Insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!

 This quote is often attributed to Albert Einstein.  Whoever may be the actual one who first decided to define insanity in such terms, is to be appreciated. 

Translating the word 'insanity' into the local telugu language sounds more powerful and apt! And there are quite a few Salesians who excel in this art of insanity.  But what qualifies some of us, more as perfectly insane is the stubbornness with which we justify doing the same.  Not even are we open to considering alternatives or possibilities or even an evaluation of the same. 

If Einstein were to have known some of these typical Salesians he would certainly have added another like to the same definition of insanity: Doling out money over and over again, without as much as a plan or effort, and expecting miracles to happen... that's a higher stage of insanity! 

Guilt, courage and change

 When confronted by someone, abruptly out of the blues, with some serious lacuna or fault of ours, the most common and immediate reaction (besides shock) is denial.  One is too lost to see oneself 'naked', exposed.  Naturally the mind goes into overdrive to cover oneself up - with whatever one can think of!  In this process, one blurts out things which often end up doing more damage than good.  

While this immediate response or reaction is understandable, continuing to be in that same state of denial and attempting to cover things up, is a sign of a weakened conscience. Such a person will always find it hard to make any changes in one's own life, because he or she has not really accepted the truth about oneself.  Without primarily accepting one's own given situation, and acknowledging (at least to oneself) that it is not the best of oneself, how does one move to a better state of life or living?  

While guilt is a terrible burden, it can also move us to be courageous.  Courageous enough to accept the fault and seek ways to make up for it, all the while keen on making oneself a better person.  I also understand that it is easy for me to write this, as one not affected.  Nonetheless, I tell myself, if I do not have the honesty to admit my own mistakes, small ones to begin with, and in all sincerity, I will never have the courage needed to admit mistakes that I constantly bury without a funeral! 

Comfort in misery

 The incident we hear in the gospel today can also be interpreted differently, indicating to us that the Lord expects us to take responsibility for ourselves.  Not merely wait for help to arrive and do all the work.  We are expected to do the heavy lifting ourselves, for ourselves! 

The man at the pool of Bethesda, is shown as waiting for healing. Unfortunately there is always - always?- someone who enters into the stirred miraculous waters before he could.  Now this could be the case of a couple of days or months.  But it cannot be so for ages!  Unless, the man himself is not keen to get healed!  He is comfortable in his misery. Perhaps, he is used to earning a living 'showcasing' his physical condition of paralysis. 

To such a man shirking his responsibility, Jesus says: 'Pick up your bed!'  

While God's grace and peoples generosity requires no additional support or reason, one cannot escape one's own responsibility towards oneself. Healing, change, growth are matters - among many others - which require one's own consent and will.  

Move on

 The natural human tendency is to stay put and pitch a tent and get comfortable. No one likes to be constantly changing and moving - not even those with wanderlust! 

However, that is exactly what the Lord recommends us not to settle for.  The transfiguration scene is where the Lord tells us 'move on'. The clue for this same instruction is already in the first reading of the day, where Yahweh tells Abram, leave the place where you right now are and follow me. I've prepared a place for you.  

Interesting to note, Abram gets going.  He has no clue of the place, not even the name of the place.  What's more interesting is that when he gets there, it is already occupied by others!  Yahweh never gave it on a platter to him. 

As one striving to live by faith, the Lord calls each of us, not just to move on, but to 'follow Him'.  Therefore the prayer ought not to be: Be with us us, Lord; rather it should be: Help me stick close to You, Lord. 

For He is ALWAYS with me. 

Grow as we go (Ben Platt)

You say there's so much you don't know You need to go and find yourself You say you'd rather be alone 'Cause you think you won't find it tied to someone else Ooh, who said it's true That the growing only happens on your own? They don't know me and you I don't think you have to leave If to change is what you need You can change right next to me When you're high, I'll take the lows You can ebb and I can flow And we'll take it slow And grow as we go Grow as we go You won't be the only one I am unfinished, I've got so much left to learn I don't know how this river runs But I'd like the company through every twist and turn Ooh, who said it's true That the growing only happens on your own? They don't know me and you You don't ever have to leave If to change is what you need You can change right next to me When you're high, I'll take the lows You can ebb and I can flow And we'll take it slow And grow as we go Grow as we go Grow as we go Grow as we go I don't know who we'll become I can't promise it's not written in the stars But I believe that when it's done We're gonna see that it was better That we grew up together Tell me you don't wanna leave 'Cause if change is what you need You can change right next to me When you're high, I'll take the lows You can ebb and I can flow We'll take it slow And grow as we go Grow as we go Grow as we go Grow as we go

Self-discovery vs Self-awareness

Today I realised there a difference between self-discovery and self-awareness.  Not that I really thought much about self-discovery in comparison to the latter, but I presumed that one is more or less the same.  

As a matter of fact, both self-discovery and self-awareness are related; although not the same. Self-discovery is more as of now, today, here and now; while self-awareness is forward looking, in as much as it is future oriented, not stuck with today. 

Self-discovery has much to do with facts and affects (feelings, emotions, moods); whereas, self-awareness helps one influence choices, relationship and a whole lot of stuff, when one moves beyond the facts and affects.  The latter leads to changes and is transformative; while the former is intellectual.  

Self-discovery answers the question: Why am I who I am? 

Self-awareness responds to: What am I now/later meant to be? 

Tying our own feet...

More than ever, I've come to realise that the more we invest in infrastructure, the more we are tying down our own selves, especially in terms of our apostolate. With our ever increasing craze to build structures, even with already built buildings lying idle or under utilised, we tend to push for newer buildings. 

The skewed logic being: We needed the space, so we built. But over the years, the numbers are constantly dwindling and in quite a few places we hardly have any resident students or boarders. And since the building is there, we feel the need to fill it up with children. Even if the need isn't that or has totally changed.  So the reason for staying behind and doing the same work as before is that there is the building!!  

I'm reminded of an incident in Hollywood which struck me very deeply...Ward Kimball was an animator for the Walt Disney Studios in the 1930’s. He was on the team for the first full-length animated feature by the Disney studio, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937).

He spent 240 days working on a single four-and-a-half-minute scene. In that scene, the dwarfs were cooking a meal for Snow White, and he covered every detail. When the time came, to review the film, Walt Disney personally reviewed the scene and commented: “That scene is hilarious. It’s terrific.” 

Then, he added, “But, I think it interrupts the flow of the movie so we need to cut it out!” 

So off went that scene - 240 days of immense work, scrapped in order to preserve and enhance, the greatness of the film! 

I wish we had that courage and vision of Ward Kimball to be able to see the greater picture and adapt accordingly, however painful it may be. 

I managed to get a clip of the same production... 

Self-deceiving illusion

 Very often we live in a world of our own.  We fail to see our own shortcomings but see others faults very clearly. We speak and act as if what I think and do are the best and the most appropriate means to success.  What others think or do is always messy and insufficient.  

The tragedy is when we consistently do this, and make ourselves believe that this self-image is right. Everything else and everyone else has to change. Not I!  

Blessed are those who can view themselves with the same lens as we see others.  And see others, as we see ourselves! 

The grumpy prophet

 Among the old testament prophets, Jonah is the one with whom one can relate to most easily.  He is a common man, called upon by Yahweh for a particular purpose.  Initially reluctant and lazy but then relents.  However, the very fact that Yahweh calls him does not 'purify' him of his human inclinations.  He carries with him his basic human qualities right to the end. 

After the episode at sea and having spent three days in the belly of the fish, he decides to go to Nineveh and tell the people there God's message, not out of fear or conviction but more out of guilt.  Once his job is done he expects to see the fulfilment of God's prophecy.  Not seeing God send out his wrath, he feels dishonoured and his work disrespected.  He sulks.  His self-centredness (not selfishness) prevents him from seeing the larger picture unfold.  

In and through the ups and downs of Jonah it is easy to miss one of the central messages of the narration: God changes!  The only difference between God changing his mind and heart and Jonah's change is that the change is brought about for the good of the other.  God relents from sending down his wrath on the people of Nineveh because he sees them repent and take responsibility for their lives.  Jonah fails to see the struggle of Nineveh because his focus energy is all trained on his own work and struggle.  

Philomena

I watched the movie Philomena, with Fr Peter this evening.  I had seen it earlier and found it very insightful and deep.  Knew Fr Peter would love it - I was right.  

In this viewing, as in the previous viewing, I again found myself on the side of the journalist - raging, unforgiving and deeply upset.  To really fathom the 'forgiveness' of Philomena and her attitude to what she underwent in the prime of her life, is something very very difficult.  To reach that state of equanimity where you see the past as something you wish didn't happen, but not exactly for the same reasons which you were then told.  

However, this time I understood to some extent the logic of the stubbornness of the former superior of the convent who hid the fact from both, Philomena and her son as well.  Her strong conviction that what she did and the way she did it was the right and the best thing to have done, and that God certainly would approve of it stems perhaps from a deep fear of having to face a past.  If she were to change her opinion and see that what she then did was not something good, would be to negate a whole lifetime - that too while having done and lived it with great fervour and dedication.  That fear of rendering one's whole life's effort - genuine and dedicated - as totally absurd and disgraceful would be too horrible a thing to do to oneself.  Especially at that age and stage of life where one could do nothing more!  When all you have is memories.  But Philomena actually shows that even at that advanced age and time, when unable to do anything more, she could still forgive!  The Sister, on the other hand, couldn't forgive herself!  

God at work

In one of his letters to the Thessalonians, St Paul appeals to them saying that all that he and his companions did was to preach the Good News, purely out of love for God.  They had no hidden personal agenda.  Neither did they seek anything for themselves. To this end, he continues, they offered them 'not only the Good News but our whole lives as well'.

Can a genuine proclamation of the Good News be bifurcated from one's actual living?  It is as if to say, preaching is one thing and our actual life and living, is another.  Personally there cannot be a discrepancy or a divide.  Sincerely proclaiming the Gospel is life - not apart from it. 

However, there could be the case where one very effectively preaches the gospel but is not really moved by it.  The hearers or those who witness this proclamation are moved to change and transformation - but not the one offering the gospel.  This too is possible.  After all, it is not the one speaking or the one listening that solely decides the outcome.  God too is part of the process.  So God, the gospel values and the one undergoing change are at work.  And the preacher?  Yes, the one preaching too is involved, but not as a witness, but as an actor - a good one at that! 

The good Zaccheus

The episode of Jesus meeting Zaccheus is always an interesting read.  Somehow it has a certain simplicity and earthiness about it. Perhaps it has to do with Zaccheus climbing the tree - a joyful, children's play.  

However, contrary to popular belief that since Zaccheus was a tax collector and hence certainly a corrupt official, I think that he was basically a good and honest person, all along. First of all, to believe that all - everyone? - tax collectors were cheats, would be too much of an exaggeration.  Not fair! There certainly would have been some kind-hearted ones - at least a handful in a whole nation! Secondly, for one to immediately have a change of heart, that too so radically is not really possible.  That the confession and repentance was genuine, we know from Jesus' interaction with him.  Jesus would have called his lie, if Zaccheus wasn't speaking from his heart.  So Zaccheus would basically have been a good man, with perhaps some illegal dealings once in a way;  and that dishonesty would have been stirring his conscience over time.  The encounter with Jesus actually is the tipping point.  

And practically speaking, if he were that corrupt, repaying back all those whom he cheated, four times over that too after giving away half his property to the poor, would have made him an utter destitute! He would have had to borrow in order to repay them all!! 

Encountering God

Zechariah when he entered the temple to offer incense-worship meets the angel Gabriel whose message marks the beginning of a totally different lifestyle not only for Zechariah but also for his whole family.  That morning as he entered the sanctuary, I'm sure he certainly did not expect to see the angel or get a vision.  

Most of us stroll through life totally oblivious of the numerous ways and means through which God calls on us.  We are either too busy after something we have set our minds to or are too lazy to hear and ultimately respond.  God constantly interacts with us in the little and big things of life.  The more we are attuned to this, the richer our life will be, constantly transforming and growing into a better image. Just like Zechariah whose life undergoes a major shift on encountering the angel and God's message, so too is our life bound to change when we become attentive to the encounters we have with God!  

Return to Don Bosco

The work of the reformation is not to go back to where our predecessors were, but to persevere on to where they were going. 

We had a couple of General Chapters and other significant reflections around the slogan, 'Return to Don Bosco'. I don't claim to have read them all or understood all of the little that I read! However, I wonder if the above quote found in the introduction to the book of Paul Tillich, The Courage to be (p. xxviii-xxix) would mean something for us too. As Salesians we look up not just to Don Bosco, but to all those Salesians who have lived after him.  As citizens, we may recall to mind all our freedom fighters, leaders, early sages and wise men who made a dent in the passage of time. 

Our predecessors were not backward looking adventurers. They were looking to the future; daring to risk, relying on their present. They wanted to be where we are (hopefully, if we got them right!). If they were mere conformists or simple blokes trying to live the ordinary, we wouldn't be here, least of all have this discussion. They were guided more by faith, or intuition (in non-religious terms), than by pure reason or context. They felt the urge, the itch to do more than what was otherwise universally considered 'enough'. Their aim was to do, to be, better. Looking back to them we draw inspiration from them, seek their courage, place ourselves in their ready-to-journey boots; not merely do what they did, repeat their formulas, study them in isolation from their times, imitate them, …

Respect

You don't throw a whole life away just because it's banged up a little... 

That's one of the punch lines from the movie Seabiscuit

Why respect some great thinker, politician or celebrity if somewhere in his or her speeches or texts he or she has a very "biased" opinion about a certain group of people?  Why respect Kant and Hume, if they strongly felt that the whites were superior to the coloured skin? Why read and appreciate Aristotle if he felt men were superior to women?  Source: Aeon

• Disrespecting the whole person and all his or her writings betrays a profound lack of understanding of how socially we are influenced, even the greatest of minds of any time. 
• Never take one of their personal convictions to be the bedrock of all their thought and philosophy.  
• We are judging them by today's standards and cultural openness - something that they did not have the privilege to in their times.  
• While an individual is ultimately responsible for his own thoughts and actions, one cannot be held solely responsible, if the whole ambiance of his lifetime is flawed or biased.  (Jesus saying, "You don't give the dogs food meant for the children")
• Accepting and admiring the deep thoughts of such men and women, is not affirming their 'racist or sexist' thoughts.  Racism and sexism were never okay, people simply wrongly believed that they were.
• See if their fundamental way of thinking would be negatively prejudiced if applied today. 

Given Aristotle’s openness to evidence and experience, there is no question that today he would need no persuading that women are men’s equals. Hume likewise always deferred to experience, and so would not today be apt to suspect anything derogatory about dark-skinned peoples. In short, we don’t need to look beyond the fundamentals of their philosophy to see what was wrong in how they applied them.

• Excusing them is not the same as excusing someone who's living today with some of those distorted values. We, the living, have the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons; we have history to learn from; we have the possibility of making amends; we may not be the ones who created such notions but are very much in a position to challenge them; we certainly are 'better equipped'... the dead have no such possibility! 

Christian polygamy

The following is an extract from the parish (St Anne's, Chertsey) newsletter for the week, based on the reading of last Sunday's gospel about marriage.  Viewed from this perspective, religious ought to revere married people - not the other way round! 

Marriage is probably the most complex of human relationships and is certainly the one on which civilisation has been founded over the centuries. It is the most natural thing in the world for men and women to leave the safety of the family home and branch out with another partner to restart the whole process of love, companionship and procreation. 

But any married couple will tell you that if a marriage is to be successful then you have to get married to several different people! This is not a plea for divorce but for accepting that people change as they mature and that if a marriage is to be successful then both partners have to adapt to the changes in each other. In a certain sense each one has to keep “remarrying” the same person as he or she changes over the years. A Christian polygamy but with only one wife and one husband! 

The young love of the courting couple is beautiful but unlikely to stand the test of time if one of them thinks that the other is going to behave in the same way when he or she is forty, sixty or eighty. If we refuse to allow each other to develop and grow then we are guilty of trying to “infantilise” the other person. We are trying to freeze them at a moment of time, the wedding day, and prevent them from ever developing and expanding the embryonic gifts and personality that God has given them. 

All of this is just another way of saying that Christian marriage is not simply a state of life but is a sacrament. A wedding takes a day but a marriage takes a lifetime. The love between two Christians is a reflection of the love that God has for each of us and that Christ has for his bride, the Church. Being married means striving at all times to be signs to the world of God’s love through the way we love our partners. And that means “remarrying” them many times before we both grow old

Transposing this reflection to my religious life, I wonder at some of my students who are doing great in their active ministry now, how they have 'grown'.  One was so lazy or laid back, but now is a great pioneer.  Another was so mischievous that I was sure he'd never be entrusted with any serious responsibility; but today is multi-tasking several delicate and demanding portfolios.  So I ask myself, would they have been the same, had they been with me all along?  Would my continued presence with them have enabled them to 'flourish' as they are now actually doing. 

On the other hand, there are those whom I've worked with, or my own batchmates and colleagues.  My present impression about them is still the same one that I had or formed of them when we were students.  They surely have 'grown'; but have I - at least with regard to my view of them? 

Slow burner

Among the numerous things St Francis, whose feast we celebrate today, inspires us the one that caught my attention today is the fact that conversion or any transformation is a slow process.  Often some dramatic event or circumstance is attributed with the change of heart in people.  Not necessarily.  My theory of Saul becoming Paul: that his point of conversion was while he lay in bed helpless and incapable of anything, rather than the initial encounter with Jesus, holds true even in the case of St Francis. 

His radical breakaway from his inheritance and his father was perhaps one of the turning points but not the only one.  I'm sure the whole year he spent in imprisonment after he was captured by Perugia was a time of great introspection and reflection. It is said that spiritual journey is a marathon, not a sprint!  So too, any radical and genuine transformation is a slow burner, not an instant ready-mix. 

British flexibility

After five days of snow and cold weather, Chertsey is today free of all snow.  No more traces of any snow left anywhere as the temperature is more than 4 c and the sun is up too.  Though not many other places of Europe are so lucky as Chertsey, the snow has been an interesting experience for me. 

I've realised that the English, all across the country, are neither happy nor really prepared for any extremes of climate.  Last summer with the temperature touching 30, people were going crazy about the heat!  Pubs and bars were full and overflowing.  People walking around the streets dressed in shorts alone.  Being a country not used to heat, I could understand the 'struggle' of the people.  And now this snow - and a similar story!  Again?  With temperature plummeting below 0 c, and snow covering the road, (even if by a few centimetres), everything was thrown out of gear. Traffic is a chaos. Trains cancelled.  Schools shut down.  Gas prices soaring.  I guess even the climate has to be regimented!!  But since it is not yet, the chaos!  The English certainly could learn a lesson or two in adaptability and flexibility from the rest of the world!  

Every change is 'bad'

Speaking of change and progress, there is always the risk of stepping out of set standards and going beyond accepted norms.  All discoveries and inventions have a streak of 'mistake'.  If Columbus had taken the known route, he'd never have discovered new land.  If the astronomers never dared beyond the visible limits of the sky, they'd never have landed on the moon or explored the outer galaxies. If Jesus were to have been 'faithful' to the Jewish laws as taught in his times, there'd be no Christianity  today.  If Mother Teresa were 'obedient' to the RNDM regulations and practices, there'd never be the Missionaries of Charity today.  While every change may not necessarily be an improvement, every improvement is initially looked with suspicion and normally considered 'not good'.

Burden and strength

The Israelites were slaves under the Egyptians till Moses, under Yahweh's guidance, leads them out of slavery.  The first reading of the day, records God instructing Moses to go to the people of Israel and the Pharaoh to tell them of the end of their slavery in Egypt.

Interestingly the gospel speaks of burden and yoke.  The Lord does not say that He will take away the burden.  Instead He says, "My yoke is easy and my burden light."  There is no talk of taking away the burden or difficulty.  But only the assurance that neither will be too much to bear.

In our moments of difficulty and trial we often pray that the difficulty be taken away, forgetting that a genuine prayer would seek for strength and courage to go through the difficulty.  Even in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed that the cup of suffering be taken away but if it was His Father's will, he was also sure that the Father will give him the necessary grace to endure.