Move the chair

 

Weird b'day salutation!

A few days ago we had Santiagu's birthday.  We celebrated the day with Mass and supper in the evening, as a community.  Being a Sunday we invited the Salesians of the city for the meal two days later on a Tuesday.  

One weird thing I found, which I felt I should have pointed out much earlier was the way he was addressed during all those days, in different places and at different times, by different groups!  Most kept saying, "Birthday of Fr Provincial!"  

And every time I heard it, I squirmed!   The birthday was of Santiagu, not Fr Provincial; not even of FATHER Santiagu!  On the said day, Santiagu was born, not the Provincial, not the Priest!  Worse still, he'll be the Provincial only for his tenure of 6 years! And celebration of the Provincial's b'day, if at all one is to celebrate the event, is to be on the day he took charge as the Provincial. 

This distinction is essential in bearing in mind that titles, roles, responsibilities as distinct from a person!  Each one has its own place and importance. Human being is the substance; the rest are accidents! 

Strangers or friends?

 Of late I'm reading up interesting inspiring or odd stories in the news.  I never liked politics - never do! So I gladly skip the political section.  But the odd bits that occasionally pop up in mainstream media about unusual or heartwarming stories, I gladly read.  

One such was this one on BBC: The wedding crasher mystery solved after four years

It is a story of a young couple, reviewing the photos of their wedding, come across a stranger in attendance. Being a close knit event with family and friends only invited for the occasion, they couldn't identify the man.  The bride particularly felt she needed to uncover his identity and after four years did manage to discover that the man attending their wedding was a total stranger; but accidentally at their wedding, instead of another wedding happening at a nearby venue.  This man was given the wrong address and realised that he was at the wrong venue, only on seeing the bride - the only person whom he knew in the intended wedding he wished to be present!  

As I read this story, I couldn't but laugh.  In Scotland - as it would be in most of Europe, I guess - weddings and such events are attended only by invitation, that too very selected few. To find a stranger would mean they are wedding crashers!  And just like in this story, easy to identify, as 'not invited' - though may be difficult to identify them in real life.  But in India, if one were to even try to identify all those who attend a wedding, a lifetime would be totally inadequate even to mark someone as a wedding crasher!  Not to mention anything about actual wedding crashers. 

First of all our families and friends circle are so big and wide, any new face could very well be a first cousin or the better half of my best friend! So when one invites someone close to oneself for an event, that invited person inviting another one or two or more is not taken offence at or unexpected.  The more the merrier is the mantra!  In such a scenario, total strangers are also welcome!  That's the other aspect of celebrations in India - everyone is welcome!  Very rarely is a guest thrown out, merely because he or she is a stranger or he or she hasn't been invited. On the contrary, strangers becoming friends at such events is not uncommon!! Such is the adventurous life in India! 

Happy anniversary

Today is Papa and Mummy's wedding anniversary.  However, it is also a bit weird today.  This being the first time in 44 years that Papa is not around with us, especially Mummy on this day.  We never had any big or grand celebrations, except maybe for their silver jubilee.  It has always been a very quiet and low key celebration - just like all our birthdays.  However, we always made it a point to call, talk, sing for the occasion specially.  In earlier days I would send them a letter in advance. 

Nonetheless, I did wish Mummy yesterday.  Mummy wasn't too sure what to say.  She then said, only half the part is here.  The other half is not there to celebrate.  I told her, "He will get his share of greetings too! For now, you take our greetings for both!"  Later I told Willy, that Papa for sure, would have already made some deals with St Lawrence in heaven: "Full bottle for the day!"... just like he did every year with Willy on such days of celebration! 

Happy anniversary, Papa and Mummy!  Thank you for all that you have been for us! 

Visit of the Rector Major

The Rector Major of the Salesians of Don Bosco is visiting our community tomorrow.  This is his maiden visit to this Province and certainly to this community.  The last time a Rector Major visited Chertsey was 50 years ago - that was Fr Ricceri.

Well, I just can't help comparing this occasion here and now, and if it were to be in any of our Indian provinces!  Back in India, the preparations would have been going on for almost a year.  For the past one month or so, everyone in the house would have been going bonkers over the whole event.  The whole house taking on a new look - not only physical appearance, by way of painting, cleaning and tidying up, but also by way of decoration and additional beautification.  Besides everyone in town, and I mean, everyone, would know that he is coming.  Of that the Salesians and those living in the house would make sure of.  Then there is the whole extravagance of welcome, felicitation, cultural programmes, talks and invitation cards and related things - one of each of these in the house, the boarding, the school, the parish... Each place would like to have something special for him.  There will also be a long list of things he will have to inaugurate - even if they are still halfway through completion or have already been in use for sometime now!  And for all these events, who is invited and what role assigned to each, is thought over a thousand times - not to mention the seating arrangement at each instance!  Then there are the meals - ah!  Besides inviting the whole town, there is the special menu and the 'other' menu.  And within the special menu, there is 'the Rector Major's table' and his diet.  That is normally assigned to the Salesian Sisters.  All in all, by the time he leaves the place, everyone is so exhausted, we all need a week to recover.  Certainly much more than a week, to recover from the financial expenses!

But here, things are very sober.  No extravagance, whatsoever.  True that he is coming to Chertsey, and he is visiting the school, the university and the parish.  But at none of these places, is there any 'extra' decoration or pomp.  Hell, we did not even clean the house!  But that's because it is cleaned periodically - and is clean!  Food, there is a grand meal - but that's only for 18 people, including the 8 confreres living here.  He is inaugurating the renovated School hall, but even there all that is planned is a short prayer, sprinkling of the holy water and perhaps a ribbon cutting or so.  That's it.  I don't think the hall is specially decorated or anything for this.  And it was ready and in use since September.

Both these procedures and attitudes towards the same event, for the same person, have their own reasons and advantages.  It certainly has much to do with our respective cultural norms as well - especially those concerning guests.  The one great advantage of the former (Indian) style is the way we get our children and youth involved.  And for them too it is a matter of great joy and privilege.  But for every other reason, I see a greater virtue in the latter style.  Again, for the youngsters.  We do not put up a show for someone, but live the high standard of cleanliness, order, functionality, all through.  Most importantly, everyone is respected - whether that be a simple technician coming in to do some repair work or the Bishop or the Rector Major.  Of course, we do not lay out the grand meal table for the former, but everyone is treated respectfully.  Even in the case of the grand meal, the content of the meal is the same we would have for our feast days or b'day celebrations.  Not over the top!

I remember a confrere in the Province serving the Regional, during his official Canonical visit to the community, in a steel plate and tumbler!  His argument, "He is coming to share in our day-to-day life.  And this is exactly how we live our day-to-day life.  Why buy special crockery and exquisite glasses for his visit?"  I, for one, am perfectly in total agreement with that confrere.  

Celebrating the past

Over the last weekend we had the centenary celebrations of the Salesian school at Chertsey. Personally, I found the 'celebrations' light years apart from the way we celebrate such occasions back in India.  Not commenting on those aspects, there was (only) one thing that appealed to me: the celebration offering a possibility for past pupils to interact with one another. 

If the two days were packed with a heavily planned programme wherein there is some activity or the other to keep busy everyone, especially present students, the visitors (mostly past pupils) would have hardly any time to interact with one another. I like the idea of creating an ambience where they could chat and share and recall old days in their own spontaneous groups.  An informal, unorganised walk down memory lane in smaller groups would have really been a great refreshment.  The visitors then are free to relive and make new memories, without being passive recipients of some historic narration. 

Sacred Heart Battersea, anniversary celebrations

Today was the 125 anniversary of the consecration of the Sacred Heart Church at Battersea.  It was on this very day in 1893 that the Church was consecrated by Bishop John Cagliero in the presence of Don Rua and some other prominent members of the Salesians from Italy.  They made their way to London from Rome, in spite of not having money and in fact borrowing money from one of the neighbours in France! 

Well, the celebration itself was simple.  Nothing extravagant, by any Indian standard.  I'm sure it would have been very very different were it to be an Indian celebration.  However, I did like certain features of the whole celebration.  The Mass was simple - not long and winding.  Singing was the best I liked.  The choir had no mikes and before the Mass the conductor, invited the congregation to join and sing along.  The music was minimal - one keyboard, a couple of violins and a box guitar.  Hymns were something we could all join in and sing along.  The archbishop of Southwark was the main celebrant, but the responsibilities for different things were all distributed.  A deacon read the gospel, another priest from the US preached the (short) homily.  Fr Cereda joined the blessing of the Church and congregation.  The various aspects of the liturgy were in different languages, rightly reflecting the diverse congregation which makes up the Church at Battersea.  Children were everywhere!  Long, a really long line of altar servers.  One read the reading.  The intercessions were by different children. The responsorial psalm was sung by children.  The only 'decoration' in the Church was a string on either side of the aisle with all the flags of the different countries.  Nothing else!  Of course, for the occasion the Church was painted.  But no other decoration strung or stuck or put up. 

The whole Mass, including the short presentation (a song and procession and handing over of the various national flags), presentation of gifts to former parish priests and helpers, vote of thanks, a few words by Fr Cereda before the final blessing took exactly 1 hr and 30 mts.  By any British standard that is 'too long' but by every Indian standard that was lightning fast!  Of course, there were other aspects that could have been done better (not prolonged) - sound system, for example - but on the whole I liked it all. 

Simple Jubilee

Today was the Diamond Jubilee celebrations of the Ordination of Fr Peter Burns at Farnborough.  I thought it would be a rather pompous event with many in attendance.  It turned out to be a simple ordinary Mass and lunch.  Among the guests there was the Provincial, the former provincial and a couple of confreres from Bolton.  There were only three ladies for Mass: the two cooks of the house and another lady whom I did not know.  There were no natural flowers on the altar, no flexis printed or notice board or backdrops.  No gloria or solemn blessing at the end.  The Mass was in the school chapel.  In all we would have been about 25 of us in all.  Not even one each for the number of years he has been ordained!  I found it quite odd.  I really thought there'd be many many people.  Perhaps they were not invited!

More interesting was the person of Fr Peter himself.  Neither did he preside over the Mass, nor did he preach the sermon.  He was at one end of the altar as the rector of the community presided and preached during the Mass.  The Provincial was just another con-celebrant.

No pomp or glamour. But every bit of the Mass was well prepared.  A booklet for each participant with the readings, hymns and some photos of his.  The Missal was marked and ready.  Fr Pat accompanied the music with a box guitar.  The prayer of the faithful was printed out.  No grand felicitation or talks about Fr Peter.  After lunch the Rector handed him an envelope (with the 'Queens' picture, I guess!) and Fr Gerry too handed an envelope and said a few words.

Br Michael Delmer with his crutches listening to Fr Peter

Fr Peter broke into a jig when they sang as he cut the cake!

Fr Gerry spoke a few words...

Most hilarious was Fr Peter's "speech" - lasted no more than 3 minutes.  He concluded: "Do unto others, before they do to you!" 

The everydayness

This temptation to do something great is always there.  Most often we choose the grand than the simple.  Grandiosity is a great attraction, not just for the rich and powerful, but for everyone, even the poor and lowly. Most of us spend a lifetime waiting, planning, preparing, hoping for the 'great event' in our life... forgetting to relish the normal, mundane, 'everydayness'.

Pre-advent Christmas

In India, there was this repeated reminder by some, not to cut-short Advent and begin Christmas celebrations half-way through Advent.  However, here in UK, even before Advent has commenced, the marketing, advertising and shopping for Christmas has already begun!  For the last two weeks, practically every newspaper, TV, radio and internet channel has ads for Christmas gifts and purchases.  Odd, but true!

Process vs Event

By now, all the celebrations of the Province Jubilee and the visit of the Rector Major would have concluded in the Province.  All, especially those in the Provincial house, coordinating the events would surely let out a big sigh of relief.  I also hope that all the planned events went on smoothly and will do some good too.

My fear is that these events remain as mere 'shows' and not as valuable moments of animation.  The 'celebration' takes over and not the preparation and the follow up later.  The visit of the Rector Major tends to be the big event, rather than one of the main events in a process.  I guess we are basically programmed that way.  We move from event to event, rather than through a series of well connected and meaningful processes. A simple analysis of the time, resources (especially financial), energy and personnel we spend in making events spectacular in contrast to initiating and sustaining meaningful processes, will prove this point.

Feastdays with children

I never really could fully comprehend the following extract from Don Bosco's autobiography Memoirs of the Oratory of Saint Francis De Sales, (p 115)... not until my stay at Ramanthapur!

On the feast of All Saints, Dr Borrelli and I prepared to hear confessions. But everybody wanted to make their confession; what could we do? There were more than two hundred children but only two confessors.  One boy was trying to light a fire; another decided to put it out. The one brought wood, the other water. Buckets, tongs, shovel, jug, basin, chairs, shoes, books - everything was turned topsy-turvy while they were trying to tidy things up! 

Perhaps my formal, organised and structured living in the formation house prevented me from really understanding this scene.  How could there be so much of a confusion?

It was not until I reached Ramanthapur, the rehab home for street children and started involving the boys in preparation for feast days or major celebrations that I not only understood this scene but became a first hand witness to it.  Those boys would be so eager to do anything you ask them to do!!  They only wanted to be part of the ongoing preparations and celebrations.  The greatest punishment would be to ask them to sit quiet!  Entrusted with a responsibility, boys would go to any extent to see that the task is done - even though in the process greater damage is done in another field or portion of the house!  If two of them are assigned to laying the carpet on the stage, they would make sure it is there - but don't ask what became of the backdrop which was worked on for more than a week and was already in place, until these two masters arrived on scene!

Their excitement and goodwill would be brimming over and one cannot even scold them for causing a greater monetary or physical damage.  Even if one did scold, the boy would only be perplexed for just a short while, with that strange look, "What wrong could I have done?" And before you know it, the excitement of the boy has doubled and he shoots off, assuring you, "Don't worry Brother, I'll do it better this time!"  Oh, boy!

That the event itself goes on smoothly and there is no real catastrophe (that the buildings at least are in their own place) is in itself a great miracle under these circumstances.

All said and done, it is worth the risk and perhaps the only meaningful way of truly celebrating a feast with the boys! 

Band-bajaa

I volunteered to drop a visiting priest at an ordination ceremony this morning.  Just as I dropped him at the venue, in walked the Archbishop, the Provincial and the ordinanadee.  All of them preceded by the band and each of them garlanded.  

The first thing that came to my 'pictoral' mind when I viewed that scene was that of devotees taking a sacrificial lamb for slaughter!

The whole scene of the band and procession and photographers and everyone paving the way for the "dignitaries" was so distasteful and nauseating that I speedily departed from the venue.  

I've thrived without any of these things so far and I hope no one will think of such fanfare for my funeral either. 

Baking Christmas

Now that Christmas is over, so is the busy involvement in the bakery.  For the first time, except for the fact that we were baking cakes for Christmas, there was anything "Christmas" in all that I was involved in.  It has been over a week since I attended Mass, leave alone participate in the morning or evening prayer and sit for my meditation.  It was been a crazy running around and trying to coordinate the baking, securing orders, distribution and setting up of stalls and what not.

At times my conscience pricked me when I crossed the chapel to reach my room - going to my room itself was a rare occurrence! So I'd step in to wish Him and say a brief 'hello'.  So now as I sit back and review my Christmas this year, there is hardly anything related to my previous living of this solemnity.  This is the first time I've been involved in something so much that I've totally lost track of the usual mode of celebrating Christmas.

Did I miss prayer?  Did I miss Him?  Did I feel His presence?  Well I may not have been a good religious, in that pietistic sense but somehow I feel, I have grown in relationship... even with Him. My understanding of my boys has matured (at least a bit) and so has my rapport with the staff and other confreres.  Not that all is rosy and perfect... far from it.  But my relationship is more genuine and open.

So much for a baking Christmas!

Mockery of communion

I've always had an allergy for people's craze for food.  By now I've realized that very many in south India have this notion that serving food on a special occasion is one of the best means of doing good.  I totally disagree!  When there is the parish feast, everyone is served a meal... lavish arrangements are made and all and sundry are fed that one day.  Huge amounts are spent for this alone.  What's surprising is that very many who can comfortably afford and have a great meal at home, do not mind eating on this particular occasion.  Mind you, it isn't about eating like a 'family' or anything.  There is only 'eating'!!  I fear we have reached a point where we invite people to a celebration, especially parish feasts, and people come not for the communion (and I do mean the Holy Eucharistic communion alone), but merely for the food after the Mass.  And how does this event unfold?  Everyone rushes for food, as though they have been starving for ages (most fear coming later or giving preference for others would mean running the risk of not getting food later); Children are sent at 'courier boys' to fetch as much as can be carried home (great way of teaching children good manners!);  seating is always as per "my" people, none try to mingle with everyone or those from other families or strangers;  there is nothing of sharing or sacrificing, each one is up to grab as much as possible and woe to the Parish Priest and those serving food, if food runs short (that's announced and proclaimed for ages as the worst feast ever... naturally, every Parish Priest would like to 'outdo' his predecessors by providing more and 'better' food);  finally, the whole place is so littered with plates, paper/plastic cups and food (yeah, food!) that it would put Genghis Khan (and his battlefield) to shame.

High time the clergy first gets its priorities right and then helps everyone in the Parish realize this mediocrity of reducing a feast to a eating gala.  

The Value of Patriotism

The other day we celebrated the Independence day in the school with a solemn march past, drill, a couple of interesting cultural programmes and of course, a string of talks and messages. During the staff evaluation that followed, I made an intervention: As educators we need to set imparting values as targets not success. Children are sharp and they are quick to grasp what our emphasis is on. They naturally and unconsciously pick up that. If our success indicators are smooth running of the programme, a grand show, a big round of applause... then they learn to work towards these. On the other hand, if my emphasis is on values and principles and more specially on children themselves, and if I am willing to sacrifice success for even one child, then they learn that people are more important than programmes. That I am esteemed more than an event.

On further reflection, I asked myself, what patriotic value did we impart to the children on the occasion of the independence day? That patriotism meant merely a day of celebration? Nothing before or nothing after? That they learnt a form of discipline, by way of standing in a straight line, marching to a beat, performing a particular exercise or dance... basically a discipline; yeah, that is true. But I ask again, is that all we educators are capable of imparting? I tried to view it from the child's mind: patriotism means honouring the national flag on August 15 – the rest of the year it is rotting in some cupboard pushed around in the corners. Patriotism means singing Vande Mataram and marching left-right-left – what about love of country or countrymen?

Survival/Business tactic?

The other day I had to go to town to purchase a new modem.  On the way I could not but notice the rush in some of the clothing stores, in view of the coming feast of Dassera.  What made it all the more noticeable was the display of new cars and banners notifying the ongoing 'lucky draw'.  Shops were promising not just another saree or a piece of clothing but a brand new car for the winner of the draw. I was told that the eligibility criterion for participating in the lucky draw is that the present purchase ought to be of goods worth more than Rs 15,000 to 20,000.

I could not but help compare it with the 'Year of Faith', 'Bicentenary celebrations' and the upcoming 'Year of Consecrated Life'.  And I was wondering if the Church and the Congregation learnt such survival / business / progressive / revival (whatever one may prefer to call them) tactics from the managerial skills or the businessmen picked it up from the Catholic institutions?  

Of dreams, passion and priorities

Today in the college, the students are busy celebrating the Cultural Day.  The whole students group was divided into some 8 to 9 groups based on their language and cultural background. India being rich in its cultural diversity, there is quite a bit of excitement and enthusiasm in the air.  Watching the level of involvement and excitement that has been so since the last couple of days, brings to mind a comment made by one well-intentioned gentleman a couple of years ago after viewing a cultural programme put up by Seminarians, "Is this place an academy of dance and performing arts or an institute of spirituality and religious academics?"

He had a point in making that comment.  Our students love these sort of extra-curricular activities.  Which student or youngster wouldn't? Well that's not what I grudge.  What nags me is the disproportional investment and misplaced enthusiasm. There is a philosophical symposium coming up this weekend, besides the regular classes and academic assignments or take even the daily class participation.  It is mostly lacklustre or involving just a handful.  There isn't a balance at all!

One particular reason that I can think of is the following:  students here are here not because they want to, but because they have to!  Other places, whichever field of specialization the institute is offering, have students who are keen and are there because they love to be there!  Being there and getting involved in what the place has to offer is their dream, their passion. Most seminarians seem to lack precisely that: dream(s), passion!

Tugboats: A Bicentenary Initiative

As part of bicentenary of Don Bosco's birth, Br Manu came up with this good idea of bringing forth a sort of short publication (online/pdf format) for private circulation.  So the first issue is out.  Anyone willing to have a glance can shoot off an email to Manu (manunsdb@yahoo.com).  The title of the publication is TUGBOATS.

CONGRATULATIONS to Manu for his initiative and brave effort!

Something that I'd like some to dwell upon - myself included, but perhaps at a later stage than the prejudiced mind that I dwell in currently - is the following:

Is this bicentenary celebration (and such similar programmes) an overflow of our love and commitment to God and young people, or a glossy substitute to camouflage the decline or lack of it? 

Or

Is this initiative (and such as this) a genuine expression of our gratitude for Don Bosco and service of the young, or a desperate attempt to enliven our Salesian charism which somehow seems to have lost its sheen, down the ages? 

Making every feast afresh

At the end of a hectic day and a very long but intense and meaningful preparation and celebration of our community day and the jubilee celebration of two of our confreres on November 25, Fr Maliekal (one of the Jubilarians) concluded the day stating thus:  We Salesians of Don Bosco have a way of making every feastday special and vibrant.  We build every feast anew. Not merely repeat the same old things but do things from the start all afresh and new.  Therefore there is no boredom or redundancy in our celebration, we start every preparation and celebration from the scratch.

I firmly agree with him.  This was also one of the reasons for the bigger crowd of audience this year. Most of them congratulated me and explicitly mentioned that they love the novelty and creativity that they get to see here in the programmes put up by the Seminarians.  It is primarily for that they come to the Seminary.  And this time they certainly were not disappointed... neither were any of us!

I certainly enjoyed this year, though it was tough managing and coordinating alone, but the Brothers did very well and each did their role to the best of their abilities. They too are very happy with the effort they put in and the consequent result that was there for all to see.