Reminiscing 2015

As the year 2015 comes to a close, I realise it has been on the most touching years of my experience.  Surely there have been more 'downs' than 'ups'.  Nonetheless, I'm contended with what has been laid before me.

It is a year that I've

• seen the worst of Salesian religious life, not so much the scandal but the mediocrity which is perhaps the hidden and the beginning of the former.  
• waged an almost losing battle against a sort of lethargy and complacency against the very people appointed to ensure a certain credible standards in our life and behaviour.
• been frustrated at my own efforts of being a passive observer in spite of my vigorous attempts to be and do otherwise. 
• also had a refreshing break at Punganur (which would not have been if not for all the above).  The warmth and the freshness of a school setting, in a rural area. 
• had and still enjoying the enriching stay at Ramanthapur with the children from a different setting - each one a world apart.  
• come close to several of whom were almost at the edge of my life. Met friends (though not in the most joyful of circumstances) after two decades or so. 
• been supported by quite a few, understanding the pain and suffocation that I was going through within.  Their concern and guidance has indeed been a great source of strength.  
• questioned much... my principles, my values, my methods, my priorities and in doing so learnt to see things around me in a much different light.  
• missed the classroom. 
• spent three months without the internet and enjoyed bliss! 
• had very many moments of total blankness... a sort of dilemma unable to decide what next... but surprisingly been very calm and serene about and in and through it all. 
• gossiped much, prayed less, written very little, hardly read ... but observed quite a lot.