Financial woes or family woes? or both?

With all the money I have for the Seminary, I still spend days calculating every pie and planning for the time ahead.  There are some of our domestic helpers who have more debt than I have in my bank account.  All that they have is debts!  They survive from debt to debt. They borrow from one to return to another and then from yet another, to return to the second one.  The surprising part of it all is the callous attitude of the grown up children. A particular staff member has four children, all beyond their school age. The husband committed suicide 6 years ago.  She has her mother living with her. The eldest daughter was married off last February.  That the eldest daughter, a teacher by training and profession, had her own demands adding to the list of dowry requirements from the groom's side, was shocking enough for me to realise that something is really amiss her.  The second daughter is 'idle' at home.  Every time I ask what is she doing, all the lady replies is that she is sitting at home!  The third son is a sample! He was studying in a college (mind, all the studies expenses of the children were borne by the Seminary) and of late decided to quit and work. He worked for two months and one fine evening when the mother reached home found a TV set in her hut!  The son spent his salary on buying a TV! Not a pie to her mother to refund the loans or some urgent requirements of the house.  The only other child is still in a boarding and seems doing his studies well.  

I've told this lady time and again to speak to her children and as I said, give a rap or two... (some of the answers and questions she has reported to me of her own children are so stinging and crude, they would put to shame a sworn enemy!). Or atleast tell them to meet me, so that I can drive some sense into them.  Now looks like the mother has absolutely no say in what they do. All that these three children living with her (even her eldest daughter is now back in her house) do is eat, borrow from the shop without even a word of it to the mother and then live as if they were born to the queen of England! 

Marriage

Paidamma's daughter, Gowri

The day before yesterday was the marriage of one of our staff members, and another staff member's daughter too was getting married. So in the evening, three of us set out to wish the couples as representatives of the Seminary.  Paidamma's daughter, Gowri was getting married close to her house (if one my call it that at all).  Paidamma's house itself is nothing but a hut.  I always thought that all in Gollalapalem (the nearest village to the Seminary) had pucca houses.  I was rather humbled to learn that of all people our own kitchen staff did not have a proper house.  Anyway, we wished the couple and then moved on to the next marriage venue, that of Edurlamma, another kitchen staff.

Edurlamma, during the short thanksgiving gathering,
we had in her honour a couple of days ago.

In the next place, the bride and the groom were not given anything to eat the whole day!  The were allowed to eat only the following day.  I was wondering if it was some sort of punishment?  Anyway, she seemed happy. Her husband is an auto driver and appeared quite a ruffian.  And knowing Edurlamma, I barely doubt that she'd soon settle him!  

About "level"

I just had a very informal and jovial discussion at the tea table with our domestic staff.  We gathered together to meet the Provincial and after he left, we (the seven staff members and myself) sat for some more time.  As always the case, whenever they relax and feel at home, they start pulling the leg of past and present staff (Priests and Brothers). Along the way they share quite a few insights, given the fact that half of them are Hindus and view things differently from the way that we view things.  However, they have been in the Seminary for more than a decade and hence know also the inner workings.  Today, of the many things, they shared and joked about they mentioned one past staff member who completely 'changed' when he was appointed at a higher post elsewhere.  So much so, he did not even wish them when he left the house.  Kasi, our cook, said, "I thought only politicians and local goons are conscious of their 'level' (referring to the feeling of status and posts). But after I saw him change his attitude so drastically, I realised whether there or here, once the level increases, everything changes!"

That's wisdom from ordinary lay people who slave for us everyday of the year!

Staff outing

I accompanied five of our seven staff members for a day out.  They were asking for a picnic since long and I gladly obliged since they work really hard and are sincere about their responsibilities.  We visited Kailasgiri, Vuda Park (though the were expecting to see it in its glorious past) and respecting their desire I took them for a movie to INOX at the Beach Road.  They were quite happy with that new addition to their list of things seen!  We also had our lunch in the multiplex itself, but I'm sure they did not enjoy it - neither did I.

The last lap was a long walk along the beach.  Besides the walk, it was also an occasion for them to talk freely, laugh and pull one another's leg, imitate some mannerisms of staff and students and recall some of the past experiences.  All in all, they were happy. 

Marriage woes, even otherwise

Being the first of the month, I distributed the salaries for the staff and did spend quite some time talking to them just about anything.  One of the main points for discussion or you might call it a debate was the point of dowry, marriages and caste system.  I was surprised to hear from the kitchen staff that not only is dowry given away when a daughter is married off, the parents of the girl have also to give a portion of the dowry for the boys' sister, if any!  That would be to say that the bride's family has to pay not only money for the bride but also for her new sister-in-law!  Gosh!

And if there are a couple of marriages in the villages, everyone - literally, everyone! - in the village, and more especially those closely related to the families are all bankrupt that month.  Reason: the gift they OUGHT to offer at the wedding function.  This is kept record of and when there is a marriage in the visitors family, the one now receiving has to pay something MORE than what was given to them!  And so if there are more than 4 wedding functions that a family has to attend in a month, the 'gift' would drain their whole month's salary! And if there is a fifth one, they'll borrow and 'gift' the amount!  While the staff resented this whole procedure, none would try to break this vicious circle - all for fear of what 'they would say'.  ... the same rationale is given for all matters concerning inter-caste marriages, dowry, girl-child atrocities.

Having heard, spoken and debated with them at length, I only said aloud, "Thank God, I was not born in Gollalapalem (their village), and not as a female!"

Farms hands vs gadgets!

Here at the Provincial house, Hyderabad the confreres have installed a biometric unit for the staff of the house to register their time of arrival and departure from the house for their daily work.  Every morning and evening, invariably there is always a sort of anxiety among the staff as I have seen it in the past three days.  For the office staff there isn't much of a problem. The put in their finger exactly and the machine instantly recognises the print.  It is the farm hands who really have to slog it out with the machine.  A couple of them still seem new to using it and secondly, but most importantly, their hands are so callous that the machine seems not to identify the person!

So much for machines making life easier for us! 

Formators vs Teachers?

There's something that I wanted to pen before it escapes my mind.  During the SAFC meeting in Goa, Fr Rayanna made an intervention which I initially found absurd.  However, the second time round when he put forward the same point, I found myself thinking ... thinking hard.  His point was that there is a big difference between teachers and formators.  Now this is something totally unheard of in my Salesian context, I've never come across this at all.  But the point that he was making was this: In our formation settings, there is absolutely no distinction between the two.  So as formators we end up taking classes, following up their academic progress and everything else too.  Other places there are teachers and professors who teach and formation guides who follow up.  Given the dearth of personnel, we don't have this option.

Fr Rayanna's point was if this was an option there would have been a greater chance that we could fulfill all the academic demands of Vatican and what not while investing ourselves fully into the formative process too. I do see a point in what he was expressing, perhaps because I've been through what he is presently undergoing by way of dearth of personnel.  However, I'm still not convinced if that divide is essential or even possible?  I'll need to get my head around that a bit... 

Milking the community

Yesterday I had a call from one of the confreres who is serving as Principal and administrator in a particular house.  He was narrating how the domestic helpers were trying to bluff him. Here are the instances...

The cow which was regularly yielding about 6 litres of milk suddenly began giving only two litres. When asked how come, this sudden reduction, the reply was: "It looks like the cow has realised we are running short on fodder and today is the last bit of it." 

Even those two litres never made it to the table.  There appeared only one litre!  When asked, the cook replied, "Well, milk evaporates when heated!" 

Balancing justice and charity

During the recent visit of Fr Maria Arokiam, he stressed the need to ensure just wages for our non-teaching staff. He was clear in stating that charity needs to be avoided and justice to be meted out. Now that's a rather thin line dividing them both. Most often, people prefer charity (not to be confused with love) than justice. Of course, an employee would love to have a hike in his or her salary. But refuse him or her a 'helping hand' in their trouble, because you've been just, by way of giving a good wage, and you'll earn their wrath!

However, I find myself agreeing much with what Fr Maria stated: less of charity and justice for sure.

Survival!

Yesterday one of the reflections was based on the idea of Karl Marx and his idea that the society will take care of individuals and hence individuals need not worry about private property (over and above anything else). Then there was this whole idea of alienation of the working class people. However, the Brother applying these ideas to our domestic staff, the gardener in particular, wrote the following:

Unless he works hard he can't survive his family and himself.

(emphasis added) I immediately understood that he actually meant that unless he worked hard, he will not be able to sustain his family and himself. But then on a second reading, it struck me that given the nature and situation of our gardener, the original statement also holds water - albeit in a different sense!

At Annavaram

Today was quite a day... I escorted our staff (seven of them) for a picnic to Annavaram. For half of them it was a pilgrimage and for the rest it was a picnic. However, what's important is that they felt happy and nice about the day out. I did what I could, constantly reminding myself that what I think is 'picnic-stuff' is not on their menu of 'picnic-ingredients'. So I let them decide the place, mode, strategy and all things possible. I merely accompanied and financed the trip. At the end of the day, I gather that they were happy about the day out.

A few interesting things that I could not but notice of the place. (Of course, know that I belonged to the latter half of the group). There was more than just the sanctum sanctorum to view. Luckily there wasn't much of a crowd. And added to that the best part of the queue was that it stopped progressing half way through right where we were: it was lunch time. And so we waited for half an hour. That gave me time to view the pooja (ceremonial rite

) being performed by the Hindu Priests in the temple for couples. Sai Ram, tells me that nearly a 1000 Priests earn their livelihood in the temple campus.

The other amusing thing was that there was a longer queue to purchase the prasadam than to visit the inner sanctuary. Later having tasted the prasadam I realised the secret. Perhaps it will take a little longer for people to 'taste' the divine. thing was that there was a bigger queue to purchase the prasadam, than to pay homage to the God, Satyanarayana! Later having tasted the prasadam, I

That Satyanarayana is a god formed out of the merger of the Trimurti - the top is Vishnu, the middle part Shiva and the lower part of the body is that of Brahma. That's the first time I heard that.

(That's our staff: Appa Rao, Sai Ram, Satyam, Annapurnamma, Edulamma, Kasi and Paidamma)

Down memory lane...

On reaching the Provincial house and interacting with the confreres and staff, the best compliment that I received was from one of the newly appointed cook. When I happened to meet her just outside the refectory, I politely smiled to which she smiled back and asked me, “Are you the Brother who were here earlier and who used to make everyone work with a smile?”

That and the joyful remembrance of the other staff members brought to my mind that at Kondadaba I barely laugh loud... certainly not as heartily and loud as I used to while in the Provincial house. Now that does not mean that I'm 'less happy' there than when I was here. Perhaps I was letting too much of my role (as dean of studies) overshadow me (as who I really am). That was perhaps my first insight or introspection, even before the retreat began.

The two silver coins...

This morning prior to my departure to the town for some work, the cooks asked me to deposit part of their provident fund collection in the bank to their earlier collection and make it into an FD (fixed deposit). The sum that they collectively handed over in cash to me, was about Rs 15,000. Add to that another 35,000 each (of three of them). And when I jokingly said that today I certainly am a rich man, they sincerely told me: "Brother, if you really need money you can use this amount. We do not need it immediately so you might very well use it for the Seminary now." I was fooling, but they weren't! I was quite touched by their generosity. Though it would not even suffice for our basic provisions for the month, they were offering me their hard earnings of 5 years - just like that! And didn't Jesus appreciate the widow who dropped in the two silver coins!!

Free flow of money

The maintenance and repair works in the community are progressing in full swing. There are the carpenters, painters, masons, and tomorrow on there will be the road repair team stationed here for two days. Luckily the permanent staff of the community is a very reliable one. They do more than what is expected or told to them. They see to very many things which they otherwise need not put their hands to. Their presence is a real great blessing.

Propelling all these patch up works is the currency in the administrator's table drawer. Earlier I was counting every pie, every bit of it. I very well remember the intense fight I had with Pratap while in Nashik over two rupees that he had to return to me. Today, the same Castilino is almost callous to hundreds and thousands of rupees!! What money can do to a person! Money just flows and to calculate the pros and cons of each and every pie is almost impossible. The only virtue I now try to practice is prudence... because anyhow I have to spend, so then at least let me spend it wisely. Once these 'currency-drainer works' are done with, I'll have to see how best to make use of the resources (human and material) we possess.

Laxmi's marriage

I am just back after the wedding of Laxmi, our kitchen staff. The hindu marriage rite was interesting: the ceremonies, rites, rituals, giving, taking, going around, use of rice, cloth, clothes, bananas, water, turmeric, colour powder, and not to be left out, confetti and spray too! Tradition going hi-tech! Laxmi too was very happy to see us present for the occasion. Moreover, there was hardly anyone from her village. Just Kasi, Edulamma, an elderly couple and a youngster. Not even her nearest of kin were present for the solemn occasion. So I am happy I went ... just for her to feel that there are someone for her too.

The climax of the marriage was the interesting fight that almost erupted and imagine who was in the thick of it? The pujari (priest) conducting the marriage himself!! Oh boy, it was a sight to see him boiling with anger and flexing his muscles at a comment someone made. Luckily they drew away the 'other contender'. Anyway, the marriage ceremony went on well. Hope her life too will sail smooth and happy for her.

Thanks, Laxmi

This afternoon we had a short felicitation gathering for Lakshmi, one of our cooks, as today was her last working day. She is getting married this weekend on February 12, 2011. The Brothers had collected some money which was handed to her by the course leaders and on behalf of them all, Naveen spoke a few words. I always thought there would be none worse than me for a Telugu speech... but after hearing Naveen, I feel proud! Anyway, Fr Devadas too appreciated her six year long service to the community and wished her well on our behalf. Asked to speak, I thought Lakshmi wouldn't, but she did stand up. After a couple of moments of silence, she blurted, "All are looking at me!!" Everyone burst out laughing. She then spoke just two sentences, and we were all in tears.

I do not have parents. All I know is Fr (pointing at Fr KT Jose, the Rector) as my father and Annapoornamma (another senior cook) as my mother. These two friends (pointing and Kasi and Yedulamma) of mine looked after me as their own younger sister. You all (referring to the Brothers) are my brothers. I am eternally indebted to you all!

She could not continue any more. Neither did we want to embarrass her further. We concluded with a prayer.

For an orphan, uneducated and typically rural girl to stand up before a group of 90 young men and speak with such meaning and depth, there has to be a driving force. It was surely her sincere commitment to her job and her confidence that this was her family.

God bless her!

Women on Jesus' last journey

This morning as I partook in the Way of the Cross with the staff of the Provincial house, a thought that struck me was the number of women who accompanied Jesus and had compassion on Him outnumbered the number of men who were with Jesus. I am sure there were more men than women at any given point of the last journey of Jesus from the point of condemnation to the Calvary. Yet only at two stations of the cross we see men 'standing by Jesus': Simon of Cyrene and John the apostle (at the foot of the cross). In a way one could include Pilate too... in a generous inclusion. But see the number of times women come out in support of Jesus: His mother Mary (along the way, at the foot of the cross till his burial), Veronica who breaks the security cordon and wipes Jesus' face, the women of Jerusalem whom Jesus comforts, Mary Magdalene who is believed to be with Mother Mary, all along.

And what triggered this thought?... participating in the way of the cross, there were practically all the lady staff members, in comparison to the just three or four men!! My experience over the years has always confirmed this belief of mine: Women have a stronger and deeper sense of the Divine than men... so too is their faith!

Little joys of life mean much to many

Last evening when Fr Sudhakar invited me to come along to pick up the new four-wheeler from the showroom at Malakpet, I agreed immediately... I wanted to know where on earth was this place called 'Malakpet'. After reaching the place (the route I didn't learn, for I slept sometime halfway through!!) and finalising the formalities, it was a question of who would drive the new vehicle back home. There was Fr Thathi, Nagaraj (driver) and myself. Fr Sudhakar and Thathi offered me the keys, I bluntly refused. I really wanted Nagaraj to drive the vehicle. But since Thathi was there, I didn't want to state that Nagaraj ought to drive. After all, it was Fr Sudhakar's vehicle and he had the sole privilege of deciding.

My logic to let Nagaraj drive the new vehicle was simple. Driving that new vehicle home would mean nothing to me... absolutely nothing! But for him it would be an honour far beyond his imagination. For the driver to drive a new vehicle from the showroom to the house, for its maiden drive, .... Wow!! That's how it is among the drivers fraternity. Add to that the zing that he did it in spite of two of us (you could call us "owners") who could drive - but didn't!!

I drove back the old vehicle and to my joy, Thathi joined me, leaving Nagaraj to drive the new vehicle with Fr Sudhakar. I had a great surprise for me back at home when Nagaraj would not put off the engine of the new vehicle, without me taking at least a short drive with that!! I guess it was his way of expressing his gratitude for this privilege.
(Photo: The new vehicle was blessed today by Fr Noel. Nagaraj is on the far left of the photo.)