Epitome of Commitment and Service

Baby Aunty (as we fondly called her)
Her maiden name was Margaret Pinto.

Right since early childhood, Baby aunty was one of the most sought after person, during our rare trips to Mangalore. She is the youngest sister of Mummy and the most affectionate too... most talkative one too!  I regularly sent Baby aunty and Charlie uncle a letter for their wedding anniversary every year, without fail.  That was my one sure point of contact with two of those whom I liked most in Mangalore.  With Charlie uncle's death, Baby aunty is now all alone.  It has been years since Charlie uncle's health began to decline.  All the while Baby aunty was by his side.  Even when he gave up all hope and attempt to recover, she stood by him.  Unlike Charlie uncle, Baby aunty and I never spoke at depth.  She was more at home with Mummy. Nonetheless, I never can admire her grit and commitment to her life partner, enough.

Whenever someone spoke of commitment and service in our religious circles, I used to think about her and her concern and care for Charlie uncle. Till a couple of years ago, she also took care of her mother-in-law who was totally bedridden.  I've never come across anyone who has been so consistent, and committed to taking care of the sick in the family, as Baby aunty - and most importantly, happily too.

I know not what her plans are now at this moment, with uncle gone; but I pray for her.  May her grit and strength of love show her the way ahead.  God continue to be at her side. 

RIP: Charles D'Souza

I just got news of one of my uncle's, Mr Charles D'Souza, passing away in Mangalore.  He was my Mummy's younger brother-in-law.  He was ill for quite a long time... perhaps years. The last two months were the worst.  His wife, Mummy's sister, took utmost care of him all along.  I just cannot imagine the strength and the patience of that strong lady who stood my him for so many years of pain and suffering.

An evening that we went along to the beach
during my last visit to Mangalore in 2008

I too grieve the death of this uncle of mine.  Of all those whom I know in Mangalore, he was the most affectionate and appreciative.  The last time I went to Mangalore was for Willy's (my brother's) marriage in 2008.  That time too he was his usual self: asking me questions about my vocation, about happiness, about love and family.

He was an auto driver by profession.  He stopped going to Church several years ago.  Instead he would dutifully drop his wife at Church and then proceed to some place where he would be of some help.  His greatest joy was to assist in the last rites of unclaimed dead bodies.  He would readily volunteer to retrieve any dead body anywhere (wells, rivers, sewage...) whatever be their state of decomposition!  He would then ensure that they get a decent burial.

Uncle Charlie (first from right)
during his visit to the Provincial house in 2008.
That's the last time I saw him.
Seated beside him is his wife, Baby Aunty.

He basically gave up on life some years ago.  The fact that along with his wife he could not be a parent was something he could not reconcile with. As his health deteriorated, also because he took up to drinking, he survived many a near death attacks.  So sick was he with medicines and hospitalization that he would get great strength to walk out of the hospital even when he could barely stand on his own feet!

He was not a practicing Catholic but none would  dare even think that he was not a good Catholic.  A very tender heart, and a perceptive mind.  I loved spending time with him and talking to him.  Though almost the age of my own Dad, he deeply respected me, solely because I was a Religious Brother and he knew that I was not messing around with my vocation - that was his great pride.

With his passing away, I realise one of my most strong links with Mangalore has snapped.  But one thing I'm sure, he is still smiling from above, as he always did - only this time there is no pain that he would need to hide. God bless you Uncle and THANKS for your valuable presence and meaning in my life and vocation.  You will ever be remembered! 

Adoption

My aunty and uncle who have been married for almost three decades are childless even now. Whenever I enter any new chapel, I somehow remember them... I do not know why. Anyhow, there is one thing that I always wanted to tell them but have not mustered enough courage: that they adopt a child. Among my relatives back in my hometown if there is anyone I am close, it is them both. Yet, we have never ever spoken of children in our conversation. For one, I myself have always consciously avoided this theme.

Today as I came across this video, my mind once again went to this dear Uncle and Aunty of mine. May God decide what is best for them!

What a miscall!

Baby aunty (my Mummy's younger sister) in Mangalore has devised a simple but novel way of staying in touch with all of us her dear ones... everyone, everyday and without incurring any expenditure too! She gives us all a miscall early in the morning just to mean, 'We are fine... have a nice day!'. We give back the miscall to reciprocate the same. In the beginning I found it very funny, but now when i have found out that she never misses a day and if by chance, I fail to reply her miscall by noon, she'd call up to enquire about my health. Now I know, it is not a child's play but a genuine effort of a loved one to be in touch, to express one's solidarity and affection - all of it, through a miscall!