Retreat at Hothorpe Hall

Two weeks ago attended the province retreat at Hothorpe hall.  The reflections by Fr Jose Louis Plascencia were rich and good (though listening to him read the talks word to word from the paper, in his heavy Mexican accent was not very enticing!). 

One of the main points of his reflections was the distinction he was drawing between manifestation and expression of love.  In the Salesian context of not only loving the young but also making them know that they are loved, Fr Plascencia was convinced of the need not only to merely express but manifest love.  During the days of the retreat it sounded something different and like a new insight.  However, going through the talks again the last few days, it did not really stand out as anything very different or special.  But another point of his namely that love involves not only giving but also receiving, even if it God who is the one loving, got me to some deeper reflection. 

Unlike our Hyderabad province retreat the retreats here are not in total silence.  In addition, after supper every night there is the 'social' event, wherein everyone sits with a glass of drink in the lounge together for a long casual evening.  Most of the younger confreres were happy to play football or tennis or table tennis in the afternoons and evenings.

However, those who wanted silence could very well make the whole retreat in silence.  At Hothorpe there was enough place to be all by oneself.  Located in a rural interior setting, the venue was very serene and beautiful.  I was happy to see cultivated farmlands after long.

The old stove in the Butler's room!  

Such plaques with quotes and text were placed all around the campus in the garden

The arch of trees just outside the main entrance.

In the neighbour's wheat field... this tree with its dried branches jutting out offered a quite a look!

(L to R): With Fr Tony Fernandes, Fr Andrew Ibrahim and Fr Saju on a boat ride at the Foxton Locks

Celebrating Br Michael Winstanley's b'day 

As it was...

Fr George Williams, one of the former provincials of GBR and the Regional of the earlier, English speaking region, used to say this at the end of the retreats.

After this whole week of retreat you all will say 'Glory be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit' and the following week it will be 'as it was in the beginning!'

Interesting summary of a typical retreat and the thereafter! 

More 'seedful' than fruitful...

I spent the previous week at Karimnagar for my retreat with Fr Kulandai SJ.  It was my maiden guided retreat and I truly felt, that it was the best thing I could asked for, given my state of mind and soul.  To describe what I went through during the past one week would be like asking someone else to tell me the taste of the food that I'm eating!  Hence I desist from penning anything much of last week.  However, the changes in myself would be more felt than described... so I'd like to leave it that way.

One interesting thing (among the many) that happened during the week was the sms from my wise-crackpot Rabbi. I had not heard from him for a long long time now. And then bang, in the middle of the retreat I receive an sms from him.

It is funny because we ask God to change our situation not knowing he put us in the situation to change us. 

Looked as if God was using a multi-dimensional approach to get to me!

All in all, I returned to my community more disturbed and uneasy than when I began the retreat, but this time for some other matter and at a very different level.  That way, I'd describe my retreat more and 'seedful', rather than fruitful!

Biased?

Today is the second day of the retreat.  Yesterday itself was quite a drag and hence right after the first talk in the morning, I switched the preacher!  I had brought with me the book Jesus' Plan for a New World (by Richard Rohr) and given the situation that the preacher of the retreat was merely reading full time some theological and Salesian facts, I fell back to the book for inspiration and reflection.  Nothing against the person of the preacher and I know that he is a very capable man wanted all over the region for his expertise, however, I feel this talks very dry and drab.

As if that was not enough, the Rector of the retreat, soon after the goodnight tonight asked me to say a few words of thanks to the Preacher and the Provincial house community at the end of the retreat!  I was praying that no one asks me to do that for then I'd be forced to lie about the preacher in public (at least say what I am not convinced of).  Anyway, I ultimately accepted when after much persuasion, the Rector told me this:

There is still time, perhaps there may be something good waiting along the way for you!  

Well, I certainly would like to leave that possibility very much open!

Annual retreat

It is after a gap of 7 years that I'm making a full-fledged retreat. The last one that I really and fully made was just before my perpetual profession. Ever since, it has always been in bits and pieces and at times never at all too. Anyway, here I am to see where and what the Lord wants to tell me...

A bit of grumbling...

Back in Kondadaba, life is already in full swing. We had the youth retreat this day... tiring and hopefully impact-filled for the 160 youth who attended the retreat. Personally for me, it was very tiresome. Not that I did anything for the retreat. Far from that, I was only supervising.

What drained me today was some of things I witnessed Brothers upto, that too immediately after the retreat. I arrived here last evening and very many told me that they liked the retreat and it did them good. But their behaviour and actions, showed little or no change at all, least of all their thought pattern or attitudes.

The worst I felt was when I saw so many of them clamouring to meet a particular Sister who was part of the retreat team, who according to many, shared with them their past and deepest thoughts. I realised this was true even last year too. But what pissed me off, was that our Brothers, at least quite a few of them, were only 'thrilled' by this...not moved by it. This whole experience, the retreat experience, remains at the emotional or feeling level. It does not percolate to deeper levels and help them review their life and take stock of situations. It does not help them form, or atleast make effort at forming, convictions.

Very many use their petty idea of spirituality and prayer as a shield justify their reason to be in the Seminary and enough reason to be Priests. Perhaps the Brothers cannot be blamed entirely too. They join the seminary for varied reasons and when they see that consecrated life is the easiest way of living a luxurious life (eating the cake and having it too) being lived out by their elders and those who are to be challenging role models, they justify their lethargy.

Debacle of the Spirit

Today was the maiden monthly recollection of our new academic year. It was animated by a lay couple from Buchirajupalem, Mr Claudius and Maria. They chose to lead the group in prayer through their singing rather than lengthy talks and sermons. But in doing so I also witnessed what I'd call the 'debacle of the Spirit'. The two of them led the whole prayer session and the afternoon adoration in English. Their singing was superb with very moving accompaniment. However, I observed that the Brothers were not really touched or involved. Reason: English, that too English hymns and singing, is just not their cup of tea! Therefore, I guess that was the reason why the Spirit would have found it difficult to make an entry into their hearts and minds. I'm sure if it were in Telugu there would have been much greater participation and life. Anyway, I guess the Spirit must be tired today in its efforts.

Add to that the Mass presided over by Fr Peter Sebastian, from the same Parish. Gosh, his sermon was so dramatic and eclectic. Half of the Brothers could not follow his language and the rest, found it to be something of a comedy show. All in all, I do not think there would be many who found anything worthwhile remembering and pondering over in the sermon of the day.

The one thing caught my attention during the sermon was Fr Peter Sebastian's use of the phrase 'Miracle mongers'. He used this phrase to refer to most of us who await for something to happen rather than be the miracle ourselves.

By the way, only today I did learn that Fr Peter Sebastian (photo: the one in the middle) was the one who brought out the first telugu edition of Vachanolsavam. He was the editor of it for nearly a year. Later it was taken up by Murigur itself.

Daily retreat

Past two days something that kept ringing a bell in my ears during the night prayers was the fact that there is a retreat going on here in the house! A retreat!! Sounds just a word but, a businessman that I'm slowly turning into, I only see it as yet another of income fetching programmes!! Well the consolation is that at least during my night prayers I remember to pray for the Sisters making their retreat.

I remember, my Novice Master, Fr Samala telling us that the Retreat is a special moment of grace not just for the ones making it but also for those involved in it. With me playing the host, am I not involved in it? But I hardly realize the grace it is offering me!

Shrunken faces and spirituality

Last night Alphonse, our cook made a very spontaneous and innocent statement which caught my attention immediately. It was regarding the Sisters who left the refectory within 20 mins after their supper - something unusual given the long time they'd spend otherwise. The reason according to Alphonse: "They started their retreat." How did he come to know that? "They were silent and their faces shrunk!" If our witness power is just that much - silence and shrunken faces - it says a great deal about the impact such a great source of spiritual renewal has on others and more importantly on us!