Hospital ministry!

 Yesterday I was in the hospital, not for myself but to assist someone.  Not that I made any special effort or anything to assist the person, but I merely behaved and treated the other as if she was perfectly fine.  

Just the usual chat. Normal everyday topics. Nothing to remind her about the ongoing treatment that necessitated her presence in the hospital the whole day.  

I think the best part was to listen to the other. Just plain listening. Not that I was expected to give any grand remedies or responses, but a simple outpouring - non-judgemental and confidential. 

In short, another day of ministry! 

Ronald Menezes SDB

 Today is the death anniversary of Fr Ronald Menezes, a Salesian Priest from Mumbai.  I was in the same community as he in the year 2003 at Matunga.  I was a student then, studying outside the community or the Salesian educational institutions.  

I remember him for his gentle ways of keeping all of us in the community together.  He was a hard worker and expected everyone also to contribute their mite in keeping the works going on smoothly. One of his most striking features was his enthusiasm. He was always optimistic and enthused about life.  That was really contagious.  Be it among the confreres, the school teachers, people who came to the Shrine, or even the boys in the campus. 

He was always present in his rectors office which was in the school building.  Every school day morning, he would be at the entrance of the primary section greeting children and parents - always in his cassock.  He was such a familiar figure among the tiny tots that one day one of them walked up to him and said, 'Your mummy is at the gate!' Ronnie was shocked.  (His parents were long deceased). Looking at his face the boy realised that he didn't believe him. So the little one took Ronnie's hand and dragged him to the entrance.  And whom does Ronnie see there?  A nun, in a habit!  The little one had linked the 'matching clothes' and figured out that the one in the habit would be the mother of the one in a cassock!

I most appreciated his love and care of the boarders.  We then had nearly 60 boys with us in the Matunga boarding.  And he knew each of the boys, their family background and their strengths and weaknesses.  It was he who warmly exhorted us, three Brothers, to visit the homes of the boys during the holidays.  We went grudgingly.  But that one visit to the homes of the boys, made a big difference for our relationship with the boys.  When the boys returned to the boarding, most of them had a totally different outlook towards us.  They saw us Brothers as friends and relatives, who knew their families, their homes, their real living condition.  They didn't have to put on masks because we knew their real condition, and didn't treat them any different or less because of that.  

Ronnie was also very good in relating to people and roping them in to assist in the various works of the boarding or school.  He was keen that we three Brothers meet him every month.  And he was keen that we keep him abreast of our reading material and progress.  I think that was because he himself was an avid reader.  It was evident from his sermons and reflections.  

Anyway, I was blessed to have him as the Rector of the community when I was in Matunga.  And today, I thank God for him, in a special way.  

Pastoral service!

 Yesterday a youngster wanting to make his confession was directed to my office by one of our staff members (who did not know what exactly he was asking for!).  I was more than neck-deep in some urgent and complicated stuff, juggling more than a couple of them delicately.  Nonetheless, I tried to locate a Priest to hear his confession. That's when he said he wanted to confess in Malayalam.  So the search was narrowed down still further.  Unfortunately no one was immediately available and I asked the young man if he could come a little while later - more than for him, I was making time for myself. To my surprise, he returned exactly at the specified time. 

This time I walked up, with the young man in tow, to the neighbouring community in search of a priest.  I didn't find any - at least none who could speak Malayalam. So I again asked him for some more time.  I got back to my office.  And again, at the agreed time, there appears the young man at my door.  Looking at the fervour of this youngster, this time I was more than eager to assist.  

Ultimately I approached Fr AR Jose. He was in bed, unable to get up, due to his illness and was merely covered in a bedsheet.  Initially he wanted to get into his wheel chair but I thought that would be asking too much of him. So I convinced him to stay in bed, got him a stole and led the young man to his bedside. And returned to my office! 

My greatest joy in this whole episode was to be able to facilitate the reception of the sacrament for a young man so greatly desirous of it.  Greater joy was when the young man, after making his confession, joyfully came looking for me to thank me.  This act of mine may not be counted as a sacramental service, but is certainly pastoral!  And who says, Brothers cannot do pastoral work!! 

Means and ends

 The Gospel of the day was another stark reminder of a similar, if not the same, principle of belonging and opting for Christ. Perhaps somewhere down the line, and this sequence of events is natural, we as a congregation (for that matter any organisation) have shifted our focus from empowering the young to safeguarding our institutions. Now, this is quite natural outcome of the growth of any initiative: the wider and bigger a movement grows, structures, rules, regulations and procedures come into play. And eventually, there comes a time when these start to take an upper hand or even override the charism of the initiative. This tussle is healthy – as long as we are open to discerning the Spirit and the times. 

 Between the young and our institutions, the one criterion we need to always bear in mind is that our institutions and structures are FOR the young. If and when, the institutions become an end in themselves and stop being a means of reaching out to the young, then we’ve strayed far from Don Bosco’s charism. Delving a bit deeper, if and when we as individuals (Salesians) become and behave as the end, when all our plans and thoughts and efforts are all geared towards our own selves (comfort, ease, success, positions, name, fame…) then we have not just strayed from the charism, we have sinned!

Youth group

How do I offer the young a cause to work for? 

But, do I actually have to? Because they are more attuned to the reality of the world than I. 

Perhaps it is more of learning from them. More of accompanying them. Standing by their side. At the most, offering them guidance (based on my experience and age), some direction, at times perhaps boost their morale, helping them stay focused... 

The first question stems from our insistence in the province, on forming youth groups... which I feel, in itself is good, but useless. The formation of the group is useless if not accompanied or preceded by the question: Why form the group? What for? And if it is a group activity, all the members of the group will naturally vibe with that ‘why’, unless imposed by someone outside.

Salesian Youth Movement (SYM)

Salesian Youth Movement (SYM) is an apt name. And I think we Salesians should not lose sight of the meaning of this very name... a movement. Not an event, a mere celebration or an achievement. But a movement. A process. 

The greatest challenge we face is to regularly ask ourselves (and subsequently, the youth) as to what is the PURPOSE of this movement. Without a clarity and consensus about this purpose and goal, our youth groups, fests, gatherings and other such events are scattered mount Tabor experiences – leading to a good and nice feeling at the moment, but of no real use in the long run. 

The greatest risk is that we make our youth dumb and superficial. By nature, the youth are a dynamite; but if they are not challenged well beyond their capacity, they become hollow and settle for the least of standards and capacities.

Vocation

Everytime we speak of 'vocation' in our religious circles we most often mean 'vocation to priestly and religious life'.  It is as if vocation to married life or any other form of life is not a vocation.  When this partial outlook is pointed out we cover up saying that even they are vocations, but the former is the crowing of all vocations! 

However, I feel strongly convinced that unless and until we really understanding vocation in its universal and true sense, we will only be 'selling' vocation; doing recruitment rather than discernment.  As educators of the young, we are primarily called to help young people discover, discern and follow their vocation.  And every person's primary vocation is to love and be loved!  The vocational discernment is to help young people ask themselves basic questions about meaning and purpose of his or her life.  As long as we sincerely and passionately engage in this noble apostolate we are true to our own calling as Salesians. Otherwise we are only 'pedlars' or vendors of the Salesian career - all in the name of youth ministry and vocation promotion.  

The post youth synod apostolic exhortation by Pope Francis, Christus vivit no. 286 describes the great vocational question that every young person has to ask himself or herself as "for whom am I?"  This is more deeper and way too personal than merely asking oneself, "what am I to do?" or "who should I become?"

Young people; not youth

Reality is more important than ideas.  Unless one acknowledges this truth, we will only be living in a dreamland and never be able to make a meaningful impact on life itself.  

The simple fact, especially for us Salesians, is the notion of youth ministry.  However, youth is an abstract notion.  In reality there is no youth.  There are only young people.  And unless and until we interact with those young people, in person, in the concrete situations of our life (and their lives), our youth ministry would be excellent only paper but not in reality.  Our starting point has to be the young people immersed in their context. Starting with the abstract notion of youth will only lead us astray.  

Together with this fundamental truth, it is also equally important that we begin with the premise that we are going to encounter God in the young people, not get them back to God.  We do not have monopoly over God.  He is already present with the young in their situatedness. We only need to be open and available to Him, in and through the young - rather than approach the young as if we are the one's offering God to them! 

Reflecting on the the Youth Synod

Reflecting together with Fr Romano Sala from the UPS in Rome, about the Youth synod and its ripples in the Church and for our own Salesian youth ministry, as part of the study day in the Province, I was inspired by many insights. The most significant of these insights is perhaps the notion of synodality that Fr Sala was emphasising to be the process being pushed for by Pope Francis.  

The youth synod, not only spoke to the youth but also very concretely involved them in the process of the synod - from the beginning to the end!  This method of inviting them on board, this involvement of the youth in discussing matters of faith and vocation in the Church made a huge impact on the mood and mode of the synod itself.  I think it made a deep impact most of all on those participating in the synod.  Going forward, I think this method of involving all the stake holders in all the processes of decision-making, right since the beginning is the key to resolving quite a few issues that plague (or lack of which, hinder growth in) the Church and the congregation -  clericalism, ecumenism, inter-religious dialogue, bureaucracy, transparency and collective responsibility.  

This attitude and concrete method of synodality shifts the predominant mentality of the church and the congregation, from 'doing something' for the young to 'being with' the young.  

To be; to do the right thing

Having spent yesterday thinking about 'what to do?' especially if in the future there are no more structured ministry possibilities, listening to this morning's first reading was a sort of revelation! 

Paul and Silas are imprisoned, flogged, thrown into prison and shackled as well!  Placing myself in their shoes, I tried to picture myself.  Chained.  Bruised.  In prison with no guarantee of when I'd be released.  Not sure what next.  Yet in my heart there is this burning desire to preach the Risen Christ.  So what is going on in my mind?  I'm thinking of all the planned journeys, the meetings.  I'm trying to figure out how will I get out of this situation.  It's not for my own love of freedom, but for the impelling ministry that beckons me. 

Almost fell off my chair laughing when I saw this pic!
But that's exactly what Paul and Silas were doing... relaxing and singing! 

Instead what are Paul and Silas upto?  They are singing away!  And when the earthquake brings down the walls of the prison and offers them an escape, a means to carry on the important task of preaching, they still don't leave!  Surely they had every right to believe that it was God himself who was guiding their steps, out of the prison.  But finding themselves before the jailer about to commit suicide, they decide to stay on!!  Go preach vs save one life and jeopardize all prepared plans, give up any preaching.  What's more, go against God's own sign?  Yet they choose to stay on!  Be imprisoned!  And what follows?  That decision to stay on, itself becomes a ministry, an apostolate.  A moment of encounter for the jailer and his family to meet Christ; for the disciples Paul and Silas to encounter the jailer and his family;  for God to meet them all! 

To be, rather than to do.  To be willing and available for what God and His people offer.  To do the right thing, even if that's not what what's planned or the best of things!  

What to do?

What would I do if all formal and established forms of ministry are no more possible?  Would I be willing to still do what I can?  Will I be prepared to make that shift? 

The (part-time) work at the school may not be on offer next academic year.  What I thought would be a formidable time-filler for the rest of my stay here in this country is no more on the table.  One big part of me feels a bit sad: Did I not do well enough?  But a small part of me also feels a bit relieved.  I don't have to press the pedal too hard to fit in!  I've always taken pride in teaching for life, not for exams.  Moreover, the pandemic has shown me that work will always be available.  I only need to be available. 

However, I ask myself, what if tomorrow there is no teaching at all left to be done - not just here but anywhere in the world?  What then would I be doing?  No more official posts and duties of dean, administrator, teacher... how then do I make the most of myself?  Perhaps I'm not that kind of a person who instantly engages with the world - recognizing a need and responding to it appropriately.  Never felt the need to do it.  Never did it!  But if worse comes to worse, will I be able to make that shift?  What do I do to be prepared for that?  

Don Bosco, before Garelli?

In the Salesian tradition, there is a great narrative spun around the first interaction of Don Bosco with Bartolomeo Garelli, the boy whom Don Bosco meets in the church of St Francis de Sales.  This encounter is signposted as the origin of the Salesian oratory and the work of Don Bosco for the poor and marginalised youth.

However, it is not widely known that Don Bosco was already working for a section of the boys whom he would dedicate his life to, much before he met Bartholomeo Garelli.  Fr Cafasso, his spiritual director and guide, used to teach catechism every Sunday to bricklayers' boys.  And when he could not do it any longer, Don Bosco did it and he began with two boys. Not sure if he was requested to by Cafasso, or he took it upon himself, of his own accord.  Would be interesting to actually locate this in the historical chronology.  If so, then that Sunday catechism, rather than the Garelli encounter, could very well be the foundation of Salesian work.  Nonetheless, this historical evidence (as found in the Salesian Sources, Vol. 1) aids in understanding better the ambience in which Don Bosco found himself at home with - boys from the disadvantaged background. 

Dominic Savio, the odd one

Today we celebrate the feast of Dominic Savio, one of Don Bosco's renowned pupil.  However, it does not take us long to notice that Dominic Savio was certainly the odd one among the pupils of Don Bosco.  Most of the boys who were attracted by Don Bosco and those to whom Don Bosco felt drawn to were the ruffians, the hooligans, the juvenile delinquents... the underdogs, the unwanted.  But Don Bosco recognises in Dominic a boy of rare virtue, in their first encounter itself.

Most of the boys who joined the oratory were boys who had no where else to go.  They did not 'join' the oratory, they naturally found themselves there, primarily because of Don Bosco.  A few other lads were brought by their poor parents, or relatives who could not afford to look after them.  Some were sent by other priests knowing that Don Bosco was happy to look after boys in difficulty.  Dominic came in with his father.  And by the end of that first encounter with Don Bosco he makes a very strange request: "Make of me a good garment for the Lord!" Now most of the other boys, those of his age, would have asked for some food or list of things they are permitted to do while at the oratory.

This encounter also brings to light Don Bosco's ability to recognise a 'special child' when he meets one.  This is one of the virtues of Don Bosco, the educator, we Salesians ought to imbibe: to recognise and understand each child, each youngster as an individual.  Not see them all in a group, en masse.  Only when we come to know each child in his or her own particularity will we be able to bring out the best in them.  

Blending spirituality and work

Why Don Bosco appeals to me ... today?

For me, it is his ability to blend spirituality with the most mundane and 'unearthly work', that fascinates me most. He did not 'use' spirituality to counter the difficulties of working with difficult teenagers.  Neither did he 'use' his work for the teenagers as a 'proof' of his spiritual side.  His spiritual dimension blended beautifully with his work for his poor unruly and uneducated boys.  They did not support one another but we in a strange way brought to a sort of union.  It is this splendid integration of the spiritual with the mundane, that appeals me most of Don Bosco... today (later there may be something else that may appeal to me... for Don Bosco, like Christ, never fails to inspire and amaze!). 

A blessing lost

Today during Mass - during Communion, to be precise - I witnessed a scene that made me feel sad.  It made me say those words that young John Bosco said of the priests who never replied to a simple greeting: "If I were a priest, I would not do that!" 

The scene was of a small boy (J), aged 6 or 7, approach the priest distributing communion, along with his mother.  I've seen and interacted with this boy and for him his small toy, Teddy, is the best thing in the world.  So every Sunday he brings it along with him to Mass.  Today he surprisingly brought in another toy - appeared like a tiger or a honey bee.  But what he does every time he approaches the priest for a blessing, instead of the Communion, is that he stands there holding his toy high up, for the priest to give it also a blessing!!  I guess his logic is, if I can be blessed, why not bless Teddy too! 

Unfortunately none of the priests so far have obliged him!  And every time his mother has to drag him off the line!  My simple question: What does one lose by giving that toy a gentle tap?  You don't even have to utter a blessing.  Just smile and tap the toy!  J does not want anything else!  He's not asking for his Teddy to be baptised as per the ritual.  Just a blessing!  And even if a priest did bless the toy, will the latter then become the body of Christ?  Or will his priestly power diminish? 

If blessing a toy is going to brighten the day of a little 6-year old, and with him that of his whole family, I'd gladly do it every day! In fact, it is not the boy who lost out on a blessing today, it is we grown ups, especially the clergy, and the Church as a whole, who've lost out on the blessing of a happy child!  

Formation and knowledge

Reading this particular article on Aeon about walking and applying the philosophy of Gilbert Ryle to it, I was wondering if this can be applied to the whole process of formation and that particular phase of intellectual formation too.

Just a handful of us formators back in the province believe that a student discerning his vocation to priestly or religious life ought to have a rather meaningful and sensible intellectual capacity.  Lacking in which he or she will make things and life miserable for others and themselves - the exact opposite of what ministry seeks to do in service of the people! Most formators feel that intellectual capacity should not be a major factor to be considered when deciding whether a person continues being a religious or priest or not. 

Ryle seems to suggest that if self-teaching is activated, that would suffice for improving a skill. 

We can think about Ryle’s view as a middle way between the just-do-it view and intellectualism. Intellectualism claims that skilled action requires thought, and gives a picture of thought as deliberate, conscious internal activity. The just-do-it view observes that it is not plausible that skill requires this kind of conscious thinking, and concludes that thought is the enemy of skill. Ryle agrees with the just-do-it view that conscious thought is not a requirement of skill, but offers an alternative view of thinking as engaged problem solving, claiming that this kind of thought is a requirement of skilled action.

If I'm reading it right, Ryle would say that just because is a person is kind and considerate, does exempt him or her from engaging in a very intellectual exercise of thinking. Nonetheless, to actually continue being kind and considerate and develop it as a skill rather than blindly repeat certain kind actions and utterances, a particular kind of thought is essential. 

One need not be an expert in oceanography to be a priest or religious but if one is not competent to reflect on ones own ministry and willing to make sufficient effort to learn from it, even if already 'good' at it, then one certainly is not worthy of becoming a priest or religious. Openness and humility to learn, require a certain kind of thinking to actualize and bear fruit.  

What now?

During the students cross walk, especially towards the end, there was always this question on everyone's lips, "Would you be coming next year too?"  I honestly did not have an answer to that.  Neither did I want to have one immediately.  I basically want to let the experience sink in and then see it from a distance and then arrive at a decision about it being worthwhile the effort or not. 

One of the reasons I am not very keen about joining for such physically gruelling tasks of piety is that these are more like sprints in athletics.  Short bursts of activity which are considered sports, while the normal walking and running around in daily life are not considered sports!  I hold spirituality to be an everyday affair, not only the scattered spurts of excitement and then back to normalcy (non-holy days!). 

On the other hand, I never really signed up for this as an religious act or Lenten penance!  The fact that I got to be with young people (even it is it only those who are already 'faith-filled'), in their chosen moment, is something refreshing for me as a Salesian. That I could share with young people my life experience and faith journey and in turn be part of theirs is indeed a great privilege. 

In evaluating the event itself, I certainly wish to see how much it has impacted me prior and later as well.  A decision based on the event itself is not a balanced decision.  

With the young

Perhaps the best thing of my experience of the Students' Cross, that immediately comes to my mind, is the time interacting with the youngsters for practically a whole week, especially during the journey.  By the end of the day, with my feet aching so much, I barely could pray.  Beyond my feet, my mind, could not think or feel any divine inspiration!  But observing the youngsters in the group and listening to them, often their deepest personal experiences and aspirations was a good reminder of being a Salesian. 

The fact that they knew each other or at least had common friends because of whom getting to know those whom they had never met before, was pretty fast, as fast as snapping one's fingers.  That really bonded the group almost instantly.  Most of the youngsters were very very pious and highly determined about undertaking this gruelling walk in its entirety.  Most were also first time walkers.  I could clearly see that they had their 'need' for undertaking this walk pretty clear and pressing - even if not all shared that with me. 

'Unfortunately' they were all from very devout families and had a thorough Christian upbringing.  In that sense devotion was not something they had 'acquired' by themselves - they were brought up in it.  Nonetheless, their effort at understanding it and living by it was something very very amazing for me.  They were very convinced of why they were doing it.  I knew for sure that some of them were really struggling to walk towards the end of the day - just as I was - but it was as if the option of sitting it out for a while or giving it up was never there.  There were times that I really wished to take a break, though never felt that tired to give it up entirely.  But none of them seemed to even entertain that thought! It was as if they were just walking!  Moreover not one of them was moaning about their pains and aches.  Contrary to complaining they actually were cheerful - and chirpy - all day and night long!

One of the things that saddened me a bit was that there were no youngsters in the whole lot of pilgrims (300 or so) who was there to really 'explore' one's faith and devotion. Given that our group was the only other group which had new comers - that too a sizeable number - I gather that it was almost like fishing in a water tank!  That does not discount in any way the courage and depth of each of those youngsters who undertook the pilgrimage.  But it does raise the question of why don't other youngsters, especially native youngsters for whom faith is something not offered in families or at home, undertake this journey? Perhaps those who did try it are already hooked on to it and are now returners.  Perhaps they have found other more meaningful ways of living out their faith and devotion.  Or perhaps faith itself is not something that makes sense to them.  

Digital youth ministry

If not this generation, the next generation of Indian children will most certainly be the 'generation z'!  Today we in India still have the 'luxury' of a captive audience, by way of young people in our schools, parishes, youth centres and colleges.  Thanks to our culture and rootedness in family connections it may really take some time before the European scenario is replicated in our hometowns:  we'd have the previously listed institutional set ups, but the actual meeting place of the young will no more be playgrounds, youth clubs or classrooms.  They will be meeting, chatting, discussing, deliberating things and life matters online! 

Like the case of very many youngsters in the cities and in Europe, the only place where you can actually see and meet young people is online!! And the only friends they have are in the virtual world.  I see this so vividly here in the UK.  I know that this is not the healthiest for human growth, but this is the reality.  This is our 'giveness'.  A strange era (atleast for 'oldies' like me, but not for the young of today).  The Salesian mantra of 'Being out there with young people' is still valid.  But we can be and do so without physically leaving one's room! More than any other place on earth, digital youth ministry is very much the way forward here in the first world! 

But this online contact is only the initial contact phase.  The deeper accompaniment will be possible and is truly meaningful only when we are face to face, in person.  However, more and more today, if not for this initial online contact, the later personal contact is almost impossible.  What we most significantly can do is make know of the presence of an 'anchor' to young people, not get them to stick to it!  In due course, at important moments of life, when faced with challenges they find unsurmoutable, they will atleast remember that they can 'anchor' on someone.  Perhaps then we can play a more consistent and influential role in their individual lives.  Till then, the sporadic, accidental, non-essential tweets, texts and chats are the way forward. 

Being at home with ourselves

While discussing with a group of members of the Salesian family about the notion of spiritual accompaniment of young people, it came across to me that the basic starting premise of our effort is that there is something not right with young people today!!  For me that is a dangerous launching pad.  We (the grown ups of today) have a 'problem' with the young of today - may not be a life and death problem but let's say, a difficulty.  I realized that our preceding generation had the same complain about us!!  Nothing very different.

The starting point of all our interactions with the young should be meeting them where they are - not where they 'should' be!  The way forward is not to become like them or make them like us.  We are the digital immigrants and no matter how hard we try we will never become digital natives.  Nor is any attempt to make the natives feel like immigrants of any real benefit.  The best way forward is to be with ourselves today.   Most of us do not know how to be ourselves, leave alone how to be be with God! In being happy and contended with ourselves and in our openness (non-judgemental attitude) to be with them lies the key to a harmonious future, both for us individuals and for our collective society.