My name

The power and influence of one's name over ones own life, especially the psyche, is enormous. I've seen its influence over the years of my work with the young Salesians and Diocesans. 

There have been times, when years later, people have approached me with a BIG THANKS, for one primary reason: consistently addressing them by their name, rather than the nickname given by their own companions. Even to this day, I prefer to call people by their given name or a name they liked to be called by, rather than a nickname or some weird nondescript sound. 

 

Love transforms everything

 [Reflection by Fr Jijo Jose Manjackal MSFS] 

 A Dutch diamond collector was seeking for a very rare diamond. 

 A diamond dealer in New York heard of this inquiry and contacted him letting him know that he believed he possessed the diamond he was looking for. The diamond collector arrived and the dealer had his salesman present the diamond. 

 The salesman described all the technical aspects of the diamond. However, within minutes, the diamond collector rose his hand and said: “I am sorry! This is not the diamond I am looking for” and began to walk away. 

 Watching from a distance, the diamond dealer hurriedly intercepted him and he asked him if he could present the diamond again. Since he had travelled a long distance, the collector agreed to listen once again. The dealer pulled out the same diamond and started describing his admiration for this particular diamond. 

 Within minutes they were signing papers, and the diamond was purchased. 

 As the gentleman was walking out, he asked, what just happened? Why was it so easy for me to say no to your salesman a little while ago, while with you I purchased the diamond? The dealer replied: “That salesman is the best in the business. He knows more about diamonds than anyone, including myself, and I pay him a large salary for his knowledge and expertise. But I would gladly pay him twice as much if I could put into him something I have, which he lacks. You see, he knows diamonds but I love them!” 

 Love transforms everything!

Groundnuts (Part 2)

  Two stories related to groundnuts are famous in the Province. The second story, sometime in the 2000s, at Karunapuram. 

This incident was during the time of Fr Gopu Marreddy as administrator at Karunapuram.  This is narrated and verified by him in person! 

It was his first year as administrator at Karunapuram and there was the place around the football court that was cultivated once or twice before him.  The farmhand reminded Fr Marreddy that it was time to plant something in the garden and when asked what was planted the previous year, the farmhand replied that they had planted groundnuts.  So they decided to cultivate the same.  Fortunately there were some leftover seeds of the previous year and they decided to use them instead of purchasing again.  

The seeds were planted, they sprouted, the community was involved in taking care, additional people were employed to weed and spread manure and fertilizers and finally the crop was ready for harvest. The Brothers did the harvesting and the yield was good and plentiful.  

As a goodwill gesture, the same evening Fr Marreddy sent small portions of the harvest to the neighbouring religious of Karunapuram.  The next day morning when he went to the JMJ convent for Mass, he noticed the Sisters quite amused and jittery! He somehow celebrated the Mass without being able to shake off this feeling.  After Mass when he entered their dining hall for breakfast, the Sisters, in chorus, congratulated him:  "Congratulations dear Fr. We never ever heard or saw this before, but you successfully managed to grow seedless groundnuts!!"  

It turned out that although the harvest appeared good and was plentiful, it was empty inside for most of it!!! Thus began the saga of Fr Marreddy growing 'seedless groundnuts'!  

Groundnuts (Part 1)

 Two stories related to groundnuts are famous in the Province. The older story first. 

In the early years of St Antony's, Kadapa when the Salesians were entrusted with the house and much before the Hyderabad Province was carved out, Fr M. A. Jacob was the Rector and Fr EJ Mathew was the administrator.  So on the particular occasion of the commemoration of the multiplication of the walnuts by Don Bosco at the Oratory during his time, the Salesian houses then distributed groundnuts in India (for walnuts were not available). When it was the day, Fr Jacob reminded Fr EJ to get groundnuts for the Technical school boys. Fr EJ's Telugu was not that good, but somehow communicated to the staff to get the groundnuts. 

When asked how to distribute it, Fr EJ told the staff to fry them.  "But how?" asked the staff. "Mix them up in sand and roast them in a pan," was the instruction given out.  The staff looked puzzled and not sure if that was right.  After much insistence he did it. Before the distribution could begin, he brough out the bowl. Inside it was groundnut powder mixed with sand!!! The staff had understood groundnuts as groundnuts powder!!!  

Dependence

 My recent reflection based on the FCRA cancellations and the upcoming concerns with foreign funding, brings back to the fore our reliance on projects, to the extent of crippling out initial passion to work by ourselves. The availability of funding actually makes us lazy!! 

Earlier our predecessors worked with a vision, firmly rooted in the context of the place. Their humble initiatives were not project-bound. They just did all they could. Their time, talents, will and available resources were the investment. Recognising this total and joyful commitment, donors offered their mite by way of financial resources. The focus of our early Salesians was not projects or funding; it was the apostolate. At no costs did they halt the apostolate, even when funding dwindled. God provided. 

Today we ride on the merit of their hard work. Our commitment levels are far lower than theirs. Riddled with personal agenda and selfishness, our apostolate is often a showcasing of ourselves rather than a genuine concern for the growth of the young people. In such a context, external funding only feeds our lethargy and selfishness. 

So I wonder, if my insistence on accountability is misplaced. The greater emphasis should be on discerning the real needs of the young, with a far sighted vision for their long term growth; earning by the sweat of one's brow; maximum utilisation of available resources rather than new resources - with a clear firm focus on the young and God, taking ones own wants out of the calculation. 

Staying put on the primary purpose

 The parable of the good seed and the bad seed, calls our attention to focus on the purpose and not be distracted or settle for something less (negating evil) than primarily intended (doing good).

Weeds are a nightmare for any gardner. They are those plants which have mastered every art of survival except that of growing in straight lines. Moreover they never can be got rid of. However the farmer in the parable chooses to stay focussed on growing wheat and not to focus on the weeds. He chooses to stay a farmer rather than turn detective hunting down the culprit who showed the darnel; or shift his attention to the weeds, at the cost of the wheat. 

The farmer stays put on doing good (growing useful wheat) rather than eliminating evil (weeding out the darnel). The former indirectly achieving the latter, while the latter does not always or necessarily result in the former. 

Thanksgiving rather than a petition

 Lord, stay with us! 

This was the theme of our recollection talk yesterday.  Drawing it sensibly from the passage of the Emmaus story and the numerous instances in the Bible, the talk highlighted the importance of this short but effective prayer: Lord, stay with us! Also a very very Salesian theme (accompaniment!). 

The talk also included the narration of an incident in the life of Mahatma Gandhi.  He was once travelling by train to Bhuvaneshwar to attend a rally.  He chose to travel in the general compartment, packed with people. Those accompanying him and others who knew him offered him a seat in that packed compartment.  A bulky man too entered soon after and noticed the extra space for this 'skinny man' - people out of respect dared not to cramp Gandhi and hence had made extra space for him.  This hefty man, not recognising Gandhi, was infact going to the same place to listen to Gandhi! They did interact a couple of minutes but not much.  Only on reaching the station and noticing the crowd gathered to welcome Gandhi, did he realise that he travelled a long distance beside the very man whom he wished to hear - without knowing and engaging in a conversation! 

Such is also our rapport with God.  While the prayer, 'Stay with us, Lord' is a very genuine and heartfelt prayer, I believe it is not always the right kind of prayer.  I believe, God is ALWAYS with us.  It is we who do not feel his presence.  Hence rather than ask Him to be with us, we ought to pray that we realise and cherish His presence.  From another perspective, more than a petition, the latter attitude or realisation is a prayer of thanksgiving: THANK YOU Lord, for being with me! 

Pick your battles

 This evening while in prayer it struck me that I ought to share with some young Salesians this advice: Pick your battles. 

With more and more complexities in community life and apostolate, the major hurdle often is lack of communication and discord within the community.  While there is much to be done outside, when there is discord within, there is hardly anything substantial or meaningful achieved elsewhere.  But when there is communion within the community, in spite of and through the internal disagreements and fights, miracles happen! 

In those places where there are people who are well intentioned and hard working, there is also this sort of ego clash that breaks the harmony.  The disagreement is not about the task as such but perhaps about the way of going about. Such and other trivial matters need to be cleverly handled and understood. They are often not the crux of the matter and hence need not - and should not - becomes obstacles for the process of good.  

If the matter is not concerning basic primary principles or values, but only accidentals, one can give in for the greater good rather than fight it out for the trivial matters and miss out doing the greater good.  Hence the need to be prudent to pick one's battles.  Not every battle is to be waged, leave alone won.  Not worth dissipating our energies on the non-essentials.  But if it pertains the core matters of our life and living, and it makes a world of difference to the beneficiaries, then it certainly is worth battling it out.  

Inadequacy of words

 I personally prefer to spend time in silence while in the Chapel.  Words and long prayers really don't offer me much of help.  But in silence and personal conversation, I find peace and great meaning.  

There is only so much that words can express.  Emotions and feelings often are on another level. The inadequacy of words is apparent all the more when the words and text are of someone else. While prayers and words of someone else often has a supportive character, they fall short of always being personalised.  I am unique and so is my context and life.  Hence it is very very difficult to match that with someone somewhere sometime and his or her life and context.  Sometimes even my own words feel insufficient or even obstructive. 

The best is that silence which does not easily let one be idle!  Silence in prayer has a totally different aura about it and the impact it has on oneself. 

 

Appreciation

 There is on some rare occasions a fervour aroused and a passionate appeal made on behalf of certain sections or professions in the society.  All of these professions are certainly noble and praiseworthy.  It is just that the fervent stirred is short lived!  Take for example, the focus on farmers.  Then there is the patriotic sentiment aroused in the name of the armed services. Or the doctors. The whole country is carried away by these 'advertisements'.  But their genuine needs and protests are not something that touches or moves us.  

The farmers agitation in north and south India went on for months.   During that time, there was much media publicity about these protests.  Slowly that wound up - the broadcasting, not the protest.  What happened to those farmers and their attempts is unknown!  But we had our supply of fruits and vegetables - and we were happy! 

Each of these services is truly of great importance. But when the span of attention and appreciation is very short and passing, the respect due to them is not genuine.  It is only a fad.  

I came across someone sharing their experience of some shops in Japan displaying, with the farm produce, the name and photo of the farmer who cultivated them.  That's something noble. A truly personal touch and link between the end-user and the producer of the fruit or the vegetable. 

Unnecessary complications

 As it is we have been having great trouble keeping up with the numerous Income Tax demands and notices that keep coming in every other day.  Added to that there is the constant flux of FCRA norms and rules.  

But the icing on the cake is when we have to explain to confreres how to send out mails: where to find 'reply all', how to log in using the recovery phone, that there is a thing call 'incognito mode', to send out a reply the main first mail using the text received in one of the subsequent mails in the same conversation, where to find 'bcc' or even 'cc' - leave alone explain to them what each stands for and does! 

Today is one of those days, where explaining a simple thing as sending out a multiple reply or logging into a mail account lying dormant for months, was more complicated and taxing than what those mails were about!!

Prayer and meaning - mismatch

 This particular thought occurred to me the first time when I was in the UK.  All of a sudden, when deeply engaged in reading the heavy philosophical texts as part of my study, it hit me that I was not really paying attention to what I was reading!  It was true that I wasn't distracted, or was not paying attention to the text I was reading, just that my mind was simultaneously busy with something else. 

I could conveniently read a text and still be gladly letting my mind think of something else altogether, without breaking the flow of reading. I tried if reading aloud helped me concentrate on the text, rather than let my mind be on something else and surprisingly I found that it was easier that silent reading!! 

I couldn't get my mind around this strange phenomenon that I noticed in myself and tried to see how and where could I have picked up this habit of disconnecting my eyes, mouth and mind! I soon found the source: during prayer! One day, sooner than later, it struck me that I was praying the breviary, the psalms, but my mind was elsewhere.  That's when it hit me that over the years, I've learnt to think of something totally unrelated to what I am reading - thanks to my community prayer moments!  I can confidently, in a loud and clear voice, read the psalms from the breviary, all the while thinking about my office work or plan a budget!  

Over the years I've tried to break this unhealthy habit, but with no success. I realise I've deeply imbibed it unconsciously, perhaps.