Admission and denial

During the last lap of Jesus' journey on earth there are two people, both among his closest group, who deny him.  There is Judas who innocently asks, "Surely, not I Lord?" during the Last Supper to Jesus' statement of one betraying him.  Then there is Peter who denies Jesus thrice - after vehemently affirming his loyalty to Jesus.  At least Peter did not deny Jesus on his face. 

However, both repent.  Judas feels sorry and approaching the Jews, returns the 30 pieces of silver, in exchange for Jesus.  Peter repents and weeps bitterly. Both realise that what they did was not in conformity to what Jesus would have wanted them to do.  Both try to make amends.  The only difference is that Peter felt strong enough to live with his mistakes, in the hope that he would be accepted by his fellow companions - and most importantly, by Jesus.  Jesus knew that he would betray, but did not condemn him.  On the other hand, Judas did not have anyone to turn to.  He felt he had let down everyone and none would now accept him - not even the Lord.  He dies alone, or rather he dies a very pathetically lonely death.  He decided for himself that no one would give him a second chance.  And the ones whom he approached (the Jews) only mocked him.  Jesus, his main victim,  was beyond his reach now.

In that sense, his agony was greater than that of Peter.  His was an agony of loneliness.  The same loneliness that led to Jesus sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane.  The same loneliness that made Jesus cry out 'God, my God, why have you abandoned me?'  If only were Judas to admit his guilt to someone, we'd have another excellent model of human weakness overcome! 

Spiritual Direction

In the Acts, the incident of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch offers a simple but profound analogy for spiritual direction - for that matter any discernment process.

1. The felt need of the eunuch for a better, clearer understanding based on a sincere desire and a prior attempt to learn. 
2. The competence of Philip to be able to grasp the eunuch's present situation, and offer him a holistic explanation and guide him to a deeper meaning. 

It is always a three dimensional process: the willingness on the part of the one seeking and the competency of the one offering.  Overseeing this whole process is the Holy Spirit! 

Seeking guidance

Accepting to talk to someone at their request is risky business! You never know what they wish to speak about and where you'd end up the whole conversation. But it is always a great GREAT help to the one seeking to speak to someone, if only I am sensible and willing to listen with a patient ear. I've had one such experience today. The person started with something very much on her mind right now, these past couple of days. Call it divine inspiration or whatever, when at a particular point I expressed my sincere observation about the person. She completely broke down and what followed next was anything but close to what we began talking about! She shared a particular painful experience she did undergo quite a while ago which she realized is the cause of her strained relationship with someone else. Once this was acknowledged, the initial matter was not the primary focus at all! From my little experience, I desisted offering a solution or a remedy; least of all offer a pious suggestion or activity! I merely let her speak and when she felt she was done, I merely shared with her one of my own past experiences asking her to see if there was anything that she would like to try from what I shared. Uff!

Makes my vague aspiration to equip myself with some counselling and spiritual direction skills more formidable...!