People often say that trust is the bonding factor in a relationship. In religious life too trust plays a very important role in building communities and lasting bonds. However, I also believe that prior to trust it is vulnerability that plays a crucial role. Not just being vulnerable but recognising and having the courage to acknowledge that vulnerability to those whom I live with. That indeed is risky and dangerous. But there are no short cuts to forming real relationships.
Very often we as religious are reluctant to share our vulnerabilities. No one feels great or is pleased to share one's own weaknesses. All our achievements and strengths are broadcast but the weaknesses and failures we keep them private. That is natural. But in order to gain someone's trust the best way is to share with the person something personal, so that the person feels that the other is not just mouthing good things but sharing something of his or her own self. What often keeps us from sharing our weaknesses from one another is the fear that the other may use them against me or make them public. Genuine fears but mostly prejudiced.
I've seen myself the strength of confreres working together once they have bonded well. Individually they may not be exceptionally talented or gifted but once they learn to trust each other, we complement one another and the tasks at hand become adventures. Communities that are willing to sit and share, talk, exchange not just plans and ideas but feelings, emotions and requests for help, have a greater degree of strength and effectiveness in apostolate. The element of witness is truly inspirational.
Very often we as religious are reluctant to share our vulnerabilities. No one feels great or is pleased to share one's own weaknesses. All our achievements and strengths are broadcast but the weaknesses and failures we keep them private. That is natural. But in order to gain someone's trust the best way is to share with the person something personal, so that the person feels that the other is not just mouthing good things but sharing something of his or her own self. What often keeps us from sharing our weaknesses from one another is the fear that the other may use them against me or make them public. Genuine fears but mostly prejudiced.
I've seen myself the strength of confreres working together once they have bonded well. Individually they may not be exceptionally talented or gifted but once they learn to trust each other, we complement one another and the tasks at hand become adventures. Communities that are willing to sit and share, talk, exchange not just plans and ideas but feelings, emotions and requests for help, have a greater degree of strength and effectiveness in apostolate. The element of witness is truly inspirational.
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