Substitution

 Today we commemorate the feast of a man who wasn't the firsthand choice of Jesus as one among the 12 apostles. 

Mathias was a substitute or replacement of Judas. He was filling in the shoes of someone who had betrayed the very Master. Not a pleasant or exciting offer. 

He knew well what apostolate meant. Nor was he a first timer or random passerby who got dragged into the inner circle of the early apostles. I'm sure he was around when Jesus went about his mission. So when the slot fell vacant, the choice of Mathias was not surprising to those around. 

Being a substitute he could have acted as a spare wheel, rather than take on the full responsibility. But I'm sure that wasn't the case. In fact I'm almost certain, he would have continued being who he was and doing exactly what he was doing earlier. Even if he were not to have been chosen, he would still been the same and done the same amount of good. I guess the same is true of Barsabas, the alternative option who was considered for the substitution.

That's virtue. That's integrity. Valuing who I am and doing what I truly believe is good no matter the circumstances around me or the existence or non-existence of power, position and responsibility.

Religious dichotomy

 In the movie The Shawshank Redemption, Andy in one of his conversations with Red, makes this powerful statement, which once in a while I recollect. 

The context which reminds me of this statement is the kind of life some of us religious live.  Most often, our parents and siblings live a much holier life than us who profess to God and His people to live a life of poverty, obedience and chastity.  It is not a comparison that I am most concerned with. Rather it is the life we choose to live vs the life we profess to live.  The widening gap is often so wide that everyone except the one living it sees the incongruency. 

And this decline does not happen all of a sudden.  The foundation for religious life is often laid in the novitiate.  However, some never bother to lay that foundation, even after ordination. These drifters, even if guided by human values - leave alone divine or spiritual values - will still do good. However, often the case is that such anchorless persons only make use of everything - even God - for their own private agenda.  

Concealing - revealing

Often we use different tactics to cover up our faults and failings.  We twist words, design a behaviour, manipulate feelings to our advantage.  Most often politicians and lawyers use language to manipulate meaning and convince their hearers into believing them, most often of things they know are not true!

Modern media and communication channels, far from merely portraying reality, are rampantly used to basically present a very biased picture of reality, convincingly.  The camera lens and the newspaper ink are not really rear-view mirrors.  Gleaning through these messages and information to sift and find out what actually is the case is not always easy. 

However, every time one generates a subtle message, or acts in a particular manner for the public, those words or actions cannot be totally classified as concealing or hiding.  They actually reveal what kind of person one is!  If one is careful to see through, the words or actions, one will notice what's hidden and real and not be bluffed by what is projected or presented.  In this process one gets a glimpse of not only the other person, but of oneself too!  

To be prophets...

It is not only good to have prophets but essential for any and every group.  Or else when everyone thinks alike and not one attempts to see other possibilities or repercussions of the groups decisions from a larger perspective, we become lopsided and parochial in our initiatives. Therefore someone offering a different perspective, or even a contrary opinion, is far more beneficial for it facilitates the sorting out of priorities and purifying motivations.  The prophet and his prophecy forces us not to grow complacent or develop a stagnant attitude.  They rattle our comfort zones, challenging us to strive for truth, more than success; for integrity above glory; for meaning rather than continuity.

In all of this enterprise, owe to the prophet!  Not only has he or she to constantly check one's own integrity but also be battered by everyone around.

To say or not to say...

Having earned a respectable and dignified rapport with my boys of Ramanthapur, I'm now perceived by most as someone who really means what he says.  They like that and are very comfortable to say what they want to say to me too. In fact those whom I've challenged several times in the past are those who now come around and chat with me the most.  Those who merely bluff and are not keen about anything serious, I keep at a distance and that bugs them big time!

With the summer camp on, I'm beginning to see how different the boys from the other centres are.  Not that it is a generalisation, but there are some significant traits of boys from the other centres, not very prevalent here - and quite a few of them are not so healthy or beneficial for all.

The dilemma always is "to say or not to say!"  After all, I'm here for another two to three weeks and neither am I incharge of the camp, nor the dean of studies, but still...

Knowing well that most of the evil that exists in the world is not because of men who do bad things but because the majority who choose not to do anything, choose rather to remain silent and in doing so endorse the evil around them!

Found this nice statement somewhere...

When the battles came, we opted for nice.  We picked polite. We chose silence.  We didn't speak the truth.  We didn't stand up.  Not enough anyway. 

Saying prayers vs Praying

Another beautiful point that I purposely dwelt long enough during our discussions in the Brothers' Congress was the whole lacuna between practices of piety and prayer. I was in a way happy that before I could raise it up in the general assembly it featured in one of the group discussions and so I latched onto it.

The distinction is basically the whole crux of the problem.  The divide is so real and wide but one can easily miss it or deny it altogether. The fact that we say our prayers does not mean that we pray!  So how does one bridge this divide, I asked.  Some of the answers that came up on the floor were the following:

• a sincere and personal experience of Jesus
• reflective silence (something slowly evaporating from our Salesian houses and customs)
• rechecking our success indicators by which we grade ourselves and others
• re-evaluating our value system

Pimp in the mirror

Speaking of leadership, here's an excerpt from The Week, "Follow the Spirit" by Sudhir Kakar (February 3, 2013; p. 60-61)...

... Then comes personal identity. A leader must determine which lines he or she will, or will not, cross. A good way of clarifying this is the mirror test: "How do I feel about myself while looking at the mirror?"
It comes from the story of a German ambassador in London who, as part of a celebration he had to host in honour of King Edward, was asked to hire prostitutes. He resigned. Asked why, he said, "I refused to see a pimp in the mirror in the morning, when I shave."

Unholy holiness

Unholy holiness was the sensitive theme of our discussion this afternoon.  Fr Maliekal uses this phrase to mean how good things become the enemy of the real good.  How at times in our zeal to do good we exaggerate or become so obsessed that we miss out on the other essential elements that make life whole and nourishing.  While I always contend that most of us religious merely float in our life of spirituality and piety, the few who mean 'business' can easily get trapped in emphasizing some good aspect of life and spirituality to such an extent that it pushes out other important elements of life.

Spirituality or holiness is about wholeness, integrity; not some perfection in one aspect alone, even if it is charity or prayer alone! 

Defining spirituality

We concluded the evaluation of the Brothers today. Of the main five sectors that we based our remarks on, the one dealing with the spiritual dimension was a bit tricky.  Well one might wonder what's so difficult about spiritual dimension for those who intend to become priests?  That's exactly the difficulty. So sometime right in the beginning we agreed that in that section we would not limit ourselves to merely talking or evaluating the practices of piety or punctuality for Mass and capability of reciting prayers and singing.  I, for one, extended (or say, defined) spirituality to mean integrity, a sense of balance and constancy in life as a whole, not just in and around the Church and prayer.

While practices of piety and prayers are part of spirituality, to restrict the latter to the former is absurd...  though very many do that and fail to see the larger picture. But I was glad we collectively agreed upon this wider picture of spirituality.  So we repeatedly asked ourselves, 'How is this person in his overall outlook towards life and relationships? Is he balanced?  Does he live a rather steady and coherent life?  Is there a basic sense of integrity and communion in the various aspects of his heart, mind, body, spirit and attitude?  

Integrity

For meditation yesterday I was reflecting on the one virtue that, if asked, I'd pick up over and above the rest. That would be INTEGRITY.  And that would stand for every aspect of my life being connected with each other, with each one being transparent and finally, collectively making a true picture of myself, primarily before God and myself.  

The Terminal

While at Gunadala with the pre-novices for the past two days, I screened the movie, The Terminal, for them. I took it with me from here for I thought it was good for them.  However, it fit in well with what I ended the session on the first day of my seminary on Communication and Media... namely, Communication is an of the whole person and not just his or her words or actions.  Your whole being communicates.

The movie is about Victor Navroski, a man from Krakosia who gets stranded at the JFK airport in the US due to some political issues back in his own country.  Unable to go back home nor permitted to enter New York, the situation is compounded by his inability to speak and understand English.  Add to that a 'law-abiding' airport authority who just wants to get rid of this 'unacceptable' Navroski.  Forced to live in the airport, Victor begins to not just live his life but also affect the lives of those working at the airport.  He makes friends with the cleaners, the attenders, the security guards, the shop keepers, and discovers love in the person of an air hostess.  He helps a distraught son get medicine for his father cleverly through the customs, facilitates the love and marriage of two of his friends, finds a job and furnishes quite well his 'living place' at Gate 67...

All along he has a personal mission/errand to run.  Towards the end, when he does get an opportunity to finish what he came to New York for, he is blackmailed to get back to his country, in return for the safety of his new found friends.  Victor does not hesitate a moment. He decides to go back home without finishing what he came to the US for.  Once his friends realise what he did for them, they step in and make his dream come true.

Drawing lessons from the movie, in the context of the seminar, I told the pre-novices, that it is the person of the communicator that matters the most.  The channels, gadgets, education, location... may at the most assist.  But what genuinely counts in the long run, is the person of the communicator.   

Virtue, wisdom and courage

The day in the presence of Fr Maria Arokiam was very interesting and enriching. One of the many things he offered for reflection was the goodnight thought based on three virtues of a leader or superior: Virtuous, Wise and Bold.

Virtue, of course, is a good habit. It has to be both, good as well as a habit. Occasional acts of charity cannot make anyone virtuous unless repeated enough number of times, so as to make it a habit.

Fr Maria Arokiam defined wisdom as loving intelligence. That was quite a summary of wisdom. Intelligence alone can be dangerous (even a crook can be very intelligent). Love alone may lead one to foolishness. It is in the right balance of the two that wisdom is to be found.

Bold is of course, the courage to tell clearly and distinctly that something is wrong when it is wrong and appreciate something when it is right. It is based on integrity of life and moral standing. Of course, where there is boldness, there is no room for fear.

Fidelity as an act of worship

Like many simple Christians, our Brothers too have a very pietistic idea of Lent and related practices. Very many of them 'like' to fast on Wednesdays and/or Fridays. However the very same guys will be the first to skip their morning community duties or be sluggish when it comes to the evening work or games. So the other day, Fr Wilson bluntly called them 'white washed sepulchers' in his goodnight and the effect was the next morning there was none fasting! Asked why did they suddenly stop fasting, "Fr Wilson told us not to fast!" was their immediate and spontaneous response. So committed and intense was their fast - and reason for the same.

Fidelity, (or integrity) as an act of worship, is something that is still to sink in most of us. Till then we will be greatly and foolishly carried away by something cheap and petty... not because we are ignorant of it but because we feel convenient and 'nice' about it.

A Priest forever?

We had our Salesian recollection this morning... after long (and as per Fr K.T. 'after 7 years')! Anyway, during the Gospel sharing Fr T.V. Thomas mentioned something nice. He stated that the phrase, "A Priest forever" is better when stated thus: A Priest for everyday or each moment. Now that's something very meaningful and apt for the present context. I'd love my Seminarians to get this idea into their head, that Priesthood is more about living it than possessing it like a degree or certificate (attained, God knows how!).

One shot devotion

Many who come to such pilgrimage centres as Kondadaba, often doing lot of sacrifices or undergoing lots of inconveniences do so for a particular reason. Some walk to the Shrine, a distance of about 35 to 70 kms. Others make their way up the hill on their knees (even one of our Brothers did it last night - had I know it I'd have made him do it again!). Some travel long distances and endure the extreme cold that we're having these days. Their faith that Mother Mary does much for and on their behalf is really unshakeable.

However, for most of these simple believers this once a year 'sacrifice' or 'trip' to the Shrine, so to say, scrubs clean all their sins and mistakes. The rest of the year they are free to live any way contrary to this singular act of 'devotion' and 'repentance'.

Of course, it all boils down to simple, daily faith (bit-by-bit belief) vs a sustained integrity (communion of life/living and spirituality).

Appreciating Andrew

Fr KT in his sermon this morning spoke of St Andrew, the saint of the day. Among the several things he said, what struck me was the fact that Andrew, along with John, meets Jesus, at the instruction of John the Baptist, spends a night with Jesus and by morning makes this bold proclamation to his brother, Peter: "We have found the Messaiah!"

Most of us spend a lifetime and yet with no guarantee that we would realise this fact. Yet here is is a person who spends just an evening with the Lord and is able to recognise Him. Two things that emerge out of this event:

1. The powerful personality of Jesus
2. The openness of Andrew to recognise the Lord, when he meets him. The fact that he was with John the Baptist, prior to this, could have very much facilitated this discovery.

How I wish I could be more like, Jesus (convincing because of personal integrity and convictions) or at least like John the Baptist (able to recognise and lead people to Jesus) or in the least like Andrew (to be able to recognise Him when I meet the Lord and courageous enough to admit it openly).

Not just preachers but men of God

The gospel of the day, Matthew 21:28-32 (Sunday 25 September 2011) is a subtle warning for all those in public offices and authorities who think that their personal life has no bearing on their public ministry - saying one thing and doing another. That to say something in public for others has no connection whatsoever with what I do or say or believe within me. That all that matters is a grand show or an emotional drive that will sweep the 'audience' off their feet and 'make them better' while what I say and proclaim makes no impact on me at all. Least of all, I need not touched by it at all. What I say is for 'them', it does not apply to me.

I see in the Church today a great 'thirst' for preachers... even if they are not doers! The prayer of people is that Priests be men who can proclaim the Word of God eloquently... living that Word of God is not the priority. The other day there was one senior lady, very devout and simple, who praised the Brothers for having left everything and come to the service of the Church. She too wanted them all to be good preachers! Since I have a rapport with her, I sternly warned her never ever to emphasise the little, at the cost of the essential! Being smart, she understood my point: not just preachers, but men of God.

Need for integrity and consistency

I know not if I'm biting more than I can chew... I do speak a lot in my classes. I love to challenge the Brothers to something greater and higher. I also do confuse them and force them to think out of the box or differently. At times I wonder, if in my excitement, I tell them contradictory things over a period of time. In my enthusiasm to drive home a point, I do not wish to lose my own line of thought or have extremely baseless ideas myself. I really ought to ensure that there is no discrepancy between what I say, how I live and what I believe in.

Help me, Lord!

Authority from within

Yesterday's gospel was interesting. The Pharisees wanting to know under whose authority was Jesus saying and doing all that He was upto. Jesus put a question back to them, as to under whose authority was John the Baptist functioning? The Pharisees, to save their skin, feign ignorance. The answer is crystal clear. John the Baptist was truly functioning from a dual authority. He was commissioned by God for a specific task and secondly he lived an integral life. Thus he derived his authority from God and from himself.

There can never be any greater authority that this deadly combination: God and within. To be convinced of what one is and is upto, and to live in conformity with one's thoughts, words and deeds is a great source of power, strength and authority. Such figures are always a big challenge to the rest of the world who find no crack or point of leverage to bring down people.

Lead kindly light

Reflecting about my own life, my personal inner self, I ask myself what is it that I am really made up of? What is it that I am serious about in life? Perhaps I can with certain pride as well as humility claim INTEGRITY as something that I prize most. And for something that I'd like to grow in: discerning and aligning my own will to that of God's will.

I loved to choose and see my path,
but now, lead Thou me on.

[Lead kindly light...]