School days - or holidays - with Fr James

 Fr James has been hanging on to his dear life for almost a week now. His mind is still active, but communication is totally incoherent. So we don't know what exactly is he going through.  

This evening as I was trying to recollect some memories of him, as my headmaster, I barely could remember any.  Very vague images of him walking around the campus and corridors in cassock, him standing and addressing the school assembly on the 'new' stage, him taking social studies for us in class X (his topics were more about his trips and experiences than social!).  But something very clear is his joining us for games during holidays.  

Every summer some of us would be in the school ground morning and evening.  Fr James would join us in the evenings.  If by chance he was gardening then we'd also end up gardening - not because we wanted it, but he got us to do it!! But he would join us for games.  However it struck me, in all those months and years we played, every summer and holiday time, we always played cricket!  There is only twice or thrice in a whole lifetime that I would have played basketball.  And I remember him playing with us (along with Rajiv, the electrician and some brothers).  And then, perhaps a dozen times we would have played football.  Even those football games I remember him, making clever passes, without running much or dodging!  He also played some odd games we played. Like the one with sticks and stones - he still remembers that very fondly!  Then some game with the small rubber ball alone - which Fr Benji never understood! But for the rest (perhaps 98% of the time) we played cricket!  And all that while, not once, do I remember him complaining or trying to coax us to play basketball - which was his favourite. Nor did he belittle our games and playing style. He would correct us if we did a mistake. We also turned to him for final decisions on disputed matters, even though he belonged to one of the teams as a player.  But never did he utter a word moaning or grumbling about anything.  He truly was with us, enjoying the game - even when it was never his favourite games.  

Building on the existing good

The Parish celebrated the feast of Don Bosco today. During the Mass the parish priest spoke of the life of Don Bosco. When he spoke of Don Bosco first meeting with Barthalomeo Garelli, it struck me that Don Bosco started with what was good in the boys.  The only thing Garelli could do was whistle - Don Bosco is happy with that for the first meeting!  He slowly builds on that rather than straight away infuse in them some of those virtues or qualities that he thinks they ought to have.  The starting point is not the intention of the educator or the formator but the existing good or virtue in the beneficiary.

Seeing this from my perspective as a formator, I was wondering how justified am I in demanding a level of intellectual calibre in the formees.  Whatever and however great and noble my intentions and motivations, if I do not start from what the students are already good at, then I will be riding against the tide all the time.  The student will see himself facing an insurmountable task without seeing the qualities he already has as an investment.  Now that's a challenge for the formator, especially if the number is large and the pupil of diverse backgrounds.  To understand each individual, find out his or her strength and then help them use them as a launching pad, is indeed a tall order.  But if I have a personal rapport with each of them, then helping them in their intellectual struggle will be easy.  On the other hand, judging them on the basis of their intellectual standard alone will be my short coming as a formator.  

Mission and work

One of the things that Fr Ivo, during the meeting in Rome, repeated more than a couple of times was the distinction between mission and work.  He categorically denied that both are the same.  He would say that our mission is not to be equated to work or the activities that we carry out in our communities as individuals or as a group.

Our mission is to be signs and bearers of God's love. What we do, through our activities is give expression to this.  But to say that our activities is the mission is being naive.  Hence even a confrere who is aged or ailing, can still be actively engaged in the mission of being a sign and bearer of God's love, wherever or however bad a physical situation he may be in.

I found this distinction interesting and insightful.  Coming from a background where ceaseless activities characterises any given day and presently in a context where am not engaged in such a 'torrential' active work, it makes sense to discover what it means to be a consecrated person with a mission. To be patient and consistent with the discovery of who one is rather than a frenzied round of activity, and always joyful and never giving in to discouragement mode, is perhaps one of the characteristic of religious life. 

Accompaniment

Reflection for April 19

The 'Emmaus account' has a typically Salesian flavour. It is basically an excellent summary of genuine accompaniment. To be like the risen Lord who walks along with the disciples. Lovingly and patiently accompanying those entrusted to one's care, listening and responding to them in ways and idioms that they understand. At the same time always challenging them to go deeper. Spiritually it is a pilgrimage of which the centre and focal point is the encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, experienced not merely at the altar but on the dusty path, in the open. It is also an experience that becomes the springboard and launching pad for ministry even when it means hitting the road in the dark of the night, for the light is within.

Remembering the deceased

Today, the 1st of February, immediately after the day we celebrate the feast of Don Bosco, we Salesians commemorate the memory of our deceased confreres.  We remember with gratitude and pray for those gone before us who, in their lifetime, added to the charism of Don Bosco and made the Salesian work more dynamic, meaningful and contextual.

And in the morning the first names that I remembered were that of Fr John Lens, Fr Ronald Menezes and surprisingly, Fr Mauro Casarotti.  Fr Lens is someone whom I knew since my childhood.  He was in the school where I studied, then when I was an aspirant, he was my rector and then all the subsequent years, while he was in the novitiate, I kept in touch with him.  Initially through letters and then in person.  Never knew anyone as down-to-earth as him.  His joyful and perfect detachment from all material things was amazing... made it look so simple.  Also liked his simple way of interacting with anyone, just anyone!

Fr Ronny, was my rector during my one year stay at Don Bosco School, Matunga.  I was a studying media and communications and he was of great help and inspiration.  I liked him for his straight-forward attitude and simplicity of life.  He also had a good way of relating to people and making everyone feel comfortable and good about themselves.

Fr Casa, was someone I first met while studying M.Ph. in Nashik. He used to come from Mumbai and spend a few days with us, helping out as the confessor.  Around him it was all fun and laughter.  He was the heart of any gathering and corridor talk.  In spite of the fact that in the early days he was provincial of two diverse provinces (Mumbai and Guwahati), he carried himself with such simplicity that a casual interaction would mislead one to think of him as a simple 'old man'. Later too while at Matunga, I would meet him often, and he was the same. Still at that ripe old age, he would be consistent with his work in the propaganda office.  Always kind, gentle, smiling and friendly.  He loved people.  One always felt comfortable being oneself with him. He had no pretensions and neither did anyone feel like putting on a mask in his presence. 

Cell phone thrill

Fr Joshtrom had long time back narrated an incident of Rome in one of our Salesian houses. It was still the time when young clerics or practical trainees were not permitted to have cell phones for personal use. However, one cleric was might thrilled when his own rector gave him.  Every now and then the rector would call up the Brother to enquire if things were all fine and that he was at home in the new place.  Slowly as days went by the Brother realized, the cell phone was not so much for him, but more for the Rector to keep tab on where the Brother was!

Participatory Action Research

The three days of training programme in Participatory Action Research (PAR) at Ramanthapur were enriching days.  I am happy I chose to be part of the same.  (More about it, read here).

Personally, I learnt most...

• That participation, includes the “last” in the group too! 
• I also got to know the names and some thing about the lives and works of people working with the YaR centres, some for decades of years! 
• Perhaps this method is more needed in a formation setting than a YaR setting. The rationale is that if Brothers see this in action and are involved in this exercise, they would automatically live it out in their own places of apostolate, wherever they are. Then we would not need to train the YaR sector, every sector would slowly but surely adopt this strategy.  (However, this entails that PAR be understood as a strategy, rather than another course to be completed!)
• Better we start to learn and enjoy working with lay people before it is too late and say, “We should have better prepared them, earlier.”
  

Guardian Angel

Thinking of the guardian angel, this afternoon, I was thinking, it surely has its hands full. Not that we are reckless but that it has to take care of us even without our knowing it.  And if by chance, we do not follow its directions, it still has to bear up with us. Go the wrong way, not because it wants to go, or because it has failed to warn me, but because I am on the wrong path!!  Much to learn of Salesian assistance from the guardian angel.

Attitude towards work ... being at home

By nature, most people I've encountered during my work in Andhra, are not industrious... certainly not most of the youngsters.  Some work hard, but only under constant supervision. Left to themselves, they're either drunk or asleep or both! Very many are specialists in dodging work.  They know where exactly not to be and if by chance they are caught up at a place where there is work to be done, they have skills to disappear within seconds.  The most favourite 'work' is 'khali ga undadam' (that's 'being idle', in Telugu!).  There are some who do work but take ages to complete something that could very well have been completed in an hour or so.  But all the while they are 'working'.

I closely and very clearly noticed the difference in attitude towards work, in general, during the past one week.  What makes the difference is when one perceives the work at hand, as mine.  The house where I live, as my home.  When I am at home, I give my best, my heart and soul, my flesh and blood, my time and energy, the best and last!

Another fact that was reiterated was the practical working alongside with the staff or boys.  It does make a huge difference.  When some of the boys and others asked me why I was so passionate about doing things all the while, I could only tell them that I consider this, where I am now, as my home... and I'd like to make it the best place I am capable of envisioning.  

Vocation as my choice

Don Bosco was not the Rector of a formation house... he was a 'father' to a group of young boys who had none. He was the head of an oratory. In this context the confidence that boys had on him made a big difference. The boys felt comfortable and free to open up, pour out their hearts and souls to Don Bosco because they had nothing to lose – they knew well, they stand to gain!

As with regards to our discussion, we claim to be formators, perhaps Rectors of formation houses. The boys in our care are candidates for our Salesian way of life. The matter of confidence is applicable here too. However, what acts as a hindrance, affecting also the confidence factor, is the matter of choice. In very many instances, the candidates with us have already 'decided' – the process of discernment is often skipped – that they are to become Priests, continue being Salesians. So in this context, the decision is already made. And the Rector (or the formation staff) is seen as a threat to this 'survival' because he/they can terminate my decision. The lifeline of this decision is therefore in the hands of the Rector. 

That brings me exactly to the heart of my concern: Whose vocation? Whose choice?

If the vocation is mine and so is the choice! It is basically my choice to respond to what God wants of me. In such a context, the Rector (and other formation guides) will be seen as facilitators or persons who help me grow in this response, in every way possible – certainly not as threats!

Personal Charisma

Fr Teresio Bosco, writing the book on Don Bosco, by the same title, makes an interesting comment somewhere in the middle of his book (p. 140 to be exact).  While referring to the times of the wandering oratory and Don Bosco's struggle to find a place where he could meet and animate the hundreds of boys who would flock to him on Sundays and feastdays, he says:

The centre of the Oratory was not the institution of the parish church, but the person of Don Bosco with his continuing, stimulating presence. The rapport was personal, not institutional. 

This statement speaks a lot about the true reason for the boys presence.

I know not if he would - or we could - say the same once Don Bosco got his own place or established his institution(s) at Valdocco and later, all over the world.  'Returning to Don Bosco' would also mean this: regaining the charisma of the person and not the institution!

Formator: Ever a learner

I came across one beautiful testament of living a formative experience as a formator on Fr Ivo's blog, Musings.  The whole text is here.

One of the first things that caught my attention in that simple and personal sharing of insights was the following statement

One becomes capable of accompanying others only when one has oneself begun a serious process of personal accompaniment that should extend over a lifetime.  

I'm at a juncture where I'm still gather my bearings in a formation set up.  The fact that one has been in a formation set up for most of ones life, does not automatically mean that one is ready to deal with contemporary situations. Much matters on how one perceives the situation and what line of action one chooses to follow in the given context. There are no ready-made text books or instructions.  One needs to be prudent.  One needs to be constantly learning and growing.  I guess that's the basic premise of being a formator... the openness to be a learner, ever!  

The Emmaus lessons

I reproduce below the words of one Salesian whom I trust and revere very much... his message for me as I take up my next task of accompanying the Brothers at Karunapuram as Dean of Studies:

Be like the Risen Lord who walked along with the disciples on the way to Emmaus... lovingly and patiently accompanying those entrusted to your care... listening and responding to them in ways and idioms that they understand... at the same time always challenging them to go deeper... a pilgrimage of which the centre and focal point is the encounter with the Eucharistic Lord experienced around the table of fraternal fellowship... a profound experience which beckons them to the Beyond and radically transforms them ... an experience which becomes the springboard and launching pad for ministry even when it means hitting the road even in the dark of the night, but guided by the light of the Living Word within...

Love for the young

With no real support from the 'qualified' analysts, I had to chip in with my rustic interpretation and analysis of the survey results that I had accumulated.  So with the tables at hand prepared by the ones responsible (at least that was done!), I fired off my prejudices, hypothesis, predictions, views and what not.  It was like this: I would state my idea or impression and then display a set of slides containing the results of the individual answers.  The ideal would have been a cross-tabulated analysis but in the absence of which, the single slides/question-answer result, presented in a logical fashion drove home the point. Here's one example:

I pointed out that to the question as to whether we love the youth of our place for their welfare, 84% responded positively.  I could see them all smiling and happy about it. I then pulled out the next slide: I read something daily besides the Bible and the Constitutions.  The answer was 63%.  The next slide was about me regularly updating myself in my field of apostolate. The highest percentage was 52%.  The next slide was about plan for myself (for my life and for this year), the answer was 51% affirmative.  Therefore my conclusive statement: Is the answer to the first statement, namely that I genuinely love the youth of my place for their welfare, authentic or valid?

At once, someone got up and asked, what is the connection between me loving the youth of my place and my updating myself?  Someone else too had a similar objection about another statement and the first one. Before I could show the connection there were several hands up, with eyes all lit up, having seen the connection, wanting to respond.  For me the connection was all too evident. If I genuinely love my people, I will offer them the best of myself and my services.  And how will I offer the best of myself, if I hardly have a plan for myself and my activities, or constantly seek creative and efficient means to pass on the knowledge and skill I have to those entrusted to my care, or am waiting for a formal official time and place set apart (preferably abroad) by my Provincial for updating myself? 

The shark within

Fr Maliekal, in one of his inaugural goodnight talks, spoke to us of the need to be brisk and alive in everything that we do.  He shared with us an analogy he read from the book of R. Gopalkrishnan (The Case of the Bonsai Manager: Lessons from Nature on Growing).

Japanese love sushi and at one point of time, realised that the fish tasted different.  It was then felt that the duration it takes to reach the table from the time it is caught in the sea was the cause. So the fishermen tried to keep it fresh and alive in water tanks. That did not solve the taste issue. Some tried fresh water instead of sea water.  That didn't help either.  Then someone tried a novel method.  They introduced a shark into the water tank transporting the live sushi to the mainland.  The sushi had to be alert and constantly on the move since it did wish to become shark food. This method solved the taste issue.  The taste of an active sushi was noticed by discerning customers in mainland immediately.

Good lesson to begin the academic year with: Be alive and active (not because the shark is behind you but within you!)

Happy with the apparent!

Most of my seminarians believe and are firmly convinced that as priests, when encountered with some difficulty brought forth to their kind consideration, all they have to do is this: dole out some advice (say something) with two to three Biblical verses (with reference as icing).  That done, the problem is solved and everyone is happy!

However, my guys fail to see the indepth values and the subsequent demands this ministry makes on us.  They need to realise that a mere blah-blah with a verse added as decoration and delivered with a dramatic flair and all of it enveloped in some bullshit 'advice', cannot be an adequate response.  It is people we are dealing with and not some dolls or even children who can be temporarily helped to get over their troubles with a fairytale and a candy.  They are people who need to be strengthened, to be helped to stand and fight their own battles;  they are people with flesh and blood and a whole lot of power hidden.  Unless we assist people REALLY (and even receive their help, when in need), we have no right to bluff them!  We cannot make Karl Marx's idea of religion as opium, come right, while all the time denying it.  

I myself

Fr Maliekal offered a very rich insight today during his sermon on the feast of Don Bosco.  Citing the text from the book of Ezekiel where Yahweh assures the people saying, "I myself will...," Fr Maliekal spoke about the Salesian pedagogy of assistance.  It is not remote controlled but physical and involved. It is "I myself" who am involved; 'I myself' who is there full time with those entrusted to my care.  It is 'I myself' who takes responsibility for their growth and well being in every aspect of life.

From one perspective it may sound a bit egoistic but viewing it from a wider and committed angle, it is really very inspiring.  Our God Himself makes this promise to be with His people...  "I myself."

Don Bosco's idea of presence

More than ever, I've learnt the most memorable lesson in Salesian assistance this year... and the paradox of it is that I've learnt it through my own absence!  Don Bosco, in that sense, was a true formator.  He knew what would be some of the most essential elements involved in educating a youngster to values and higher things of life.  Thus he qualified, presence of the formator (educator), amidst the students and that too a very loving and concerned one, as one of the most essential ingredients of a healthy formation ambiance.

While physical absence or prolonged disappearance from the community is of no evident help, mere physical presence with no sense of the ground reality is of no use either.  Add to that several other little but important things like 'a word in the ear', reason (as one of the triple elements of the Preventive system), teaching by example, consistency in expectations from the pupils... and formation becomes truly an enriching experience for all involved.  

Sign of things to come??

The other night I had a dream: I found myself being challenged by a young Salesian (perhaps a formee) about respecting his decision to not live life seriously or something about the right to live as he thinks best. I dreamt that I responded (surprisingly staying calm), "Think and speak for yourself, others and everyone concerned, something that is worthwhile now and relevant for later too ... then I'll value your words, respect your thoughts and consider you as a sincere religious. But if your whole world of thought, word and deed begins and ends with you, then I have no hesitation whatsoever to say that you're in the wrong place."

Sign of things to come??

I am Sam

This afternoon I watched the movie, I am Sam. I found it very touching, splendid performance by Sean Penn as a mentally challenged father, greatly in love with his small daughter and fighting for her custody. Moving reflections and images of what parenting and family is all about. It is very disturbing to see yourself torn between the love of father and the concern for the future of the child. But as they always say, love triumphs!

What I like best in the movie was the way Sam is able to touch the lives of others, Rita (his lawyer), his four friends, Annie (his next door neighbour), Randy (the lady who wishes to adopt his daughter, Lucy) and above all else, Lucy (his daughter). It tells me that we 'normal' people often think we got it all sorted out. That we know best! But here is someone who is not so. In his 'deficiency' Sam is gifted with a special grace. He sees the inner and deeper need to love and be loved. His values and ideas are simple and truthful. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, nothing to withhold.

Much to learn from children and those differently-abled.