Prayer

My prayer on the feast of Don Bosco... (for myself!)
May I genuinely love the young, so much so that I do not have to 'proclaim' to them that I do so, but my mere presence announces my affection for them!  In this being carried out, I pray that I learn to be less of myself and constantly cherishing the Lord's presence with me.
Amen!

Papa

Dyna, my cousin sister, always called Papa, 'byoun' ... it rhymed with his Konkani name 'Zuon', for John.  However, the meaning of it was known to all.  Papa really had the capacity to gulp much.  Nonetheless in all these years, he never ever raised his hand, even when he was totally zonked out - which was quite often. 

Willy named him 'Superman'.  Not only he, several others in the family too called him by that name.  Papa was always happy about it.  I gathered he liked it, as it was not something irritating but named after some innocent incident.  However, I never really knew the origin of that name.  Neither did I call him by that name anytime.  Only after the funeral did I once ask Willy, how did that name start and stick.  Willy tells me that it was soon after his and Roshni's wedding that they were all taking around the wedding guests, showing them Hyderabad.  At one of the tourist spots Papa stood beside a cutout of superman, mimicking it by flexing his muscles.  That's how Willy gave him that name and it really did stick.  That was the name we heard at home all the time! 

Looking further back, to days when Willy and I were really small, I really believed him to be a strong man, a superman! Not the sort who did all amazing things, but certainly for his dedication and ability to carry on working, slogging, day after day, no matter what.  Six days a week he slogged.  When he came home, he really was tired.  Initially he cycled to his workplace.  Then for a while he took the bus.  Then he bought a Moped.  But for years, it was his atlas cycle.  As a boy, I never really knew his work place. Only many years later, he took me once.  That trip was by car.  Only that day it struck me - and struck me hard - to see the distance he covered by cycle, everyday! 

Thank you Papa!  

Blending spirituality and work

Why Don Bosco appeals to me ... today?

For me, it is his ability to blend spirituality with the most mundane and 'unearthly work', that fascinates me most. He did not 'use' spirituality to counter the difficulties of working with difficult teenagers.  Neither did he 'use' his work for the teenagers as a 'proof' of his spiritual side.  His spiritual dimension blended beautifully with his work for his poor unruly and uneducated boys.  They did not support one another but we in a strange way brought to a sort of union.  It is this splendid integration of the spiritual with the mundane, that appeals me most of Don Bosco... today (later there may be something else that may appeal to me... for Don Bosco, like Christ, never fails to inspire and amaze!). 

Mindless reading

Of late I've begun to realize that first time reading does not really lay out the meaning of what I'm reading.  Worse if it is a dense philosophical text.  Not that I haven't read it properly or that the text is totally new.  Just that after doing the reading, nothing sticks to the mind. 

I'd attribute this flaw in reading to our daily recital of morning prayers! Over the years, praying those psalms and canticles, without paying any attention to what those words mean has now turned into a kind of habit which applies to all and any reading - mindless reading!  On the other hand, the scripture passages in the same morning prayers are the basis of my meditation.  So somehow, they evoke thought and reflection - eve if at times they are not read by me, but by someone else.  Even this very thought came to my mind, while 'reading - mindlessly - the prayers' a couple of days ago!

So there is some hope! Not all is lost! 

RE answers

Correcting my Year 9 students Religious education (RE) exam papers...
Question on heresies: Explain two heresies in the Church.
Answer: John the Baptist and Jesus.
(In that case there isn't the Church at all... that's quite a serious set of heretics!)

Another line from one of the students, while offering a scriptural passage as a proof of the Church being 'apostolic':
"You are Peter and on this rock, I give you the key!"
(Two in one: rock and key... quite rocking!)

Reading old newspapers

If I'm not mistaken I came across this particular phrase or proverb for the first time in one of R.K. Narayan's works:  When cleaning the temple courtyard don't start reading the newspaper flying around.

In our context it would be most appropriate to reword it as 'when cleaning a cupboard, don't start reading the old newspapers!' Everytime we work we have a hundred and other works and 'things to do' that keep propping up in our mind.  So rather than concentrate on the task at hand, we either try to 'multi-task' or end up wasting time finishing the task because our mind has been planning about the next one.  I've realised that I'm taking way long to prepare for my classes.  Not that the content is heavy and therefore requires serious work - far from it.  I keep thinking of another subject or drawing up a list of the other tasks that need to be done.  In the meantime the one that I'm working on gets delayed. 

On the other hand, the thrill of letting our minds wander and re-collect odd memories and ideas, right in the midst of some serious preparation, is indeed very fascinating.  Some of these memories are very old and not often thought of.  Most interesting is the people it reminds me of.  Some of whom I've not remembered for long!  

Broken Bread

When a glass or ceramic plate falls to the ground and breaks, it breaks!  There is no pattern or fixed design that it breaks in or into.  It just turns into pieces.  To expect, something to break into symmetric and orderly pieces is irrational.

Whenever we have the community Mass, it is interesting to note how the Eucharistic bread is broken.  Fr John has told me a couple of times (in the context of using small hosts rather than the big one) that he prefers to use the big one and break it, even if that means additional work.  The theology behind it: 'breaking' of the bread. 

He took the bread, broke it, and gave it to His disciples.

So he prefers it to use the big host alone and not big and small hosts, for all partake of the same bread.  And when he breaks the bread, it is hardly in any orderly fashion.  He literally breaks it!!  There are times when I have said to myself, why not break it more 'neatly'?  Today it occurred to me that if broken, then broken!  Not divided equally! 

Most important of all, it occurred to me this morning that rather than 'see' Jesus in the Eucharist, I was looking for symmetry and order of the broken host!  I don't think, I'll stop noticing the odd shapes of the broken host, but I need to start noticing Jesus therin too!  

Compromises

The situation of the Church, or even of the congregation, back in the country is pretty delicate.  While most of the country, especially young people, are at the forefront of the protests against the NRC and CAA, the Church and particularly, we Salesians are missing! 

One of the many reasons, we find ourselves conspicuous by our absence, is because we have 'institutionalised ourselves'.  Not only have we institutions that need 'protection' our whole mentality has become very institutional.  We would not want to risk.  We certainly do not want to stick out our head.  This could be said of most of the citizens.  But when very many citizens from different walks of life are coming together to protest and make a stand against what is seen as unjust, unconstitutional (atleast for now - you never know, because the next move is going to be changing the very constitution itself!), and undemocratic, why hesitate? 

While our institutions are a great asset, it is times as these that force us to question and see if they have also become our greatest liabilities?  The basic question we need to ask ourselves, Christians and Salesians, what is right and are we taking a stand?  And if we know what is right, but not taking a stand for what is right, then we have compromised our basic values.  And if we still do not know what is right, we have adopted the ostrich mentality.  And if we are unsure, it is time we sort ourselves out, rather than continue being ignorant.  For tomorrow will not be very kind to us. 

And I ask myself, what do I fear, to get involved with the national protests?  As a Salesian, I fear I represent an organisation, that can tomorrow be pulled up.  But as a citizen, do I not have certain duties?  If not mobilise others, what's preventing me from joining others in voicing my protest against the subtle demographic and religious politics being played out?  Does the Strenna of the year, "Good Christians, and upright citizens", not translate into this?  

First day at School

Today was my first day at school... as a teacher.  When I told some of my colleagues and students, they all thought that I was referring to this day being the first day of the calendar year, and that too after the Christmas holidays.  Only a couple of them actually got the point that it was my first day ever at teaching in a school! 

All in all, it was great.  Though I did not teach any of the groups I'll be handling directly, I got to see them.  Of the four groups, all knew that their previous teacher had left the job, but only to one group was I introduced as the new full time RE teacher.  The other groups were told that there would be someone coming in shortly.  Not even the substitute teacher knew that I was the one, sitting at the back, who would be the one - at least not till the end of the class did they know. 

Met some students whom I'd met in November when I went in for two days. They recognised me and came over to talk.  They remembered that it was my first day - so they came around to give me company during the break. 

The best part of the day: As always, outside the classroom.  I joined one boy sitting alone and having his lunch.  I asked him if I could join him and initially he told me that he prefers to be alone.  But just as I was lingering around, he told me, he'd be happy if I sat with him.  And then began the conversation.  Honestly I hardly heard or understood anything he said - most of it due to the fact that it was in the playground and secondly because he himself was not very clear in his speech.  Nonetheless, I gathered that he is new to the school (since September) and that he is yet to really feel at home here.  The climax of our interaction was when he volunteered to show me around the school - since I told him that this was my first day at school.  He is one of the three people today who understood in my first mention that I was totally new.  And when I agreed, his face lit up and he did show me the whole campus.  Well, all that he was familiar with: lockers, toilets, classrooms, "some sort of playground"... and then the learning centre - where "no learning happens!" (those were his exact words!).  Couldn't have asked for a better start!

Look forward to the following days, especially next week, when I'll be flying solo!  

Good human beings and honest citizens

The Strenna of the Rector Major for the year, "Good Christians and upright citizens" in the light of the 'Our Father' is a reminder of Don Bosco's own mission for his boys back in his times.

For me, everytime I come across this theme or the poster, I am reminded that it is while speaking about this theme to the Cooperators, last November, that I got the call from home!  And ironically, I was speaking to them about contextualising the theme in the Indian context and the relevance of the 'name'.  While preparing for the talk, and the significance of the 'name' in the Indian tradition and how we tend to 'use' it rather than live it, I was always thinking of it in the context of our political and religious heritage.  But while speaking to the cooperators, what kept coming back to my mind was my own name 'Castilino'.  And all the examples and explanations I was giving, even though it fitted well with the context I was explaining, in my mind, they were all mirroring my surname, my family name, my Dad!

The only other thing I remember of that talk, is that I did not focus on the latter half of the theme: 'honest citizens'.  I remember not if I did tell this to them or not, but I certainly thought about it.  To accomplish that in the Indian context, it may take even Don Bosco himself quite some time and effort!  

The fragility of discernment

Reflecting on the action of the three wise men, one cannot but admire them for their courage.  The risk they undertook to find this divine revelation.  On the one hand, we call them 'wise', and on the other, they start off with nothing but an intuition/inspiration and a star in the night sky!  No certainty.  No guarantee of success.  Furthermore, tradition states that they set off alone - no convoy, no military escort.  And if they are to follow the only practical guiding principle - the star - they could only travel at night.  The risk of brigands and thieves.  And it was not coal or grass they were carrying! 

Yet, they undertake the journey.  They weigh the positive outcome as far more superior to the risk they undertake in that journey.  They trust the star.  They trust their intuition.  They trust themselves.  They believe it is a divine power leading them.  For placing their confidence in all such criteria, I wonder if they'd be called 'wise' by today's standards.  Yet our Christian tradition always held them to be 'wise men from the East'.  

Wisdom of the wise men

The three 'wise' men who visited the infant Jesus in the manger, are they called 'wise' because they visited Jesus or were they wise beforehand and therefore able to find Jesus? 

As this debate raged on in my mind as I entered the Church for Mass this morning, I tried to find the answer to it in the readings.  So, after long, many many days, I paid close attention to the readings read in the Church.  Nothing very clear to clarify that doubt.  But then sometime after the gospel reading something else struck my mind which totally answered the question, but in a very different way. 

What flashed in my mind was the fact that their wisdom was not their doing!!  That they were termed 'wise' is actually not for what they did, but basically for recognizing that they were part of something greater.  The actual work was being done by God!  He was manifesting Himself - Epiphany.  That was the great event.  The three men who visited the infant did not make that happen.  They did not have any direct role to play in this manifestation.  All that they did was become aware of it and witness it!  Their greatness lay not in making the manifestation happen, but in discerning it, recognizing the event, and participating in it with reverence.  That's what wisdom consisted in! 

It is easy to get our focus misplaced... after all, the three kings/wise men are the new entrants to the crib.  The rest have been there for sometime now!  What is new or different easily catches our eye and we tend to focus on it, rather than the main event unfolding.  But the wisdom of the three kings offers us this lesson: to be able to discern the main point, from out of a million other things (perhaps new and flashing and great and amazing things!) happening.  And see ourselves in the light of that main point, rather than make ourselves the centre of attention and the rest revolving around us.  

Nativity scene from Fisher House, Cambridge

At the Catholic University Chapliancy centre of Cambridge (Fisher House), in the Chapel, they had recreated a whole Roman town - replete with a large street, buildings, miniature statues in Roman attire of the ancient time, shops and bridges and balconies!

And to one end, placed the nativity scene... felt a bit odd, to see it under a large arch, out in the open street, rather than in the back and beyond, manger!  Nonetheless, the whole arrangement was very beautiful. 

Spanning the spectrum of life

While at Cambridge, was keen on visiting the Christ's college Chapel.  Had visited the King's College Chapel on a previous visit.  Had heard much about the former from the Rector.  However, did not find it appealing - perhaps, had raised my level of expectations too high!

Anyway, two things that attracted me most: the mosaic behind the sanctuary and the marble carving on the right of the sanctuary.  Couldn't really get a good picture of the mosaic, but it depicted the risen Christ (or was it Christ, the King?) over the college campus.  Looked good!

The marble carving on the side were of two people - couldn't get their names or details since the description was totally in Latin. However what caught my eye was the carving of a small kid holding a skull in one hand!  Felt a bit strange to see the two ends of life juxtaposed, yet ignorant or oblivious of each other! The child is in no state of mind to know what the skull means.  The skull didn't have a clue of what infancy is all about.  But the viewer, who is aware of both, is left 'halfway through'.  The other side infant too had something in hand, but couldn't really make out what it was - most probably, it was damaged, and not complete. 

Cruise control

Drove Br Peter to see Cambridge today.  While on the motorway remembered the new cruise control and speed limit options provided in the cars.  Initially tried cruise control but did not manage to get it.  Accidently, learnt the speed limit option!  Then thought it best to read the manual and then try it rather than experiment while driving at 70 mph!  However, curiosity got the better of me and I tried, and learnt it quick.  Not that difficult given the minimal procedures/buttons offered - I guess, rightly for a reason!

Initially while on cruise control, it was a bit worrying.  I guess, it is like any human situation, wherein one is totally in control, but when one is handing over control to someone, it is always an anxious moment.  Not being in control, can be very disturbing!  However, once you get a hang of it, the option is a good addition.  I think, it becomes good, when one realises, that one is still in control! 

Love came down