Mister God... and darkness

After much delay yesterday, I managed to complete reading Mister God, this is Anna. A very insightful book, I should say. Here are a few of excerpts:

• It didn't make sense to talk about different God; that kind of talk inevitably leads to madness. No, for Anna it was all or nothing; there could be only one Mister God. This being so, then the different places of worship, the kinds of names give to those worshippers could be due to one thing, and to one thing only: the different arrangements of the evidence for Mister God. (p.141-142)
• I call myself a Christian. What do you call yourself? I reckon Mister God must be pretty good at music, he knows all the names of the chords. Perhaps he doesn't mind what you call it, as long as you play it. (p. 143) Now that's something similar to Fr TV Thomas' mulberry tree and the Sister calling it a cherry tree!

Now this is quite interesting... all in praise of the night and darkness, because, it lets you see deep!

• The sun is nice, but it lights things up so much that you can't see very far.
• Your soul don't go very far in the daylight 'cos it stops where you can see.
• The nighttime is better. It stretches your soul right out to the stars. And that is a very long way. In the nighttime you don't have to stop going out. It's like you rears. In the daytime it's so noisy you can't hear. In the nighttime you can. The nighttime stretches you.
• My reason for preferring the darkness is that in the dark you have to describe yourself. In the daylight other people describe you.
• Never let anyone rob you of your right to be complete. The daylight is for the brain and the senses, the darkness is for the heart and the wits. Never, never be afraid. Your brain may fail you one day, but your heart won't. (Old Woody to Anna p. 151-152)

Formation, fear and principles

Formation is going to be a risky and tricky business as days go by. Not that it was any cake-walk earlier. But the nuances and pressures on formators and formees as well are going to be varied and subtle. However, the best part is that basics always remain the same. It therefore boils down to who follows the principles, to what extent, for what motive and with what results. This is where the whole debate comes back to.

I've always regarded that fear and formation never go hand in hand. Earlier days, it was the formees who feared the formators. These days it is the formators who are frightened of the formees!! Sounds strange but that seems to be the fact. But again as I said, basics remain intact: fear and formation do not go hand in hand!

I know very well that living all what you believe in can be dangerous - not for the you but for the ones you live with. But equally worse or damaging is to live a sub-standard life, a sort of life dictated by loose talk, fear or losing one's name, one filled with anxiety if I am pleasing all...

During the Brothers' Congress, after my talk, Br Rocha asked me in the general assembly if I have inspired anyone to become a Brother! I remembered what Fr Ivo once said about conversion and evangelisation: 'My work is proclamation. Conversion is the work of the Holy Spirit!' So too, in the field of formation, I believe my work is to show the right path - not even to lead the young. You follow a path and if you are so truthful and inspiring, the youngsters will follow you - not all, but the genuine ones. After all, you are not leading them to yourself, but to Christ.

During my days at Karunapuram, I was cautioned by one of my students in class for being too strict. He said, "Brother, you can take the horse to the water front but cannot make it drink the water!" I replied, "Very true! But I want the horse to know where to look for water when it is thirsty. I do not want the horse to go around telling other horses and donkeys that no one ever showed it where the water is!"

Someone's sanity and my comfort

Yesterday driving towards Secunderabad to pick up someone from the Railway station, at Langer Houz, I saw the 108 ambulance and a motley crowd of bystanders gathered under the new bridge. I saw that the were gathered around the insane man who was lying face down in the mud. I had seen this man very often around that area. This time I was glad that his agony had come to an end - or that my agony or guilt of seeing him often had come to an end! I was more happy that I did not have to see him again and feel bad about me not being of any help to him.

But this morning on my way to the vegetable market I saw him walking around! So I presume all that I saw yesterday was only a fluke incident and not even the hospital guys took him in! Anyway, he's alive and around.

Courage and silence

They say that the world is basically full of good people but not all are courageous. The man-made evil and confusion that is evident is not because there are bad people but because good people are not courageous enough to stand for what is true and just!

This morning's readings too triggered this thought in me. Take for example Joseph's brothers Reuben and Joshua. Both liked their brother, Joseph well enough to save him from being killed by their own siblings but not courageous enough to stand up to the group and say that what they were doing was wrong. Even the workers in the parable of the vineyard, those who plotted and killed the only heir. Had just one of them stood up to them and said that it was not the right thing to do, their conscience would not have let them do it so easily.

It is the silence of the noble that kills more than the sword of the maniac!

Insights...

One good insight from today's meeting of the formation commission was the idea of skill-need assessment. If implemented I am sure it would be a great benefit for our formation setting in the Province. Not that this is part of the formation procedures already in place. But looking at things already existing and emphasising them from a different and new perspective always brings forth new life and energy.

The idea is to carry out a need-assessment of all our formees at the beginning of the scholastic year. Basing on this finding, we need to provide the input session and animation along the year for this group - perhaps individually if need be. At the end of the academic year we need to have a skill-assessment done to see what progress the students have made over the year. There are few very crucial points here to be kept in mind and which we need to sort out. First among them, get the students involved. This is not a group or mass programme that fits in the same for all. Each one has to make the best of this and this programme has to be so tailored. How and where and who is yet to be finalised. Next important thing - perhaps the most important thing, once the student has done his part well, namely identifying those area(s) in which he needs help - is to to help the person over the year, along with his normal routine work. This calls for someone to be 'at it'.

Finally there is the skill-assessment at the end of the year. This is something that will tell us what the person has grown with, what has helped him in the process and now what he intends to do with what he has in hand. Somewhere down the line we will have to inculcate in the student that the skill acquired is not for personal gain alone. This skill needs to be transferred to other areas of life and passed on to others/youngsters too.

The best part of this envisaged programme is that it is totally by the student himself. There is no external agency or anyone else telling him what he has to do, why he has to do and what has happened to him. It is a process of self-learning and growth. Again, as I said in the beginning, not anything brand new... just old wine in new wine skins! Let's see how long it holds out!

Living and preaching

Trying to wait for Fr Maliekal to arrive, I was putting some order in my table drawers and I came across this collection of excerpts from Morris West's book, The Clowns of God. Nice way to conclude the day! The biggest mistake we've all made through the ages is to try to explain the ways of God to men. We shouldn't do that. We should just announce Him. He explains himself very well! (The 'Pope' to his bosom friend)

The Province website

At last the Province website is up and about. Lots more to do but for now it is online!! Some glitches remain but the joy of seeing it done is great. It was nice to see my DB DIGITS staff - Sheeba, Jecintha and Mallesh - to excited about the whole process - at times more than I. I remember at times I had to tell them to leave the office because they were still grappling with some things after working hours.

We dream of so many things but when we sit and chat it out with others we realise that there are other ways of doing it too. I realised this when at times I'd sit all night to get one small box in its place and the next morning, Sheeba would do it no time. There are also times when they struggle with something and I, through my 'trial and error' am able to help them out. True... knowledge grows when shared.

Accidents and further accidents!

Last two days I've been a bit busy with another in the series of road accidents and related injuries and vehicles and police station and WHAT NOT!!! In a mockery of events, the very vehicle which was being brought back from the garage after repair since the last accident ended up with a broken front glass!! On its way back it knocked down the bike (our own bike, with another of our driver riding it) and people nearby stopped the four-wheeler, dragged our driver out, bashed him up and smashed up the glass (icing on the cake). The bike rider was down with a broken head and left hand!!

I don't understand what thrill people get in bashing up drivers and further damaging vehicles at an accident scene. Helping the ones injured is a noble task which few venture to carry out. But this bashing drama, there are some specialised at every place!!

God give them some brains!!

Women in my life

Today is Women's day and I think I should post something about some of the women who have touched and moulded my life. First and foremost, of course is my Mummy! If there is anyone in the world of whom I can be truly proud of, it is my Mummy and Daddy. Not that they did anything or achieved anything great. But that it is basically from them that I learnt what life is and what is the best way to live it. Mummy and Daddy never pampered us (my brother and me) but they did not even persecute us. Things weren't as rosy and smooth as now, when we were small. Those were hard times. Yet my brother and I never felt the weight or burden of it. Mostly because Papa and Mummy took it wholy upon themselves. Yet they helped us see that life is difficult. One has to slog to satisfactorily enjoy the meal at hand. We did not get the best of what was available but what we got (be it uniform, clothes, food, gifts...) turned out to be the best because it was out of sheer hard work and love. Today I am proud to say that I am willing to do any work - thanks to Papa and Mummy who showed me that work is sacred and good.

Then there is Leena Aunty - someone whom I admire for her courage and grit. Life has surely been very cruel to her, yet she fights. Then there is Baby Aunty who is ever so cheerful and homely. Again she too has her share of woes but that does mean she carries it around for all to see. There is of course, my grandma, who is no more. I guess all three of them (my Mummy and my aunties) only inherited this graceful life from my grandma. Hats off to her for simplicity in living one's life, the courage to face difficulties, the depth of love to keep the family united and the zeal to work anytime, anywhere, whatever!

Thank you God for these women in my life. They mean a world to me!

Courage to invite boys to join us

This month's Provincial circular speaks of recommending ourselves to youngsters as models and having the courage to propose to them the Salesian consecrated life. Indeed a very touching issue. Frankly speaking when I see that we hardly get any vocations from our own settings it looks ridiculous. Take for instance my own school. I am the only one from that school to be a Salesian. I know not if there are any who joined other congregations or dioceses. But in its 29 year old history, just one vocation? It tells something about our style of functioning.

Earlier when as a student of Philosophy helping out in the vocation camps, there used to be large number from Guntur - from our own technical school. Now I doubt if there are any from there. I'm told that among the present batch of novices there is none who was ever in touch with any Salesian or Salesian institute before reaching the aspirantate in Gunadala. Whew!!!

I do not say we Salesians do not work. But I guess we do not work properly - in ways that we are seen as men of God and committed to the responsibilities entrusted. Worse still we fear to invite young people to join us - fear because we may be asked "Why? What for?" and we do not have answers to it.

My frank opinion, if my life is worth its calling, no one will dare ask me, for the answer is there for anyone to see - just like an open book. May God help us in outlasting ourselves.