RE answers

Correcting my Year 9 students Religious education (RE) exam papers...
Question on heresies: Explain two heresies in the Church.
Answer: John the Baptist and Jesus.
(In that case there isn't the Church at all... that's quite a serious set of heretics!)

Another line from one of the students, while offering a scriptural passage as a proof of the Church being 'apostolic':
"You are Peter and on this rock, I give you the key!"
(Two in one: rock and key... quite rocking!)

Exam invigilation

Am truly thrilled to have applied for and got the opportunity to invigilate during the ongoing university exams.  The very feeling of being amidst young people, especially in one of their most tense and anxious moments of student life, and being there as a friend, a helper and someone who can ease all that cramping, even if it is just a little... that's great. 

Apart from the adventure this morning, it has been a thrilling experience of being exactly that helper.  It has also been a great source of amusement.  Watching them come in the hall or room, all tensed and some not even breathing and then leave the hall with a sense of achievement and relief;  seeing them break into a smile when offered with a kind suggestion or a timely help or even a simple smile;  observing the variety of ways in which they hold the pen while writing (quite a few write holding the pen straight and their wrist bent 90!);  the fear of having forgotten their ID card or their exam candidate number or messing up the adhesive slip, right in the beginning of the exam, being alleviated by a simple gentle assurance "No worry, we'll help you with that!" and the relief that floods their face;  the 'wonder' at a couple of youngsters who walked in the exam hall and coolly ask for a pen straight away, for they had forgotten to bring one!  or at that youngster who called out for me today to ask, "What's the date?"  Then there are the multiple ways in which they sit: some as stiff as an arrow, others literally with their head on the writing desk, some at a weird angle or twist of their body, some with their feet stretched to the maximum or folded or one flung over the other or under their bottom. 

The amusement only adding to the thrill of putting them at ease and making them feel comfortable...! 

Romanian mosquito

Heard a story about a Romanian mosquito today...

Invigilating an exam hall of 241 students this morning was quite an adventure!  Ultimately had to report and pull up one youngster who had notes on him all along.  Initially I made sure that he was being watched.  But he continued peeking at the notes tucked in his jacket sleeve.  Then under the pretext of the hall already being warm, got him to hand me his jacket.  He did and I was pretty sure with that move I had taken away his means of cheating.  By this time, he knew that I knew!  Within 15 minutes I again noticed him fiddling with his shoe.  Very soon I saw him with (another?) note.  Going against all instructions and regulations I went upto him and gently whispered to him, "Either you stop it or hand it to me!"  From his indication, I gathered he would not resort to it again.  By this time I had already informed the supervisor of the hall that I was suspicious of him. 

No sooner I moved away from him, he was at it again!  This time round I informed the supervisor that he certainly had notes on him and that he knew that I was aware, and that he was carrying on referring to them, in spite of my gentle verbal warning.  I was told to keep a close eye on him.  Towards the end of the two hour exam I was asked to inform him to stay back after the exam.  I left an official note on his desk to stay hack after the exam.  An official from the student administration was there by the end. She asked me what happened and I was given a form to fill up.  The student was then interviewed and she found the notes exactly where I told her he had it: in his left shoe. 

After the whole episode, it took almost an hour for me to get over it.  I was feeling bad for having done it.  Not that I regretted doing it - but just that the lad seemed so desperate to copy.  I know not what action would be taken against him.  None in the exam invigilation team or the student administration were sure.  "It was not our job," they said, "to worry about the end of the process."  They were very impressed by my work in that large hall, especially this particular case - but I told them, it was no merit!  In fact, I said I was sorry for having to do it. None-the-less I did it - and would do it again, if necessary.  My reasoning was simple: Going against regulations, I warned him twice (the latter being direct and verbal).  In spite of that if he was brazen about the act, he should also be ready for the consequences.  He needed help and I did help him - first by trying to prevent him, then by directly telling him and finally by making him accountable. 

And yes, the story he tried to tell me when I led him to the toilet, halfway through the exam... "If you saw me scratching my wrist, that was because I was recently on a trip to Romania and there a mosquito bit me.  That's what was itching me!"  Well, I hope he did not tell the Admin officer that the same Romanian mosquito wrote and put that slip of paper in his sleeve or shoe too!  

The Akedah

Before delving into the whole 'philosophy' of the Akedah (the binding of Isaac), I thought it would be a good exercise to ask myself what was the purpose of including that incident in the Bible. 

Among the many reasons that my mind could come up with, the one that was a bit weird but different was the following.  The test of Abraham's faith was not to prove God's righteousness or graciousness.  The demand to sacrifice his only son, was for Abraham a test for himself and others.  God actually has very little to do in this whole scenario.  This is the only sensible way of interpreting not just the whole episode but also responding to why the 'test' at all.  It was basically for others to know Abraham better.  That's it, and nothing more. 

The simple analogy that I can think of is the corresponding exams and tests we have in schools and colleges.  The one who does the evaluation is hardly known or remembered.  What counts is the score.  The recorded score is the one by which everyone comes to know of the academic 'qualifications' of the student; but they only serve as an introduction, not a conclusive explanation.  When one applies for a job, the certificates and marks are considered because they are a way of assessing the candidate.  However, once on the job, the marks barely matter; what one actually does is the criterion.  So one might have a very high mark, but if the person is unable to really work, he or she may soon find himself or herself, looking for a new job! 

The akedah is therefore for me a mere introduction of Abraham to someone who would not know him.  But once you know Abraham, from the various other aspects and experiences, the initial introduction hardly matters.  

Exam dilemmas

Got this amusing message on whatsapp today from an old school mate.  Posted on the class group, it reminded us of the awkward and very idiotic moments during days of exams...

• When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it!
• When a fellow student asks for a graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required.
• When the invigilator says jump question 6, we will rectify it later, but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering.
• When you see people are busy using the geometry box gadgets and you are wondering what is going on.
• When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36.5% and your answer was 1800!
• When the other students asked for 4-5 additional answer sheets and you had two pages empty in the main answer sheet! 

Had a good laugh recalling those days and moments.

On friendship

There is this lovely scene in the movie '3 idiots' wherein the two friends race to the college noticeboard to check the exam results. Knowing their academic capabilities, they start to check the list from the bottom.  They find their names right at the bottom of the list.  They are naturally sad. They do not find the third friend's name on the list.
Narration:

We were sad. Not because we got the last marks, but because our friend had failed.

Searching for their third friend's marks, they are then shocked to see that he has topped the class!
Narration:

That day we learnt a lesson in human behaviour. If a friend fails, it hurts. But if your friend comes first, then it hurts more!

Out of pity

A student of theology at KJC, Bangalore once did very poorly in his exam.  Once he received his marks he was not sure out of how much was his score and so he approached the professor and asked him, "Out of what score did I get secure these marks?" The professor replied, "Out of pity!"

When shall I come again?

The last week there were a couple of senior confreres here in the Provincial house from different places for a couple of meetings.  It was nice hearing from them amusing stories and incidents of the past, especially those of their younger days.

Here's one such event: Fr Lens was on the staff of KJC, Bangalore and was teaching patrology.  He was stern and one particular student, C.J. Francis, failed his oral exam.  He had to appear again after his holidays and he did.  This time after the exam was over, Francis asked Fr Lens, "When shall I come again, Fr?"

Two parts of the Bible... anyone?

The exam was about the course, Introduction to the Bible and so was a generic question asking the students to give a brief description about the Bible.  Here's one of the answers:

The Roman Catholic Bible has two parts: Dei Verbum and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  

Here's the icing on the cake:
The student is a Seminarian,
nearing the completion of his first year of Philosophical studies! 

A sample preview

Locate anything wrong with the following questions:

• How's the curry? Is it tasty? Has it become too spicy? Is the salt enough? Hope it is not too oily. 
• What about the vegetable? Do you like it? Is it your favourite one? It goes well with plain rice. 
• I hope the rice is not over-boiled. Is it? Do you like the type of rice? 

Anything wrong? Well, now read the following statements:

• I went home last summer. It was hot. There are a lot of trees in the garden. 
• I watched the movie last night. There are many curries and fruits. 
• The plate is made of steel. It was round and hard. 

Well, if the questions were clear, then I suppose the above answers too are! Yeah, these are the answers to the above set of questions... don't worry which order!

The best part, is in reality, there is no food served at all. There is only an empty plate set before you! I suppose that being the fact, getting the 'right' answers is a great achievement!

Welcome to the final year comprehensive exam of the B.Ph.! 

Teaching - Marks assured!

Teaching philosophy - or for that matter, any subject - to a group of seminarians is perhaps the most unrewarding task one can engage oneself in (with the exception of what benefits one derives personally from the effort one makes, not much can be expected of the students). Most of the students 'go through' the curriculum only and only because it stands between them and ordination.  If this stage were to be side-tracked in any legal way, there would hardly be a handful choosing to study at all!

So I'm thinking of  a proposal:
Offer students the choice of earning 45 marks (40 being the pass mark) by merely opting out of the class. That would mean they need not attend classes, no assignments, no reading requirements and no tests and final exam either.  The alternative is to stay in class, go through the grind of study, fulfill enough and more requirements of the course and EARN the 40 marks, or more as per one's effort. Of course, prior to making this proposal, I first need to assure and promise them that there would be no repercussions, whatsoever, from anyone or any quarter at all, for the choice they make.  That's primarily to put to rest the conviction that most of them carry about in their heads that passing in the exam and subservience are two requirements for promotion to the next level of formation.  So if this is assured, then only those who are really interested in LEARNING, will stick on. Oh what a joy will such a learning - and teaching - be!  

Future leaders of the Church!

Today I finished correcting the class test answer papers of the first years of Ancient Western Philosophy.  I realised that very many of them (totally 40) have basically understood nothing ... literally, nothing of what I have been teaching for the past whole semester.

I therefore wonder, if after such detailed and painstaking effort they do not understand no basic and simple facts of philosophy (at least common sense matters??), how much and what exactly do they understand about the Bible and faith?  Will their grasp and presentation of their faith, doctrines, experience be anything sensible to anyone?

If expression was a hurdle I'd understand, but what if basic understanding itself is so faulty that there is not even one sentence which makes sense? The question is something and the answer is something else altogether!  At times it is a repeat of Hanuman carrying the whole mountain back to Rama when he is unable to identify the specific herbal plant: the whole chapter is there (including the birthplace and works of the philosoher) when all that is asked is one simple idea or a critique of one particular idea of the philosopher.  At times there is only the question repeated... over and over again, with the only difference that the word order is changed (don't ask me if there is any sense in those sentences!).  Sometimes there is only blank space!

Textual or Academic studies is difficult, I know and am willing to accept. But basic learning? Common sense or simple ordinary thought?  Add to that, the 'decision' or will to become leaders of the Church!! 

English exam in summer!

The English answer papers are on my table... Here's a sneak peek (I'll try to be as verbatim as possible, unless the computer makes the changes automatically!):

Combine the two sentences using a conjunction

• He was punished. He was guilty. [A] He was punished therefore he was guilty. 
• I will come. I am not ill. [A] Though I am not ill, I will come. [another answer] I will come so I am not ill. 
• He has been wounded. He was cheerful. [A] He has been wonded because he remained cheerful. 

Write this in a proper question form: You went to Kolkata in February?

• When did you go to Kolkata in february? 
• in which mounth you go kolkata? 
• You went to kolkata on the february?

Sorrowy to here about it. (Let me 'translate' that for you: It is a response to a death news! And I suppose he meant, 'Sorry to hear about it').

Catch me so that you can. (The statement was: Catch me _____ you can)


Here are some sample sentences from the section which said: Write a sensible paragraph (only 60-70 words) on 'Summer season':

• In the Lent season we can know how the sun it is. 
• lent season begins in lent season. 
• summer season is very beautyful spring.
• when I see a summer season, firest of all i remember my childhood mamaries...
• I enjoy my summer holyday with my borthers... 

A student wrote a string of words related to summer, one below the other.  I couldn't make out why would he write mere words, till I read my own instruction for the umpteenth time... this time trying to see how he would have read it ... (only 60-70 words)! 

Human sexuality ... gone to the dogs!

I finished correcting my Anthropology answer papers of the second year students. I'm happy, in general with their performance.  Most of them got the essential points right and they did convey it in a very synthetic and systematic manner.  However, a couple of them were all hotch-potch!  One in particular, seems to be totally way off the mark...

There was a question asking them to present a synthetic understanding of human sexuality in ten sentences.  And here's one of the points he wrote:

A man cannot live without woman. man can not control his sexual feelings but woman can control her sexual feelings. woman can recognise the person who is sexual person and who is not.  

As if that was not enough, here's the next point:

... human sexuality is making relation with everyone not only particular person but with other human being and animals. (emphasis added)

That'd be anthropology gone to the dogs! 

French Revolution in Japan!

The day before yesterday we began our semester exams for the Brothers. Fr Wilson was taking his exam for Contemporary Western Philosophy and here's his interaction with one of the students:

Where did the French Revolution take place? 
In Japan. 
Are you sure? 
Eh... in India? 
French Revolution, in India? 
No, no... in France! 

Now you know why French revolution took so long! 

Where's the answer?

During my last MA exam, after one hour of the commencement of the exam, the supervisor came and told the invigilators, to let the students 'free' - everyone in the Indian nation would know what that means!  He also instructed them to close all the doors and windows of the verandah side... just in case some squad or some higher authority walks in. I feared that it would be real chaos. Luckily everyone was silently at their work - only there was an initial scramble for books and slips. After a couple of minutes everyone was writing the answers ... from the books or pieces of paper they had carried in.  I thanked my stars that none was talking or dictating answers!  The best was yet to come. Half an hour after this, one lady beside me, writing some different subject, turned to the one behind her and pointing to a particular page in a book, desperately asked, "Is this the answer to the question or is there some other answer?" Not only did she not study, but she did not even know from where to copy the right answer!  

Exam hall ruckus

Today was the second exam and another kind of experience... about half way through the exam the invigilator started to get serious about the blatant copying being done by some in the hall.  When he tried to pull away the bits of paper, the man protested and pushed his hands away. Unable to do anything, the young invigilator reported the matter to his senior supervisor, who came and tried to calm tempers but certainly was in no mood to call the spade a spade.  But things kept escalating, with one or the other or very many in unison protesting the invigilators attempts to prevent them from copying!  Imagine!  An examination and invigilators are being hassled for doing their duty.  Those claiming their 'birthright' (or bullshit right?) to copy created enough ruckus that neither they wrote anything nor did they permit a few of us sincerely trying to write the exam. Luckily I was well prepared for the exam and did well. Nonetheless I was tempted very strongly to intervene at one or two intervals, but restrained myself because I found myself getting too worked up and forgetting what I was supposed to write.

Another three more exams to write... looking forward to what new experiences await in the exam hall then! 

No slips?!

On my first day of my MA exams, it was a real experience.  I was the only one in the hall of 39 of us who was not busy juggling slips of paper and books, brought in illegally to copy!  Practically everyone, including the ladies and the elderly gentlemen (they were the worst for this), had brought in bits of paper, some handwritten, others micro-xeroxed (this seems to be the profit making business of exam seasons with the photocopiers!), some blatantly opening the resource books themselves! The height of this drama unfolding around me, was when the invigilator approached me about half an hour before closing time and in a soft voice asked me, "Didn't you bring any slips?" I merely smiled and said, I didn't want to.  He was quite surprised.  So much for honesty!

And you might ask how come I knew about all the others in the hall... well, I was not at all prepared for the exam myself.  Of the five questions I was supposed to answer, I knew the answers only for two of them (but that didn't prevent me from attempting the rest!).  Looks like I wrote more sensible stuff here in this post than for a couple of the answers in the answer sheet that day. 

Down memory lane

On my way back from Vizag today we saw several children come out of their exam centres and return home after their examination for the day (at about noon time).  We realised they are the tenth standard students writing their public exams.  I remembered that it was exactly twenty years ago that I wrote my X standard exams.

Whew... long long time! I remember well that our centre was in St Theresa's School. The same school where I began my schooling before moving to Don Bosco.  Apart from doing well in those exams, I don't remember much of the whole high tension 'drama' - those days X standard exams were considered something akin to the final judgement itself! 

Eyer?

The best I've come across so far in my correction of the English answer papers of the second course students (of Philosophy!) is the following...

Guess what is this: EYER

Anyone?? Atleast make an attempt...

Well, that's the spelling for 'year'!  Perhaps the Brother should have been born in the Solomon Islands. He'd have surely felt at home!