Lenten mornings

My meditation moments in the morning are perhaps the only 'Lenten practices' I'm having this season.  Compared to the liturgical and paraliturgical practices that abound our days and timetables back in India, here it is a moment of personalization.  That way, all those practices of piety for Lent I've been used to (and partially faithful to) all over the years have fallen off the radar!  Does that make me less of a Christian? Do I feel less like a Christian? I wouldn't claim that at no time have I felt a sense of guilt of having 'given up' Lent, for Lent!  But the feeling is only that I've given up certain ways of living and practicing Lent.  Does the 'new' way make me a better Christian?  Neither would I claim that! 

But one thing I certainly feel convinced about: personal luxury - be that of material things or of time - certainly does not really help in living a Christian life.  No wonder why Christian teaching is so much related and rooted in poverty.  So I basically keep asking myself what do I need to do, be or say, to love more.  To begin with at least let me not envy or grudge others around me.  I know that's not the ideal, but at least not receding (even if it means remaining stagnant for now), is better than falling back to ways and means of making myself feel good but not actually being and becoming more human!

Even though most of the times it is blabbering and often totally confused and distracted, morning meditation is perhaps the only thing most sensible I have as of now.