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02 October 2016

Agonizing Uncertainty

This morning after breakfast I visited the neighbouring Sisters' convent and wished some of the nuns who knew me for quite some time.  I took some more time with those in the infirmary.  Invariably each of them would ask when are you coming back.  At first I was saying, "after three years" and then I could see their expression. I could see a sense of 'death' - that they would not be around that long!  For the next few whom I met in the infirmary, I told them I'd be gone "only for a year."

I guess at that stage of life when you know death is round the corner, any talk or promise of an extended period always makes them fear that they'd not make it to that time.  No one knows when one will die but that awareness of death coming around anytime soon, is no consolation - it is more agonizing.

Anyway, they were glad that I took time to visit them to inform that I'd be leaving.  I was happy too! 

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