Learning patience - 2

 While there are spaces and places wherein I still need to acquire the virtue of patience (maintaining my equilibrium), there are other times and places that I've really learnt the art. I can now boast, to a certain extent, of 'waiting it out' with grace, in or on such occasions... 

calmly walking up and down the railway platform, waiting for an already delayed train to arrive, with co-passengers literally swearing at every other person, because the train has not yet arrived. 

doodling or scribbling away on my notepad waiting in the parlour, for the patient or colleague undergoing a surgery or attending a session, and is supposed to have been out an hour ago, but is still to come out

at hospitals or government offices or courtrooms, awaiting for the concerned official to turn up, leave alone review my file or case! 

waiting for the unending sermon to conclude, having heard the preacher use the phrase 'the last point' or 'last of all' for a dozen times already, almost 30 minutes ago. 

Learning patience

 Ever waited for a particular bus at the bus stop and noticed that every bus, going in every direction, except the one you are waiting for, turns up!! 

Or on other occasion, you wait in a queue for hours, and when you ultimately reach the counter, the clerk shuts the window with the 'lunch break' sign. 

Of late, there are these OTPs and codes being sent, for any and every interaction and transaction, albeit with a timer of 30 seconds or worse still some have only a 15 seconds time out.  And the OTP arrives not lesser than 15 MINUTES later!! 

Then there are those instances when you ought to upload a file to the government website for voter ID or income tax or property tax.  Most often these work (if at all they work) at night.  I guess it is because of the heavy traffic load on the server.  Even at those precious last minutes, the site page totally never moves!  The circle keeps rotating and never stops!  And eventually the deadline closes!

These are precious moments to learn patience! 

The art of waiting...

Over the years, I have quite happily mastered to a great extent, the art of waiting... for long! Knowing that a task is delayed is one thing. Not knowing when at all it will ever be completed is another! 

And what better place to practice waiting than at an Indian government office! Of course, hospitals also offer a good practice ground, but nothing beats a government office and officials. 

From another perspective, I think deadlines - or rather an obsession with deadlines - do play a big role in the process of mastering the art of waiting. Once you take out the deadline issue out of the equation, then it is another ball game altogether.  

Like Buddha taking out 'desire' from the world to end all sorrow and suffering! 

Don't chase the butterfly

 Inspirational thought for the day... 

Patience and perseverance

Elisha cures Naaman, the Syrian of his leprosy.  Here's an imaginative aftermath of the event...

Many of the lepers in Israel hear of Naaman's cure and rush to the Jordan to take a dip.  Some wash themselves more than 7 times.  Some do it for 7 days continuously.  None of them are healed.  (Don't ask me why!).  Some go to Elisha and ask him to heal them too of their leprosy.  To each he prescribes a different course of action - all of which often take many days of perseverance and continued effort by the 'patient'.  Of these most give up very soon, because nothing of the sort that happened to Naaman is happening to them.  Of the few who continue being faithful to the 'prescriptions' of Elisha, not all are optimism. As time goes by and no healing happening, they begin to lose hope.  Only the most adamant and the most distressed, 'hell-bent' on getting rid of the disease continue and are ultimately healed.  But by this time, Elisha has moved on.  Those who were watching all this, hawk-eyed, have long got bored and gone on to find something more 'instantaneous' to amuse themselves with.  And those handful who actually are cured as now not so sure that it is only the 'prescription' of Elisha that has worked. 

McFarland, USA

Last night I watched the movie McFarland, USA.  Am surprised I never heard of it before (given the fact that I have seen more movies in the past three years than I've seen my whole life).  The fact that it is based on a true story is what makes it really inspirational.

The movie is about a group of young boys and their coach in the neglected state of McFarland who train and go on to become the best in cross country race.  What touched me was the ease with which these youngsters could take pressure, especially of work.  Not only did they work, they studied and they trained (which is equally grueling)... all at the same time.  And they did it all with a sense of determination and joy.  Liked the movie for it portrays the value of family, of a team, of belonging, of unity, hard work, of enjoying the little things of life, prejudices and values we hold dear...

There is a truth in the quality of life lived by those who do strenuous manual labour.  I do believe that hard manual labour, especially directly in touch with nature, is a great learning experience.  The following clip is a neat summary of my sentiments too (about all those who slog it out, day in and day out, )

Loved also the amusing clips wherein this coach, used to a posh and comfortable lifestyle and setting, finds the ways of his boys used to the hard life of labour strange.  There is one particular scene wherein after being invited to join the family meal of his team, he wishes to thank the father.  Assuming that he does not know English, he asks one of his sons to tell him that he felt honoured to being invited to his house.  The son repeats the same in English!  And the father tells the son, "Tell him, that he is welcome!" ... in English!

A personal call

Reflections for April 18

“Rabboni...”

Mary Magdalene recognizes Jesus when He calls her by her name. It is in that face-to-face encounter with Jesus that Mary realises Jesus. And when she relays this incident and Jesus' message to the others they hardly believe her. Besides the fact that all of this was totally new and too much for their grief-stricken moment, it is also indicative of what a 'call' is: a personal invitation, not a common information.

Most often we mortals are so lost in our day-to-day lives that we barely hear His voice or call. Even at times when we are frantically searching for His will, just like Mary desperately pleads with the 'gardener' for Jesus' body, we do not recognize Him. That's because we have an image of Jesus that we are fixated with. Anything different from that would not be considered. Only those who have the patience to sift through human appearances, fixated ideas and pre-meditated results, will be able to hear His call – a call that is personal.

Moreover, Jesus did not entrust some monumental task Mary... just a simple message to be conveyed! That done well, is mission accomplished. To look for a great role, a grand activity is to miss the point of a call.

Responsible excuse

Most of us who have traveled in India by train know that it is no big surprise when trains run late. Very often, whenever there is a delay, the announcement one gets to hear (if at all there is one) is that the train has been delayed.  Sometimes, there is also the duration of delay announced, but everyone hearing that knows all too well that the duration is much more than the one announced.

However, one thing I've observed here in UK while waiting for trains (which hardly run late). On the few occasions that I've traveled and there is a delay in the regular local trains, there is an announcement to that effect. Not only does it include the exact - and very exact - duration of delay, the revised time of arrival, but also the reason for the delay!

Now that's a step towards owning responsibility for one's deeds.

The London South-West train service that I use most often

Jesus waits...

Here's a nice video reflection of Malachi 3:3 sent to me by Jules:

He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver...

Driving and traffic

While crossing the road here in London, someone asked me, "Why do you look left and right? It is enough to look only to your right. Unless you are at a crossroad."

I replied, "I come from India!" She did not have anything else to ask or say!

Honestly traffic here in London is quite busy, but very very orderly.  It is a week since I landed in London and my room is next to the road.  I've been out almost every day but I am yet to hear a vehicle honk!  Drivers are very polite and smooth.  They wait, let others pass straight rather than sneak in fast or the little window they get.

I'd be getting a few driving lessons from this weekend - thanks to Fr John who arranged for someone to assist me.  However, with the Indian driving license I can drive for one year.  But as I was telling Fr Sean yesterday, it is not driving that I need to learn, but driving as per rules!

...that's more like an Indian driving scenario!

Of Education...

Speaking of education, I gathered the following insights offered by a Westerner studying the Japanese method of learning, from the book Zen in the Art of Archery.

The Japanese pupil brings with him three things: good education, passionate love for his chosen art, and uncritical veneration of his teacher. 

I wondered what the first one really meant. So I made a list of things that mark a Japanese student-teacher relationship:

• The role of the teacher is truly great and noble... in every sense. The teacher knows each of the pupils so intimately that only he knows when exactly to 'touch' the core of the pupil. 
• The teacher is ALWAYS patient... under no circumstance does the teacher give up hope. In his great wisdom the teacher knows and makes the most of those crucial moments when a student needs to be touched. Patience... great patience, both on the part of the teacher and on the part of the student. No lengthy instructions. Merely short commands and then silent follow up. 
• The teacher demonstrates and the student is expected to practice, practice continuously. However, the student is not to exhaust himself or herself. Art is not something mastered, it is something imbibed; not earned, but experienced. 
• The teacher lets the student reach a point of desperation, a total self-emptying... perhaps the most painful part of the education process. 
• The target is not what it actually appears. The aim is far more deeper and spiritual. Completing a task or mastering a particular art is only an ordinary outcome of this actual aim. More than a physical movement, an inward movement is initiated. 
• The teacher does not teach, but merely shows the way. The student does the learning. “The instructor's business is not to show the way itself, but to enable the pupil to get the feel of this way to the goal by adapting it to his individual peculiarities.”

Loving patience

Had a bumpy ride from Punganur to Chennai last night... couldn't expect anything more, occupying a seat in the last row of the bus!  Added to that there was a small boy and his mother sitting beside me and the whole night - the whole night! - the boy kept crying for his grandfather. Most of the passengers were irritated and would often stare at the mother.  One youngster was so vexed that he even went to the extent of asking her when was she getting off!

However, what appealed to me most was the loving patience of this mother.  I'm sure the child must have slept well during the day, if not it would not have the energy to keep crying all night.  That meant the mother would have been at work all day long. She appeared to be a daily wage labourer or a vendor.  But not once did I hear her raise her voice or beat the child.  All along the journey, she kept distracting the child in a hushed voice, with all sorts of stories and what not. Neither did she threaten the child to stop crying - maybe just one or two times, but that too in a very tender manner. The whole night she kept her child busy showing her things from the window, talking to him of all sorts of things, narrating stories... so patiently and with such love. I guess that is possible only for a mother.

Of course, I've seen other women take care of their children - believe me, for it is coming from one who has some divine 'blessing' of always travelling with some noisy kids - but this woman stands out for her loving patience! Truly incredible.  

The arrogant vs the polite

Two men crossing a narrow stairway and both of them could not walk through at the same time.  One had to make way for the other.  For some moments, they stared at each other, neither wishing to give way.  Then the first man said, "Get out of my way, let me pass." "I was about to ask you the same thing," the second replied politely.  "Nonsense," replied the first arrogantly. "I never make way for a fool." "I do," answered the second, moving to let the other pass. 

Kindness and mediocrity

Kindness without the courage to stand by truth is mediocrity. And merely tolerating mediocrity is no compassion; it is cowardice.  

I knew!

While evaluating a particular student/brother in the community, I could not but narrate this short story I heard sometime ago, to describe him best:

A family of tortoises went on a picnic and after years of walk, reached the spot and began to unpack their picnic meal.  However, they soon discovered that they forgot to get the salt. So after much discussion the youngest of them agreed to make the journey back home to fetch the salt.  However, his only condition was that they should not begin the meal without him. Once everyone agreed, he set out.
Months passed by and still when there was no sign of the youngest tortoise. The eldest then said that they start and he'll join in. So they opened their picnic meal.  The moment the lid was off, the youngest tortoise jumped out from behind a tree and exclaimed: "I knew you wouldn't wait for me! My suspicion proved right. I certainly am not going to get the salt!"

Some just wait for others to commit mistakes so that they can jump on them! 

Advent wait

During the homily this morning, we were reminded that the season of Advent is almost akin to the Aesop's fable of the 'goose which laid the golden egg'. In our eagerness and over-zeal to hasten the celebrations and festivity of the coming of the Lord, we cut short the period of Advent and rush in Christmas.  The Church has rightly grown in this tradition of 'waiting' for the Lord, for no shoddy reason.  It is basically to savour the Lord, to prepare for his coming, to persevere in our zeal to encounter him.

Let there not be a cesarean for Christmas!

Temperance in Work

Just today I received a mail from a very good spiritual guide and friend of mine.  He reminded me to take care of my health and not to over-work.  On a lighter note he reminded me that I should perhaps take seriously the modern reinterpretation of the traditional idea of work and temperance in the Salesian Constitution: Not 'Work and Temperance' but 'Temperance in work'!

That was really amusing.  I'm sure most traditional novice masters would cringe at that reinterpretation!  

Why me?

Over the last year I have had to take care of someone who is not psychologically sound (at times) or atleast always be on the alert for signs of tripping on medicine or any signs of highs and lows, which subsequently lead to a dramatic outburst.  Sometimes I found asking myself, why me?  Could not have someone else this 'duty'?  However, one thing that silenced all these questions was the fact that he was one who early on in my formation process guided me, long time ago. Furthermore, he is now family and in the family we do not calculate care and concern.

Sitting this morning for meditation, another 'reason' flashed across my mind.  There is a scene in the Telugu movie 'Anjali', wherein the two children ask their father as to why, of all families and houses, did they (parents) have to get Anjali (the youngest who is mentally challenged) to their house?  The father after a pause replies, "When God wanted to send Anjali on this earth, he looked out for a loving family which would take care of his special child.  He wanted her to have an elder brother who would take care of her, a sister who would play with her and a mother who would love her very much. And he found us! That's why Anjali is with us."

Perhaps this is one way I can put to use the abundant graces God has bestowed upon me... by sharing them, with others, especially those not so blessed as me.

Thank you Lord! 

Parable of the tilled ground

My thought for the night, to the community:

In the Gospels, the parables used by Jesus about the seed and the sower, the weeds and the soil, leave me somewhat still looking for the 'missing piece'.  Fr Thathireddy's closing comments after the Provincial Chapter, gave me an insight into this 'missing piece'. He said that the Chapter was basically tilling the soil, ploughing the field; the seed is to be sown still.  Most of us, staff and students, towards the end of the year, go to 'harvest' our crops, the fruit of our year long labour of study.  For many, there isn't any. Of the remaining, only a handful get something worthwhile.  The rest only pick up some leftovers.  There could be several reasons for this debacle (the low quality of the seed, the fertility of the soil, pests, lack of water...).  However, I guess there could be another reason: the ground was never tilled!  Never did anyone care to prepare the ground!  I am sure if Jesus were to have lived some more time on this earth, he'd have added the parable of the tilled ground too. 

Queue psychology

As I spent four and half hours standing in the queue, I had ample time to formulate a 'queue psychology'. Here are some of the insights I gained while on my feet...

• As long as I was the last one, the fear that I may not get a confirmed ticket loomed large.  However, when there were almost the same number of people behind me, as there were before me, I someone was sure of getting a confirmed ticket.  Added to that was a sense of pity for those who kept joining the queue, as whether at all they will manager to reach the counter before it shuts down. 
• However organised and orderly the queue, the number of squabbles is directly proportional to the duration of wait. 
• There are always some who reach the scene late and a while later, find themselves much ahead of us in the queue.  No one knows how and when did he manage to squeeze in, but the fact is that he is there!  And, of course, when noticed by someone there invariably erupts a fight! 
• The degree of tension is inversely proportional to the duration of time for the counter to open. 
• Just when the counter opens, everybody rushes to reach the counter - gone the line and order!  And after some heated discussions and jostling when the order is restored, there invariably are a few who have managed to get in.  
• If jumping the line is a skill then staying unnoticed till your turn to submit the form at the counter arrives, is a real talent.  Some do it with great ease and flair!  
• When one joins the line fresh, he is a novice - unsure, perplexed, seeking knowledge...  After a couple of hours, he'd be doling out advice and instructions to newcomers as though, he were the Buddha himself!