Thanksgiving rather than a petition

 Lord, stay with us! 

This was the theme of our recollection talk yesterday.  Drawing it sensibly from the passage of the Emmaus story and the numerous instances in the Bible, the talk highlighted the importance of this short but effective prayer: Lord, stay with us! Also a very very Salesian theme (accompaniment!). 

The talk also included the narration of an incident in the life of Mahatma Gandhi.  He was once travelling by train to Bhuvaneshwar to attend a rally.  He chose to travel in the general compartment, packed with people. Those accompanying him and others who knew him offered him a seat in that packed compartment.  A bulky man too entered soon after and noticed the extra space for this 'skinny man' - people out of respect dared not to cramp Gandhi and hence had made extra space for him.  This hefty man, not recognising Gandhi, was infact going to the same place to listen to Gandhi! They did interact a couple of minutes but not much.  Only on reaching the station and noticing the crowd gathered to welcome Gandhi, did he realise that he travelled a long distance beside the very man whom he wished to hear - without knowing and engaging in a conversation! 

Such is also our rapport with God.  While the prayer, 'Stay with us, Lord' is a very genuine and heartfelt prayer, I believe it is not always the right kind of prayer.  I believe, God is ALWAYS with us.  It is we who do not feel his presence.  Hence rather than ask Him to be with us, we ought to pray that we realise and cherish His presence.  From another perspective, more than a petition, the latter attitude or realisation is a prayer of thanksgiving: THANK YOU Lord, for being with me! 

Hospital ministry!

 Yesterday I was in the hospital, not for myself but to assist someone.  Not that I made any special effort or anything to assist the person, but I merely behaved and treated the other as if she was perfectly fine.  

Just the usual chat. Normal everyday topics. Nothing to remind her about the ongoing treatment that necessitated her presence in the hospital the whole day.  

I think the best part was to listen to the other. Just plain listening. Not that I was expected to give any grand remedies or responses, but a simple outpouring - non-judgemental and confidential. 

In short, another day of ministry! 

Ronald Menezes SDB

 Today is the death anniversary of Fr Ronald Menezes, a Salesian Priest from Mumbai.  I was in the same community as he in the year 2003 at Matunga.  I was a student then, studying outside the community or the Salesian educational institutions.  

I remember him for his gentle ways of keeping all of us in the community together.  He was a hard worker and expected everyone also to contribute their mite in keeping the works going on smoothly. One of his most striking features was his enthusiasm. He was always optimistic and enthused about life.  That was really contagious.  Be it among the confreres, the school teachers, people who came to the Shrine, or even the boys in the campus. 

He was always present in his rectors office which was in the school building.  Every school day morning, he would be at the entrance of the primary section greeting children and parents - always in his cassock.  He was such a familiar figure among the tiny tots that one day one of them walked up to him and said, 'Your mummy is at the gate!' Ronnie was shocked.  (His parents were long deceased). Looking at his face the boy realised that he didn't believe him. So the little one took Ronnie's hand and dragged him to the entrance.  And whom does Ronnie see there?  A nun, in a habit!  The little one had linked the 'matching clothes' and figured out that the one in the habit would be the mother of the one in a cassock!

I most appreciated his love and care of the boarders.  We then had nearly 60 boys with us in the Matunga boarding.  And he knew each of the boys, their family background and their strengths and weaknesses.  It was he who warmly exhorted us, three Brothers, to visit the homes of the boys during the holidays.  We went grudgingly.  But that one visit to the homes of the boys, made a big difference for our relationship with the boys.  When the boys returned to the boarding, most of them had a totally different outlook towards us.  They saw us Brothers as friends and relatives, who knew their families, their homes, their real living condition.  They didn't have to put on masks because we knew their real condition, and didn't treat them any different or less because of that.  

Ronnie was also very good in relating to people and roping them in to assist in the various works of the boarding or school.  He was keen that we three Brothers meet him every month.  And he was keen that we keep him abreast of our reading material and progress.  I think that was because he himself was an avid reader.  It was evident from his sermons and reflections.  

Anyway, I was blessed to have him as the Rector of the community when I was in Matunga.  And today, I thank God for him, in a special way.  

Source of significance

In the episode of Don Bosco and Bartholomew Garelli, in the sacristy of the church, which marked the beginning of Don Bosco's work for the poor and abandoned youth, there is a very clear distinction between the way Don Bosco approached the boy and the sacristan. 

For the sacristan the boy was 'useless' unless he was able to serve Mass.  A very utilitarian outlook.  From this perspective the meaning of life is defined only in terms of what I do.  The significance is derived from my achievements.  Hence the emphasis on responsibility, role, position, status, success... 

For Don Bosco, the boy was relevant just for himself.  His significance was his mere existence and presence.  Who I am.  Hence the emphasis on relationship, spirituality, care, concern (for self and others). In this sense, a dimension that I need to grow in, when it comes to viewing others and myself is this: How deeply is this sense of identity rooted in God?   

School days - or holidays - with Fr James

 Fr James has been hanging on to his dear life for almost a week now. His mind is still active, but communication is totally incoherent. So we don't know what exactly is he going through.  

This evening as I was trying to recollect some memories of him, as my headmaster, I barely could remember any.  Very vague images of him walking around the campus and corridors in cassock, him standing and addressing the school assembly on the 'new' stage, him taking social studies for us in class X (his topics were more about his trips and experiences than social!).  But something very clear is his joining us for games during holidays.  

Every summer some of us would be in the school ground morning and evening.  Fr James would join us in the evenings.  If by chance he was gardening then we'd also end up gardening - not because we wanted it, but he got us to do it!! But he would join us for games.  However it struck me, in all those months and years we played, every summer and holiday time, we always played cricket!  There is only twice or thrice in a whole lifetime that I would have played basketball.  And I remember him playing with us (along with Rajiv, the electrician and some brothers).  And then, perhaps a dozen times we would have played football.  Even those football games I remember him, making clever passes, without running much or dodging!  He also played some odd games we played. Like the one with sticks and stones - he still remembers that very fondly!  Then some game with the small rubber ball alone - which Fr Benji never understood! But for the rest (perhaps 98% of the time) we played cricket!  And all that while, not once, do I remember him complaining or trying to coax us to play basketball - which was his favourite. Nor did he belittle our games and playing style. He would correct us if we did a mistake. We also turned to him for final decisions on disputed matters, even though he belonged to one of the teams as a player.  But never did he utter a word moaning or grumbling about anything.  He truly was with us, enjoying the game - even when it was never his favourite games.  

True character

Most often the ones who get noticed and are in the limelight are the 'performers' not the real 'workers'.  Rarely do the ones who work silently and consistently get the recognition and appreciation they deserve.  Today was one such rare occasion. 

Someone who is not renown for his oratory skills or expertise in big matters, but someone who is concerned and caring.  He does not seek for any show or high praises.  He is rather shy and is often looked down by others for his sober character and personality.  But when someone really needs help and a concerned presence beside them, he is the one ready and willing. No one needs to ask him, he senses it and makes himself available - again, silently! 

Happy b'day dear confrere!

Wine turned into water!

Today's Gospel is about Jesus changing water into wine, during the wedding feast at Cana.  This event is considered significant because it marks the first miracle of Jesus in public. 

For someone who has a great trust in God, the act of converting water into wine is a very consoling and confirming theory. But for one who has his or her whole life being tossed about by the winds of change and nothing seems to be going on according to plans or efforts, it is mostly the theory of wine being changed into water! It is not mere pessimism, but an actual experience of fighting against the current.  And despite all the effort and good will that one puts in, the results are the same: wine into water! 

However, I ask myself, is Jesus present at those moments of wine turning into water?  Is it Him who is doing it?  Perhaps, he is waiting for me to change the water back into wine!  Or perhaps water is the new wine (for me!)

Continued presence of the Divine

Speaking of God's continued presence, in the light of Christmas, and more specifically remembering Papa's presence (and all those at home) in my life, am reminded of Rabindranath Tagore's poem from Gitanjalli.  Only yesterday it occurred to me that I had in fact used this poem as my Christmas greeting one year.

SILENT STEPS 

Have you not heard his silent steps?
He comes, comes, ever comes. 

Every moment and every age,
every day and every night
he comes, comes, ever comes. 

Many a song have I sung in many a mood of mind,
but all their notes have always proclaimed,
he comes, comes, ever comes. 

In the fragrant days of sunny April
Through the forest path
he comes, comes, ever comes. 

In the rainy gloom of July nights
on the thundering chariot of clouds
he comes, comes, ever comes. 

In sorrow after sorrow,
it is his steps that press upon my heart,
and it is the golden touch of his feet
that makes my joy to shine.

Tagore's experience and expression of God in the everydayness of human life, that too in the most mundane of things, is truly very touching. 

Intervention vs Presence

Back at home, soon after Papa's funeral, while journeying in the car someone asked me if I believed in Divine intervention.  I promptly replied, "No!" And then continued, "I believe in Divine presence." 

It is not as if God 'peeks in' from time to time into this world and in our lives.  And then returns to 'His' Kingdom.  He is ever present and it is this presence that I firmly believe in - even though, most often I am not aware of it or blissfully ignore it. 

Replaying that conversation, I realize I did not think too deep then.  I was more thinking of Papa rather than God.  And for me, the same presence of Papa applied to my life.  For that matter, everyone in the family.  Having physically lived away from them for more than two decades, I've 'cultivated' a form of them in and around me.  That way, I don't feel absence or rue being separated from them. 

This morning as I sat for meditation, I realized, even though we never really celebrated Christmas or gave it much of a thought this year - I did not even know which day of the week it was! - I was living the spirit of Christmas.  

Zaccheus and the rich young man

Kevin offered an interesting insight into the reading of this day.  The passage is that of Zaccheus.  He said, he was wondering what new or different could he share about his passage from the Gospel that we have heard so many times. 

He then said that he noticed something in the structure of the Gospel itself.  The story of Zaccheus follows that of the rich young man and the poor blind man.  The curing of the blind beggar is so to say, sandwiched in between the stories of the two rich men. 

The young man and Zaccheus were both rich in wealth.  Both of them were keen to meet Jesus.  The young man had some idea of how to become better, but that he had already mastered.  He knew not what next.  Zaccheus, on the other hand, knew exactly what he had to do.  He was aware of his corrupt dealings and what needed to be done to shun that burden of guilt.  Once Jesus arrives on the scene, all that Jesus does is give that final push!  The young man, asks for further instructions.  However, on knowing what that entails, he is hesitant to go down that road.  Zaccheus, does not need further instructions.  All that he has is a self-invitation of Jesus to dine with him.  He then rattles off his next mode of living! 

At what stage of life am I?  Am I aware of what the Lord wants of me? If aware, am I willing to undertake that what He wants of me?  Am I conscious of what I need to give up, if I am to follow the Lord?  Am I ready for that? 

I suppose, the same questions arise in the intermediary context of poor blind man.  Another lesson, we can draw from these three stories together is that no matter what our financial situation is, we are always in need!  

With joy

One of the best things a life without heavy (or any!) responsibilities is that there is no strict timetable one has to follow.  I can spend any amount of time for anything I deem fit without worrying if I'll be late for another task.  I realized this while visiting Fr Dan at the hospital the last couple of times in the past week.  He really missed the confreres from his community; but given the state of affairs, it was difficult for them.  Those who can move, have their hands full and hence cannot spend much time with him at the hospital.  Those who are free, cannot move - literally!  They are more or less like him, with the only difference being, they are confined to the bed or the crutches, but at home! 

While with Fr Dan I had nothing else to worry about.  I realized that's the best I could do.  Just being with him when he is lonely and weak.  Also the best I could for others.  I cannot share their workload but can certainly do this bit of being present for one among them.  However, I was with Fr Dan, more as a kind of in appreciation and gratitude for his kindness towards me in the confessional over the past couple of years.  He has been the one I've been to most for my confessions since I came to this place.  He has offered me his support and guidance whenever I approached him and now when he needs some support and I'm able to, why not! With joy! 

Accompaniment

As part of the (personal rare!) reflection on the General Chapter and its preparation, I felt that that youngsters here in the West have a greater need for accompaniment and support than those in the East.  Youngsters here tend to 'gain' their independence soon after their school - more or less at the age of 18.  By then they finish school and mostly move out of their parents house, either for higher education or work.  From then on their dependence on the parents drastically reduces.  The physical distance from home makes a lot of difference.  Even if the children were 'independent' for their personal matters since a couple of years (their sixth form or so), the real moving out of the house, marks a clear separation. 

Unlike this scenario, in the East, children stay with their parents right till they get married. And most even when married continue to live in the same house with the parents (at least the boys).  So in this sense they still enjoy that support of the parents and elders at home.  While in the West, young people learn taking on responsibility early on in life, the danger of them not having anyone to fall back on when in times of crisis, especially if they are far away from home or do not really enjoy a comfortable relationship with their parents, is greater.  It is at these crucial times when they need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear, or a gentle pat or knock (depending), that most youngsters either make or break themselves.  Most rely on friends. But not always.  Social media is perhaps the closest 'friend' most have! 

In this scenario, accompaniment matters most.  It is not mere presence in those crucial or demanding times, but much prior to that!  Only when a young person feels comfortable with someone or looks upto someone as more than a friend, but not necessarily as a parent, that he or she is going to turn back to that person in times of need.  In this sense, accompaniment envelopes presence and demands a prolonged and sustained effort. 

The world through the phone

For quite some time now there is this psychological tendency we are warned of and most often everyone is familiar with: living in the past.  The danger is that we forgot the present and miss out opportunities that the 'here and now' offers. 

Of late, viewing some videos of some significant events or even of accidents, I think we're now well into a different 'time-zone'.  Most people in the video, rather than cherish the event they are privileged to witness firsthand, in person, are busy taking pictures or videos of the event!  So rather than nourish the moment live, they're viewing it through the screen of their smart phones! Earlier there was this craze of getting our photos clicked by others. Today others need not be involved. Each one is a photographer. Each one is the one being photographed.  What about the scenery or the event?  That has relevance only in as far as it is 'captured' - not by me, but by my smartphone! 

Worst case scenarios are where people record an accident or incident and continue doing so rather than reaching out to the victim or standing up to some bullies or goons.  

The marketplace: when good is bad

The gospel of the day witnesses Jesus driving out all those doing business in the temple and claiming the temple to be the presence of His Father (Jn 2: 13-25).

Honestly if Jesus were to take a moment to consider, he would not have been angry on those poor businessmen in the temple.  After all they were earning a livelihood, perhaps some more than what they should earn but still their livelihood.  Surely people coming from afar would not come with animals and birds for the sacrifice. Where on earth are they going to hunt and search for them. And unless they were sacrificed, how would they ever worship Yahweh.  Their whole visit to the temple would be futile.  So these businessmen selling doves and animals and offering exchange currency were just aiding the worship of believers.  They were doing good.  They meant no harm.  Not all of them would have been fleecing the devotees - at least no more than what happens everywhere! 

In our lives too this can happen: where worship in its existing form can actually prevent us from savouring God's presence.  What was initially meant to bring us close to God, and is still good, but actually leading us only to a perceived sense of sanctity and holiness rather than an experience of God.  We can very well "feel" holy while being far from being actually holy. 

Lent is a good time for us to review not just all our vices but our good actions and habits too and see how they help us in our journey towards God.  Most often, it is our good actions that prevent us from experiencing God rather than our vices.  

Wonder

Last night I watched the movie Wonder.  A simple but well narrated story of a boy Auggie Pullman with facial deformities joining the school and facing all odds that come with his facial deformity.  What I liked beside the mainline story is how the movie narrates in parallel the lives of other children around him. There is his own sister who feels left out because all the attention and care is directed towards her brother. She knows too well that this focus of attention on her brother is not malicious or against her, but she also realizes that her own need for warmth and affection is at stake.  Then there is her best friend struggling with similar issues.  There are the bunch of friends of Auggie back in school, each of them has his or her own story running in the background. In all these instances what comes out is the presence of one or some individuals who assure the person struggling that he or she is not alone.  That mere presence and assurance makes the whole difference between making and breaking a life.

The influence of parents is vividly seen in the life of children.  Contrast the attitude of the mother of Jack Hill with that of the parents of Julian... worlds apart.  Children usually grow up to be what their parents in fact are.  The constant love and support that Auggie receives from his own parents is truly noteworthy.

I liked in particular one of the opening quotes of the movie:

Another quote that struck me is the one uttered by the Principal of the school, when interacting with the parents of school bully;

Auggie cannot change the way he looks. But we can change the way we see!

It's a good movie to watch, but both children and caregivers (in our Salesian context) ought to watch it together.

Christmas in flesh and blood

On Christmas eve, I was surprised to see a couple of policemen with a youngster in our community room.  Fr John told me that the youngster was a past pupil of our Salesian school and needed a place for the night. So he'd be with us that night.  I was awake all through the time since I intended to participate in the midnight vigil service in the Parish.  I went down to the community room a couple of times and found the policemen speaking to this youngster.  I gathered he had not committed a crime serious enough for the police to arrest him and lock him up but there must have been something that necessitated their presence.

A while later a member of our community came in and found this whole scene a bit uncomfortable.  Since Fr John had by then left for Mass to some place, he came up to my room asking what was going on downstairs.  I told him as much as I knew.  But he was not in anyway consoled.  So he went down and spoke to the police officers themselves.  He then came up and informed me that the youngster had been caught up in a fight and had no place to go for the night.  Since he mentioned that he was a past pupil of the Salesians and that we would offer some assistance, they came to our place.  I told the confrere that Fr John has said that he'd be staying with us for the night and he also had left a note on the notice board to this effect.

Around 10.30 the policemen left.  I guessed they felt their work done and that the youngster could be left alone.  Our confrere was still quite agitated.  He then 'volunteered' to stay back (rather than go to the Parish for the vigil service as we had earlier thought of) and awake till Fr John returned from wherever he went for Mass.  He advised that I lock my room when I go for Mass, "just in case".

I found it a bit odd, an over-reaction.  Here was a youngster who in blind faith had sought help from the Salesians, after years of finishing his school.  If he was of any real danger, the police would have taken him into custody.  But they didn't.  So why should we be so alarmed.  After all, he was a youngster, may have been drunk or a bit high on drugs or maybe that was his way of talking (as I realised over the past couple of days), in need of shelter for the night.  And most important of all, it was Christmas eve!  We were about the celebrate the birth of a child who had no place of his own, born in someone else's cattle shed, far away from his own hometown, with no family or friends to assist his parents.

The youngster is still with us.  He was falsely accused in a violent incident and was himself a victim. However he is homeless.  He has two little children with a partner, whom he does not trust.  Yesterday he appeared in court and was cleared of all accusations.  He is currently looking for a place to stay, through the social services.  But being Christmas season, most places are full or under-staffed and hence he is still with us.  He is just 25 but talks as if he's an old man, about practically anything and everything!  A few other things are peculiar about him, but I guess they're more to do with the general lifestyle here than about him particularly.  However, I noticed something very noteworthy: Since the past four days he never took any food by himself, even though we asked him to help himself to whatever was available in the kitchen, just next to his room.  If invited he would join us for meals - just the one meal we have in common.  He could not go out for fear that when he returned there'd be no one to let him in.  So he'd sit, watch TV for sometime, smoke a bit in the garden...

I admire Fr John for his patience and trust.  He himself did not know this youngster, nor did the youngster know Fr John.  The young man's fond memories of time with the Salesians is mainly due to another Salesian who is presently not here.  But he was warmly invited to our Christmas meal, he received the same gift as did anyone of us at table that night.  There was no air of suspicion or superiority or condemnation of his present state of life.  No preaching or long lectures - neither in public nor privately!  Just offering him what he needs most at this point: a place to stay.  And while with us, he was as equal a guest as was anyone else!  No partiality! No deferential treatment. For me, it was a very humbling experience just to be around and listen and be of whatever help I could. A very unique experience of what Christmas could mean in flesh and blood. 

I watch the sunrise...

Have heard this hymn just a couple of times earlier, and always felt greatly at peace at those moments.  We sang it today at the diamond jubilee ordination celebrations of Fr Peter Burns.  Like most the words of the chorus... endorsing my conviction that He is always with me; it is I who needs to feel His presence!

...You are always close to me, following all my ways.

May I be always close to You, following all Your ways, Lord!

I WATCH THE SUNRISE...

I watch the sunrise lighting the sky,
Casting its shadows near.
And on this morning bright though it be,
I feel those shadows near me.

But you are always close to me 
Following all my ways. 
May I be always close to you 
Following all your ways, Lord. 

I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds,
Warming the earth below.
And at the mid-day, life seems to say:
"I feel your presence near me."

For you are always . . . 

I watch the sunset fading away,
Lighting the clouds with sleep.
And as the evening closes its eyes,
I feel your presence near me.

For you are always . . . 

I watch the moonlight guarding the night,
waiting till morning comes.
The air is silent, earth is at rest –
only your peace is near me.

For you are always . . .

Facing fears

Reflection for April 29 (Jesus walks on the lake)

The disciples travelling by boat are frightened of the 'ghost' walking on the lake. Each of us is frightened of our own 'ghosts'. Fear is a good thing; it keeps us active and agile. But when there is excess of it, fear paralyses us. It is in such crippling fears that the Lord helps us. It is not through some magic that He does this. Rather He empowers us with His presence: “It is I. Do not be afraid.” We only need to truly feel His presence for any fear to depart from us. Just like a child or a pet, even though it feels frightened of darkness or strangers, feels emboldened in the presence of a loved one, Jesus builds up our strength. With Him at our side the battle has only begun. To expect Him to fight our battles is laziness. To think that that I alone can do it is foolishness. To feel His presence and face fears is wisdom.

Love as self-giving

Reflection for April 26

“For God so loved the world...”

The book The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall, speaks of different types of gifts one can offer to others: of work, of friends, of learning, of time, of dreams, and finally of oneself. To give someone several material gifts but keep oneself reserved or away does not really make the other happy and even renders those given gifts meaningless. What truly matters is not the gift as such but the involvement of the one giving that gift.

We human beings are relational beings. However much we may possess, we still crave for the warmth of human love and fellowship. God understands this need of ours and gives us the best, the ultimate gift: of Himself.

All talk of love is empty and meaningless unless it involves a self-less giving of oneself. God shares with us not merely His thoughts, His plans for us, the material gifts we are blessed with but also His own Son and the Spirit – not to forget His other sons and daughters, whom we encounter day in and day out.

Living in God's presence

In our certitude of who and what God is, we forget that God has His own mysterious ways of encountering us, even beyond our wildest of imagination.

You know exactly where to look. That is the reason you fail to find God (Tony De Mello).

The best strategy therefore, is to be open to an encounter with God every moment of our life, with every person we come across, through every object that we use. Perhaps this is the meaning of living in God's presence.  

The true meaning of existence is disclosed in moments of living in the presence of God. (Abraham Joshua Heschel).