Guard your compassion

 Here's the extract of the letter (dated 23 July 2026) written by Amol Palekar addressed to the Gen-Z students protesting at Jantar Mantar over the last few days.  I liked especially the concluding words of encouragement: 

Take care of one another. Guard your compassion and your hope.  Do not allow anger to harden into hatred.  Stand firm.  Walk forward without bitterness, without fear and without apology. 

A little help, please

Five-year old Jack was in the kitchen as his mother made supper.  She asked him to go into the store-room (the place where much of the provisions were stored) and get her a can of tomato soup. But li'l Jack didn't want to go in alone there and cried: "It's dark in there and I'm scared, Mamma" 

She asked again, and he persisted in his refusal. Finally she said, "Jack, look… there is nothing to fear in going to that store-room. Jesus will be in there, with you…" 

 The constant request and this assurance made Jack to walk hesitantly to the door and slowly open it. He peeked inside, saw it was dark, got all frightened and started to leave… … when all at once an idea came, and he said: "Jesus, if you're in there, would you, please, hand me that can of tomato soup?!"

The anecdote ends here.

But just to add a twist... Jack does get his request fulfilled and he gets a can of the soup, standing at the door. He is ecstatic. Runs back to the kitchen clutching the can like a trophy. And tells his mum what happened. What would mum have said?

Playing the victim

 I'm beginning to see that very many times, quite a few of us, prefer to wallow in pity and continue playing the victim, rather than get ourselves out of that situation and move on.  We'd prefer to keep the wounds fresh and painful, rather than get them healed. 

I guess it is a kind of adrenaline that keeps us going.  Perhaps because we are frightened that there'd be nothing else that will keep us active.  Or perhaps that there are other deeper and more serious wounds that these external wounds camouflage.  Or it could be that we just do not want to move on.  

Not sure if that's called maturity! But it certainly has much to do with it.  

To ask or take up help when offered (from competent and capable people); rather than act strong.

To accept, acknowledge that not everything is known to me; apparently, about myself! 

To get out of one's comfort zones... places, people, thoughts, words, discussions, ambience... that make me feel I'm ok, what I've said and done is right, without actually giving myself another re-look.  

Asking myself: what am I really afraid of? 

The closed door

The gospel of the day begins with the scene of the closed doors.  The disciples, afraid of the Jews, are behind closed doors.  The scene then turns to Jesus appearing to them and the display of his wounds to them. 

I have another version of this whole episode.  Most the disciples, for fear, chose to stay behind the closed doors.  Only a few dared go out and attempt to do the good they could.  Their reasoning: If we, as the closest to Jesus feel so distraught, how much more will those who felt close to Jesus but did not have the privilege of knowing him as intimately as we did, feel. 

So they dared out to seek those confused and frightened, just as they themselves, and offer the little consolation they could.  Perhaps, in strengthening them, they would be strengthened themselves.  Moreover they knew well that Jesus would have done the same.  So they ventured out, not overcoming their fear, but in spite of their fears!  They chose to risk the open, rather than let fear feed on them within closed doors.   

In the meantime, Jesus appears to those huddled indoors.  And after a while when those few who had gone out return, those who saw the risen Lord narrate all that happened to them.  And as they narrate the conversation they had with Jesus, they particularly get enlightened about the words of Jesus, "Blessed are those who have not seen, but yet believe!"  Those who had dared out then narrate how they were strengthened as they spend time with others similarly distraught and confused.  Without seeing the tongues of fire, they too had received the Holy Spirit!  

The crippling fear

The Gospel of the second Sunday of Easter opens with these lines:

...the doors were closed, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. 

The story today, across the world is no different!  Doors are today closed.  Those outside are not permitted in.  Those inside do not intend to go out!  Then, it was the fear of the Jews.  Today it is the fear of the virus.  In those days, at least one knew when there was a knock on the door, who it was.  Today even with the doors closed there in no guarantee that the virus can be held out.  But the fear is the same!  The same mortal fear. 

This morning as I heard the priest preach about how Jesus is the strength and power; the disciples not recognising the Lord with them; the continued presence of Jesus with us in the Eucharist and all that stuff... I found myself smiling.  He is one in the community who is most frightened of the virus!  While preaching the sermon, he had totally distanced himself from the fear of the disciples and had subsequently found their trembling senseless.  A safe third person observant stand.  His eloquence in preaching about the power of Jesus and his strengthening presence was merely for the disciples. 

If only he were to place himself in the shoes of the disciples and seen how what he spoke, so convincingly about Jesus' presence, is applicable and meaningful to oneself too, especially today...!  

Certain hope

We do so many things in life, some of which are clearly geared towards a far distant dream.  We are hopeful and in a sense sure of achieving that dream - we wouldn't be spending all that time and energy if we were not 'so sure'.  However, not everything has to go our way either.  Things may go haywire and our sustained and years of effort may be totally lost, in view of the intended purpose.  It certainly causes pain and heartache. But I think what causes real pain and suffering is when you realize that the effort is 'wasted' not because it was worthless or you failed, but for some silly and absolutely ridiculous reason as your caste, or religion, place of birth, or some else's like or dislike. How to face angst? Helpless anger?

To see a life, especially a young promising and enthusiastic life, killed in some senseless violence.   To see an activist being murdered for fighting what everyone knows is a just cause.  To hear of a whole family shattered by the rape of a young daughter, only because they belonged to a particular caste, or religion or section of society.  To come to know of a friend who has been denied promotion or benefits due to him only on account of him being of a different group than the one in authority... all of this puts to question the notion of having a dream, slogging it out for it... If all one works for can be wiped off by something so trivial and for no reason, then why strain? 

Yet we do!  We invest our time and energy in our plans.  We slog it out for our dreams.  We plan for years ahead of us.  We hope! If we let doubts or fears grow, we'd not be able to do anything at all! 

(But merely having hope is like walking carefully through a minefield - hoping that we do not step on one!  As long as I'm not the one stepping on, everything is fine.  Doing something about the minefield itself is an act of courage.)  

Of talents and relationships

The gospel reading of the day, which speaks of talents, when viewed from another perspective offers a deep insight.  While on the surface it could be seen as one utilising all God's gifts and the corresponding reward/punishment for doing so.  However, prior to the utilisation of the gifts, if one is to review the relationship of the stewards to the Master, one realises the stark difference.  The last steward literally feared the master.  This is not said so of the other two.  Perhaps they too feared the master but not as much as the third one.  The other two had a more liberating and deeper relationship with the master.  They did not feel frightened of taking a risk in using the talents.

It occurred to me that most of us Catholics are like the third steward.  We feel attached to the master, not by love but more by fear.  It is fear of God that prompts us to say or do things the way we do.  Those few who really are inspired more by the love than the fear (reverence?) of/for God, are those who live their lives to the full.  They take risks, they dare, feel free and liberated because they trust in the love of the Father.  Just like a child they are playful and at ease in the presence of the father.  They do not have to work 'hard' to impress him, for they know that the father loves them! 

Competence vs trust

Peter was a fisherman, right? He wasn't one of the tax collectors or physicians.  So naturally he should be the one most used to and at home with water, the sea and all that.  However, it struck me that when he asked to walk on water and begins to sink, he calls out to Jesus to 'save him'.  Really?  Being a fisherman he would surely know to swim.  Furthermore the boat was not too far away. He certainly could have made it to the boat.  Why then did he call out for help?  That too from Jesus, a carpenter?

I guess, it has something to do with trust.  Profession or competence does not count. What does matter in moments of great trouble is the trust that I have in the other person.  It is the same trust that makes a frightened child reach out for its mother or father, in case of a fire, rather than a fire-fighter.  Peter's plea for help is typically one of a frightened child.  At that moment of anguish, the child knows not how competent or incompetent the parent is.  All that the child knows is that the parent will not abandon him or her, no matter what.  And that's all that matters.

The trouble with most of us, especially those of us who claim to be close to God and working for His cause, is that we are surely working for His Kingdom but we often forget him.  We work for God but fail to see God and subsequently grow in trust and faith.

Fearing imagination

No sooner did I complete reading the first reading of the Mass then it did strike me that the situation therein was not very different from the present situation of the West.  The reading from the book of Exodus, speaks of the fear among the Egyptians of the growing number of Israelites.  

The situation today of the West too is similar.  In the context of the immigrants and migrants, there is a sense of 'fear' among the residents that they would be overrun by these 'outsiders' sooner or later.  Hence the animosity, anger, protests, ill-treatment... The strange but true fact of human nature - then and now - is that when I fear, I start oppressing the other.  Rather than tackle the fear within me, I begin to make others frightened of me!  

The gospel offered very mixed and strange response to this dilemma: those of the household shall become enemies;  whoever loves life will lose it...; whoever receives you, receives me...; whoever gives a cup of cold water to these little ones....  Interestingly it does not mention of fear.  

I guess there is a logic in the statement that fear clouds clear thinking. 

The stranger

The first reading of the day, wherein a lady not only offers hospitality to the prophet Elisha but eventually makes room for him in her house, stands in stark contrast to the situation in the West today.  In the light of the immigration crisis there is a sizeable population in the 'developed countries' who do not want 'foreigners' in the land, except when they bring in revenue.  If they arrive as dependents, then they are not welcome!

Take for instance, Australia.  It takes in approximately 13,000 immigrants every year.  Given the size of the country and its terrain, even if that number were tripled it would still be able to accommodate them all. But it would not!  Well even I am not for immigration.  But for different reasons.  Why should a person be forced to move out of his own place, his home, his land?  Only wanderers love roaming around.  For most, we human beings like to get back home at the end of the day... even if that day is stretched to months or years.  So rather than 'rehabilitate', help make their homes and countries a safe place where they can continue to live.  They may not have the luxury and the comfort of another nation, but what greater place on earth than 'home'.

While hosting nations and citizens have genuine concerns about those coming into their country.  Some of them are worth discussing and do cause inconvenience to all involved.  However, most of the reasons cited by those against 'non-natives' are based on undue fear and heightened selfishness of a few.  The gospel of the day is then a challenge to each one of us to move out of ourselves, to risk, to be generous and see the world as more and beyond oneself.

Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and whoever receives a righteous man because he is righteous will receive a righteous man's reward. And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because he is a disciple--amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward. 

Facing fears

Reflection for April 29 (Jesus walks on the lake)

The disciples travelling by boat are frightened of the 'ghost' walking on the lake. Each of us is frightened of our own 'ghosts'. Fear is a good thing; it keeps us active and agile. But when there is excess of it, fear paralyses us. It is in such crippling fears that the Lord helps us. It is not through some magic that He does this. Rather He empowers us with His presence: “It is I. Do not be afraid.” We only need to truly feel His presence for any fear to depart from us. Just like a child or a pet, even though it feels frightened of darkness or strangers, feels emboldened in the presence of a loved one, Jesus builds up our strength. With Him at our side the battle has only begun. To expect Him to fight our battles is laziness. To think that that I alone can do it is foolishness. To feel His presence and face fears is wisdom.

Do not be afraid

Reflection for April 17

“Do not be afraid...”

Jesus after His resurrection appears to several people, either individuals or in small groups. In each of these instances, He reassures them and strengthens their faith. For each of those members He entrusts a mission. It is not a hurried command, rather a gentle reminder of what was already said during his ministry.

For those who had the fortune to see Jesus after His resurrection, it was a life-changing experience. Most of these people already had been with Jesus during his lifetime, but to see Him again after resurrection was a great boost to their spirit. Every word of His is now treated with great care and respect. Everyone is in awe and great thrill.

Post-resurrection, the faith of the apostles and the disciples takes a new turn. It is filled with great enthusiasm and a certain thrill. We Christians when referred to as an 'Alleluia people' means exactly that have and radiate a charm, a divine flame of enthusiasm and thrill. All of this is not because we have seen a dead man come to life, but because we are enveloped by Jesus and His spirit is our strength.

Depth

From my little experience of dealing with people of UK, I suspect there is an element of fear and anxiety underlying any attempt to touch upon deep personal matters. Not that elsewhere people go about shouting their inner feelings and emotions in the street.  But in comparison, there seems to be a sort of block, a sort of veil which everyone is comfortable with.

The few who do dare speak of their inner turmoils and share their feelings are often considered and treated as traditionalists or religious - someone to be kept away from!  Most consider it fashionable and modern to be 'trendy', to be superfluous.  Thus the avoidance of shared silence, deep intimate relationships, that extra effort to retain relationships, conversations involving feelings (rather than merely intellectual stuff or swearing), sharing of personal space and emotions... A note on silence: it is not that people appreciate silence. They do - that too fiercely. It is more as a tool to close up oneself, shutting out others, rather than shared silence.

I'm not judging, neither the people nor the situation, but merely trying to understand.  Certainly, it is not the case that every person or situation is in this state - but a sort of general ambiance.  Surely there must be several reasons for such an ambiance to be created.  Wonder what could be the predominant ones that led to this state of affairs.  Or I may be reading the signs differently.  Possible.

Online Trolls

Reading news online has been a habit since long.  Earlier I used to read also the comments that would be posted below the news article. This was a continued habit from reading the 'letters to the editor' which appeared in the print version.  However, I stopped reading the comments a few years since.  Purely for the venom they spit and for the hatred with which they utter words.  I've long been convinced that these comments were purposely posted by appointed people, just to tarnish the image of anything worthwhile.  Most often there would not be any rhyme or reason for their hateful tirade.

Yesterday there was an article in The Times (UK) by a person describing the online (malign) campaign of the ruling party BJP in India.  A similar one appeared in The Guardian on Dec. 27, 2016. Firstpost (dated Dec. 28, 2016) begins thus

It's something that will eventually catch up with you. From disparaging and vituperative remarks to disgusting sexual innuendos, rape and death threats, hateful memes and an unapologetic and arrogant attitude, trolling is a routine affair these days. There is hardly any originality in it anymore. 

But when the ruling government of a democracy carefully constructs, contrives and calibrates a social media culture where dissent towards a leader or an ideology or even a party is reciprocated in the worst possible manner, it is a matter of extreme worry and it becomes obligatory to initiate a dialogue and debate and especially when it becomes part of our daily existence.

It confirms my view that there is a systematic hijacking of the social media and the internet open polls by political parties for backing their sinister motives and worse, silencing the democratic voice of dissent. A clever move indeed but a very dangerous one.  No opinion contrary to the ruling party is spared.  If the person speaking against any policy or decision of the party is a woman, the text is at times very nasty.  Every news or incident, political or not, is somehow commented upon to praise the party of choice and shower abuses on anyone dissenting.

People of India are still very gullible when it comes to having convictions and forming opinions. They'd rather go with the majority than stand alone or take a stand against.  In such a context to sway one's opinion in someone's favour, such smear campaigns work extremely well.

Fear of Mercy

This year the Church commemorates the year of mercy.  However, one strange feeling crept over me today as I listened to someone helping another person with her troubles in life.  Perhaps there is also a psychological dimension to it.  The fact is that mercy is feared!

Just like love can cut through any hard heartened person and transform him or her into another person altogether, experience of mercy really touches the core of a person.

Moreover it is an expression of strength without being showy about it.  Though it apparently seems like cowardice and inability, mercy is not possible for the weak.  Most people however, would like to 'appear' strong rather than truly 'be' strong.  Gentleness and meekness are not considered by the general public as virtues. Hence a facade of 'strong' feelings and expressions.  

Defining sin/love

While at Karunapuram, Puma one day approached me asked, "Does God get offended by our sins?" I immediately replied, "That's up to Him. If He wants to, He will. If not, He won't."  His next question was ready. "Then why confess?" As I reflected, an analogy came to my mind, especially in the context of that day's reading where Jesus meets and praises the woman at Peter's home.

One day I scold and say bad words to ...

1. a drunkard on the road
2. my good friend.
3. my own mother. 

Am I then comfortable or does my conscience prick?  If the latter then in which instance haunts me?  It all depends on my relationship with that person. Naturally, I'll feel more guilty and ashamed of raising my voice against my mother, than in the other two instances.  The more I love, the more I feel... It is also because somewhere deep within us we prefer to love than harbor guilt, shame, fear, hatred or envy.  I therefore ask forgiveness from God because I love him and wish to savour that love better.

"Her many sins are forgiven, because she has loved much!"

Growing in reality... genuinely

Had a long sitting for the Salesian Social Forum the whole day.  Honestly it was not what I really expected it to be.  Today's whole day was dedicated to discussion on the statutes and code of ethical practices.  We hardly discussed anything else.

I joined the SSF last year, when Fr TD John had briefed me about the same during one of his visits to Karunapuram. At that point I already had a strong feeling that the formation process I was involved in was far removed from reality and honestly needed an overhaul.  For that I personally needed an overhaul!!  Therefore I volunteered to widen my own horizons, grow more grounded and genuine before I assist others in their formation process. I was honestly exploring.

However, there was one thing that Fr George Kollashany stated sometime in the beginning of the discussions, right in the morning which kept ringing in my ears all day long.  He was trying to "define" our spontaneous group of SSF.  He basically asked if I was afraid to venture out, take initiatives on my own for something I deeply feel is truthful, but lack support? He cited this group as the support bank that one could fall back upon. But basically it was a personal challenge:  Am I questioning myself with regard to the radicality of the gospel?  Am I willing to have my whole inner world topple?  In turn am I ready to shake the existing structures, more out of my conviction, than my convenience, and that too for a truly noble cause?

Fear what?

Read an interesting post yesterday as I was glancing through some content on the net.  Felt like it is addressing me and challenging me to something.  Surely didn't need this in the situation I presently find myself in.  Very disturbing!

When most of us fear failure, we walk away from our boldest ideas. Instead of being original, we play it safe, selling conventional products and familiar services. But great entrepreneurs have a different response to the fear of failure. Yes, they’re afraid of failing, but they’re even more afraid of failing to try.

Read the whole post here.

It is said in the context of entrepreneurs and business people who struck gold - of course, after hitting dust and rock bottom too!  However, the idea of 'playing it safe' resonates with the notion of 'comfort zones'.

Courage or Cowardice

The suicide of my batch mate set off a weird conversation with another friend yesterday night.  When the latter heard that the guy had committed suicide, he exclaimed, "What a courageous guy!" Truly I was surprised.  I asked him what is courageous about committing suicide?  His angle was that normal people cannot dare touch their own lives.  It really takes a lot of grit and courage to commit suicide.

Perhaps.  But I believe that only the act of dying can be called 'courageous'. But everything else is actually a sign of cowardice!  If someone is committing suicide and would be labelled courageous, then he or she should adopt a really gruesome means of ending one's life.  That I doubt will ever happen.  However, basically suicidal tendencies are a sign of ailment and they need help.  Unfortunately by the time the diagnosis is done, life is done away with!

Maybe all the unfortunate who reach the decision of committing suicide, should join the army and go to the frontlines or enroll themselves in some daredevil sports where risk of life is very high.  At least they'll die gloriously - if at all there is any glory in taking one's own life! Anyway all these are thoughts and talks of those who are too busy living... God alone knows what's really going on in the mind and life of the one who resorts to such 'deadly' acts.

Leadership

Who is normally elected as leader - of a rather sensible and mature group?
(Just a few of the essential characteristics in a context where those with neither brains nor balls get elected!)

• A person of certain moral standing, capable of living an authentic life of witness. 
• One who has both, the humility to ask for help and the courage to demand responsibilities/duties be fulfilled by its members. 
• One who can consult as well as take sound decisions, and stand by them. 
• One who can demand privileges for the group when rightfully deserving, on the one hand and on the other, pull up its members for falling below certain accepted standards. 
• One who is respectful towards all but frightened of none but God. 

What if some of these or none of these are taken into consideration when election of a leader?  I suppose, it goes without saying the poor quality of leadership and in a sense, the level of maturity of the group.