Desire and suffering

 The Buddhist philosophy directly and squarely places the blame of suffering on desire.  It is desire that is the root of all suffering.  Take desire off the equation, all suffering also ends.  

Although it may sound too dire or exaggerated, there is a great sense of wisdom in it.  The Buddhist thought rationally helps one understand this connection between human desire and untold suffering prevalent in the world, especially in one's own personal life. Therefore Buddha's own simple path: detachment.  No desire or attachment towards anything at all - not even detachment itself!  

The greater the plans and ambitions, the greater the toil and the consequent joy (on fulfilling the plan) or suffering (at failing to live out the plan).  And the comedy of human life is such that no matter what the outcome of the plan, we don't give up desiring!!  At the most, we desire something else.  But never do we totally renounce everything!  Perhaps this counter dimension is what Arthur Schopenhauer was driving at. 

These are the most rabid thoughts playing out on my mind, as we enter a week-long string of meetings.  We have mega plans, and I personally am almost certain that we are biting more than what we can chew.  So I'm not pinning my hopes on achieving much, leave along even to convince our confreres of half of what we want them to change or plan for this academic year.  Nonetheless, there is also a sense of calmness within, that what we are doing is truly a selfless animation for the good of the province. And that it is God's work, so he's actually responsible.  If he has other plans, I'd rather be open to his plan rather than stubbornly hold on to what I hold clear and sure. 

Letting go

During our session on Social impact management by Ms Anita Rego, I was struck by one particular point she mentioned early in her presentation. 

She spoke about respecting the life of the beneficiaries whom we reach out to and often make a remarkable contribution in alleviating pain and suffering.  She said that once we make this intervention, at times over years and varied means, and the individual is free of that what stifled his or her growth and life, we must let that life grow by itself.  Just because we have made a difference in the life that individual does not mean that the person has to be indebted to us for the rest of his/her life.  I do not 'own' that person.  He/she is totally free to live his/her life on his/her own terms.  Neither do I have to feel entitled to his/her decisions or plans nor has that individual to feel 'burdened' under our 'charity'. 

MHoC novena (day 6)

Dedicating one's suffering.

Andrew Beltrami, affected by TB, which he contracted while assisting a priest with the same illness, was sick for the rest of his short life.  He dies at a tender age of 27.  But those few years of pain and suffering, he resigned himself to God.  Perhaps that was the reason he was able to write and do much work from his own room. 

That tranquility to accept the present and make the most of what one is blessed with, rather than rue the loss of what was...

Life, death AND resurrection

The most evident facts are the ones most often overlooked!  Yesterday while speaking about the death of Jesus, I stated that Jesus' death alone does not signify anything unique in human history.  Suffering and death has been part of human history long before Jesus and still continues to be so.  There are several human beings who have endured great amount of suffering and even death, for far too long and intense periods than Jesus did.

However, what I totally missed and what's unique in Jesus' case is the resurrection.  So it is not just his death that signifies something unique or great. It is his whole life (beginning with his incarnation, something that happens for the first time) and his resurrection, that makes Jesus extra-special.

More than ever before, I recall today, this Good Friday, all those people who suffer for no crime or fault of theirs.  Yet endure the suffering with a courageous heart, for a purpose far greater than ordinary logical human comprehension.  

Why walk?

One of the questions I have been asking myself regarding the walk I'd done over the last week is whether it was worthwhile to physically feel so much as to jeopardize my participation in the Paschal liturgy meaningfully? 

When at times your legs are so aching that you cannot think of anything else, prayer and divine contemplation is not something that comes easily.  You are not interested in it at all.  All you want to do is get into a comfortable posture and relax.  Prayer and worship go out of the window.

On the other side, I noticed this peculiar phenomenon, not only about myself but about practically everyone in the group.  No matter how much we were tired individually, when there was a need for something to be seen to or done, there were always people ready and willing.  Not grudgingly but with a contagious enthusiasm. 

As for prayer and connecting with the Divine, I realised that feeling of being in pain was a great leveller.  None of us participating in the liturgy or even sitting quietly in the Church or on the pavement were any better or different from one another, and most importantly from the one whom we were trying to think about.  My tiredness and aches in themselves linked me with Jesus.  I was not thinking about Jesus or praying to Him, I was feeling like Him! Even for one attempting to widen the scope of meaning and language (as part of my PhD), to include feelings and desires, this 'realization' did not come easy.  

Sharing sufferings and help

The readings on the feast of St Laurence (the Scripture reading and the Mass readings) have a particular and special stance.  Though clearly hinting at martyrdom and death, they also contain a special combination not often emphasised much: suffering and help. 

Let us give thanks to the God, and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merciful Father, the God from whom all help comes.  He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help those who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.  Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in his great help (2 Cor. 1: 3-5). 

This aspect of sharing in the sufferings of Christ or bearing persecution for being a witness to Christ is spoken of much, but barely anything said about extending the help that we have been blessed with.  Perhaps, it is primarily because most people go about helping others without making a bit fuss about it. 

The life and works of St Laurence surely are a great example and inspiration for being generous in extending God's help to others who are in need of help.  

Pets and death

Here in UK, pets are really taken care of, often better than children!  Thus in one sense, it is better to be born an animal in this part of the world than a human being in some other parts of the world, where life is precarious and has no great value!! 

So it is that when pets reach the end of their life, they are often euthanized rather than left to die naturally.  'More humane' they say!  Rightly so!  More humane, for humans; but for the animal?  Those who argue that pets cannot really understand pain, must also be willing to concede that they do not understand joy and affection and tenderness.  And if they do concede an animal to be capable of the latter, then the former too is as much a reality.  The difference though is that while animals can feel pain, joy and affection and sorrow, they do not make sense of it - at least not in human terms.  The pain and agony that human beings undergo in the face of death is different from that of animals.  Death itself is often not the source of suffering; it is the knowledge and the anxiety that accompanies it that causes pain and suffering.  An animal most often is not anxious about its death (at least not like humans). 

So I guess pets are euthanized mostly not for their sake, but for our (owner's) sake!  It is often for the pain that we feel, when we see our pets suffering, we think that it cannot and need not take any more.  (However, just because animals do not have a sense of death and make meaning out of the suffering, does not mean that they can be culled at will for no genuine reason.  Anyone doing so, is certainly not living up to his or her humanity!)

For peace

A recent article on BBC debates the legitimacy of the air strikes on Syria (Syria air strikes: Were they legal?).  While it does not necessarily justify the Western attack, it does lay bare the loopholes in the whole political system whereby collection action or response is blocked, thereby leading individual states to take action.  This action by individual states, rather than the UN Security council, though "illegal" goes by the same regulations as that laid down by the Security council.  The article certainly shows the actual inefficiency of international bodies, like the UN, when it really matters. 

Even after years of technological advancement and a history replete with wars and destruction, we have still not mastered the art of consensus building.  If at all, the consensus (albeit partial) arrived at, is for destruction and not peace!  Wonder if there is anyone, the common folk, surviving in Syria!  They are bombarded by the regime, the rebels, the Kurds, the Turks, the neighbours, the Russians, the West.  Know not what else is left to be bombed.  God alone knows what information and stories those surviving are fed with - leave alone, food and water!  And after all this, we still expect those surviving to be 'normal'? 

Time and again, our actions prove that national, political, religious, economical factors outweigh humanitarian concern. Wonder what's more precious than human life and dignity? 

Beginning from Jerusalem

Jesus appears to his apostles and assures them that He is not a ghost.  He shares a meal with them and then explains the Scriptures and its fulfillment in him (may not have been the best time to do so, especially after a meal, but given the circumstance, I'm sure they were all awake and perfectly attentive!).  The gospel of the day concludes with these words of Jesus

Thus it is written that the Messiah would suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and that repentance, for the forgiveness of sins, would be preached in his name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things.

Three weeks ago was Easter.  In these three weeks much water has passed under the bridge, especially in world politics.  Syria has just been bombed.  What course of action - or reaction - would follow is awaited.  And that is not the only tension and confusion in the globe.  Practically every part of the world is plagued with unrest and war-like situation.  Even the very place mentioned in the gospel is at the heart of some unrest.  In such a situation, it is ironic to hear that 'repentance, forgiveness of sins' would be preached to all nations, that too beginning from Jerusalem!  Really?

However, hope is always there to assure us of things different.  But hope is not the only thing.  There is the ground-reality of goodness too.  While media, national and international, trains its lenses on the war-games, deaths, scandals, and every sort of evil one knows and at times even of those unheard, there are the untold stories of good deeds being carried out by ordinary folks all over the world.  Perhaps there are too many to be spoken of or broadcasted and that's why the media chooses to ignore them or offer some only by way of closing notes.

And so we live, by hope and trusting in the goodness of humanity...

Prophet vs terrorist

Yesterday's readings wherein Jeremiah begins lamenting his role as a prophet and then concludes stating that he cannot but continue, of his own accord to be so, offers some insights into the role of suffering and pain.  If given a choice to opt out, he would have taken the chance to quit.  But now he says, he is 'addicted' to this challenging role which invariably includes suffering and pain.  However, the notable point is that his main reason to continue being a prophet is that in the long run he is doing good to people and carrying out the will of God.  There is really no personal thrill involved - hardly any!

May appear very brave and sacred.  But that is the same motivation for the terrorists who spread fear and violence, most often in the name of religion.  What then distinguishes Jeremiah from this group of people?  The one striking difference that I can think of is one related to life and death.  Jeremiah sought to carry out God's will by improving the quality of life.  If at all anyone has to suffer, Jeremiah is willing to take on that role, rather than pass it on to others.  God and people were both important and alive at the end of it all.  In the case of extremists, God's command is all that matters.  Human life has absolutely no relevance; not mine not others.  

Burden and strength

The Israelites were slaves under the Egyptians till Moses, under Yahweh's guidance, leads them out of slavery.  The first reading of the day, records God instructing Moses to go to the people of Israel and the Pharaoh to tell them of the end of their slavery in Egypt.

Interestingly the gospel speaks of burden and yoke.  The Lord does not say that He will take away the burden.  Instead He says, "My yoke is easy and my burden light."  There is no talk of taking away the burden or difficulty.  But only the assurance that neither will be too much to bear.

In our moments of difficulty and trial we often pray that the difficulty be taken away, forgetting that a genuine prayer would seek for strength and courage to go through the difficulty.  Even in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed that the cup of suffering be taken away but if it was His Father's will, he was also sure that the Father will give him the necessary grace to endure.

Rorty, sentiments and human rights

Richard Rorty, speaking of human rights, believed that reason was not an effective means of communication in a human rights discourse. Anti-foundationalist that he was he did not believe in human rights being founded on some moral or eternal principle, which everyone ought to recognize and admit.  He rather preferred to speak of a 'human rights culture' something that we socially have agreed to.  And the best means of building this culture? Through sentimental education, not rational argumentation.

I see a very valid point in what Rorty is trying to build.  The sentimental appeal is much stronger than any rational argument. We are affected more by our sentiments than our logic and rationale. The idea is to make people see that others are not "like us", but "us".  However, there seems to be a sort of drawback lurking just round the corner in this argument.  Am not really able to pinpoint it, but I can feel it.

• Is it that convincing someone of human rights using emotions is more of a blackmail than a real conviction? 
• Would I be using the suffering of others as a 'lesson' plan? If no suffering or pain with which I can appeal to the sentiment of others, do I not have a valid means of conveying the worth of human rights? 
• Seems more like claim-rights... only when 'we' agree to something.  What if 'we' agree to what is convenient for us?  Slavery and dowry was very convenient once upon a time.  Even to those who were burdened by it, because it was a 'socially accepted norm'. 
• What of those who 'understand' the language of reason?  Learned men and women who know what is being said and discussed?  
• Can international and national policies ride on the strength of emotions and feelings? 

Punishment

The last day of lecture, on Thursday, witnessed a very one-sided debate on punishment and justice.  In the class we were just four of us students and the lecturer.  Everyone, except me, was for retributive justice by which they were discussing ways and means of prolonging the intensity of punishment in cases of gruesome criminal acts.  At the same time they were also trying to steer clear of not getting embroiled in human right issues.  So there was the discussion on prolonging life of criminals so that they serve longer prison terms (rather than be quickly bumped off) by means of technology.

I did my best in supporting restorative methods, by which I stated that the aim of punishment is not just to 'balance' the harm done!  Doing so would be the same as the crime already committed, but now legally sanctioned!  Therefore I suggested that there must be something that even the worst of criminals are good at.  Get them to do that for the good of the society.  This way, they get a chance (or are even forced to) make reparation for the harm done and the society too benefits.  However the harm done cannot be undone.  But the objection the class raised to this was that I was treating the person as a means to an end - ethically not justified!

After a long winding discussion which basically centred on how to intensify pain and suffering to balance the harm done, the professor stated that we need to first ask basic questions before we come to some decisions.  She said, which I firmly reiterated, that the question of what punishment is for needs to be clarified.  Unless such basic questions are clearly answered, our final decisions will always be lacking, even if they seem right.  

Homeless

Only now do I really understand why the issue of homelessness is a big problem in the West.  While in India, it really did not occur to me. Living here, in the UK, especially this winter season, I realize how necessary it is to have a place to stay.  Not just stay but have some heating measures inside the house.  At times the temperature is freezing outside.  Often there is such an amount of fog and frost that while on the road one can hardly see any further than few feet.  In the mornings there is such a thick and hard, really hard coat of ice on the vehicles. It is highly unlikely that one will survive in such a cold, leave alone for a night, just a few hours is enough to freeze anything!

Fortunately I haven't see anyone so desperately off here in Chertsey, but I remember seeing a few people on the road while I was in Battersea (London city). They have some warm clothing but that's it.

No wonder, when people say, never belittle someone's woes without really knowing their context.  

Big vs the Small

In contrast to my recent visit to Osmania hospital, today I had the opportunity to enter in Care Hospital at Nampally.  Of course, being a posh hospital of the corporate structure, the system in place was well organised, neat and smooth.  So was the price!

As I was waiting for the doctor to meet and speak about the patient whom I was there for, I was watching the many people coming in, going out, working and some walking around.  Except among the staff, all the rest of those there were strangers to one another.  However, there was the look of agony on all their faces - I'm not talking of the patients.  One might say, what else do you expect at a hospital. Well, the expression was not just of physical pain or anguish, but a weird sense of being alone in a large lonely world, a look of being lost in thought of know not what.  But a gentle smile, a kind helping hand, even if it was just to help push a stretcher or lift a garbage bin, the whole face brightens up.

We often think and pursue large and lofty goals and dreams, in the hope that we'd be happy if we get what we are after. We forget that more than those big and lofty goals it is simple acts of kindness and help that bring greater and effective cheer in our lives.  It is these small tender and unexpected deeds that grease the larger machinery of life, that keep life going.

Grateful

I'm grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I'm grateful for the pain...
...
... learned a lesson, learned a lesson

Came across this particular song by Rita Ora titled 'Grateful' (it is one of the songs in the movie, Beyond the lights). Of course, did not vibe with the pain part of the song but some of the lyrics were quite touching.

Ultimately is all all about a perspective and attitude. It is very enriching and elevating to learn to bounce back than wallow in self-pity or pain!

Contradiction, Glory and Light

The Gospel reading of the Presentation of the Lord in the temple, speaks of Jesus being the '...light to the world, ... glory of Israel and the sign of contradiction...'.  However we fail to notice that this prophecy of Simeon is fulfilled in the reverse order.  Jesus first proved to be a sign of contradiction - that too a very dangerous one!  Then he was the glory of Isreal, before his name and fame spread throughout the world.  He is thus today the light of the world.

Unfortunately most Christians strive for the first, don't bother about the second and never even mention the last, ... the one about being a sign of contradiction.  Most religious often make the best effort to merely be a sign of confirmation, certainly not a sign of contradiction to anything not belonging to the Kingdom.   

Cross vs the One on the Cross

Yesterday was the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. Most people in their search for meaning and purpose get stuck to the dead wood of the Cross and fail to reach or approach the living One capable of making sense to everything.

The cross was only the means, neither the purpose or the end of Christ's coming into the world.  This feast is a reminder or a challenge to each of us to be able to distinguish between means and purpose... not mix up the whole for the part  or the part for the whole.

Later last evening Prathap shared a very significant fact with us: that Hezekiah destroyed the bronze serpent made by Moses during the Israelites journey through the desert and which was the cause of survival of so many who were bitten by the poisonous snakes.  Reason:  They forgot Yahweh and his temple and word and thought the bronze serpent was the real power!!

The modern world subtly puts the cross vs the One hanging on the Cross and we ought to prefer the One on the cross and not the cross alone!!

Sanitized Religion

Since Lent began this year, we had the Way of the Cross in a short but 'hitting' manner with points for reflection written by the Brothers themselves.  There are no niceties or pietistic frills - just the journey in its raw form coupled with a personalized reflection for each station.  My attempt was to get our attention on to Jesus and walk along with him along the dry, dusty, and rough road rather than engage ourselves in some emotional sympathy drama, a sort of pity for 'someone' being persecuted and killed while I remain a sympathizing observer from the VIP box.

Morever I wanted the Brothers to exercise their creativity and explore ways of making prayer more alive and personal. Being a para-liturgical service, the Way of the Cross provides a good platform for improvisation without the hassles of the code of canon!

Very many of the Brothers find this whole process relevant and meaningful.  However there are few who 'do not feel the holiness'! Reason: Neither transitional hymns, nor ready-made printed prayers before, during and after the journey.  And of course, the whole practice winds up within 35 mins. This group prefers to have the service for more than an hour but inside the Chapel, (that means, the fans will be on, there will be the carpet under our feet, lesser mosquitoes, and kneeling/genuflecting will not too difficult a task!).

Imagine the irony: The way of the cross in the comforts of our Chapel!  That's like sanitizing something so mundane that it looses its very earthy-feel, and yet claiming to experience the original! 

Conversion

Conversion of Saul
Saul's real conversion takes place not on the road to Damascus, but during the long agonizing wait for Ananias. It is in those moments of agony, uncertainty, loneliness and desperation, that Saul turns his heart to Jesus. That 'on the road' experience was merely a trigger. Most of us are trigger-happy people. However we lack the patience and the courage to go through the 'dark nights' to deepen our resolutions and faith.