Presence and accompaniment

 In an era where AI is making significant waves, for good and for bad, one reflection that I came across that makes profound sense to me as a Salesian, an educator: 

The AI offers answers, not necessarily a presence. The AI may provide solutions, but not necessarily consolation and accompaniment.  When God chose to reach humanity, he did not send information. He chose to be present in person. 

However, I am also aware of the danger of side-lining this AI wave as not overriding. Wisdom and happiness lies in striving for balance, making the most of the opportunities without compromising on basics and values. 

Thanksgiving rather than a petition

 Lord, stay with us! 

This was the theme of our recollection talk yesterday.  Drawing it sensibly from the passage of the Emmaus story and the numerous instances in the Bible, the talk highlighted the importance of this short but effective prayer: Lord, stay with us! Also a very very Salesian theme (accompaniment!). 

The talk also included the narration of an incident in the life of Mahatma Gandhi.  He was once travelling by train to Bhuvaneshwar to attend a rally.  He chose to travel in the general compartment, packed with people. Those accompanying him and others who knew him offered him a seat in that packed compartment.  A bulky man too entered soon after and noticed the extra space for this 'skinny man' - people out of respect dared not to cramp Gandhi and hence had made extra space for him.  This hefty man, not recognising Gandhi, was infact going to the same place to listen to Gandhi! They did interact a couple of minutes but not much.  Only on reaching the station and noticing the crowd gathered to welcome Gandhi, did he realise that he travelled a long distance beside the very man whom he wished to hear - without knowing and engaging in a conversation! 

Such is also our rapport with God.  While the prayer, 'Stay with us, Lord' is a very genuine and heartfelt prayer, I believe it is not always the right kind of prayer.  I believe, God is ALWAYS with us.  It is we who do not feel his presence.  Hence rather than ask Him to be with us, we ought to pray that we realise and cherish His presence.  From another perspective, more than a petition, the latter attitude or realisation is a prayer of thanksgiving: THANK YOU Lord, for being with me! 

Stages of growth and accompaniment

Last month we had a session on accompaniment, wherein Fr Raja spoke quite lucidly about the four different stages or levels of spiritual growth and the type of recommended accompaniment at each stage. The first stage is a very shallow level where individuals are basically self-centred and selfish.  Those at this stage need to be supported and encouraged to engage in an honest self-appraisal, rather than be endorsed or consoled! 

The next level of faith, is institutional.  Most of us fall under that category.  God is seen as external, formal, rigorous, legalistic and dogmatic. Accompaniment at this level is gentle, with a slight nudge towards internalisation and the next level. 

The third level is a more mature level, but hardly follows any order. This is perhaps the most unsettling stage for young people who find it difficult to balance the traditional faith inherited from their parents (second level) and the disconnect they feel within themselves to accepting this faith.  Hence the inner turmoil.  This is a stage where people tend to explore, not with the intent of rebellion but a genuine interest in deepening one's idea of God, spirituality and religion.  People herein seek logical answers to their queries; rather than magical rites. They tend to take ownership of their own faith. Accompanying them, one shouldn't push them to engage in traditional religious practices, which they often rebel against. They do not reject faith as such, but inherited faith. 

We keep shuffling between these three levels, never stuck at any one particular. Maturity lies in moving towards the third stage; and touching the fourth stage (mystical). 

The last stage is mystical, where interconnectedness is emphasised, community is valued greater than individuals, lack of answers and logic does not perturb much, and is perhaps a mix of the second (dogmatic) and the third (rational) stages. 

Listening to him, I asked myself: Are we as a Province (confreres put together) at the third stage of religious consciousness/spirituality; whereas the orientation of the accompaniment offered by the leadership is of the second stage!?? … our emphasis on the routines, rituals, dogmas, whereas individuals are undergoing a phase of faith-loss, and in the process of search for truth. That said, there are some clearly very much in stage one (self-centred and even anti-social).

Formation and apostolate

What is the major difference between formation houses and houses of active apostolate?  Or in other words, between formation and apostolate?  

I know I'm splitting hairs.  I am also very aware and conscious of the fact that the two are not different or segregated.  Nonetheless, there is a difference.  There should be a difference.  

During the discussions about getting familiarised with the GC29 documents it occurred to me that perhaps one thing that distinguishes formation from active apostolate is the degree of accompaniment.  While formation is all about accompaniment, during the initial years of formation, the young Salesian is offered a greater possibility of being accompanied.  During apostolate in full-fledged active communities, the level of accompaniment is significantly lower.  Of course, no accompaniment at this stage is bad; the fact is that the luxury formation settings provide for the type of accompaniment offered is not possible in communities with multiple sectors and works.  

Blessed are those who realise that formation is all about accompaniment; helping the young Salesian personalise the formation process so that no matter where he goes or does, he makes that an opportunity for learning and growing.  Just like Don Bosco who did not treat his seminary years as years of formation;  his whole life, every incident, every achievement and failure; every task and challenge, he turned it into a formation experience!  

Vocation

Everytime we speak of 'vocation' in our religious circles we most often mean 'vocation to priestly and religious life'.  It is as if vocation to married life or any other form of life is not a vocation.  When this partial outlook is pointed out we cover up saying that even they are vocations, but the former is the crowing of all vocations! 

However, I feel strongly convinced that unless and until we really understanding vocation in its universal and true sense, we will only be 'selling' vocation; doing recruitment rather than discernment.  As educators of the young, we are primarily called to help young people discover, discern and follow their vocation.  And every person's primary vocation is to love and be loved!  The vocational discernment is to help young people ask themselves basic questions about meaning and purpose of his or her life.  As long as we sincerely and passionately engage in this noble apostolate we are true to our own calling as Salesians. Otherwise we are only 'pedlars' or vendors of the Salesian career - all in the name of youth ministry and vocation promotion.  

The post youth synod apostolic exhortation by Pope Francis, Christus vivit no. 286 describes the great vocational question that every young person has to ask himself or herself as "for whom am I?"  This is more deeper and way too personal than merely asking oneself, "what am I to do?" or "who should I become?"

The Emmaus journey

The passage of the Emmaus journey, never fails to inspire me and offer new insights, everytime I read or hear it.

What I found interesting this time was the fact that Jesus joins them on their journey! It is not Christ who is leading the way or taking them somewhere He intends to go.  Rather it is he who is joining them on their path. He goes in to their home, at their invitation.  He does not take them back to Jerusalem or to the places where and what he is explaining about. 

This insight very well fits in with my favourite perspective with regard to God's presence with us and the notion of prayer.  God does not drag us to places, we do not wish to go to.  Rather he accompanies us.  It is therefore best not to ask God to accompany us in our life's journey - He already and always is!  The best thing we can do is ask ourselves, 'Do I feel His presence with me, with us?'  The prayer then, is a conversation with this God whose presence I feel with me, always. 

The Emmaus story

The Gospel event of the Emmaus experience consistently continues to amaze me.  Perhaps it is the one event narrated in the Bible that I've found myself reflecting on most recurrently.

This evening it occurred to me that Jesus while joining the two disciples was leading them in the opposite direction.  Rather than lead them back to Jerusalem, where the whole action was being unfolded, he walks with them, in the opposite direction.  Then the comedy of the fact, the disciples reach Emmaus only to run back to Jerusalem, the place where they started their journey! Back to square one! 

One way of looking at it is that God often leads us away from where we are and where we think we ought o be, only to lead us in the opposite direction.  Perhaps later in life we get back to where we initially wanted to be, but then we are not anymore the same person who started off.  The journey, the new place we've been to, and the whole experience of the while, transforms us and our view of the place we are so convinced we actually ought to be in. 

Another way of looking at it is that God joins us in our journey. He does not cause abrupt u-turns in our life, just because he wants to or because that's where we are supposed to be.  He basically accompanies us, even if we are in a totally different direction.  It is in our daily living that we encounter God.  In our everyday choices and decisions.  He accompanies us.  The decision to change or retain paths is always ours!  

Accompaniment

As part of the (personal rare!) reflection on the General Chapter and its preparation, I felt that that youngsters here in the West have a greater need for accompaniment and support than those in the East.  Youngsters here tend to 'gain' their independence soon after their school - more or less at the age of 18.  By then they finish school and mostly move out of their parents house, either for higher education or work.  From then on their dependence on the parents drastically reduces.  The physical distance from home makes a lot of difference.  Even if the children were 'independent' for their personal matters since a couple of years (their sixth form or so), the real moving out of the house, marks a clear separation. 

Unlike this scenario, in the East, children stay with their parents right till they get married. And most even when married continue to live in the same house with the parents (at least the boys).  So in this sense they still enjoy that support of the parents and elders at home.  While in the West, young people learn taking on responsibility early on in life, the danger of them not having anyone to fall back on when in times of crisis, especially if they are far away from home or do not really enjoy a comfortable relationship with their parents, is greater.  It is at these crucial times when they need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear, or a gentle pat or knock (depending), that most youngsters either make or break themselves.  Most rely on friends. But not always.  Social media is perhaps the closest 'friend' most have! 

In this scenario, accompaniment matters most.  It is not mere presence in those crucial or demanding times, but much prior to that!  Only when a young person feels comfortable with someone or looks upto someone as more than a friend, but not necessarily as a parent, that he or she is going to turn back to that person in times of need.  In this sense, accompaniment envelopes presence and demands a prolonged and sustained effort. 

Being at home with ourselves

While discussing with a group of members of the Salesian family about the notion of spiritual accompaniment of young people, it came across to me that the basic starting premise of our effort is that there is something not right with young people today!!  For me that is a dangerous launching pad.  We (the grown ups of today) have a 'problem' with the young of today - may not be a life and death problem but let's say, a difficulty.  I realized that our preceding generation had the same complain about us!!  Nothing very different.

The starting point of all our interactions with the young should be meeting them where they are - not where they 'should' be!  The way forward is not to become like them or make them like us.  We are the digital immigrants and no matter how hard we try we will never become digital natives.  Nor is any attempt to make the natives feel like immigrants of any real benefit.  The best way forward is to be with ourselves today.   Most of us do not know how to be ourselves, leave alone how to be be with God! In being happy and contended with ourselves and in our openness (non-judgemental attitude) to be with them lies the key to a harmonious future, both for us individuals and for our collective society.  

Muonic generation

Muons are part of electrons (themselves part of atoms and molecules).  However one specialty of these muons is that their lifespan is 220th fraction of a second.  One of the research students at the university doing her research on muons is trying to see the benefits of colliding muons.  Her first challenge is to get sufficient muons, enough to cause a collision, and most importantly 'prolong' their life to more than that minuscule fraction of a second, to actually make the collision happen!  One possibility she said was to speed up the muons to the speed of light, wherein time slows.  That way one could 'extend their lifespan'. 

Listening to Fr Louis Grech's talk on spiritual accompaniment of Generation z (the digital natives), I could not but see the great connection and similarities between muons and generation z.  The digital natives of today too are like muons.  Very short attention span, a pace of their own, exist in a world quite different from the rest, the interaction space is on another plane (the instant media, not even social media). So I was asking myself how can one 'extend' time with such a generation?  How to travel at the speed of light in order for that interaction to take place? 

Whatever be the pace and space inhabited by generation z, they too are flesh and blood.  They too have feelings, emotions, fears, anxieties, pain... I think it is in those times that time actually slows down for them.  That's the possibility of 'catching up with them'.  But this 'catching up with them' is not going to be possible if we have not had some accidental but meaningful interaction with them somewhere in 'their' world at some time. 

Gone are the days, at least in most of Europe, where the space of interacting with young people is a formal physical institution where they all are gathered and listening attentively to the words of a Salesian.  Or the young members of a youth club which meets every weekend or evening of a weekday.  Most youngsters today are members of groups, but all online. None physical. None geographical.  

Joseph called Barsabbas

In the selection process for the replacement of Judas, Joseph and Matthias are the finalists.  Unable to decide upon which one, the apostles pray and cast lots (initially reminded me of the soldiers at the foot of the cross casting lots for the robe of Jesus).  The lot falls for Matthias and he is announced as one of the apostles. 

What became of Joseph called Barsabbas?  Simple: He carried on his life and ministry!  That's how I would like to remember him.  If among all the people they had to choose from, the apostles zeroed in on these two men, they surely must have been men of faith, men dedicated to the ministry and truly in love with Jesus.  So I don't think being granted the title of an 'apostle' would have made any big difference to their personal character.  All that happened was that one got an additional role and responsibilities, the other didn't get that role... but the ministry and life of faith continued.

How often in life, have we seen people give up everything for a particular goal or post?  And once they do get the post, life is totally different.   It happens all the time in politics and with politicians.  It happens also with priests, religious and bishops..., especially those whose aim is the post (religious politicians?).  I wish Luke the author of the Acts had enumerated the qualities of Joseph and Matthias and a bit more of the selection criteria.  But honestly speaking all that was needed is clearly mentioned:

...it is necessary that one of the men who accompanied us the whole time the Lord Jesus came and went among us, beginning from the baptism of John until the day on which he was taken up from us, become with us a witness to his resurrection.

...been with Jesus and his people and a genuine witness of all that Jesus stood for... we get the role for being this, with the confidence that we would do better.  If those basic qualities for which we were granted the role and related responsibilities are compromised with, then one has no right to continue in that role or claim anything related to it.  That would be the story of Judas, not Joseph Barsabbas!

Building on the existing good

The Parish celebrated the feast of Don Bosco today. During the Mass the parish priest spoke of the life of Don Bosco. When he spoke of Don Bosco first meeting with Barthalomeo Garelli, it struck me that Don Bosco started with what was good in the boys.  The only thing Garelli could do was whistle - Don Bosco is happy with that for the first meeting!  He slowly builds on that rather than straight away infuse in them some of those virtues or qualities that he thinks they ought to have.  The starting point is not the intention of the educator or the formator but the existing good or virtue in the beneficiary.

Seeing this from my perspective as a formator, I was wondering how justified am I in demanding a level of intellectual calibre in the formees.  Whatever and however great and noble my intentions and motivations, if I do not start from what the students are already good at, then I will be riding against the tide all the time.  The student will see himself facing an insurmountable task without seeing the qualities he already has as an investment.  Now that's a challenge for the formator, especially if the number is large and the pupil of diverse backgrounds.  To understand each individual, find out his or her strength and then help them use them as a launching pad, is indeed a tall order.  But if I have a personal rapport with each of them, then helping them in their intellectual struggle will be easy.  On the other hand, judging them on the basis of their intellectual standard alone will be my short coming as a formator.  

God's failure

God always does the right thing. His choice is never wrong.  Therefore he always succeeds.  Wrong!  Just because He does the right thing and his choice is for the good, does not mean that God always succeeds.  He does fail.  

The choice of Saul is a perfect example.  Yahweh chooses him from among all the Israelites to be the first king of the Jews.  Yet he does not complete his life-long tenure.  Within a dozen years (biblically and historically there is no definitive proof of the exact period of his reign) he is ousted by David, again chosen by Yahweh himself.  Saul a chosen protege of God does not live up to His standards and is therefore replaced by David.  One might state that it is Saul who failed, not God.  But couldn't have God chosen a better person, someone who would not fail so quick?  After all, when God did choose Saul, he was the best in the whole of Israel.  But was he? 

We often think that God chooses the best.  Therefore they are not bound to fail or fall.  The truth is far from it.  He actually chooses the most unlikely of all people.  His choice is based not on who they will be, but who they are at that moment.  And most certainly, his measurement of 'best' is way  different our human standards.  Moses was not a real prince.  Daniel a commoner.  Saul was an obedient son.  David was a simple shepherd.  John the baptist, a mendicant.  Mary, a nobody.  His choice and assignment of responsibilities empowers them with greater possibilities of actualising their potential.  God lets them be.  He does not circumvent situations and manipulate events to prove his choice right and best all the time.  He lets the one chosen chalk out his or her way, merely assuring them His abiding presence:  "The Lord is with him/you!"

I watch the sunrise...

Have heard this hymn just a couple of times earlier, and always felt greatly at peace at those moments.  We sang it today at the diamond jubilee ordination celebrations of Fr Peter Burns.  Like most the words of the chorus... endorsing my conviction that He is always with me; it is I who needs to feel His presence!

...You are always close to me, following all my ways.

May I be always close to You, following all Your ways, Lord!

I WATCH THE SUNRISE...

I watch the sunrise lighting the sky,
Casting its shadows near.
And on this morning bright though it be,
I feel those shadows near me.

But you are always close to me 
Following all my ways. 
May I be always close to you 
Following all your ways, Lord. 

I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds,
Warming the earth below.
And at the mid-day, life seems to say:
"I feel your presence near me."

For you are always . . . 

I watch the sunset fading away,
Lighting the clouds with sleep.
And as the evening closes its eyes,
I feel your presence near me.

For you are always . . . 

I watch the moonlight guarding the night,
waiting till morning comes.
The air is silent, earth is at rest –
only your peace is near me.

For you are always . . .

Accompaniment

Reflection for April 19

The 'Emmaus account' has a typically Salesian flavour. It is basically an excellent summary of genuine accompaniment. To be like the risen Lord who walks along with the disciples. Lovingly and patiently accompanying those entrusted to one's care, listening and responding to them in ways and idioms that they understand. At the same time always challenging them to go deeper. Spiritually it is a pilgrimage of which the centre and focal point is the encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, experienced not merely at the altar but on the dusty path, in the open. It is also an experience that becomes the springboard and launching pad for ministry even when it means hitting the road in the dark of the night, for the light is within.

Remembering the deceased

Today, the 1st of February, immediately after the day we celebrate the feast of Don Bosco, we Salesians commemorate the memory of our deceased confreres.  We remember with gratitude and pray for those gone before us who, in their lifetime, added to the charism of Don Bosco and made the Salesian work more dynamic, meaningful and contextual.

And in the morning the first names that I remembered were that of Fr John Lens, Fr Ronald Menezes and surprisingly, Fr Mauro Casarotti.  Fr Lens is someone whom I knew since my childhood.  He was in the school where I studied, then when I was an aspirant, he was my rector and then all the subsequent years, while he was in the novitiate, I kept in touch with him.  Initially through letters and then in person.  Never knew anyone as down-to-earth as him.  His joyful and perfect detachment from all material things was amazing... made it look so simple.  Also liked his simple way of interacting with anyone, just anyone!

Fr Ronny, was my rector during my one year stay at Don Bosco School, Matunga.  I was a studying media and communications and he was of great help and inspiration.  I liked him for his straight-forward attitude and simplicity of life.  He also had a good way of relating to people and making everyone feel comfortable and good about themselves.

Fr Casa, was someone I first met while studying M.Ph. in Nashik. He used to come from Mumbai and spend a few days with us, helping out as the confessor.  Around him it was all fun and laughter.  He was the heart of any gathering and corridor talk.  In spite of the fact that in the early days he was provincial of two diverse provinces (Mumbai and Guwahati), he carried himself with such simplicity that a casual interaction would mislead one to think of him as a simple 'old man'. Later too while at Matunga, I would meet him often, and he was the same. Still at that ripe old age, he would be consistent with his work in the propaganda office.  Always kind, gentle, smiling and friendly.  He loved people.  One always felt comfortable being oneself with him. He had no pretensions and neither did anyone feel like putting on a mask in his presence.