It is up to us to appropriately respond to them. This response is what makes us sinners or saints.

Most important lesson from the life of Ruth: humanity precedes/channels divinity.