Alarm blues

 Years ago while as students at The Retreat, Yercaud, I had a senior who was weird in every sense of the word and deed. He once borrowed (by force) from another companion an alarm piece. This alarm was a bit of a fancy one with multiple options and what not. 

This senior set the alarm much earlier than the usual rising time and woke up when it rang in the morning. So far so good. But he hadn't bothered to learn how to switch it off! And being in the dormitory of 30 people, most of us cousins of Kumbhakarna who love our sleep, this continuous alarm was a disturbance. This senior first tried to silence the alarm by putting it under the pillow. No chance of the sound not still being a nuisance. Then he put it inside the individual wooden locker. Still no much of a difference. After a few minutes of fellows yelling and shouting to put off the alarm, silence prevailed. 

After breakfast, during morning jobs, the owner of the alarm approached this senior and scolded him because everyone was cursing him thinking it was him who caused nuisance early morning - after all all of us knew him to be the owner of that alarm. The senior too was fed up with a few of his immediate neighbours who gave him a piece of their mind for the confusion in the dormitory. He told this owner, "Go, collect it!" "Collect it? From where?", asked the owner. "From the terrace!" came the reply!!

Dreams and discernment

 Listening to the brief homily of the Mass of St Joseph, it struck me that Joseph received all his communication or 'instructuons' via dreams! He dreamt an angel telling him to take Mary as his wife. He was told in a dream to flee Jerusalem. He was informed in a dream to return from Egypt. He truly was a man of dreams!! And faith, to believe that what he saw in a dream was what was actually expected of him.

Then it also struck me, Don Bosco was a man of dreams! The number of dreams that full his biographies! So did Martin Luther King dream! And Abdul Kalam speak of his numerous dreams. 

All these great visionaries and leaders were guide by dreams. If course, not all of them would have been something they went through, at night lying flat in their bed. Yet these are the facts that drove them. That propelled their actions and their whole life.

Hence the confirmation of my prayer which Ive been praying more and more: 

Lord grant me the wisdom to discern Your will and the courage to live it, no matter the cost.

The axe was long falling

 Today was another serious confrontation, butthis one was very peaceful and calm. Most probably because even before the individual entered my office he knew he had no line of defence. Yet, that did not deter him from putting forth some lousy illogical arguments, which was evidently not clear to himself in the first place. 

Within a few minutes into our dialogue, his initial little hope began to evaporate. I could see it on his face. I could read it in his eyes. He didn't put up any fight, but merely surrendered to what he already guessed would be the final outcome. 

At a point I felt sad for him, for he is much senior to me. I could see that he felt cornered and helpless, not because of me or my questions, but because of what has lead to this day, this heartbreaking dialogue - his own doings. 

Looking back at the whole discussion, given the context and content, I feel pleased with how I put forth my points - firmly and clearly, without in any way humiliating or disrespecting the person. Even though none of his responses were anywhere near truthful or convincing, I did not loose my cool, not even a frown. Perhaps also because he never 'fought'. He knew the axe was long falling.

St Joseph

Joseph, the Church of God protect;

Her priests with holy care endow; 

Shield of the virgin-souls elect

Hope of the fatherless be thou:

And when our parting spirits cling

To earthly joys that cannot bide,

Make Nazareth in our homes, and bring

Jesus and Mary to our side.

Guilt, courage and change

 When confronted by someone, abruptly out of the blues, with some serious lacuna or fault of ours, the most common and immediate reaction (besides shock) is denial.  One is too lost to see oneself 'naked', exposed.  Naturally the mind goes into overdrive to cover oneself up - with whatever one can think of!  In this process, one blurts out things which often end up doing more damage than good.  

While this immediate response or reaction is understandable, continuing to be in that same state of denial and attempting to cover things up, is a sign of a weakened conscience. Such a person will always find it hard to make any changes in one's own life, because he or she has not really accepted the truth about oneself.  Without primarily accepting one's own given situation, and acknowledging (at least to oneself) that it is not the best of oneself, how does one move to a better state of life or living?  

While guilt is a terrible burden, it can also move us to be courageous.  Courageous enough to accept the fault and seek ways to make up for it, all the while keen on making oneself a better person.  I also understand that it is easy for me to write this, as one not affected.  Nonetheless, I tell myself, if I do not have the honesty to admit my own mistakes, small ones to begin with, and in all sincerity, I will never have the courage needed to admit mistakes that I constantly bury without a funeral! 

Comfort in misery

 The incident we hear in the gospel today can also be interpreted differently, indicating to us that the Lord expects us to take responsibility for ourselves.  Not merely wait for help to arrive and do all the work.  We are expected to do the heavy lifting ourselves, for ourselves! 

The man at the pool of Bethesda, is shown as waiting for healing. Unfortunately there is always - always?- someone who enters into the stirred miraculous waters before he could.  Now this could be the case of a couple of days or months.  But it cannot be so for ages!  Unless, the man himself is not keen to get healed!  He is comfortable in his misery. Perhaps, he is used to earning a living 'showcasing' his physical condition of paralysis. 

To such a man shirking his responsibility, Jesus says: 'Pick up your bed!'  

While God's grace and peoples generosity requires no additional support or reason, one cannot escape one's own responsibility towards oneself. Healing, change, growth are matters - among many others - which require one's own consent and will.  

Some English tips!

 This morning one confrere during the meeting concluded his observation thus: 

One cannot expect everyone to know everything on one's FINGER SPOTS!

This confrere often comes up with such words or phrases, with such confidence, in public, that those who know a little good use of English sometimes begin to doubt their own knowledge!

Balanced apostolate

 Among the Priests and religious there is an allergy towards the paper and desk.  So anything to do with studies, documentation, forms, surveys, reflection is always the last thing to be attempted - if at all one does.  The contemporary religious are light years away from the priests and monks of the medieval ages who excelled in diverse fields. 

Today our morning discussion as part of the Mission Poverty Eradication review, I realised another dimension of the same 'desk-fatigue'.  But this dimension has more to do with a lack of organisation and repetition that leads one to slump everytime one hears or is told to fill out a form.  

There is a tussle between engaging oneself in/with charismatic services or apostolate on the one hand, and keeping tab on the impact or effect, on the other.  Called to be apostles, the Gospel does not tell us to keep track of all the good one does: let not your left hand know what your right hand is doing. One is called to love and do good. End of story.  But unless one does an assessment or review of what one has done and if that has actually done some benefit, one does not know if he or she has to continue the service, the style and the procedure or rework it all.  Furthermore there is the fear of the inability to answer the question: 'What are you doing?' or 'What did you do?'

While the value of accountability can never be undermined, on the one hand is the accountability to God and to one's own conscience. For this no log book or account abstract need to be prepared.  On the other hand, one is also called to be accountable to our benefactors, the government, the religious community, the society at large. 

One has to have a BALANCED approach.  If lobsided, one might as well live in a cloistered monastery (but even there one will have to be accountable in the latter sense!) or in a cave, all by oneself. And if leaning on the other side, one might not be charismatic.  

Alone [Alan Walker and Ava Max]

 

We all need that someone who gets you like no one else 

 Right when you need it the most 

 We all need a soul to rely on, a shoulder to cry on 

 A friend through the highs and the lows

God and humanity

 

The amazing ability

Sherlock Holmes and his smart assistant Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, enjoy a heavy barbeque dinner with a bottle of whisky, set up their tent, and fall asleep. 

Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” 

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!” 

Watson had missed the most obvious observation. He was clever enough to notice the complexities of the stars, but he missed what was plain and simple. 

I remember this particular phrase in the book Jesus plan for a new world, which the author uses to describe the apostles, as to how they had "the amazing ability to miss the point." Even the most best of us sometimes miss the obvious.

Doggy conversation

 Sometime in the morning, while scrolling through a news article, I came across this particular teaching asking her students to come up with a creative writing essay about the conversation between two dogs.  I thought it was a brilliant idea evoking and tickling creative energies of children.  I'd love to see what my nephew and niece would come up with, if I were to assign them this task!  

And just as I was calling it a day - or night? - I came across this cartoon! 

A good way to end a rather satisfying day! 

Busy, but satisfying day

 After long - really a very long time - feel a sense of excitement about the various tasks being carried out. I think, today I practically touched every field of work that I have ever involved myself in (except Philosophy!!!).  

Almost completed a script for a 60 sec video on the theme of solar energy production, keeping in mind for a school ... in line with my own responsibility of administration. But with my media experience!  Feel good about it. Of course, the video itself is not started. But the concept, and it taking the shape of a script is greatly fulfilling. 

Then there was the issue of property tax and its nuanced loopholes and solutions as well. Great lengths of discussion and learning about it today. 

Land matters is something that is becoming something of a common topic everyday! More problems and in a way, more possibilities as well.  Talking about it with people of interest, gave me a possibility which never occurred to me before. That was exciting! 

Then there was a large chunk of the day spent on moving forward a project on digital documentation. As I confessed in my mail to all those involved, having people so excited about it and breathing down on our necks (in a very very positive manner) propels the rest of us to action.  Besides the adventure of the work itself, there is also the thrill of working with like-minded passionate people.  Oh, it is a great adrenalin boost! 

Being the economer, not a day goes by without doing some math!  So it was!  

Chalk to tapes and poles

 Today I have been discussing with various people, about various issues, legal and land matters.  It has been very diverse and complicated.  During one such conversation after supper at table, here in Vijayawada, I remembered an incident nearly four years ago. 

I had just taken charge as the Economer and one day along with Thathi and KP Mathew found myself in Mallepalli, Nalgonda. We were doing a land survey of a plot of land promised to us Salesians.  As I was assisting the surveyor, with his tape and digital pole, at one point I noticed Thathi smiling.  When asked what he was amused at, he replied, "Instead of some chalk you are now holding tapes and poles!" 

Well, at times I chuckle to myself.  From what to where have I come, in these part four years!  From being a teacher of philosophy to a financial administrator! That too with no background whatsoever about matters related to law, land, administration and finance!  That said, do I have any regrets? None at all.  Because I know what I am here for is not to do what I want to, but what God and the Congregation wants me to.  Mine is not to ask what and where, but to do with my whole heart whatever it is that is asked for the good of all, especially the young. 

Influenced and altered

 A group of two brothers were roaming in the forest, when they found a couple of tiny birds of the family of linnets. When the boys got the birds home, they put the linnets in a cage, opposite the canary bird, which was held in another cage. (Canary birds are known to be “Singing Birds”) 

 They explained to their mother that they hoped the linnets - being so young - would learn to imitate the singing canary. Instead of cheeping as normally birds do, they expected them to sing (like the canary). 

 The next day the boys entered the room, and exclaimed: "Mother, come here, look what has happened! Our canary is cheeping like a linnet!" The mother came in and found it so! 

Instead of the linnets learning to sing, the canary bird forgot its ability to sing! Thus, the canary had to be separated from the wild birds of the wood and kept under cover for a time before regaining the singing ability. 

Such is the case with Christians or anyone who allow themselves to be “influenced and altered” by the ways of the world! We may end up losing the “Song of our Faith!”

[Reflection by Fr Jijo Jose Manjackal MSFS]

Rethinking apostolate

 We Salesians have earned for ourselves a reputation for 'going big'. Our interventions on behalf of the young are often mega events and involving large numbers.

Our buildings and homes are huge. So much so, that if we have a small residence or building we feel claustrophobic - the young therein are absolutely not bothered by the size of the building though! 

Perhaps this has been one of our characteristic style of operating. But we need to realise that we have huge multiple buildings but no children therein! If we do, they are so few that even if we allot a room for each, we will still have rooms to spare! We may still be blessed with 6-7 digit figure project funding, but those projects define our apostolate; not the need of the place or the poor that define our mission. 

Sooner than later we will need to radically rewire ourselves, our attitude and our approach to see apostolate as disjoint from buildings, projects, and a 'me-first' outlook. Move from 'going big' to 'going deep'.

Don Bosco's boys spilled all over the place and then he built bigger places; he didn't build mega houses and then look for boys to fill the house!

Parking confreres

 I had a good laugh when I came across a statement in a letter written jointly by the Formation councillor and Economer General.  The statement reads 'Rome is not the place to 'park' out of the province for a few year difficult confreres'. 

What an expression!! Park confreres! Very very apt and direct.  Couldn't agree better! 

I remember almost two decades ago when I was in a student community comprising of priests and religious from various congregations, there were a couple of priests who certainly were there purely because their congregations had 'parked' them there!!  No other reason!  Not for studies. Not for their growth.  Not for the mission.  But purely for those back in their own Province or Diocese, to breathe easy for a couple of years... at the cost of that student community!  The only good thing the rest of the community felt because of their presence in our religious house was that the lives of two families (if these two gentlemen were to have got married and had families of their own) were saved! 

I guess that's one of the serious drawbacks of priestly and religious life: when someone is absolutely an unfit - even by his or her own judgement - in the community, province/diocese, anywhere and everywhere, no one can do anything other than bear and bear (the patience to grin is long evaporated!). Neither will the person himself/herself have the moral conscience to walk out; nor can others throw him/her out.  

Pride

A former and famous world heavyweight boxing champ, considered among one of the greatest sportsman of all time was also infamous for bragging, often saying, "I am the greatest!" 

 Once before the take off on an airplane the stewardess reminded this boxer to fasten his seatbelt. "Superman don't need no seatbelt," he told her with pride. 

The stewardess was unwilling to compromise. So she retarded, "Superman don't need no airplane either." 

 The boxer was naturally discomfited in his pride. In shame, he fastened his seatbelt without saying an extra word. 

 Pride can block a person from being open to the views, trends and wavelengths of other people and situations. Even shutting out God from our plans, proposals and journey - under the impression that 'I can do it all'.

Education or Customer service

 Teaching profession is considered and IS more a vocation than a career.  There are very many teachers who treat their work more as a service than a timed-duty which they fulfill merely for the remuneration. These are the teachers who go over and beyond the mere classrooms and exams and marks.  They see students more as children... at times, like their own!  

However, with the shift in market trends and culture in the society at large, education is more seen as a ladder to prosperity than a moulding of character. In such a context, it is often the teacher who ends up at the receiving end.  Parents demand that teachers 'teach' their children, convinced that having paid the fees, it is now the responsibility of  the school and teachers to 'educate' their children.  Their role as primary educators is easily forgotten and passed on to the teachers.  

I came across an article which aptly described today's education scenario as a 'customer service' enterprise, where parents and students are out to demand from the teacher.  The wrong notion that the parent or the child is a customer is at the root of it all.  The worst is to misunderstand education as a commodity; rather than a value based skill to improve one's character, personality and convictions.  

The teacher, like stated by Socrates and Aristotle, is only a facilitator who assists the student to become wise (not merely a basket of knowledge or information).  The teacher does not 'pour' or 'fill' the student with knowledge - that would be an insult to the child/student itself! 

The power of personal experience

We believe not because you said so, but because we have seen and met Him ourselves.

This is the line that the Samaritans state to the woman whom Jesus interacts with at the well (today's Gospel passage).  There is a whole lot of boundaries or social taboos that Jesus breaks or goes beyond - just in today's gospel passage.  He is interacting with a non-Jew.  That too a Samaritan.  All the more a woman.  That too a woman, of not so good repute.  

And Jesus feels filled.  "I have food that you do not know of!" 

Jesus sees beyond each of these social barriers and obstacles and reaches out to a human being.  

And that decision of Jesus, followed by his action of seeing through his mission, wins him a whole village!  

The villagers now believe in Jesus not because he performed a miracle or a great favour.  He merely interacted with them as a human being, a fellow creature.  

This particular image is the only one I came across where the woman is seated and Jesus is the one standing.  

Halo

 

Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby, I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace You're everything I need and more It's written all over your face Baby, I can feel your halo Pray it won't fade away

Indian traffic

Traffic in the major cities of India can be at times horrific.  Although Hyderabad is far better than other metropolitan cities of the country, there are days and times, when things come to a standstill, for long.  

Hence I prefer to ride the bike in the city when visiting communities within the city or for any other office purpose.  It reduces the travel time by half, easily.  

Added to the traffic blues are the parking woes.  Hence bike travel is ideal. Of course, manoeuvring a bike through the erratic Indian traffic comes with its own risks! Everytime I ride the bike in the city I remember one of my former Rectors, while in the UK.  He loved to ride the bike, but he couldn't even imagine riding one in India!  

My basic take on the traffic issue is that the basic infrastructure is in place for a convenient and smooth travel.  Although there are some hiccups like road works, bottlenecks, potholes, and the encroachment of the pavement and even the main road by street vendors, these are not the worst contributors to the traffic.  What builds congestion and heavy traffic on our Indian roads is our driving habits.  We have rules, but none are respected, leave alone followed.  Our erratic driving skills contribute most to the heavy traffic on the city roads. 

That said, the same driving skills also sharpen our senses to a great extent!! For we need to drive not just using one's own mind, but all the while anticipating what the other drivers and riders on the road are thinking and going to do, while driving! 

Disconnect of the tongue

Like every other species on the earth, we humans too love to communicate... especially, by way of talking. So much so, for most of us prolonged silence is almost practically impossible. 

While that is the case of most of the population, there is a small portion of humanity which prefers to speak less.  Among this minority, there are few who barely speak at all. With people of such ability, conversation becomes very difficult. Then there are those whose silence cuts us off from even gauging what's going on in their mind.  

There are those rare few who speak very little but when they do speak they make utmost sense. Hence it is a joy to listen to them.  

A few people have a tongue that has a mind of its own.  Sooner than later, other realise how fickle such people can be.  

Then there are those whose tongue is totally disconnected from their mind; a total rapture of the nerve linking the tongue and the brain. I know of a handful of such and I stay away from them!  Worse still, if link to the heart is also missing!  Such people are toxic.  

Government bureaucracy

 I spent another futile afternoon today trying to sort out and bring to conclusion an issue about the property tax of one of our institutions.  It has been rolling around and never making much headway for the past 10 years.  

The assessment was miscalculated in 2016. This error was pointed out to the GHMC then itself. They officially, in writing, acknowledged their mistake and assured us that the correction would be done.  Then covid happened.  Two years later we got a fresh tax invoice with the old miscalculated amount - only this invoice also contained the penalty for non-payment, and interest on it too.  

We later found out that the file never made it to the Collector's office, where the final signature was to be affixed to confirm the correction.  So much for Indian bureaucracy!  

Now the tragedy is that for the failure of the government servants, we are to pay the hefty fine.  For the past four years, every month of March, there is some offer from the municipality and they raise our hopes that this issue would be addressed and we get to clear the backlogs - what we rightly need to pay.  The only consolation this year was that the official explaining to us was polite and honest to say that nothing can be done about the correction now.  Last year the official was rude and shameless, demanding that we pay up because 'you have money!'.  

The sad part of this kind of bureaucracy is that irrespective of who does the mistake or delay, the citizen has to bear the brunt of it all, in its totality. 

Another year of life

 Another year has gone by and I still don't claim to be any wiser!  More knowledge, yes. But not sure about deeper wisdom!  Nonetheless, am utterly GRATEFUL to everyone and everything that has come my way and assisted me in my growth. 

The morning was a good and very meaningful celebration with all from home attending Mass.  Mummy was the most moved of all!  I gather her fear is that I may not be looked after in my later years!  Hence she is closely watching how we take care of one another. I feel today's post-Mass spontaneous thanksgiving of hers was stemming from that same fear/assurance.  

Whatever it be, it was good to be celebrated... honestly and from the heart. 

Felicitations

 The art of impressing others is an feature present in most species, even in human beings. Nonetheless within the human species some individuals excel in this art. However there are some who overdo it, bordering or even crossing the threshold of nauseating flattery.

Among the priests and religious there is this tendency to felicitate and honour, often exaggerated, our Bishops, Provincials and General superiors. I personally have no issues with respecting persons, but not for holding positions or responsibilities. I'd rather respect and appreciate persons for their goodness, service and self-gift to others. 

Hence I would felicitate someone - or be felicitated myself - only and only AFTER someone has done some good; rather than taken charge of a role or begun a function! And that too, to be a genuine thanksgiving than a pompous show.

Religious discipline

Most of us look for motivation... mostly to stick to our goals and resolutions.  Hence the plethora of motivational talks and quotes that one finds on social media and whatsapp messages.  Nonetheless, what keeps one going is a commitment, a discipline, a consistent rhythm.  In that sense, motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.  

So I ask myself, is religious life and its principles, my motivation or a discipline? It ought to be a discipline.  Motivation can be temporary and not always available.  But what I can and should commit myself to is a discipline, a rhythm of life based on the Gospels.  

Life as a religious is no different from that of a sports person. Both the streams of life demand a certain stringent discipline, without which one gets no where and barely achieves anything worth at all.  Perhaps, just a difference of reason and purpose. A religious lives for God and people to whom he or she has committed his or her life to.  A sports person lives for the merit of the game. 

The beauty of this discipline is that when supported by love, it becomes a vocation; if not, it is an obsession.  

Developed India!

 Last month a couple of us were travelling by train and part of the discussion was about the progress the government claims to have made and all that political jargon. 

And at Rajamundry station we got hard evidence of it all... 

Coming around

 The luxury of choice in human life is vast and unimaginable.  We make choices every moment of our life. 

From picking up good looking vegetables, to people we choose to marry; from choosing to sleep an extra hour to deciding to quit a high-paying salary.  Even in moments when we seemingly feel we are not making a choice, for in the very act of not choosing either of the options, we CHOOSE not to act!  Whatever it be, each of those choices, has consequences and impact on our life.  

One amusing statement that I recently came across: You buy good potatoes and reject the bad ones. The bad ones return in your life through samosas, chat, burgers, chips...!

Move on

 The natural human tendency is to stay put and pitch a tent and get comfortable. No one likes to be constantly changing and moving - not even those with wanderlust! 

However, that is exactly what the Lord recommends us not to settle for.  The transfiguration scene is where the Lord tells us 'move on'. The clue for this same instruction is already in the first reading of the day, where Yahweh tells Abram, leave the place where you right now are and follow me. I've prepared a place for you.  

Interesting to note, Abram gets going.  He has no clue of the place, not even the name of the place.  What's more interesting is that when he gets there, it is already occupied by others!  Yahweh never gave it on a platter to him. 

As one striving to live by faith, the Lord calls each of us, not just to move on, but to 'follow Him'.  Therefore the prayer ought not to be: Be with us us, Lord; rather it should be: Help me stick close to You, Lord. 

For He is ALWAYS with me.