Reputation and honour

Quote for the day:

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself.  Guard your honour.  Let your reputation fall where it will. 

Lois McMaster Bujold, novelist, A Civil Campaign (1999).

Daily commitment

No honourable feat is the result of a single spontaneous instant decision. It precedes many such small decisions for that one great act to appear spontaneous.  So is a grave mistake or mortal sin.  No one makes such a sin, without previously indulging oneself in petty mistakes and compromises, which eventually lead one to the 'big error'.

So how to achieve great merit or virtue?  Or how to avoid landing in the 'big error' or 'grave danger'? Mind the small, daily decisions and acts.  What you decide at each relaxed, calm and serene moment is what you will eventually decide later when under duress or strain.

Make hay while the sun shines!

Visitors to DBNJ

Yesterday and today we had a string of visitors and sponsors... of various things and sorts.  Some sponsoring food, some cash, some clothes, some sweets, some offered books, some stationery and some basically to enquire about the possible modes of involvement.  It is rather taxing to meet them all and worse still is the amount of time that is consumed in speaking and interacting with these guests. While on the one hand, it is a good sign that people would like to get involved in the lives of these children in their own ways.  However, on the other hand, some do it out of pity.  That's quite pitiful!  Such 'pity' acts I always discourage and brush away.  Because that truly belittles the children, of which I do not approve.  I'd like to give the child an integrity and dignity which it is due... not some pity.  I aim to help children grow with pride and honour, able to ride upon their own confidence and not on someone else's leftovers.

One thing that sponsors first observe among our children is the spontaneity and their joy at being here.  No long faces or sad looks.  They are at home with the staff, with us Fathers and Brothers, and among themselves too.  They need not act before guests and put up a facade, like in some other childrens' homes.  They are the same as everyday, every other time.

(the temptation to take snaps of these guests always tugs at my hands but I resist... would like to keep the focus on the children) 

Honour and Justice

Honour requires more than admission... so I offer a full confession and the whole truth. For far too long, I failed to recognize my own hypocrisy. I ignored my own cowardice, conveniently hiding behind a position of political compromise. And for what? To retain the meagre wealth and rank that men desire. So I come before you a condemned man for having finally stood up to injustice. My shame and regret is that I failed to do so before it arrived in my own court. 

(from the movie Last Knights)

Pimp in the mirror

Speaking of leadership, here's an excerpt from The Week, "Follow the Spirit" by Sudhir Kakar (February 3, 2013; p. 60-61)...

... Then comes personal identity. A leader must determine which lines he or she will, or will not, cross. A good way of clarifying this is the mirror test: "How do I feel about myself while looking at the mirror?"
It comes from the story of a German ambassador in London who, as part of a celebration he had to host in honour of King Edward, was asked to hire prostitutes. He resigned. Asked why, he said, "I refused to see a pimp in the mirror in the morning, when I shave."

Honour

I was watching the concluding scene of the movie Men of Honor, truly an inspirational movie about a black American making his way up the ladder in the American navy... all driven by a dream, a passion, to live with honour.  In spite of all hardships and adversities, he seems to reach where he once dreamt of reaching.  However, tragedy strikes and he is on the verge of being expelled from the navy.  He does not give up and once again beats all odds to prove his determination and capability of serving in the navy, as a deep-sea diver.  

His (Carl Brashear) fight was not against those who opposed him, rather his goal was to attain his dreams.  He was his own challenge.  He had no spite for those who put obstacles on his path.  Even later after being reinstated, he served with joy and valour; he did not go about blowing his trumpet or criticising the authorities.  He was passionate about what he wanted to be and nothing else mattered. He did not have to prove anything to anyone but himself. 

Touchback: A movie of the past for the present

I watched the new movie Touchback today (of course, in bits and pieces). But it was worth it. As one reviewer put it (speaking about the movie dvd): "... buy it, borrow it, steal it, copy it, but please see it." Having watched the movie, I perfectly agree with the reviewer.

It is the story of a football player who gets a chance to relive his high school days, at the end of which 15 years ago, he injured his leg and thereby lost his chance to go to college and play as a professional. As he finds himself in a known situation, he relooks at the very things (present) knowing well what is the future. Initially he is excited that he can now literally rewrite the past, especially his dream of getting out of the small native town he has grown up in and become a professional football player. However, his interactions with his coach, his own single mother and most of all with an unknown girl (who in his present is his wife) in the college - not unknown, but he never really did notice her then - he begins to see the beauty of the present. His mother challenges him to be happy now, rather than eternally keep chasing happiness in the future. Finally when he actually has a chance to change the present, in line with his grand plans for the future, he does the same as he did then, 15 years ago... all for the sake of retaining what is most important in life... love and friendship of those dear and not personal plans for glory.

I wonder how many of us, if given a chance to go back into our past and change things, would change the whole of it? Or some of it? Or most of it? Blessed are those who will live it as it is and be happy about it! Because only then will each present moment count and every choice made valuable, because my present is more important than my past or the future... because my choice for the right and lasting things of life is more important than momentary glory and honour.

Rephrased fourth Commandment

It has been one of those crazy days when you really do not know what is happening to you and what you are doing or what you will have to do next! Anyway, a good bath in the evening was refreshing.

Fr KT in his goodnight made a nice point when he rephrased the fourth commandment (Honour your father and mother): Love those who take care of you.

A few good men

There was a time I avoided watching some movies, not because they were 'bad' but I thought they had nothing to offer. One of them was 'A few good men'... I realised how wrong I was when I ultimately watched it, of course as ever in bits and pieces!! It is a very powerful movie which inspires where to draw the line between duty and responsibility, between doing good and being good. A splendid movie indeed... with messages galore.

I liked the way the actors play their role... great performances by all the leading actors, Tom Cruise, Jack Nickolson (the best as ever!) and Demi Moore. It is a story of how two American soldiers (given all their ranks and titles) are accused of murder of one of their own fellow soldier in Cuba. The fact: they were ordered to, by their highest commanding officer! The story is all about how the young inexperienced lawyer gets the commanding officer to admit this fact, when there are no proofs or witnesses to support the soldiers. At the end, the court passes judgment that the two soldiers are not guilty of murder or attempt to murder but guilty of 'behaviour unbecoming of a soldier' - hence dismissed from being Marines. One of the two reacts saying, that they were just following orders. The other responds, "We did wrong. We were meant to protect the weak and fight for them. We were supposed to fight for Willy (the one they murdered)." The closing scene is that of the lawyer appreciating the latter saying, "You do not need to wear a patch on your shoulder to have honour."

How I wish we too learn the message: we do not need the cassock or the badge of being a religious to have 'honour'. Honour and courage are virtues far above anyone's personal property. They are associated with the inner being of our selves rather than what we wear or what we say.