Competence vs trust

Peter was a fisherman, right? He wasn't one of the tax collectors or physicians.  So naturally he should be the one most used to and at home with water, the sea and all that.  However, it struck me that when he asked to walk on water and begins to sink, he calls out to Jesus to 'save him'.  Really?  Being a fisherman he would surely know to swim.  Furthermore the boat was not too far away. He certainly could have made it to the boat.  Why then did he call out for help?  That too from Jesus, a carpenter?

I guess, it has something to do with trust.  Profession or competence does not count. What does matter in moments of great trouble is the trust that I have in the other person.  It is the same trust that makes a frightened child reach out for its mother or father, in case of a fire, rather than a fire-fighter.  Peter's plea for help is typically one of a frightened child.  At that moment of anguish, the child knows not how competent or incompetent the parent is.  All that the child knows is that the parent will not abandon him or her, no matter what.  And that's all that matters.

The trouble with most of us, especially those of us who claim to be close to God and working for His cause, is that we are surely working for His Kingdom but we often forget him.  We work for God but fail to see God and subsequently grow in trust and faith.

Learning differences

This evening we had the Provincial of the GBR Province with us. It was the installation (induction) of Fr John Dickson as the Rector of Chertsey.  Two other priests belonging to the community but exercising their ministry in a parish far off, were present too.  After Mass and supper there was a brief presentation of the GBR Province plan.  Or rather it was more about a method or framework of a proposed plan - along that of the General council.  Nothing new from our past Indian experience.  Comparatively here they seem to still be in the initial mode only! Anyway, what was interesting for me was the priorities of the extraordinary visitor and the recommendations of the Rector Major for the Chapter documents.  Naturally not all points were totally new or different from our Province (INH) reminders.  But certain points other points were stressed.  I had to do a bit of mind-juggling, trying to get out of my Province mode and context to try to 'manufacture' the existing context of GBR based on the recommendations.

One myth that perhaps got busted a little was this:  Since the past three weeks, having heard and seen first hand the life and words of the confreres here, I had somehow come to think that for an Indian to come over here and carry out his ministry would be a cake walk; while most of the Brits would never manage to survive in India more than a week! All for various reasons. Perhaps about that I'll speak some other time. I also remind myself that once upon a time it was these very Europeans who brought the Salesian charism to India!  But the point that I want to make now is that it isn't going to be that easy for any confrere from India to fully get involved in the ministry here.

Perhaps the main reason for this, from what I gathered especially the GBR provincial's talk, would be the standard of proficiency expected of a Salesian to take up a responsibility.  The standards here are quite, let's say, different from that of the Indian context.  I may be a bit pessimistic about the potency of my own confreres but some of them might really mess up things big time here.  Not that they do better back at home; but the thing is that they'd get away with it, very easily.  Here the general public may not be that tolerant, I gather!  I wonder how some of the diocesans from Andhra/Telangana are managing to carry out their ministry in the West, especially some of my own former students.

Anyway, I think I must not be rash or judgemental about these matters.  After all these are two very very different contexts. The basics are the same but certainly not all modalities.  So let me carry on with my observation mode rather than the judgement mode.  

Extreme experiences at Osmania Hospital

I returned from the hospital this morning, after what was supposed to be a simple drop for one of our ailing boys at Nampally home.  One of our boys was complaining of acute pain in the abdomen since midnight of Sunday.  Rushed him to a nearby hospital and the doctor suspected appendicitus.  Yesterday I took him to the city hospital for further examination and soon the emergency of the situation dawned upon the doctors and he was lined up for a surgery for a perforated intestine caused due to a burst ulcer.  Cutting the long story short, he is now recuperating post surgery and me too!  It has been quite sometime I spent time in the hospital accompanying someone and I am glad I could be of some assistance to Sai in this crucial moment.

However, my impression of my maiden experience of Osmania hospital is a very mixed one. I just couldn't imagine how a hospital, of all places, could be so filthy!!  Really, the stench, dirt, waste (human, clinical, and everything else too) does not in anyway, qualify it to be a hospital.  I was horrified to see a dog and a few puppies on the second floor of the hospital... and from the way they were walking around, it does not seem that they had wandered there but that they were living there!! And of course, there was a cat in the surgical intensive care unit, the place where I was the whole night.  Gosh!!

Photo originally found here.

That said, I was trying to understand how could such a supposedly hygenic place be so pathetic.  It did not take me long to notice that beginning with the patients to the visitors, everyone gladly adds to the filth in the hospital.  Spitting everywhere and pissing around the corners seem to be something normal and the right thing to do! Naturally, the dilapidated sections of the building too does not help much improving the hygiene factor.

Well that's one side of the picture. Balancing - or rather, out-weighing - this ghastly side, is the dedication and the work spirit of the team of doctors in the hospital.  I was only there for one day and a night and all along I saw the same team of doctors working, meeting, checking on the patients, performing surgeries and all that stuff with quite an expertise and enthusiasm.  And those free, even if for short intervals, were keenly discussing or reading thick journals and books concerning medicine! That was really something.  

Unquestioned integrity and Professionalism

Discussing about the mega debacle of the Common Wealth Games being held in Delhi, there is a lot of talk about the belling the cat. Who exactly and for what reasons, are the present state of affairs, the way they are. Most of the accusation is pointed to the leadership and the corruption prevailing at the top level of administration and organisation. Comparing this leadership with that of E. Sreedharan, the man who is at the helm of the Delhi Metro Project, Rajdeep Sardesai uses a very apt phrase to describe the difference: Unquestioned integrity and Professionalism.

True indeed! In today's world where everything seems corrupted, from the milk sold in the market to the nuclear warheads being engineered, the one thing that really matters most is integrity. In the past few days too, there have been several incidents in the Seminary here where some of the students have questioned several aspects of the community life. However, most of them hesitate when it comes to this aspect of integrity. It has also offered me rich opportunities to show the chinks in their arguments. Brothers come to me to settle their disputes. I resist and desist. The reason (which I make clear to them): when I get involved in giving a solution, that becomes 'my solution'. But on their own when they have to sort out matters, it becomes 'one's own' discussion.

Professionalism and Charism

There is so much that can be done and that too with finesse! Today, practically the whole afternoon, I spent browsing hundreds of websites related to the CBSE schools and governance. I realise most of them have a professional approach to the method and philosophy of education that they impart to children through these schools. Some, I gather, are nothing but another name-sake educational institute. But sincerely speaking, I was quite impressed by the minute details one particular school has seen too. It looks like it has been in this field of education for quite long. What's more, I found out that it is in the vicinity of the Provincial house itself! Gliding through their website, I find them quite sure about what they are upto. That's really a good thing. They don't seem to be wasting their time doing 'something'. They are clear about their method and their goal, as well.

Reflecting about our own upcoming School, I realise, we are yet to adopt a professional approach. And that is easier said than done. The danger however is to balance between professionalism and the charism of Don Bosco. For the group of young people we have been catering to, a clinical professionalism will not be the ideal; whereas, that does not prevent us from adopting a procedure that is professional and of high standards. For the envisaged School here, it is more of an academic standard than a basic essential education as provided by Don Bosco. The dividing line is very subtle and it is surely going to be a tight-rope walk for anyone to balance both these values.

Professionalism vs Indecision

I had the opportunity to witness the presentation of a group of corporate representatives regarding the possibility of entering into a joint collaboration to upgrade and qualify our existing efforts in the educational field. These guys, I gathered, are thorough-bred professionals in their fields. Their lofty ideals and ideas were indeed very impressive and convincing. I am sure they gathered the weaknesses and strengths of our institutions and our strategies from their singular visit to Ramanthapur and the two-hour long interaction with us today. They were sharp in their observation of what we expressed and at the same time making sure that they conveyed their 'guarded views'.

Yet in and through all of this, I sat there observing and comparing ourselves with these two gentlemen. They were, in a sense, 'businessmen' - sure about who they were and what they were up to; we, on the other hand, neither sure of our charity nor professionalism. They clearly had financial profit and media fame on their mind (though they were careful not to harp on that!). We were groping for a way balancing our commitment to God (trust in Divine Providence?) and survival in a market-driven world. They had no one to account to and thereby arrive at decisions on their own; we, had to think, study (in groups, commissions, communities, councils...), discuss, get the approval of our superiors... (with no guarantee that by the time all of this is through, the confreres in the local community are sufficiently motivated to concretely carry forward this process). They were keen to kick start their plans right away; we go on as though we own time!

Final word: ... long way to go, dear confreres! Can't ride along complacent on past glory! Stand for something or we'll fall for anything!