One of the questions I have been asking myself regarding the walk I'd done over the last week is whether it was worthwhile to physically feel so much as to jeopardize my participation in the Paschal liturgy meaningfully?
When at times your legs are so aching that you cannot think of anything else, prayer and divine contemplation is not something that comes easily. You are not interested in it at all. All you want to do is get into a comfortable posture and relax. Prayer and worship go out of the window.
On the other side, I noticed this peculiar phenomenon, not only about myself but about practically everyone in the group. No matter how much we were tired individually, when there was a need for something to be seen to or done, there were always people ready and willing. Not grudgingly but with a contagious enthusiasm.
As for prayer and connecting with the Divine, I realised that feeling of being in pain was a great leveller. None of us participating in the liturgy or even sitting quietly in the Church or on the pavement were any better or different from one another, and most importantly from the one whom we were trying to think about. My tiredness and aches in themselves linked me with Jesus. I was not thinking about Jesus or praying to Him, I was feeling like Him! Even for one attempting to widen the scope of meaning and language (as part of my PhD), to include feelings and desires, this 'realization' did not come easy.
When at times your legs are so aching that you cannot think of anything else, prayer and divine contemplation is not something that comes easily. You are not interested in it at all. All you want to do is get into a comfortable posture and relax. Prayer and worship go out of the window.
On the other side, I noticed this peculiar phenomenon, not only about myself but about practically everyone in the group. No matter how much we were tired individually, when there was a need for something to be seen to or done, there were always people ready and willing. Not grudgingly but with a contagious enthusiasm.
As for prayer and connecting with the Divine, I realised that feeling of being in pain was a great leveller. None of us participating in the liturgy or even sitting quietly in the Church or on the pavement were any better or different from one another, and most importantly from the one whom we were trying to think about. My tiredness and aches in themselves linked me with Jesus. I was not thinking about Jesus or praying to Him, I was feeling like Him! Even for one attempting to widen the scope of meaning and language (as part of my PhD), to include feelings and desires, this 'realization' did not come easy.
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