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03 February 2009

Learning to say 'no'

Saying 'no' is something I'm slowly learning. Yesterday I said a straight 'no' to a confrere who was already rejoicing as though the task at hand is over, all while still describing me his need. His shock when I said 'no' was evident in his voice. Believe me, he was here today to meet me in person!!

I stuck to my 'no' stand - I do have valid and genuine reasons to say so. Anyhow, I directed as to how best to do it himself or mentioned other people who could help him but resisted taking it upon myself. Somehow at the end, I could see the other person understanding my reasons - I didn't really explain them at all - for this 'no' of mine.

I remember Fr Lens saying to me long time ago when still an aspirant in Gunadala. There are two ways of helping people: you do it for them or you help them do it themselves. He concluded, the latter is better. Yesterday and today have been great lessons in the same. Let's see what awaits me tomorrow!

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