Young people and the Church

Noteworthy signposts from the survey of young people with regard to vocational discernment, faith and Church (England and Wales)... I'm looking at these from the Indian scenario, for though the reality is slightly different, the situation back home will soon be the same as it is here.  The sooner we wake up and shape up, the better chance we stand at being relevant and meaningful.  Or else not only will young people be out of the church, the church will be out of their world as well!  In spite of the serious drawback that most of the 3,298 participants were mostly those who 'come to Church', the results offer some insights worth serious consideration:

• An accepting, non-judgemental environment is essential for young people to feel welcome in church settings.  So implicit, informal, friendly invitations are more effective than explicit stipulations that they should be present. 
• You have struck a chord with young people, if they invite their friends as well. 
• Church needs to move from being the conscience of the people to forming the conscience of the people. 
• The word 'vocation' has become toxic to some catholics as it seems too narrow in the way that it is used!  (As though only call to priestly and religious life are 'vocations' and the other life choices are not. And that the former are greater than the rest of vocations!). 

Clarity vs authenticity

A recent (2018) survey in England and Wales of the youth with regard to faith and vocational discernment, in view of the upcoming Synod has shed some insights into what young people feel about the Church.  Though the survey itself could have been broader in its reach, the available data does indicate a growing sense of divide within the Church, especially in the UK. 

The most significant of the findings that struck me was this particular insight that there are two distinct groups:  A small vocal and determined group looking back to an era they have been told was better and a much larger group who are embedded in the culture and want the Church to engage more.  The first group wants clarity and the second, authenticity. 

This is the case not just of the youth in England and Wales but of the whole Church and one of the principal reasons Pope Francis is being criticized.  There was a time when the Church offered clear and sure guidelines for everyone, including the civil society.  Its decisions were looked upto with respect and proved valuable.  However, this era is long gone!  Pope Francis too leaves things hanging!  But that's exactly how things are!  Things are no more pure black or white.  There are grey areas; ambiguous and unclear.  The Church does no good offering a 'permanent remedy'... certainly not from a position of authority and hierarchy.  The Church leaders need to journey with the whole world and seek for answers - not dictate them from the pulpit.  Answers or efforts to seek answers in such a collaborative mode are more appreciated and helpful than ready-made doctrinal replies. 

To use an imagery: There are those inside the Church waiting for your instructions.  Then there are those outside the Church happy to let you join them.  Where is the priest or the religious to go?  If he stays in, those outside are not going to wait for him for long.  They will gladly carry on their way and not ever bother about anything.  If he joins the group outside, those inside are not going to sit waiting for long.  They'll seek their answers elsewhere.  Stretched between these two groups, a priest/religious of today needs to find his mission. 

Grace

Grace is someone (God Himself) and not something (as when we speak of 'different graces').  We often forget the nature of grace as a free gift, and consider our relationship with God to be something depending more on us than on Him (as when we speak of our 'preserving' or 'losing' grace).  In reality, we can lose everything, except grace, because grace is the gratuitous (not based on merit or as a reward) and unconditional love with which God gives himself to us.  

Understanding mission

One of the significant words that we Salesians need to clarify and remind ourselves constantly is the word 'mission'.  Not so much that we tend to forget it but that we invariably tend to limit it to a very narrow sense and thereafter spend our whole life fulfilling this narrow limited understanding of mission! 

Unfortunately our skewed understanding of mission does not depend on those for whom we work. This danger lurks greater around those of our institutions and works that are already established and already set.  Our decisions, policies and attitudes are not appropriate because we proceed in the following order: mission - activities and works - those for whom we work. However the correct order should be: 

mission - those for whom we work - activities and works. 

What happens many a time is that the situation of those for whom we work, while not taking precedence over the mission, does not take precedence over our activities and works either!  It is not a matter of our going in search of those who can fill up our activities and works (and most often, those who do come are not necessarily the ones who need!); rather, we ought to ask ourselves: for the sake of those to whom the Lord sends us as priority, what are the activities and works we need to carry out here and now?  

Vocation to love

An interesting passage from the reflections of St Theresa of Lisieux, in the context of trying to discern her vocation.  In the context of the many roles and duties and the diversity of vocations she finds herself surrounded with, she tries to sift through them all to see what ultimately is her true vocation.  She finds it in the letter of St Paul when he lists the different possible ways to fulfill one's calling and the different graces.  However, he concludes stating love as the most perfect of all gifts. 

Finally I found the answer! ... Charity gave me the key to my vocation ... I understood that only love made the members of the Church do what they do: that if Love should die out, the apostles would no longer announce the Gospel, the martyrs would refuse to spill their blood... I understood that love embraces all vocations, that love was everything, that love embraced all times and every place... In brief, that love is eternal! Well in the fullness of my delirious joy I cried out: Oh Jesus, my Love!  I have finally found my vocation! ... My vocation is LOVE!

Love for a person

Two different takes on the affection one can have for a person, even veneration!  Both from the Biographical Memoirs of the Oratory

Both are in the context of the admiration that boys had for Don Bosco.  Fr Giacomelli testifies

... they loved him dearly and held him in such veneration that all he had to do was express a mere wish to be instantly obeyed.  They avoided also whatever might displease him, but there was not a trace of servile fear in their obedience; it stemmed from their filial affection for him.  Indeed, some boys avoided wrongdoing more out of regard for him than for fear of offending God.  When he would come to know of this, he would reprimand them severely, reminding them that, 'God is much more than Don Bosco!' (BM III, 411) 

The other is a perspective from the boys, recorded by the theologian Piano, who was once a student at the oratory

We still feel the love we felt for you then ... Was it not here at the oratory that the majority of us were fed and clothed when we were destitute? ... This heart of mine will beat no more, before it ceases to love you.  We hold that loving you is to us a symbol of loving God (BM XVIII, 311-312).  

The x-ray and the photo

Whenever or whomever we love or are fascinated by, we need to grow or strive to attain a holistic view of the person.  It is possible that in the process of gaining a better view of the person from all possible angles, our admiration for him or her may dwindle.  However, that is  a better risk than basing all our love and admiration on merely one particular view we hold, and are unwilling to put that to test or view other perspectives. 

Recently someone narrated this analogy to drive home the point that when studying a historical figure one needs to have a multi-dimensional approach rather than be stuck to one view alone, or worse, deny alternate views.  When a surgeon has to perform an operation on his mother, the photographs he has of her are of little or no use; what he needs are the most specialized x-rays.  But, in his office or at his desk, he does not place an x-ray but the most memorable 'live' photo of her!  The x-ray has its place, so does the photograph.  None to be demeaned, but the worth of each to be noted as varying for differing purposes. 

It is not enough to love

Don Bosco's message to the Salesians that young people not only need to be loved, but they also need to know that they are loved, has a significant pedagogical and phenomenological meaning behind it.  This message can be interpreted to mean that love needs to be expressed. It can also mean that it ought to be manifested.  Both these may seem the same but they are distinct.  Love not only is to be expressed, it is to be manifested as well. 

Expression, has for its focus, the one who loves.  Manifestation, on the other hand, has the one who is loved as the focus.  This gains significance if we remember that our starting point of a relationship is not 'loving', but 'being' and the feeling of being loved. We first receive love, much before we begin to share it with others or love others.  And prior to it all is life itself.

Secondly, deeds are the proof of the love one has for another, not beautiful words!  The best, however is a truly inner unity of both deeds and words.  

So sure...

Every once in a way, right in the midst of an intense discussion or conversation, someone pops up with a question that fringes on the most inconsequential matters under the discussion, that one wonders if the person is really sane.  However, for the one asking the question, and doing it in all sincerity and seeking, it is an important and central question - only that he or she has failed to grasp the core of discussion. 

"Whose wife would she be on the day of the resurrection?"  (Mark 12) An important and relevant question when viewed from the sociological perspective.  The one posing this question would certainly be a good devout practicing and learned Jew.  He wanted to be clear about what would be the case of this tricky situation, because he could not think of a way out.  Unfortunately, he did not think that Jesus could be speaking of things outside the box!  In the process he misses the core of what Jesus was trying to communicate: that God is a loving and living being.

Can happen to us too:  we are so sure of what is being said that we miss out the greater indepth meaning being offered! 

The Master made it his task to destroy systematically every doctrine, every belief, every concept of the divine, for these things, which were originally intended as pointers, were now being taken as descriptions. He loved to quote the Eastern saying 'When the sage points to the moon, all that the idiot sees is the finger.' (Anthony deMello)

Estranged prayer

Teaching children to pray requires a different approach than leading a grown up person to pray.  Children by nature are spontaneous.  Hence the best way to help them learn to pray and see it as a great means of strength is to let them be spontaneous in their approach to prayer too.  Contrary to this our initial catechesis leads to an estrangement of prayer from real life.  We drag them to Church - where we pray.  Make them learn prayers by rote - something they are not always happy about.  Reprimand them about 'silly' prayers and 'improper' behaviour - very confusing for them to understand when to and when not, for sometimes when they are naughty we cuddle them and at times we scold them.  Slowly they learn that prayer is 'serious' business; done in the Church, away from where real life unfolds (home, playground, with friends...) and not to be trivialized. 

In this process, instead of leading a prayerful life (life immersed in prayer), prayer is neatly cut up from everyday living and 'sanctified' so high that it becomes a 'sacred' rite reserved for special days, special times, special ways.  Normal ordinary everyday life is not to vitiate prayer.