Meditation and mosquitoes

It is no rocket science to know that the two do not go together! With mosquitoes around one can hardly meditate. Besides the stings, the singing itself is dreadful. However, mosquitoes are perfect creatures as example of meditative efficacy. Their heat-seeking natural accuracy makes them perfect models of efficacy from good meditation practices. That singular focus is truly an outcome of good meditation skills. This whole reflection was my meditation this morning – all because I was swarmed by mosquitoes!

The Passion narrative and me

While reading the Palm Sunday gospel yesterday and today, I could not but notice the number of people involved in the event proper.  There are several characters who come in and leave in the life of Jesus, but in this episode alone, just the entry into Jerusalem and the events that unfold thereafter, there are a variety of people playing different roles.

There is the crowd itself that welcomes him today into Jerusalem.  Know not how many of them exactly knew what they were doing and saying as they praised and welcomed Jesus.  Just like another crowd that shouted 'Crucify him' before Pilate.  Most of them would certainly have heard of Jesus.  Although not all of them would know exactly what the praise or condemnation was for. 

Then, there are the apostles and the disciples around Jesus.  Peter stands out as the mascot or the representative of all those close to Jesus, but not close enough to stand up for him.  In the face of adversity, they crumble and retreat into their own securities.  Judas, on the other hand, feels he has no cover to hide under.  He seemed more plagued by guilt than Peter. 

Then there are the scribes, the elders, the Roman politicians - all seeking the 'common good'. They are all so caught up in the act of being leaders that they fail to question their real motives of framing Jesus.  Not all of them can be branded villains or evil.  They were only upholding the social order that they were taught all their life and what they truly felt called to protect.  Although some of them would have been schemers - not surprising, they were people in authority - the rest would have been honest men who felt responsible to maintain the existing order - social, political, religious. 

There is then Jesus himself.  Sometimes speaking, responding, challenging, but otherwise choosing to remain silent when he could have argued his way out.  He certainly knew how to use words and arguments to drive home his point.  I suppose, another Bible can be filled just with the thoughts running through his head from his intense meditative moments in Gethsemane until his last breath on the cross.  Oh, what would he have been thinking, especially at those moments he chooses to remain silent! 

Then there is me!  Re-imagining these scenes in my mind.  Sensing the pain of Jesus and in a way his resigned helplessness.  Reading or listening to this passage, knowing what the end is going to be, is not always easy.  Resurrection does not really come to mind and even if it does, offers little consolation - in the face of the ongoing agony and tension.  Then, suddenly there is a flash of light.  And my mind wanders trying to figure out, if that was caused by a car on the road or the one that turned into our cul-de-sac?  From there my mind goes on to remember that one of the car's battery is down and I need to tell the others to completely compress the clutch and the brake while turning on the ignition to get it started.  It takes a while to remind myself where I am and what I'm involved in. 

And the meditation continues. 

Meditation

These past few days I've been reviewing my own prayer life and one thing that certainly stands out as most evident is that I never really reaped the full benefits of my daily meditation.  Perhaps, that is because I never learnt the real method nor was I interested in it.  Prayer itself, though has come to mean more than before, still remains mostly a monologue.

Coming back to Meditation, most often it is time for dozing - or even snoring! For the rest of the times, I basically spend it in more or less the same manner as I do for personal prayer.  However, this whole 'lethargy' during mediation was quite sharply addressed by Fr Fermin D'Souza SJ.  During one of his talks he cited an analogy saying, if after a very long and tiring day, a good friend of mine comes to me and says that he has something to speak to me about, what do I do?  Would I say not now and turn him away or do I make time for him?  If I do make time for him, will I give him a listening ear or doze through his sharing?  I doubt so.  I certainly would pay attention to him, even if he is not speaking much - basically because he is my friend and if he has something to share it is something that I need to pay heed to.

Why then do I easily doze off or sleep royally during meditation?  The answer could be as simple as, Jesus is not yet my friend! 

Teresa vs Teresa

Our neighbouring parish is celebrating its feast today. St Teresa of Child Jesus is the patroness of the Parish (the actual feast was on October 2). Talking about the Saint, Fr Maliekal recounted an interesting conversation he had a couple of years ago with the vocation promoter of the Carmelite Sisters, to whose order St Teresa belonged.  The Sister seems to have said, speaking about the vocation coming in and going out...

The little Teresa with all her innocence and simplicity brings the girls in and the big Teresa (referring to St Teresa of Avila) with her interior castle and all that stuff frightens the girls out of the convent!  

That was really interesting. However the Sister had a point:  young people are easily attracted to simple, direct and short things of life.  But when things become complicated or involves complex reflection and scaling the heights of meditation, quite a few back off.

Well, there's no denying nor affirming this fact... just a matter of life! 

The 'opposite' attitude

Whenever I come across the word 'Vipassana' I am reminded of something that happened about seven years ago when I was at Karunapuram (Warangal dt of AP). I was then the assistant of the Brothers. The Rector was one who had completed all possible courses at Igatpuri (Vipassana). He used to lead the students in the morning meditation using the techniques he learnt there (or elsewhere, I'm not sure). The initial part mostly consisted of a set of 'clearing' exercises. However, he used to always begin the meditation and the exercises with the statement, "Let's start with a positive attitude!"

Months later, he had to attend a meeting and was absent. He had already delegated the course leader to take his place as leader of the meditation. That morning, as usual we all gathered in the lawn and the course leader began, "Let's start with the OPPOSITE attitude!" None of us could meditate that morning... most of us were literally rolling on the grass. The course leader just couldn't understand why. Because all this while he heard the initial statement as, ... opposite attitude! And that's what he said!

Well that's how life is: positive or opposite, it still is a thrilling experience!