Religious discipline

Most of us look for motivation... mostly to stick to our goals and resolutions.  Hence the plethora of motivational talks and quotes that one finds on social media and whatsapp messages.  Nonetheless, what keeps one going is a commitment, a discipline, a consistent rhythm.  In that sense, motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.  

So I ask myself, is religious life and its principles, my motivation or a discipline? It ought to be a discipline.  Motivation can be temporary and not always available.  But what I can and should commit myself to is a discipline, a rhythm of life based on the Gospels.  

Life as a religious is no different from that of a sports person. Both the streams of life demand a certain stringent discipline, without which one gets no where and barely achieves anything worth at all.  Perhaps, just a difference of reason and purpose. A religious lives for God and people to whom he or she has committed his or her life to.  A sports person lives for the merit of the game. 

The beauty of this discipline is that when supported by love, it becomes a vocation; if not, it is an obsession.  

Growing in discipline

As I went in the Church at Weybridge for Mass, this roller scooter perfectly parked caught my eye. This sort of scooter is quite famous with children around here. I see children taking it up to school and then parents gettting in back with them when they come to collect them at the end of school.  Children just love pushing, hopping on it and riding it!

This particular one caught my attention because it was neatly parked in the place where cycles are normally parked. I'm sure the one who brought in the scooter was just a little kid. But she (given that it is painted) had the perfect discipline to park it in place rather than leave it about in some corner.  That's growing in discipline.

However once inside the Church I was wondering, if children could be taught such discipline and they retain that even when the grow up, how come frequenting the Church and participating in the sacramental and liturgical life of the Church is not something children carry on once they touch their teens?  Granted that parents and elders here value greatly the opinion and freedom of their children right from when they are little, how come civic discipline is retained but not religious fervour?   

Lenten penance

What did you give up for Lent?  That's the question most people have in mind now.  I've asked myself too the same.  When in a context where more than half of the week I give up lunch (not because I want to but because I'm away at college) there's no point in giving up more of food!  So that really brings me to ask what is it that I then give up so that I 'feel' it?

So for this Lent, I'm giving up 'discouragement'.  May look odd but in this present moment, I think that's what I'm 'enjoying'!  So why not give up that!  The academic front has been challenging. And not used to being challenged intellectually, I find myself struggling.  Over the past couple of months, I realise I've been wallowing in this pit of 'lethargic discouragement'. Time for some sacrifice!

Learning from St Francis de Sales

Today we commemorate the feast of St Francis de Sales.  Besides being the founder of the MSFS, he is venerated as the patron of the Salesians of Don Bosco.

Stained glass arcade of St Francis de Sales at Saint Paul Catholic Church (Westerville, Ohio)

When Don Bosco founded his congregation for the youth at risk, his natural choice of St Francis de Sales was not an impromptu decision.  It was out of a personal and historical resonance with the Saint that made Don Bosco propose St Francis de Sales as the patron.  Of all the virtues of St Francis, what attracted Don Bosco and something which moulded his own life, was the virtue of self-discipline.  St Francis is renowned for his gentleness and meekness. However, he was not 'born' with those virtues.  He had to strive to excel in them.  Don Bosco was much worse.  He was short-tempered, rebellious, hard-headed and as stubborn as a mule.  Don Bosco himself acknowledges these vices in his life.  And with this baggage he could not have done much for the kids to whom he was keen to reach out to.  For they too were of similar character!  Don Bosco then makes the difficult choice: to change himself in order to be useful to the boys whom he loved most. In this arduous task of working on oneself, he chose St Francis de Sales.  Though, honestly speaking, he did not have as much a success as did St Francis, but there was considerable change.

Novena to Don Bosco: Discipline and Perseverance

Novena to Don Bosco

(Remembering DON BOSCO and the significant people who shaped his life and works)

Day 2: Francis de Sales 

(Patron of the Salesian Society) 

DISCIPLINE AND PERSEVERANCE

Don Bosco choose St Francis de Sales as the patron of his Salesian Congregation because he was inspired by the loving kindness of this great saint. The life of St Francis de Sales showed him that change is not only possible; that it is as vital as breathing.

Begin to practice self-denial in little things, so that later you will be able to do so in bigger things. 

In a goodnight to the boys of his oratory exhorting them to grow in the virtue of mortification and perfection in little things of life. 

Forgive others everything; yourself, nothing. 

Following the example of St Francis de Sales, Don Bosco learnt to be charitable to others, but never to oneself. He practised great tolerance towards his boys and others but was very austere with himself. 

Pray, pray, but with faith – with living faith! Courage! Onward, ever onward! 

One of the last words of Don Bosco on his deathbed in the month of January 1888. 
(Click here to download the pdf file for display)

Switching streams

Chatting with the other students after the Human Rights lecture yesterday, I came to know that most of them had changed their course or stream of studies. Some had done literature for their graduation, but were now getting a Masters in management or information technology and cyber security.  Some had graduated in law but now pursuing philosophy.  Some started with maths but were now interested in politics.  I found that a bit weird, mainly because after studying for three full years how does one just give it all up for a totally different branch of study?  But I suppose each one has his or her reasons.

It may be because of career options or could be that they are trying out some new concoctions. Given the wide and multi-faceted educational structure of the place, they could very well be trying to merge two different, hitherto unrelated streams of study, researching some common feature that intrigues them.

Perhaps, I'll ask them directly... in due time.

One of them, on knowing that we were a couple of us studying philosophy, expressed her "awe"... "Oh, so cool!  You really must be having a very enjoyable time reading all that stuff!"  I smiled and replied, "The grass is always greener on the other side!" 

In a courtroom

For the first time I entered a courtroom today - a civil court in Sangareddy, Medak district. It was in connection with a land dispute we are embroiled in for the past ten years. I accompanied our accountant, who was to be cross-examined today as one of the witnesses who signed the gift deed (which is now being contested).

Anyway, I was impressed by the neat halls, verandahs and the whole structure of the building.  What impressed me most was the decorum in the courtroom.  Everyone who entered the courtroom, the lawyers in particular, would greet the judge with a namaste or a gentle bow.  That the judge hardly noticed these salutations is secondary.  It reminded me of our entry into the Churches and Chapels!  Then it struck me that this too is a place of respect and reverence.  Not necessarily for the person but for the role he is carrying out - that of ensuring justice for all.

The second thing I liked was the reverence all the lawyers had for the judge.  I'm sure not all would be pleased with him or approve of his decisions and that some - or most - would even curse him outside the courtroom... but in his presence they were all very very respectful and disciplined.  Even the senior lawyers much beyond the age of the judge himself, were of the same attitude.

Finally, the judge himself was very stern and sure of his role.  He reminded me of Fr Ivo who has the knack of asking one sharp question and leave us all bewildered.  Right at that moment we would not understand the relevance of that question but a calm and prepared reflection would help one see the centrality of that question to the matter in discussion.  This judge too had that unique ability.  He was stern but polite and most importantly swift.

When your brother has something against you...

"When you know that your brother has something against you, go first, get reconciled and then offer your gifts at the altar."

Going by this dictum of Jesus, He Himself would have never been eligible to offer gifts at the altar. Certainly He did have his share of 'offended brothers', the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Jewish elders, the tax collectors and so on.  Yet He offered Himself as the sacrifice.

In our times, if this is the case, no parent can genuinely come anywhere near the communion line!  How many times do children get 'offended' and sulk.  Do that mean, parents have to ask pardon of their children for preventing them from putting their fingers into the electrical sockets of the house? Or has the mother to seek pardon for forcibly feeding her child, in spite of and through the river of tears flowing from her eyes?  

Taking offense

In the community, as I go about my usual self now - I wasn't so, for quite sometime - I realize that very many Brothers take offense when I tell them something or point out something that they are supposed to do or know.  I demand that Brothers be on time for class.  (I am there myself and ensure that I stop class at the bell too) They would like to take their own time getting into the classroom, take time to settle down, chat about (immediately after a 15 minute break)... all of this while the Professor is yet to reach the class. In this case the Professor is to be blamed primarily.  But when one 'strange' guy turns up on time, the story is still the same!  When demanded that they be in class at the bell, they are offended!

Some Brothers are angry that their nonsensical thesis papers are not approved by their respective guides. So the guide, who is doing his duty, is the one at fault. The Brother does not see that it is he who failed to do a decent work, in time and with some finesse. Leave alone feel guilty or sorry about this; he feels angry that the guide has not approved his paper!!

In such an ambiance where people fail to demand and set standards, for themselves and for others as well; where all have settled for a comfortable level of mediocrity (either out of fear or laziness) ... any change for the better is always seen as a violation of 'fundamental rights'.

That, is certainly a sign that things need to change!  

From mere watching to creating...

This morning I read the news interview of the CEO-elect of Infosys, Vishal Sikka, in which he was asked about the educational system in the country.  I was happily surprised to read his comments about the same.

I think there is an incredible fascination for Nach Baliye and singing and dancing, and I wish we get back to a little bit of math and science.  

True indeed.  Somehow we get caught with the eye and what is fascinating to the eyes not really that which demands discipline and courage.  Not that the those participating in the dance programmes do not have discipline and courage.  Yes they certainly do! But what of the millions who watch them!  Most seem happy to merely watch and not do anything about it.  Some may emulate them and try their hand at dancing but when they discover that it is more than clowning around, then they quit and get back to the safest and easiest mode: right infront of the idiot box.

I ask of my Brothers and myself this same question: What are my priorities?  That I like dance and music and games, is fine, but is study and reflection anywhere on the horizon?  If not, where do I get stuff to inspire me to appreciate or compose music?  How and where do I learn the meaning of art and expression?  How do I know and imbibe the values of a game?  

Learning to grow...

I did not approve one of the students final dissertation paper today.  He was furious when he was told about this by the Principal.  He stormed into my office and demanded why I did not approve his paper. He initially accused me of not guiding him at all and then now insulting him by not approving his final paper.  I stayed calm and asked him to get all his drafts in order of their submission, along with all the comments and remarks that I passed on to him, each time he submitted a chapter. He banged the door and left to get his drafts.  He came in a couple of minutes later with a pile of papers and started to put them in some sensible order - which he was unable to do.  I asked him to take his own time and come back with the papers put in order.

He returned after 3 hours, still unable to trace the order and sequence of drafts of his own paper!  I then took him along a 'guided tour' of all his papers. Since I knew all his crazy stuff better than him, I showed him his lethargy and irresponsible attitude all along, in spite of my repeated warnings and instructions - all written in black and white, all along the year.  Soon he realised he stood no chance of arguing or that his anger was meaningless. He had no one but himself to blame.  His last question, "What shall I do now?" I only asked him, "Did that question occur to you any time I returned your corrected drafts?"  He had no answer.

As I type this episode, I still am calm and in total control of myself.  All along I kept telling myself that I only intend to show him his laid back attitude which has cost him his academic certificate.  I should not break or insult him.  Never to shout or raise my voice.  I did it and feel that I've been just.  I know well, it is not about me, but about him.  

Evaluation

We, the Council members of the Seminary, have been sitting for the evaluation of the Brothers for the past five days.  To follow a certain format, we would list some of the positive aspects of the Brother under discussion and then offer some points for improvement.  (Of course, this is not in the presence of the Brother; the points listed would later be communicated to the concerned individual before sending it to their respective authorities.)

At times, we would not have anything to say about a particular Brother.  It is just that we have nothing! It made me feel ashamed because, I certainly had a long list of things that I want him to improve but after five months of living together I had not observed anything positive in him.

Another thing that kept tugging at my heart was that most often we were evaluating or judging a particular student from their academic performance.  While I do have to say that this phase of formation is geared towards intellectual formation, I still felt hesitant to believe that academic performance was perhaps the most or the only success indicator.  

Faith and Religion (2)

As I sat for the adoration this evening, my thoughts on faith, religion and spirituality began to haunt me. I found asking myself, what is it that I answer when people ask me which religion do I follow? I certainly answer, Christian/Catholic. But does that answer stand for my closeness to Christ, being His disciple or is it to mean that I belong to the Church. Well one might say that it is the same but not to me. I might very well 'belong' to the Church: baptised, participating in all the practices of piety, regularly paying my subscription... but that does not necessarily imply me being close to the person of Jesus Christ. Thus, the answer is 'Christian'... but most often we limit ourselves to the latter explanation or realm of meaning. The former meaning - and the core - of Christianity is not what is indicated in our response.

So then, back to my dilemma: Is faith and religion the same?

Love vs Discipline (Evelyn)

Today I watched the movie 'Evelyn'... lovely movie of the love of a father to be united with his children in the wake of his wife deserting him and him struggling to make ends meet. With the able support of a couple of friends, he fights the very Irish Constitution and wins.

I'll come straight to the point that is rigning loud in my head: my role as the disciplinarian in the house. In the movie there is the convent where the little girl Evelyn is being brought up. The community of Sisters, each with their own temperament enable the growth of the children under their care. While Sr Bridget was indeed strict the other Sisters were gentle and caring. Was Sr Bridget wrong? I'd say, yes. She was truly cruel, to the extent of meeting out physical punishment.

That brings me to the next level of thought: Was her behaviour not in keeping with the growth and discipline of the child? I'm still not clear. But I guess there is a fairly thin line dividing strict discipline and dictatorship. And I surely need to know that line well!

The song above, 'Angel Rays' by Gemma Hayes, is a beautiful one given the context of the movie.

Setting priorities right: Study first!

This evening we had our community Christmas celebrations... was rather sober but involving and brief. We had a long Mass, the get together thereafter and the supper that followed. Things were quite smooth and somehow we all were happy that there was neither extravagance not excitement shooting through the roof. During the get together there was sufficient confusion to keep down the tone of excitement (perhaps I now need to tap individual talent, and give this idea of 'group activity' a little rest). I was also surprised to see that all the Brothers were in bed (except for a handful of them quietly packing) by 11 pm... as instructed, gently after supper. I was quite sure that none of them would sleep tonight. But I was wrong! Either they are getting into the serious mood of the seminary or they are acting quite well to please us, the staff! Either way, I'm happy there is noticeable change, for the better, taking place.

This morning, Fr Devadas' comment that the Brothers are complaining of losing their peace of mind, due to the numerable assignments that I am giving and the constant antiphons of Fr Wilson that study is prayer, were indeed very encouraging. Truly... the Brothers are feeling the heat of study. Having tried all possible means of wriggling out of this 'study-net' they are now trying the 'spiritual-net'. But they know very well, perhaps more than us Staff, that there are no shortcuts to sincere and dedicated study, at least for this year!

What more can I, as the Dean of studies in a Philosophate, ask for!! Perhaps this is the Lord's Christmas gift to me... THANK YOU, LORD! I'm yet to think and prepare one for Him, though!

Differentiating Care and Protection from Formation

Everytime I come to Vizag and have to get back to Kondadaba, I end up with a different opinion about both the places!! At times, I feel that this work here in Vizag, with the 'street children' is difficult... not my cup of tea. The task at Kondadaba is more cut out and merely formal. Other times, I feel this is more meaningful and sensible but with its own hazards, which I fear I will not be able to really do justice to. One of those dilemmas was out in the light this evening during the staff meeting. With all my 'disciplinarianship' felt that study of the boys needs more focus and attention. But then this isn't a boarding!! But wait!! When most (95% of them) are not street children why then treat them so. But the question that came up during the discussion, what when we get new children, straight off the street. Our rigid timetables and organised structures would scare the wind out of them. And I immediately responded, that this timetable does not apply for them, at least for two weeks or more, till they start feeling at home here. I got to keep that in mind with the three boys who are new now to the Navajeevan. One of them is quite happy and cheerful to be with other boys. One just landed up from Bihar this morning, and to his bad luck he speaks only hindi and none of the other boys speak hindi. I'll have to keep an eye on him especially. Another one who had come from Mumbai the other day vanished the second day. Hope this fellow does not repeat history!

Of determination and fight...

Speaking about determination and will power to keep on at something, even amidst trials, tribulations, doubts, discouragement, anxiety and fear, here is something that I came across:

It doesn't really matter about the size of the dog in the fight;
what really matters is the amount of fight in the dog.

Inspiration and motivation

Here is an inspirational video about one who did not believe in giving up, in spite of loss and pain. Nick Vujicic is one who inspires people ... without his hands and limbs.

Motivation gets you through the day, but inspiration lasts a lifetime.

Firm but reasonable

I was reading Archbishop Thomas Menamparambil's book, Never Grow Tired for meditation this morning. Precisely speaking I was at the section containing his talk to the deacons preparing for their ordination. One of the points he mentions therein is to distinguish the need to impose one's own ideas from making oneself acceptable to the people whom we serve.

Reflecting in the context of my apostolate here in the Philosophate, I realise I have to constantly make my points clear and convey things (most often not easily taken by the Brothers)... well, I can't help it in a way, after all I'm supposed to be the disciplinarian of the house! But I also realise that when I make efforts to ensure that Brothers see that I'm not one to dictate terms to them and take off for a holiday, leaving them alone to slog it out, I make myself acceptable. There are several ways in which I can win their favour and their attention and when I dish out my instructions or guidelines having done that - even if bitter or difficult - they are better prepared to accept and follow. Firm but reasonable! It works!

Making the best of whatever at hand... even of hell!

I just finished going through the B. Ph. papers sent to me from Karunapuram for their final defense on Feb. 19, 2010. It was good trying to break my head trying to understand what they have understood. At times, when thought they were telling something new, I realised it was a grammatical error in the language and not some new thought!!

Even in these four papers that I corrected, I notice clearly a sense of discipline - or lack of it. All of them have the same amount of time and resources at their disposal, the same professors and the same ambiance. Yet the final outcome is not always the same or similar. It varies mostly according to the interest and effort put in by each individual. This is where my basic problem lies: why is it that when most of us join the religious/ Salesian life and profess to give of our very best, we withhold our best!! I understand it when not everyone can do a scientific paper the best but there should be something that each of us can do our best. What is that? Do I invest all my talents and energies into that?

I know that not always the situation and the context is the most ideal. But can I make the most of even that hell?