Initiative and perseverance

In the beginning any and every enterprise undertaken is always exciting and fun.  As time goes by and a pattern gets set, the same exciting task seems boring and burdensome.  The initial fervour evaporates and is replaced with a sense of delay.  The task remains the same, it is only our perspective about it, that gets altered. We begin to delay, relegate, skip, mourn, and even when we get to it, do it only haphazardly.  Most initiatives undertaken are left on the road just as easily as they are picked up - and new ones tried!  If only we see to the end of all that we undertake, we'd be superheroes!

No wonder, most sages and the experienced seek not for creativity or success, but perseverance!  The motivation and the spirit to carry on, when the task has lost its initial shine and glamour.  When the going seems tough... that is a good test of our primary reason(s) to take up that initiative. The depth of that motivation is seen not at the beginning but somewhere before the halfway mark! 

Omelette corner

As per our daily custom during evening prayers, we prayed for our deceased Salesians, especially from this GBR province. Today we remembered Br Jan Orysiuk, a Polish man who lived and worked for many years in Blaisdon.  He was from Poland and joined the army at a very young age mostly to save his family being driven out.  He then moved from Poland to Russia, and subsequently ended up in India.  After the War, he came to England and joined the Salesians.  Eventually he brought his parents and his brother too, and settled them in Gloucestershire.  He was a watchmaker and was adept at making any machine parts. 

While sharing his life and times as a Salesian, Fr Sean concluded narrating an incident involving his own brother, Joseph Orysiuk who used to work in the farm of the Salesians.  One day when he was driving the mini-van, laden with the farm produce, especially eggs to the town, he had a small accident, round the corner.  As a result all the eggs were smashed in the van! Ever since, that turn has been remembered as 'The Omelette corner'.

Faith in God

On finding the crowd eagerly searching for him and following him, Jesus recognises their real motivation.  On being asked what is it that they need to do, he replies, "Believe in the one sent by the Father!"

Post resurrection, when on their own, the apostles meet the crippled man at the Temple and heal him.  The people who witness this miracle, then ask them, "What is it that they must do to be saved?" The apostles reply, "Repent and believe in the Gospel."

The latter episode is actually a stepping stone for growing in faith; namely, believing in the words and works of God.  The earlier context of Jesus is when Jesus is challenging them to get their faith right: not in the miracles and wonders of God but in God himself!  That for most of us is the real challenge. We most often believe in God - or rather in his miracles and signs and wonders.  It is believing the person of God that is most challenging.  That's why Jesus says to Thomas, "Blessed are they who do not see, and yet believe!"  For those whose faith rests purely on miracles and wonders, there constantly needs to be a stream of these in order for them to sustain their faith.  But for the one who believes in the person of God, miracles and wonders are only a bonus - not the essentials for faith.

Radical faith is belief in God; not merely the words or works of God.  Faith in God the person, not the performer!

The Spirit

Today we hear the story of Stephen.  We hear of him preaching with wisdom and eloquence.  We also hear of the 'disturbance' he creates among the leaders and elders with his preaching.  Naturally they are out to get him.  They try their common weapon: public debate.  But when they cannot get the better of him, they decide to notch up their attempts.  This time they put up fake witnesses.  And lo and behold, they get him!

Surprising!  In the old Testament we hear of Daniel coming to the rescue of Susanna.  He takes up her case and saves her from a false accusation and evident death.  It is the same Spirit that moves Daniel that is in Stephen too.  But this time round, Stephen is not so lucky.

How and why is it that sometimes Spirit-led people are successful and at other times, utterly lose - even their lives?  I think it is not about 'success' or 'failure'.  That perhaps is not the best measuring rod of the work of the Spirit.  It is not a magic formula that conjures up success by mere presence or invocation.  The Spirit is something - someone? - who moves us to do the right thing.  The Spirit is not something or someone that magically produces the end result or the fruit, without having put ourselves through the motion.  The Spirit inspires!

The unknown saint

While listening to the gospel of the Emmaus episode, it occured to me: What if the whole finale of Jesus' story were to take place in a totally nondescript place? Jerusalem, as is today, back then too, was at the heart of the Jewish society.  Any and every event therein was bound to be known and talked about. 

Among the first things the disciples walking to Emmaus ask Jesus is 'Don't you know what has been happening in Jerusalem?'  That's an obvious and surprising question given the fact that everyone knows and is talking about the death of Jesus in Jerusalem.  It is like someone today, asking 'what is corona virus?' 

What if, like it happens very much in our times, Jesus were to be abducted by those who hated him and what he did in public;  tortured and then bumped him off in some remote place, unknown to anyone?  No public trial.  No journey to Calvary. No crucifixion in the open.  Just plain disappearance.  Not even does anyone of those involved in his kidnapping and murder try to circulate any rumours or theories - that would only increase speculation and search for truth.  Mere silence!  It is only those closest to him, Mother Mary, the apostles and those travelling with him that keep searching for him.  Asking about his whereabouts, having no clue what happened to him.  How would Christianity been moulded in such a context?  Would there at all be a religion called Christianity, arising from such a situation?

(Dedicated to the memory of those who silently but zealously work for the common good, often ending up paying very high personal costs - and even in death, continue to remain unknown!)

The Emmaus journey

The passage of the Emmaus journey, never fails to inspire me and offer new insights, everytime I read or hear it.

What I found interesting this time was the fact that Jesus joins them on their journey! It is not Christ who is leading the way or taking them somewhere He intends to go.  Rather it is he who is joining them on their path. He goes in to their home, at their invitation.  He does not take them back to Jerusalem or to the places where and what he is explaining about. 

This insight very well fits in with my favourite perspective with regard to God's presence with us and the notion of prayer.  God does not drag us to places, we do not wish to go to.  Rather he accompanies us.  It is therefore best not to ask God to accompany us in our life's journey - He already and always is!  The best thing we can do is ask ourselves, 'Do I feel His presence with me, with us?'  The prayer then, is a conversation with this God whose presence I feel with me, always. 

Reminiscing Br Dennis

My first and the most profound memories of Br Dennis are related to his time at Punganur. It was during a summer formation programme held at Punganur (I think in 2003 or so) that I met and interacted with Br Dennis for the first time. Initially when he addressed us, practical trainees, during Goodnight talks in the summer formation programme in Punganur, I hardly understood anything at all. I thought I was the only one not to get him, only years later to learn from my companions that most of them too were no better than me in understanding his talks. However, interacting with him in person, individually, was a different matter. I understood and appreciated better the little he said. Not that his language was articulate, but his expressions were! Very much like his name-sake cartoon strip, Dennis-the-menace! Short, laden and sharp.

Since that first interaction, the name 'Br Dennis' was no more just a name. There was a face to it. A known person behind it. Though I never lived with him in the same community, we did meet occasionally and for brief encounters. With his short and whacky haircut, stout stature and that wobbling gait he always stood out among the rest. My appreciation for Br Dennis grew when I was in the Provincial house, as the secretary and I heard his ayurvedic doctor, whom he used to meet once in a way for treatment of his legs, say that the condition of his legs was due to constant hard labour – with utter disregard for his own body! His long years of hard relentless work in the fields was catching up with him. And this time, his leg wouldn't let him outrun the strain and pain.

My most profound memory of him brings me back again to Punganur. This time in 2015 – by this time he was away from Punganur for quite some time. During the few months that I spent in the community there, I occasionally went out into the fields to lend a helping hand with the farm work or repair of the motors. On several such occasions, I ran into some of the neighbouring farmers. Striking a conversation with them, one name that would come up constantly and with great admiration, was that of Br Dennis. The local farmers there still remember him as a true farmer. Someone whom they connected with, more as 'of their own kind' rather than an aristocratic clergy or academic. Some of them even disliked him because he proved more efficient at farming than they did!

These few and scattered interactions with those who knew and worked with him, and with Br Dennis himself brought out for me certain characteristics of a true Salesian Brother – totally dedicated to his duty and responsibilities, greatly passionate about manual labour, and for better or for worse, with the Salesian community. He never felt bad about not being in the elite white-collared rung of society (civil or Salesian). He was perfectly at home with the mud and crops and the rugged TVS which carried him and the farm produce to the market! No huge construction or financial project or erudite book may bear his name, but his rugged strong hands and his wonky feet bear testament to his dedication and passion – constant, prolonged and total. His personal needs were very very limited – and those who knew him, know exactly what they were! Thus besides the community life and his responsibilities there was hardly anything at all that distracted – or attracted – him!

For me, he leaves behind a legacy of hard work, immersed community life and detached sense of living one's religious life. And of course, his sharp witty sense of humour! For this and much more, I feel honoured to have known him in my lifetime.

Generous sharing

One the foremost community characteristics of the early Christian community was the sharing aspect of its individual members.  They really took care of those in need.  Those with plenty or enough to spare did not mind putting their excess at the disposal of the elders to be given away to those who really haven't much or anything at all. 

This generosity does not necessarily and merely stem from a sense of pity or abundance.  At the root of this generous sharing is the sense of unity, of oneness and equality.  Those with plenty did not feel bad about giving away something and those with little did not hesitate to come forward and appeal for help.  Everyone, rich and poor, haves and have-nots felt at home with one another.  That being at home with one another was the Church! 

Moreover it was basically this community dimension that appealed most to the believers of other faiths.  The joy and serenity that they noticed among the Christians made them wonder what is it that they had going on among them.  How is it that this group of people could feel happy about giving away - generously - what was legally and rightfully theirs?  Why was there this feeling of 'being-at-home'? 

If it was this community sharing and concern that brought the people together, it was the Gospel message that strengthened the bond and deepened it, complementing charity with divinity. 

The closed door

The gospel of the day begins with the scene of the closed doors.  The disciples, afraid of the Jews, are behind closed doors.  The scene then turns to Jesus appearing to them and the display of his wounds to them. 

I have another version of this whole episode.  Most the disciples, for fear, chose to stay behind the closed doors.  Only a few dared go out and attempt to do the good they could.  Their reasoning: If we, as the closest to Jesus feel so distraught, how much more will those who felt close to Jesus but did not have the privilege of knowing him as intimately as we did, feel. 

So they dared out to seek those confused and frightened, just as they themselves, and offer the little consolation they could.  Perhaps, in strengthening them, they would be strengthened themselves.  Moreover they knew well that Jesus would have done the same.  So they ventured out, not overcoming their fear, but in spite of their fears!  They chose to risk the open, rather than let fear feed on them within closed doors.   

In the meantime, Jesus appears to those huddled indoors.  And after a while when those few who had gone out return, those who saw the risen Lord narrate all that happened to them.  And as they narrate the conversation they had with Jesus, they particularly get enlightened about the words of Jesus, "Blessed are those who have not seen, but yet believe!"  Those who had dared out then narrate how they were strengthened as they spend time with others similarly distraught and confused.  Without seeing the tongues of fire, they too had received the Holy Spirit!  

The crippling fear

The Gospel of the second Sunday of Easter opens with these lines:

...the doors were closed, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. 

The story today, across the world is no different!  Doors are today closed.  Those outside are not permitted in.  Those inside do not intend to go out!  Then, it was the fear of the Jews.  Today it is the fear of the virus.  In those days, at least one knew when there was a knock on the door, who it was.  Today even with the doors closed there in no guarantee that the virus can be held out.  But the fear is the same!  The same mortal fear. 

This morning as I heard the priest preach about how Jesus is the strength and power; the disciples not recognising the Lord with them; the continued presence of Jesus with us in the Eucharist and all that stuff... I found myself smiling.  He is one in the community who is most frightened of the virus!  While preaching the sermon, he had totally distanced himself from the fear of the disciples and had subsequently found their trembling senseless.  A safe third person observant stand.  His eloquence in preaching about the power of Jesus and his strengthening presence was merely for the disciples. 

If only he were to place himself in the shoes of the disciples and seen how what he spoke, so convincingly about Jesus' presence, is applicable and meaningful to oneself too, especially today...!  

Some truth...

Useless anxieties

Someone today asked me how I could be happy, when there is this pandemic wreaking havoc everywhere around me?  I did not respond since the one asking me was very emotionally disturbed and anxious.  But I said to myself, "Why not?  I am happy.  Not that I am unaware of the plight of people but that there is also so much goodness and life around me that I cannot be blind to.  More than happy, I am contended.  Contended that I am doing what I can, in spite of the luxurious life I live."

I am happy and contended to have a house to live in.  A comfortable and cosy house, with a large self contained room for myself.  Really lavish food everyday!  Food splendid enough to put the royal household to shame!  I have no requirement of mine lacking: clothes, footwear, gadgets, wifi and internet.  I have a homely community with whom I can interact everyday.  I have time at my disposal to use for what I think best.  No other serious commitments that leave me craving for spare time.  So what is there that I should be sad about?

In all honesty, I am doing the best I can given the present circumstances for those around who need help.  The only thing I don't do is, worry! Neither do I fear for what will come; if I will fall sick or something may happen.  For if that happens, then so be it.  I do not see any point in losing my peace of mind - and the ability to do some good - for what may happen later.

During Mass, after the 'Our Father' there is a beautiful prayer said by the priest:

Deliver us, Lord,
we pray, from every evil,
graciously grant peace in our days,
that, by the help of your mercy,
we may be always free from sin
and safe from all distress, and useless anxiety as we await the blessed hope
and the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Fr Ronald Menezes, one of my former Rectors, used to add the highlighted phrase!  

Nothing to lose

When questioned by the religious elders, Peter and his company, boldly assert their source of strength and stand by their teaching of Jesus risen.  No mincing words, no ifs and buts.  Simple, plain, direct, acknowledgement of Christ risen and total allegiance to His life and works. 

Besides the Holy Spirit, it was also their freedom from any other aspect of life that helped them preach Jesus.  They literally had nothing to lose!  All that they had, they shared!  Even Jesus.  So no compromises, no calculations, no measuring pros and cons.  That's the power of detachment.  It gives one the freedom to choose ones path, without any fear of loss. 

It is exactly this freedom of detachment and choice that we religious have.  But we fail to make the most of it, because we fear risking the other elements and aspects we have 'gathered' in the process of living like Christ - all 'for' living like Christ.  

Speak softly

After the resurrection of Jesus and the pentecost, it is in a way surprising to notice the apostles go on doing their bit, without really creating a huge uproar or fanfare.  No attempt to go viral!  No shouting from rooftops, to all and sundry.  Just plain, simple steady effort at announcing their personal journey with Jesus... with great passion and conviction. 

Not every discovery needs to be broadcasted to the whole world in the loudest of voice or the most glamourous of means. They only need to be spelt out with great conviction!

Reminds me of the dynamic role played by Marlon Brando in 'The Godfather'.  Or some roles of Robert de Niro.  Just that presence.  Without yelling or shouting, and most often by a mere look, powerfully communicating something profound or serious. 

The haunting music of The Godfather... (The song 'Speak softly...' in that sense is a real paradox!)

Love, God and others, as the essence

Post-resurrection there is a great interest in what the apostles have to say about the Christ.  People who had heard vague stories about Jesus, now hear directly from the apostles and are convinced of what they hear.  And so the obvious question: "What should we now do?"

Peter's reply, "Be baptised.  Repent for your sins and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." How did he and the early Christians zero in on this baptism?  That Peter was calling for repentance is understandable, since he attributed the death of Jesus to the Jews.  And therefore, the prescription for atonement for this sin, appears logical. Whatever way the Holy Spirit inspired them, the sorrow of Jesus' death and his absence would surely be part of their present state of mind. 

Am wondering what if Peter had responded to that zealous question of the Jews with a reply of this sort: "Love God and one another as Jesus taught and showed us!"  First things first!  Baptism initiates one into the Christian faith, but is not the cornerstone of Jesus' life and teaching.  If only we had really emphasised the essence of Jesus' message (love) from the beginning, we would have had less of rites and rituals and focussed more on our existing expression of love.  This is not to say that Christianity has not really trodden the path of love all these centuries.  It certainly and very visibly has.  Only that at times we have let the rubrics define what Christianity is rather than a genuine love - and this is mostly the fault of us, priests and religious!  

Resurrection: The bizarre but illuminating experience

The gospel of the day stands out for me for one particular line which sums up for me, the whole state of mind of the apostles.

They (the apostles) did not yet understand the Scripture that he had to rise from the dead. 

Witnessing the resurrection, or rather the empty tomb, the apostles are now at a very complex mode of understanding.  Amidst all the excitement and tension of the past three days, when things just seem to hit them like an avalanche, the latest awareness of the resurrection of Jesus makes everything so weird. All along they heard Jesus speak and preach, they journeyed along with him, saw all that he did, and now suddenly all of that takes on a totally different meaning and shape.  Every word, deed and interaction is viewed as if totally new - but not for the first time!

The Resurrection of Christ
by Nicolas Bertin

The only immediate analogy that comes to my mind of this state of 're-running the past' in a totally different light and thereby gaining a very different meaning, is the conclusion of the movie 'The sixth sense'.  The bizarre twist at the end of the movie reveals a fact that forces one to review all that one has watched for the past hour.  The strange feeling is 'how come I missed it'!  It was there all along, but I never really saw it. I did not even imagine it as per this new fact that is revealed.  The earlier viewing is not nonsensical or illogical.  It looks good in itself.  But with the fresh insight, the whole of it gains a totally different meaning.  Now that's a feeling after watching something just for 90 minutes.  Imagine what it would be re-running 3 full years of one's past life! Then there is also all that one has learnt about one's religion since birth!

This experience is like how one single thought can put a whole complex theory into a neat clear picture.  Once you see the whole picture, you wonder how come you did not see it, until you have the latest insight.  The Gospels do not explain the resurrection; it is resurrection that explains the Gospels! 

Foot-washing as part of the Eucharist

The greatest and most surprising discovery/learning of this Holy Week reading was the fact that St John's gospel does not explicitly mention the institution of the Eucharist during the Last Supper.  The last passover meal of Jesus is spoken of, but not the bread-wine part.  What is mentioned is the foot-washing act.  

This comes to me as a surprise, because the Johannine gospel was used as the cornerstone for our  teaching on the Holy Eucharist during Theology.  (But I don't remember anything else of that course!).  Nonetheless perhaps John stresses the feeding of the 5000 (the only miracle common in all the four gospels) - maybe. 

However, I'd like to think of John stressing the foot-washing as a form of the Eucharist, for the one line appearing in all the four gospels with regard to the Last supper is "Do this in my memory!" Our Christian tradition has restricted the Holy communion only to the baptised, but the foot-washing is certainly the 'catholic' (of the whole world) dimension of our faith!  

Wish we really learn better to see the deep interconnectedness of these two integral elements of the Mass and live it out more practically in our lives outside the 'hour-long Mass'.  

Jesus' failure at Gethsemane

While commemorating the stations of the cross today, it struck me that Jesus for once failed as a teacher.  As an educator, I consider Jesus to be one of the best teachers in the world - for various reasons.  However, at the garden of Gethsemane, he fails in one particular aspect.  On Jesus' defence I could say that in the face of death, this is a very slight oversight. 

On reaching the garden Jesus tells his apostles to stay there while he goes a little further to pray.  Now this is night time and am sure after all the arrangements they made for the passover meal, and the meal itself, they are tired.  Naturally Jesus finds them asleep, all three times he comes to them.  But each time he wakes them up, he tells them to stay awake... but do what?  Now, any sensible and practical teacher should know this best. Merely telling the children in class to keep quiet, will not result in the children being silent for long.  Instead give them something to do, and one need not yell or tell them to be silent!  Jesus telling his apostles 'to be there' without actually telling them what to do, is like telling children in class, to keep quiet - which they immediately will, but soon out of boredom, invent their own ways of keeping busy! 

In defence of the apostles, one might say that they really did not know what is happening.  As Jews they knew the passover feast. But all this talk of Jesus during the meal, was way above their head!  Then this visit to the garden of Gethsemane, was an odd outing - in the night! Jesus had an inkling of his death, hence sleep eluded him.  The others actually had no clue of what was coming. The only one among the apostles who was actively up to something, was wide awake and busy - Judas.  

Life, death AND resurrection

The most evident facts are the ones most often overlooked!  Yesterday while speaking about the death of Jesus, I stated that Jesus' death alone does not signify anything unique in human history.  Suffering and death has been part of human history long before Jesus and still continues to be so.  There are several human beings who have endured great amount of suffering and even death, for far too long and intense periods than Jesus did.

However, what I totally missed and what's unique in Jesus' case is the resurrection.  So it is not just his death that signifies something unique or great. It is his whole life (beginning with his incarnation, something that happens for the first time) and his resurrection, that makes Jesus extra-special.

More than ever before, I recall today, this Good Friday, all those people who suffer for no crime or fault of theirs.  Yet endure the suffering with a courageous heart, for a purpose far greater than ordinary logical human comprehension.  

Death AND life

Most often we contemplate on the death of Jesus and treat that as a distinct aspect of his ministry here on Earth.  The Holy Week, and Good Friday, in particular is the typical commemoration of this.  While this has a great value in our Christian faith, it alone cannot be the essence of our faith. 

While the incarnation is something very peculiar and unique, the suffering and death of Jesus is not something unique.  No other religious tradition believes in God incarnating as a human being, living as a normal person and then dying like one.  That is something special in Christianity.  However, there were, and still are, people who suffer greatly like Jesus Christ.  Jesus' agony was mostly for three days.  There are people who have suffered for years.  Both physical and mental torture.  Very many died and continue to die after prolonged and intense suffering.  Therefore the suffering and death of Jesus alone does not set him apart from other human beings.  

Therefore the need to see his life and death as a whole unit, rather than amplify one at the cost of the other.  It is only then that we truly recognise the greatness of Jesus, as no other dimension of God and man. 

Admission and denial

During the last lap of Jesus' journey on earth there are two people, both among his closest group, who deny him.  There is Judas who innocently asks, "Surely, not I Lord?" during the Last Supper to Jesus' statement of one betraying him.  Then there is Peter who denies Jesus thrice - after vehemently affirming his loyalty to Jesus.  At least Peter did not deny Jesus on his face. 

However, both repent.  Judas feels sorry and approaching the Jews, returns the 30 pieces of silver, in exchange for Jesus.  Peter repents and weeps bitterly. Both realise that what they did was not in conformity to what Jesus would have wanted them to do.  Both try to make amends.  The only difference is that Peter felt strong enough to live with his mistakes, in the hope that he would be accepted by his fellow companions - and most importantly, by Jesus.  Jesus knew that he would betray, but did not condemn him.  On the other hand, Judas did not have anyone to turn to.  He felt he had let down everyone and none would now accept him - not even the Lord.  He dies alone, or rather he dies a very pathetically lonely death.  He decided for himself that no one would give him a second chance.  And the ones whom he approached (the Jews) only mocked him.  Jesus, his main victim,  was beyond his reach now.

In that sense, his agony was greater than that of Peter.  His was an agony of loneliness.  The same loneliness that led to Jesus sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane.  The same loneliness that made Jesus cry out 'God, my God, why have you abandoned me?'  If only were Judas to admit his guilt to someone, we'd have another excellent model of human weakness overcome! 

Simon of Cyrene, the epitome of (most) religious

Simon of Cyrene, who is roped in to help Jesus carry his cross, presents a glimpse of a particular personality type.  Most of us live this personality or this trait very often in our life - especially religious.

Simon is there on the scene by chance.  Or could be there by choice.  But him getting dragged in to assist Jesus is pure chance!  No way did he volunteer for it (doesn't look so).  The soldiers may have asked for volunteers to come forward.  Simon may have thought of volunteering.  Maybe he did.  Nonetheless, the point is this: He knew for certain that the cross was not his.  He was safe!  He only had a guest appearance!  Of this he was sure.  From the citadel of that certainty it is not very difficult to help Jesus!  With my securities in place, I lose nothing. So lending a helping hand to someone is fine. 

All he had to do was play the role for that intermediary period, till Golgotha or till the soldiers decide to let go of him.  No smart moves!  He didn't protest the persecution and the torture.  He wouldn't.  He was not seen or heard before.  He is not seen or heard after this event.  This is exactly the mission mode most religious happily engage in: doing good (occasionally or very often), but from within the comfort zones one wouldn't risk leaving.  But we are called - and we profess, in response - to be more than mere part-time charity doers or organisers.  We are meant to be the radicals.  We are called to be His disciples, all the time, everywhere, for all.  Even if it entails not being with Jesus on his way to Calvary - like John the Baptist - because, we have already walked that way!  

Peter's proclamation and denial

In the Gospel of the day, we hear Jesus foretelling Peter denying him.  To which, Peter vehemently affirms his loyalty.  For us listeners who know the whole story, the passionate rebuttal of Peter to Jesus' prophecy seems like a joke.  We already know he is going to deny Jesus.  This present passion and loyalty are only fleeting. 

We may smirk at Peter's fierce loyalty, but we are no better off. We have our own convictions and principles, and if someone were to challenge them, we'd give them a good fight. But somewhere down the line (in three years, or three months or even three days!) we may give up those very convictions or principles for the slightest of trouble or risk to our more basics of life.  It does not take long for convictions to become opinions.  Jesus knew the depth of Peter's faith.  Peter thought he had seen it all and that there was nothing that could separate him from Jesus! 

Another dimension of this proclamation of loyalty and then the u-turn is basically because the primary proclamation is made solely on the strength of one's own power.  God does not feature in the future plans.  It's all about me battling it out, making it on my own accord.  None of us really know all that will unfold in our lives.  Not next year, not next month, not even the next minute.  So our reply need not change.  But our attitude to what will come can very well be that of trust - trust that we will not be alone. 

"Well then, at least give me the strength to make that denial temporary!" could have been Peter's reply, if he knew Jesus well. 

"I know that you are with me, help me too to be with you!" 

Lazarus, the collateral damage?

In the gospel today we hear how the Jews plotted against Jesus and it is amusing to note, that not only is Jesus their target, but Lazarus too!  And what did Lazarus do in order to get his name on the hit-list?  Well, he was raised from the dead by Jesus! 

That Jesus was being plotted against and planned to be bumped off, is quite understandable.  He was challenging the authority of the established system and leaders.  He was teaching all crazy stuff.  He barely respected any of the religious elders - going to the extent of calling them names.  He broke most of the 'sacred' laws.  He just was too much to handle.  So, 'better for one man to die than risk a whole nation'!  But Lazarus?  Why him?  He did not ask to be raised from the dead.  He was just summoned out of the tomb!  Nor did he go about following Jesus and preaching the Kingdom just like the apostles and the disciples.  He never wrote any epistles or memorandums to the Roman government.  I don't think he even ventured out of Bethany on any of the missionary expeditions of Jesus and his cohort. 

Why then target him?  He certainly was no collateral damage.  He was a target in himself.  Purely because his very existence was a living witness to what Jesus was and did.  The scene in today's gospel at the house of Lazarus, where Martha is dishing out a lavish meal and Mary is anointing Jesus' feet with the costliest of ointments, is of real festivity and life.  The same house, a couple of days earlier, was in deep mourning.  Now there is rejoicing.  In that sense Lazarus is a very fortunate man.  Without actually doing much, he merits the death schemers attention.  Blessed is the one whom the Lord favours.  And by that mere single favour, bears witness to the Lord. 

I am blessed with innumerable favours.  Am I then a target of those who hate Christ, for my very life  bears witness to Jesus?  Or am I treated by them as an insignificant threat, someone whom they think is not connected to Jesus at all?

Grandiosity

Aiming for the sky is always considered a challenging and motivating factor.  However, practically speaking, that long distance goal is only good in theory.  In real practical life, it is one step-at-a-time. 

Most often we Salesians fail, and miserably at that, because we think too big.  Well, dreaming of huge grand plans is nothing harmful.  The danger is embarking on it purely on the dream alone.  Not really testing it out in bits and learning from it, before going for the big kill.  We often are in a hurry to make it big!  We forget that it takes years of hard work and effort, including a humility to constantly evaluate ones own work and learn from it.  Humility also to accept the fact that we do not know-it-all.  Therefore the need to involve and learn from others who are experts in that field.  Once we have worked on a small task, involving people, gaining experience and wisdom, and have significantly proved it to be successful, then present it as a working model.  Then take up something bigger and gain from that experience... learn, evaluate, experiment, involve, reflect, plan.  By this time you have a network in place (of people, places, contacts, experiences, information).  Bigger tasks will naturally come your way or be entrusted to you. 

Mere grandiosity, solely on the basis of 'reaching out' is something we religious should be cautious about.  Don Bosco did not straight away build large houses and churches!  He first started meeting boys in the streets, in the prisons, in their work places.  He then gathered them on Sundays.  Again, not in a grand place of his own.  His initial boarders were living with him in his house, not a large well-furnished boarding house!  He built up his work bit by bit.  As the felt need presented itself, he undertook bigger houses and places.  He did not build (buildings) and then start working!!  

Philosophy and wisdom

If philosophy is the love or study of wisdom, then by that logic philosophers should be the most wise people on earth.  Now that statement can be treated more as a joke than a reality!  Why the lacuna between study of wisdom and being wise? 

I think the chasm lies in the fact that most philosophers get embroiled with logic, arguments, reasoning and reading, it is purely at the intellectual level.  In life, these hardly make an impact.  When these do not percolate my convictions, principles, values and day-to-day decisions of life, how would it make impact others, leave along the society at large?  Wisdom comes from letting these ideas and theories being worked out in real life, with real people and relations. Not merely in the abstract world of ideas and thoughts.  In that sense, I still hold that my Mum is a more wise person than I, in spite of my years of study of philosophy!

I agree that reading and thinking and philosophising helps.  But wisdom comes from living life, not merely reading about life or thinking about life.  We become wise engaging with real life-situations and people - the more challenging and complex these are, the better the possibility of we growing wise.  Reading and thinking and engaging in an intellectual debate (however intense) are safe bets - not life-altering.  Real life situations and the challenges they throw up, demand radical decisions and careful consideration.  That's the route to wisdom. 

The Passion narrative and me

While reading the Palm Sunday gospel yesterday and today, I could not but notice the number of people involved in the event proper.  There are several characters who come in and leave in the life of Jesus, but in this episode alone, just the entry into Jerusalem and the events that unfold thereafter, there are a variety of people playing different roles.

There is the crowd itself that welcomes him today into Jerusalem.  Know not how many of them exactly knew what they were doing and saying as they praised and welcomed Jesus.  Just like another crowd that shouted 'Crucify him' before Pilate.  Most of them would certainly have heard of Jesus.  Although not all of them would know exactly what the praise or condemnation was for. 

Then, there are the apostles and the disciples around Jesus.  Peter stands out as the mascot or the representative of all those close to Jesus, but not close enough to stand up for him.  In the face of adversity, they crumble and retreat into their own securities.  Judas, on the other hand, feels he has no cover to hide under.  He seemed more plagued by guilt than Peter. 

Then there are the scribes, the elders, the Roman politicians - all seeking the 'common good'. They are all so caught up in the act of being leaders that they fail to question their real motives of framing Jesus.  Not all of them can be branded villains or evil.  They were only upholding the social order that they were taught all their life and what they truly felt called to protect.  Although some of them would have been schemers - not surprising, they were people in authority - the rest would have been honest men who felt responsible to maintain the existing order - social, political, religious. 

There is then Jesus himself.  Sometimes speaking, responding, challenging, but otherwise choosing to remain silent when he could have argued his way out.  He certainly knew how to use words and arguments to drive home his point.  I suppose, another Bible can be filled just with the thoughts running through his head from his intense meditative moments in Gethsemane until his last breath on the cross.  Oh, what would he have been thinking, especially at those moments he chooses to remain silent! 

Then there is me!  Re-imagining these scenes in my mind.  Sensing the pain of Jesus and in a way his resigned helplessness.  Reading or listening to this passage, knowing what the end is going to be, is not always easy.  Resurrection does not really come to mind and even if it does, offers little consolation - in the face of the ongoing agony and tension.  Then, suddenly there is a flash of light.  And my mind wanders trying to figure out, if that was caused by a car on the road or the one that turned into our cul-de-sac?  From there my mind goes on to remember that one of the car's battery is down and I need to tell the others to completely compress the clutch and the brake while turning on the ignition to get it started.  It takes a while to remind myself where I am and what I'm involved in. 

And the meditation continues. 

Philosophy lectures

Compiled list of philosophy lectures (videos) on various topics available online...

The accompanying sheets also contain lists of some lecture notes and online softwares.

Came across the list and details of its origin here. https://mymodernmet.com/philosophy-video-lectures/

Not hearing God

Jesus said to the Jews and to the chief priests, "He who is of God hears the words of God; if you do not hear them, it is because you are not of God."

The fact that a mother is attuned to the cries of her child.  No matter where she is or whatever be the surrounding noise, her baby's cry gets her attention.  Young children blindfolded can recognize their mother by a mere touch!  When in sync with another person, words are not necessary, mere presence counts and speaks much!

By that logic, not hearing God's words can rightly mean only one thing: I am not in sync with God! While it is easy to shift the blame and say, it is God who is silent, owning up our lack of zeal to stay in touch with God is more mature. 

Foundation

Daniel standing up to King Nebuchadnezzar defending his decision not to bow or worship before anyone or anything other than Yahweh is a classic example of someone who is convinced of his or her own principles and totally unyielding - come what may!

Unfortunately while this can be interpreted as faith and devotion and conviction, the same can also be read as fanaticism or stubbornness!  Same tenacity, same vigour, same passion!  Very difficult to decide, at least in the first encounter. 

Nonetheless, it is these very senseless, totally irrational and reckless convictions, decisions and actions that are qualified as faith. Every religion has these.  From a rational point of view, these are senseless and utterly nonsensical.  Yet for the one who sees with the eyes of faith, they are heroic. 

But I think it is important to note that Daniel did not have faith "if" God saved him!  He had faith!  That's it.  There was no test or condition for having faith!  Just like rationality relies on reason, faith relies on God.  Both have a foundation, a launching pad - something that cannot itself be brought to question, lest we never proceed.  

Patch work

When Naaman goes to Elisha and expects him to come and cure him of his leprosy, he imagines the prophet coming and applying a balm or something on the part which is affected by leprosy.  Rather, the prophet tells him to take a bath! 

Elisha refusing the gifts of Naaman, by Pieter de Grebber (Wikipedia)

The prescription of a bath, serves many purposes: it addresses his pride, his mindset, his body, his illness.  It is a whole package.  The prescription is an antidote not just for the physical part of the body that is affected but the whole body!  The whole person! 

In life, we often seek and are satisfied with piece-meal solutions to our imminent and grave problems.  However, we fail to see or rather, do not want to see the larger picture and address the root causes.  Saints and seers are those who see life large scale!  They see the bigger picture and thereby take steps accordingly.  The rest of us, merely do what appears to the eye, here and now.