Convincing witness

Reflection for April 23

“My Lord and my God!”

Thomas is often referred to as the 'doubting Thomas'. That's because he refused to believe until he personally saw the risen Jesus. While this incident does say much about the conviction level of Thomas, it also speaks much about the convincing level of the remaining apostles. After all, Thomas spent three years in the company of these men. He ought to have learned to trust and respect them, as companions. But even after all those adventures they had together, the witness of the remaining apostles was not enough to convince Thomas.

More than being like Thomas, who had the guts to openly acknowledge his doubts and seek confirmation for what he was asked to believe in, we are like the remaining apostles. Firm in belief, but hardly convincing enough for those who know us, even those close to us. Of course, there are some who do not bother to notice or blindly refuse, just for the heck of it. But not always can the blame be labelled on others.

Thomas' declaration and transformation led him to travel across the globe and even to martyrdom in India, as a testament of his undying love for Jesus. This Divine Mercy Sunday offers us a good challenge to ask ourselves as to how deep is our faith and how genuine a witness are we to the risen Lord.

Thomas the seeker!

Fr Tom began his sermon during the Mass this morning, in honour of St Thomas, with a question: Is the title 'doubting Thomas' justified? His rationale was that the other apostles too did not believe in the Resurrection of Jesus till Jesus appeared to them.  Why then is Thomas singled out to be a doubter?

He then went on to classify those who doubt into two categories: those who ask or doubt for the heck of it. Such kind are never satisfied with any proofs or solutions.  They merely thrive on doubts.  The other kind are those who are sincerely in search of truth and therefore doubt.  Their attempt is sincere in as much as they seek to know and grow.  Thus Thomas was an honest doubter not a dishonest one or a pessimist.

Thomas was an honest man to acknowledge that he did not believe; and not be like very many in our classrooms who nod their head when asked if they understood the point just explained, while in fact, they understood nothing.  Thomas had the courage to acknowledge his disbelief and therefore was offered a chance to believe. And boy! What a conviction that follows!

Courage to believe

Fr TV Thomas telling that St Thomas was a courageous apostle was quite amusing to hear. However he had his reasons: he was not one to be coerced into conviction about Jesus. Perhaps he was confident that Jesus would not have appeared or been partial to others (appear only to them and not to him after his resurrection). Furthermore, when out of fear all the apostles were huddled inside the room, what was Thomas doing outside? Surely one needed guts to be out, when all your human thinking forced you to stay indoors.

As I started preparing for the reflections for February 2011, the first day's readings reflected exactly the same thought: the courage to believe, especially when others around are waiting and watching as to who would say what and take what step. The woman suffering from the hemorrhage, the official whose daughter was declared dead, chose to believe otherwise in spite of the whole crowd's opinion and 'conviction'. Now that really calls for courage... courage to believe. And it is exactly that which assures their triumph... 'Go, your faith has saved you.'

Witnessing...

It was exactly three years ago on this very day (Feastday of St Thomas) that I reached Shillong. Being a Sunday went to participate in the Holy Mass in the Parish ... Khasi Mass. Remember with great amusement the fact that in spite of carefully paying attention all through the Mass, I managed to understand just three words during the whole service: India, Madras, St Thomas!!! Anyway, speaking of life and stay in Shillong always floods my mind with beautiful memories... maybe sometime later!

Listening to Fr Anchu this morning give the sermon on his feastday, I was wondering why did St Thomas find it hard to believe his own companions... those with whom he shared three years of his life in close collaboration! And as if Fr Anchu read my mind, he proposed this idea which struck me as something quite possible: Perhaps the witness of those apostles who saw the Risen Lord was not convincing enough for Thomas! Thomas therefore, instead of relying on some second hand information - that too unconvincing! - or ride piggyback on somebody else's experience, decided to make his own experience before anything. And we all know the rest of the story... 'My Lord and my God!'

In the light of what I shared also when I heard of the death of Fr Moyalan, I now feel all the more convinced of the need to be convinced through our own experience and life. Not possible always, but that does not and should not exempt us from attempting to seek a personal experience. This idea will surely help us in viewing the 'doubting Thomas' in a new and different light. ... May his tribe increase!

God make me strong enough to be a witness and that too a credible witness of Yourself... not some dead monument to an ideology.