Remembering Sr Modesta

I can't but think of Sr Modesta today.  Not that I'm mourning her death... I'm actually happy that I've had the chance to meet and know her. 

She was not a very gifted person, from what I know.  She had no special skills or talents, leave alone a world-class education or academic qualification.  I'm sure, she never held any 'privileged posts' during her lifetime.  Am quite sure she never even made it to being appointed 'principal' to any rural school.  I know for sure that she taught hindi in schools, but that's it.  Nothing more.  Yet, she endeared herself to so many people... to me.  What she lacked for in terms of academic excellence or intellectual calibre, she made up (more than merely balancing) through her personal relational skills.  She was a 'other-centred' person.  Her heart and mind sought out what others felt and needed, much more than what she needed for herself.  She was contended with herself, no matter how little she possessed or the lack of titles she was bestowed with.  What she was blessed with, she made the most.  She was happy and that happiness she gladly and generously shared with others. 

Life is better because you are happy; but life is best when others are happy because of you.

The following quote, perfectly sums up her life:

Vulnerability and community building

People often say that trust is the bonding factor in a relationship.  In religious life too trust plays a very important role in building communities and lasting bonds.  However,  I also believe that prior to trust it is vulnerability that plays a crucial role.  Not just being vulnerable but recognising and having the courage to acknowledge that vulnerability to those whom I live with.  That indeed is risky and dangerous.  But there are no short cuts to forming real relationships.

Very often we as religious are reluctant to share our vulnerabilities.  No one feels great or is pleased to share one's own weaknesses.  All our achievements and strengths are broadcast but the weaknesses and failures we keep them private.  That is natural.  But in order to gain someone's trust the best way is to share with the person something personal, so that the person feels that the other is not just mouthing good things but sharing something of his or her own self.  What often keeps us from sharing our weaknesses from one another is the fear that the other may use them against me or make them public.  Genuine fears but mostly prejudiced. 

I've seen myself the strength of confreres working together once they have bonded well.  Individually they may not be exceptionally talented or gifted but once they learn to trust each other, we complement one another and the tasks at hand become adventures.  Communities that are willing to sit and share, talk, exchange not just plans and ideas but feelings, emotions and requests for help, have a greater degree of strength and effectiveness in apostolate.  The element of witness is truly inspirational. 

Choices

Speaking of choices, i couldn't but notice the plethora of choices my own nephew and niece have at home.  I say this in comparison with my boys at DBNJ Ramanthapur.  Not that the boys at Ramanthapur had no choices absolutely, but in very many matters my nephew and niece have abundant choices. Be it in matter of food, clothing, recreation and toys or in more profound things as education.

Mummy would ask them individually practically before every meal, what they wanted for meals.  Very often half way through her preparation of the asked menu, a different 'order' would reach the kitchen - that too loud and clear from the comfort of the living room with the TV remote in hand and eyes glued to the TV!  Compare that with my boys at Ramanthapur: they get what is served! They hardly have a say.  Almost a similar tale about other things as well.

So I wonder, which is better: having multiple options to choose from or limited options?  Or perhaps the question should be what makes one better: Choices or Choosing?  Of course the act of choosing itself is a great teacher.

The duck that drowned

A man once owned a small duckling and one day all of a sudden it drowned! The autopsy report said that the bird lacked a particular kind of oil which a duck's feathers naturally have.  Due to this lack of a natural ingredient, which was quite odd, the feathers soaked in the water and naturally the duck drowned.

Fr Basani Prakash, the retreat preacher, for our Brothers narrated this small anecdote to the Brothers as part of his homily this evening.

Lesson: If we do not develop what is naturally bestowed upon us, we take it to our grave much before time and with no use whatsoever, neither to others nor to ourselves! 

The fire within...

The other day Fr Maliekal was speaking about Moses and his interaction with the Egyptians, his fellow Hebrews and his subsequent encounter with God. He highlighted the transition of Moses from one who was all strength and power (wherein he tries to settle things with the oppressive Egyptian and intervenes during the fight between the two Hebrews) to one who surrenders to God and His plan (before the burning bush) and that too with lots of reservations - I'm unable to speak, I'm not courageous!  What happened to that vigorous Moses? What happened to his fire?

I believe this is a real transformation.  I set out on my own and then in due time and occasion ask God to add His bit to my effort.  It is not that I initially set out in rebellion against God or out of pride.  No, not at all!  Rather I set out in respect and confidence that I've been blessed by God with those skills and energies to do my bit on His behalf.  As much as I can, I do... for what I'm able to achieve, is again not totally my own, but something gifted by Him.

Contrary to this strategy is the one wherein I 'surrender' outright and do nothing! This is a real lame excuse, according to me, of very many who call themselves spiritual or pious.  If God did not consider you and me worth anything, He'd have made us as sticks or stones, not human beings!  So rather than insult the creator or one who gifted me with what I have, I put to use these to do my bit.  That's prayer; that's respect; that's partnership; that's treating God as a person! 

Praise and worship...

Yesterday morning the readings were quite interesting and so was Fr Tom's homily. He focussed on the use - or abuse - of the tongue. Citing the Psalms and Proverbs, he spoke of the three vices accumulated due to the improper use of the tongue: lies, flattery and boasting. He was quite frank in sharing his experiences here at the seminary, where Brothers would boost him up, or flatter him for some petty permission or favour. He stated that all these three vices lead one to sin, the sin of selfishness.

Later during the breakfast Fr K.T. was laughing away saying, "Praise and worship" and I really didn't catch him till I understood the context in which he was using the phrase. He was using that phrase as a euphemism for the readings and the content of the homily of the day. Brothers are really good at this 'buttering'. However, they don't try it or even dare try it with some whom they perceive as 'hot' - their 'butter' melts, not the person!

Goodness and Fidelity

Over the years I've most often heard past pupils of the Seminary rejoice and thank the community for having nurtured their talents and skills when they were pupils here. By 'talents and skills' what they mean is playing harmonium, singing, organising, playing basketball... I find myself facing this question: Is this the real thing that we taught them? Is there not anything further and deeper than this that we tried to imbibe in the students?

The sermon of Fr KT yesterday morning was quite refreshing in this light. He spoke of two necessary 'talents' in the stages of formation: goodness and fidelity. He questioned and challenged the Brothers to grow in these areas, develop these virtues: being able to discern what is good and strive for it; and once you're on the path, be faithful to it, come what may.

Salesians in the new 'playgrounds'

While discussing about the whole issue of personal media and the rampant growth of technology and media, an analogy came to my mind which I shared with the group this afternoon. When we were Brothers about to begin our Practical Training, one of the guidelines given to us was how to go about in the playground. We were clearly told, that during games it is our prime duty to ensure that the boys learn and enjoy the game. It is certainly no time or place to dominate the game or show off our skills.

I think there is something similar happening with communication technology and the Salesians today. There are those who shy away from all modern things (those who never reach to the playground itself - that's quite bad in itself, and Don Bosco would certainly not approve of it either). Then there are those who are present in the 'playground' but all the while dominating the game. They use the gadgets and the 'means' available to showcase their own talents and skills. The others in and around the 'playground' are just left to watch you. Unfortunately this mode too is quite idiotic for the following reason: earlier there was only one football and if the Salesian is all the while owning it, the boys can do nothing but watch him. However, if a Salesian does the same in the new 'playground', he will soon find himself all alone since the boys would have created a new 'playground' for themselves elsewhere. Today each one has a 'ball'!

Ultimately what is required of a Salesian with respect to the emerging 'playgrounds'? His meaningful presence, just like before! He may not be the best footballer but all the same he is with the boys, encouraging them, guiding them and making sure that all enjoy and learn the game, especially those who are normally left out by the boys themselves.

Passion and Talent

This morning during Mass Fr Louis cited a very inspiring quote:

Where there is passion, talent is created or invented.

I suppose it is the truth. Whenever we are passionate about something, we somehow find the time, talent and the resources to accomplish that what we are really after. Whereas when we are not interested in something, however much talented we may be, the work is never accomplished or complete. The worst I fear is passionless talent! It is as good as a bald man living in the temple town of Tirupati (where most of the population is with a shaved head) having a comb; it is neither useful to him nor to others. The comb in itself, is neither good nor bad, but what use is it to anyone, if there is no real need of it. So too, what great worth is a talent if there is no passion to achieve, be, do, something with it.